StormPooper78
185326
12730
268
Jun 28, 2016 8:50 PM
StormPooper78
185326
12730
268
ekwalters
unfortunately, #20 has led me to grief. it seems other, less enlightened people have a dim view of kidnapping, robbery & auto theft.
FindingANameIsBS
Why am I seeing ads?
GothRainbowPotato
Thank you for sharing OP, I was suicidal recently and I was looking for something like this. I needed to read #8
LillyCeceil
"In five years will this matter" Yes Cameron it will you thick shit!
SpellboundFish
#14 makes me think this was written by someone who isn't a member of the LGBTQ community. Sometimes secrecy = safety of your life.
szepasszony
Funny how God takes credit for all the good things, but all the shitty things: eh, that's just life, right?
ashmenon
#14 must be nice to be in a country that doesn't jail gay people.
respectmahauthoritah
"Always choose life" man, as someone who suffers from depression and regular suicidal thoughts, this hits me hard.
whirlpool4
it hugs you hard :) we want you to choose life, even if you don't want to
jeeper08jk
But I enjoy buying stuff I don't need
eojlc
This was bollocks
ParalysisOfWill
someone ate an entire catering bag of Fortune Cookies
TienDow
LOL - Thank you
NotFunt
And we praise that person as a hero
elzi0
these sort of posts are always right on time , that or im here too much
ProfessorMorifarty
#4: My friends and family won't pay my medical bills or prescribe me medicine. #5: Don't buy a single thing you don't need?
Jonataurus
When in doubt, whip it out.
Sillyworx
... But trust me on the sunscreen.
ProDildoLauncher
46: Death comes for us all. Eat a lot of pie too
mandatoryplaytime
At first I read this as "90 life lessons written by a 45 year old." I wasn't impressed.
stickupyourhands
i needed to read this so badly today - my heart has been broken (again) and I am in hiding and hurting - I need to pick myself up and go out
Solarri
If we threw all our problems in a pile and saw everyone else's, we'd grab ours back.
DiggyDark
20 sounds a little rapey grandma?
LulzMudkipz
Yield? Alright I guess
unreachablecupcake
Im a fan of this
BillWeenus
ItsMeMello7
To oncoming traffic
goatfkersdidnothingwrong
Pretty sure #20 would put a lot of us in prison. This dude just wants to watch the world burn.
whirlpool4
I read it like it was someone's grandma, even though it didn't specify the person's gender... she sounds like a determined go-getter
PopatoMc
pipsaw22
Make fun of these all you want. I'll take any advice I can get at this point in my life, while I've still got time.
Leozas
Above all, stay hopeful, and be patient when you can.
absolutelyali
Exactly
azureraptor
I enjoyed these. For some reason I heard them being read by Sir Ian McKellen...
Anisotropic
Thank you for saying this
ProfessorMorifarty
"You'll never get the time you spend on imgur back."
TypicalWhiteGuy94
I'm at the point of my life that every responsibility that was my parents is now all mine and I'm drowning in it. This gave me some hope
lizardinajar
Right there with you, buddy.
PigeonPrincess
I'm not your buddy, pal.
pipsaw22
I'm not your pal, friend.
2wentyse7en
Word.
littlefruit
If I could give this post one piece of advice, it would be that life is to short to repost.
LokiTDD
if you don't wanna be a bum you better chew bubblegum
lifestooshorttothinkofusernames
Earth is full of advice.. Just Do stuff. Do it!
PopatoMc
20.
JuicyFish
With* not at
SugarSmack
False.
Bloodyshadowra
Pretty sure it's at this point
SpaceballsTheComment
#9: I'm still contemplating if VR porn matters enough for 700 bucks...
Pootisborn
Eh, maybe in a few years when Valve makes a sex accessory. I say they call it the Nozzle.
PwnageHobo
They're already a thing in Japan
ProfessorMorifarty
"Please do not be alarmed. We are about to engage The Nozzle. Please do not move while The Nozzle is engaging."
howcaniinternetgoodificantevenfitinsidethecomputer
Re: #18, my grandpa got shrapnel in his knee on DDay and he limped the rest of his life, but he was the most mentally tough SOB I've known.
zhukoz
Everything that came afterwards in peacetime was nothing by comparison...I saw that with my Dad, who served in Burma during WW2
littlefruit
Damn! I get the symbolism of #18 but I wish there was a better expression for it. At face value it sounds so wrong (and a little funny).
LongCommentChainAppreciator
Probably didn't make him that much tougher though. He probably already was tough before.
howcaniinternetgoodificantevenfitinsidethecomputer
Now that's a good point. He did go through the Great Depression.
LongCommentChainAppreciator
I too remember when Emo's were running rampart through the streets.
BondageBurrito
I don't need art supplies...but they make me happy sooooo
GuardsmanMiku
only one I dont agree with. Bying random shit on impulse can lead to funny situations! (as long as you can afford if of cause)
BondageBurrito
I always try to buy stuff after long consideration.
Ravanna
I also like to smell graphite pencils
ANewBadlyDrawnReactionImageAsIMakeThem
WHEN IT COMES TO WHAT YOU LOVE DONT TAKE NO FOR AN ANSWER
BondageBurrito
That doesn't always work lol
kittybuttwiggle
I don't mean t o be a downer but oh boy does that sentiment seem very easy to corrupt.
ANewBadlyDrawnReactionImageAsIMakeThem
Hence the caps
mrlemonbarz
If art supplies art what make you happy, then yeah, you do need them
SandpaperCock
thou art not going to sneak that pun behind our backs, or art thou?
mrlemonbarz
well shit i didnt even mean to type that. It just autocorrect my "are" to "art". haha. im always funny by mistake
mayodash
I love it
SandpaperCock
we'll just call it a happy mistake then, I mean... it's still grammatically valid so it's not a bad pun.
potatiskatt
Same but with typewriters. I keep buying them from second hand stores. I don't need them, but they make me all giddy inside.
