PineappleIsDeliciousOnPizzaFightMe
63052
1021
40
Jan 29, 2024 7:51 PM
PineappleIsDeliciousOnPizzaFightMe
63052
1021
40
deaddogsmuggler
I think mercury is in reverse cowgirl. Make sure your microwave has some crystals.
writerbuddy
Worried mom thinks the girl could be son's half-sister by the same dad?
RealScienceMan
I just tell people I'm an Ophiuchus, which is a legitimate constellation since the late 90s that no one includes.
fduh5ngkavsruhqo4lfm
Just lie dude, she obviously doesn't care about facts
vincentlaurila
This is actually important, I eventually got divorced because my ex-wife is a gemini, and I don't believe in unscientific bullshit
cousteau
I once needed to know this exact info (especially the time and timezone) in order to calculate the most appropriate moment to celebrate my billion-second-iversary. Dealing with timezones and DST was the hardest part.
woozle
wut
TheJudgeHasItBackwards
Or you know, let people have their fun. The best lessons are learned the hard way.
pointystick
I am cancer.
BurlRavenscroft
and my degenerate ass sitting here thinking he was about to bang a long lost twin or something
pkmnfrk1
I’m a Candycorn
RummageSaleBubbler
> I am an Aquarius, whatever that means
Means you're into Aquaman.
kilgoth1
AND she is in his seat...
https://youtu.be/j0H4xTla_M8?si=t_Ugt8vXASn9e5ox
FirstInLastOut
Stay away from new agers. It's all narcissists and sociopaths.
MmmmmSoup
My mum does natal charts for fun we joke about star signs but we don't believe in them
Chewbaccacabra
Happy bday, @op
PineappleIsDeliciousOnPizzaFightMe
Coming up soon! Thank you!
kaijuuGold
she must be feeling something cause mars is in retrograde and sagittarius moon is rising
CrunchWrapFrappuccinoo
unfortunatelynotdeadyet
It might be Iceland and she is just checking they’re not related. Most people use the special app for this.
kakistocratxvi
Icelandic people often write to each other in English
Gvilain
or Alabama, to check if they are related
Lyconous
I always tell them to guess what I sign is. Apparently that's a very Virgo thing to do, which I am
VioletCatastrophe
im going to become this kind of girl for the bit, and then its going to stop being a bit at some point. i get to choose my own red flags lmao
ulesverne
My mind went to identity theft. I guess astrology makes more sense (no pun intended).
JAPONfan
I can confirm. If a girl ask such question it means she's into "human design" and it's a scientficially mumbojumbed astrology with numbers. Anyone who believe it and decide about their life based on it have a mental issues.
EndlingGer
Huh, my own explanation was way worse… or maybe not.
ChloePrice
Ooooor it could be a goofy funny thing just to see what they get? You don't have to be deranged to enjoy things that are objectively useless.
IPourTheMilkFirstThenAddChocolate
Yeah I thought that sounded like a fun idea after I read your comment. I googled it and I gotta say this shit is just info farming with extra steps
ChloePrice
It definitely can be abused as info farm yeah. Just don't type your shit into random websites or tell it to people you don't really know.
TalleyZorah
Bruh, those girls (and sometimes guys!) get so aggressive with it. It's so annoying when they're your coworker.
cavepainted
Or your boss. Who is also followed by at least 3 spirits from her past lives.
cousteau
Just tell them you don't have a Zodiac sign because you were born during an eclipse so the Sun wasn't on any constellation. That'll totally make them lose interest on the topic.
Dociousaliexpilisticfragicalirepus
Recently fooled around with a guy like this. He was absolutely schizophrenic.
TalleyZorah
Oof. Last time I had to deal with this was a coworker. He wanted to do a reading for me, I was intrigued because it was an Indian version of horoscopes (I don't know what it's called). I regretted it when he started 'predicting' super intimated details in my life like fertility troubles.
Dociousaliexpilisticfragicalirepus
Wtf
morrighan42
Lol, she's going to be hiding crystals all over his house
factcheckmate
She needs some on her steering wheel. Claymore style
JemIsTrulyOutrageous
I'm sad that crystals are so red flaggy for people. I legit just think they're neat. I'm not inserting them anywhere for healing properties.
wherethehorriblethingsare
Depends on the crystals IMO.
Detacheddavid
But if you hide crystals they cannot absorb moonlight.
AllTheGoodOnesWereGone
In the Chinese Zodiac, I was born in the Year, Month, Day, and Hour of the same animal sign. Which actually is probably horribly unlucky, but seems kind of cool.
cousteau
Do you mean like "year of the goat / month of Capricorn", or does the Chinese Zodiac actually have months too?
AllTheGoodOnesWereGone
Like the year of the Tiger in the month of the Tiger on the day of the Tiger during the hour of the Tiger. 2024 will be the year of the Dragon. There’s also Ox, Hare, Monkey, etc. 12 in all.
cousteau
I didn't know there was a "month of the Tiger" in the Chinese calendar; only knew about the years.