GuardsmanMiku
'I *keep* buying them...' HOW MANY TYPEWRITERS DO YOU HAVE?
potatiskatt
I had 6, but I gave one to my friends because they wanted one, so now I have 5. But only 3 actually work properly.
ScrawnyAssling
Why do people call life short, it's literally the longest thing you'll ever do
rollercostarican
It is short. I'm almost 30 and I'm very upset that 1/3 of my life is gone.
wombescapee
Our lives are micro-blips on the universe's timeline. Much of what we do is wasteful of such precious time. We ought to live while we can.
BrobiwanKenobro
People took you way too seriously haha. I like how they replied that your comment was inane with inane comments, too. People so smaht.
Crossulti
Thanks Dwight!
InfamousPotato
Being dead is far longer. Not to mention you are being rather obtuse to the point of the saying.
ScrawnyAssling
Do I need to out an lol after everything I type for people to notice a joke?
InfamousPotato
Many asshats on here say what you say without joking. Sure wouldn't hurt.
ANewBadlyDrawnReactionImageAsIMakeThem
There is absolutely no way for us to know if you are joking or not through text
ScrawnyAssling
You could take a look at my user name and ask yourself how serious @scrawnyassling could possibly be
ANewBadlyDrawnReactionImageAsIMakeThem
you haven't been on here very long if you think anyone pays attention to usernames
buttoncamus
I'm almost 100% atheist but the God he describes is one I'd be comfortable praying to if it came down to it.
Afreeman81
Well, if you care to talk about anything regarding faith im pretty well versed in most of it. :) and I love talking about it. Pm me.
icameinlikeafeckingball
I’m agnostic but I like to believe that there’s probably a God and He (or She or whatever) is probably really nice. His PR team is shit tho.
Afreeman81
Well, I believe there is a God as well and his PR team is pretty shitty. So if you wanna talk to an unbiased source, please pm me. :)
JiggleNutz
Never waste a hard on and never trust a fart
helicopterpenguinsex
And never pass up a bathroom.
rookerrocks
Tell Sackett, 'eat like you don't know when your next meal is'
pointynipples
What do you mean trust a fart though?
StandAgainstTyranny
What feels like a fart may be a disaster waiting to happen.
confanity
Why are so many imgurians apparently shitting themselves at the slightest provocation?
TheInterntNeverLiesAndNietherDoI
It's what we do.
ReynTimeBaby
Know when to fold and know when to walk away
SmokeyQuartz
*never waste a hard on after the age of 18
confanity
Even then, there are going to be multiple "maintenance" hard-ons each day/night. Apparently it helps with blood-vessel health.
CarnalIndulgence
No lie...."It's okay to be mad at God. He can take it." May have just changed my life.
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LittleDutch
Some of you people have such clever responses. xD
russrob84
Yeah some of these are great...the one about everyone throwing their troubles in a pile, and you would take back yours.....so true
willowhoot
It's not to be confused with loosing faith. That is different.
TienDow
Good =)
Ajn2016
I thought that was the point of the old testament, seriously not all Christians know this!?
Dominian
If there's a god, he truly doesn't give a shit.
FifetyBillionQuestions
I was so shocked when I first heard someone say this.
EveryonesRaping
don't get mad. get even.
Hopsnscotch
If you feel so inclined, pick up the book of Ecclesiastes.
Saulot99
I'm not religous in any real sense of the word,but I do like casually studing them and I find that one very profound.
EnigmaSentinel
"It's ok to interpret gods rules different because at the end of the day whatever suits you fam"
aStupidTaco
I'm not sure what i believe in, but that's a powerful statement
thatquietasianalwaystakingmentalnotes
Probably what I needed to hear most in my life.
saucefordipping29
I finally getting over my anger towards god. Its been some time and i am ready not to be angry anymore
LittleDutch
Indeed, he does not exist anyway, perfectly alright to be mad at that.
ACerealKiller
As an athiest, this made me think.
russrob84
God/Jesus is amazing...when you get rid of anger for religion, you can finally see how amazing God is, and how he provides for you every day
TheFuzziestBunnyAround
I acknowledge that you're trying to spread love to others but it's important to know that the same thing doesn't work for everyone.
TheFuzziestBunnyAround
Being atheist isn't necessarily about being angry at religion; it can be about taking control of your life, holding yourself accountable etc
FifetyBillionQuestions
Also, that God can't be disappointed in you, because to be disappointed requires expectations, and since God knows all, there are none.
LittleDutch
Except for when you break one of his random commandments. Because he loves you, but will send you to hell regardless.
CidEquinox
That was...profound...I needed that. Thank you kind stranger.
StandAgainstTyranny
I like that notion.
AbsolutelyBarbaricSarcasticBear
To all the people responding negatively to this: What would you want in a God? A benevolent dictator? A God who disallows us free will? >>
AbsolutelyBarbaricSarcasticBear
Loud atheists always whine about the Church or the religious right being Authoritarian, then they complain that our God isn't Authoritarian.
lyricallove
I don't believe in God, but I'd be lying if I said this didn't strike a chord with me. When I saw that in the post my heart skipped a beat.
StandAgainstTyranny
I find that many believe in a concept of a divine and benevolent entity or energy, just not all the BS that comes with their "adoring fans."
StandAgainstTyranny
"There are some who have gone looking for God, but found Religion, instead." - unknown