AllTheGoodOnesWereGone
There's Year, Month, Day, and Hour in traditional Chinese Zodiac I believe, and it has since been extended to include Minute as well, but that's more of a modern thing. Also the "Hour" is like a two-hour period, so all of this comes from a time when timekeeping was rather less precise.
AllTheGoodOnesWereGone
https://www.travelchinaguide.com/intro/chinese-zodiac-time.htm
Detacheddavid
How can someone not know what place he was born?
UnoriginalPieceOfRepeatingShit
I mean fuckin ay he was there when it happened!
bisqwit
Some people don’t even know where they were last Saturday.
Krossis
How could you not know something you were never told?
Detacheddavid
If he's in dating age, he probably already had the chance of asking/knowing.
Krossis
Do you know how many toes your great grandma had when she was 17? How could you know to ask something that you didn't know would be significant at some point in your life?
miked854
I'm a Taurus, we don't believe in that shit.
TheOneAndOnlyButtStabber
I asked my mom the time I was born because I have a clock tattooed on me and needed a time on it. My mom hates Tattoos, and I had to lie to her and say it was some online bullshit test thing.
cousteau
I thought it was us Scorpios who didn't believe in that bull? (Probably because it always portrays us as assholes no matter what)
cavymeister
I'm a mustang.
drcookieninja
I'm a Bronco. Someone give me a tow?
OldTownPhantom
Horoscopes are crock. My psychic said so.
RummageSaleBubbler
Bull sheeet? Yaw'll say?
Kitakita
I'm a human, you furry
polijutre
typical taurus
HelloLetsGo
Taurus' are over qualified...they know bull, and shit
JackHL01
do they also know about Jack?
staceBugTerror
Correct
Geniusest
I’m a feces.
Poopoopeepeevagina
It's fun to know. But that's all it is is fun. Or not, do what ever you want
mikasaur
I thought I made up this line. I used it on someone once and she said "that's such a Taurus thing to say."
miked854
Thats the best part is, it's actually part of horoscope lore. Tauruses are practical and skeptical so they dint believe in horoscopes. Having that rambled at me is how I came up with that joke.
DrBukkakeShots69
Im a beetle with a mustard moon rising and a pretzel sun
cousteau
The irony of your avatar being the Taurus sign... (yes, I had to look it up)
DrBukkakeShots69
Hahaha
BastardMan1977
I don't get it
HypnagogicHallucinations
He applied to chiropractor school.
PorneliusHubertII
Astrology girls be cray
evildicemonkey
The boy is the future leader of humanity and a terminator is trying to determine when he is at his weakest
spontaneous9
It probably means he met a girl who wants to find the aspects of planetary positions for an astrology chart that supposedly reveals hidden info on your personality traits, "past lives" & other scientifically laughable bullshit. This also is one way to get public-record birth info like if you know what date, time & city, you can then find what hospitals were in operation, then search those to get birth records, which unless I'm mistaken would include mother's maiden name, father's full name etc.
loopbear
Humandesign, I guess
CitizenPrime
this is because Jupiter is in retrograde
Colopty
He's using Siri to text. Absolutely sickening.
TacoPoweredHelicopter
He might have his hands full with that girl.
cousteau
I thought the joke was that the girl borrowed his phone to know if he was lying about his age
ChelVanin
He’s trying to figure out his star signs.
oogliebooglie
Gotta be more to it. Star signs are generally reliant on your specific birthday. Typically they don’t rely on birth time and place.
ConfederacyOfDunces
Those get you things like Ascendant and Moon sign.
georgedragonslayer
DM me the last 4 digits of your SS# and I will tell you.
080080
kc2syk
this is gold
cousteau
Something tells me 90% of those comments were just continuing the joke. (Let's not speak about the other 10%...)
merrilup
Not Sure Son Your Adopted
chepeweb
Ask your cousin
SherMattLockSmith
Boy is being scammed and mom is not having it.
holobiolo
Typical Taurus
Californiajackson
The boy has met a girl who's trying to scam personal info from him so she can answer security questions on his accounts.
LadyVae
i'm thinking its a bot
CorrectMostOfTheTime
No this is a hippy dippy what’s your sign follow these crystals align your chakra based on the stars situation
jargonmon
But if he doesn't know the answers then how could they be his security questions?
jfalconic0
That won't stop scammers from asking
mikeatike
That's how secure his accounts are.
Californiajackson
Good point. When she asked, she probably assumed he knew? Maybe not--which means, unless mom has a real hate on for astrology, I don't get it either.
InboxMeYourHDGIFs
I have a particular dislike for astrology. Everybody I've met that takes it seriously was just trying to use it as an excuse for their flaws/mistakes, instead of reflecting on their actions and improving.
davisboy42
I'd guess if she had his birth place and time she has a way to look up and obtain his birth certificate, which may be useful in identity theft
mikeatike
And I don't think birth place has anything to do with astrology. It's the same sky.
xlr82xs
But the light reflecting from uranus doesn't hit everywhere at the same time, so that will change your future. Or fortune. Or something.