AkademicEpidemik
95357
2361
38
Sep 1, 2021 3:45 PM
AkademicEpidemik
95357
2361
38
OriginalAndWitty
Your multiple greats grandparents watch you rub another one out to some nasty ass freaky-deaky porn- "Nice."
usernametakenisthestoryofmylife
Just wrap yourself in tinfoil before you start garbling balls.
TheEuphinator
I like it when grandma watches
LeftRightThere
So earth is like a Twitch stream? A hub?
mjjt
What else do you do for entertainment in heaven? Do you get unrestricted Disney + etc?
Baeloro
It's not a serious question. Despite whatever answer you get, belief is just that: belief. It stops at the edge of our brain.
DarthVaderDidNothingWrong
Not only does granny know, her granny also does. And she's got something to say about parenting skills!
moonnoodleface
As a child the idea my dead relatives were watching made me scared to shower or poop. Its seriously freaked me out. Still does.
SipsTeaSuspiciously
No. Grandma watches you being a ball gobbling whore. But she is still proud of you and loves you all the same.
thehappycowhouse
The spirit is freed from all our earthly concerns. I think she'd be like "oh good for her"
PoopyProblem5
Yeah and some pedo is prob watching children poop
Othernate
"It's all very mysterious" says your local religious leader. "You'll just have to find out when you die and can no longer tell anyone."
gis4gif
ToSisPoS
She didn’t get to bring your granny without gobble or two. Listen closely she might offer pointers.
CoarseAndSalty
There is no biblical account of anyone in heaven being able to perceive the living world except God. It would actually be substantially
CoarseAndSalty
horrible if they could watch the living with no way to interact.
StenYngve
I love how the comments are all cheering you on
DarthBrooks64
Eccesiates 9:5 "For the living know that they will die, but the dead know nothing at all" So she ain't watching anything.
eclyptix
Yeah I really hope my uncle and great grandma aren't watching me do the type of shit I do in the bedroom, alone or with my S.O.
SilverNicktail
Serious answer: It's nonsense, don't worry about it.
kbunyan
Someone enlighten me seriously: why is there a detailed description of heaven in most religion and no details on hell ?
nomorehate
Found the kid who didn't grow up Southern Baptist. I'm gay and used to cry myself to sleep bc of the sermons on how bad hell would be for >
kbunyan
No offense but i have always heard the "how" part which sounds insanely humanized. Not the description of hell.
nomorehate
my "kind." This one preacher would have foam coming out of the corners of his mouth, red in the face, and I STILL have nightmares about it.
Nikolai5
I used to cover my face with my shirt when pooping as a kid because I was embarrassed that ghosts were watching me.
BJA007
Damn, least you can do is let grandma have some entertainment. I'm sure ball gobbling might be against the rules up there.
paintingagency
In heaven there are no balls.
ourari
Or it's wall-to-wall balls. For those who like gobbling them.
paintingagency
[cartoon of St. Peter at gates] "It's basically nothing but balls up here."
HansVerhaegen
Nobody's watching. Death is the final end of anyone. Nothing remains after death to 'watch' anything. There is no afterlife of any kind.
SugarHieroglyph
Yup.
Robosilo
imagine an eternal life with the same level of comprehension, emotional stability and motivation. It sounds like torture.
riddmkidd
My hypothesis is that the physical plane was created out of boredom along with the opportunity to forget everything and relearn it
HansVerhaegen
That's nice. But until you prove it, which you won't, you're just deluding yourself. Beliefs inform actions. Try to limit false beliefs.
riddmkidd
Seems presumptuous that I'm deluding myself. I like to think I'm finding an explanation that works for me. Of course it's open to new info
WhatBackWaterCountry
I don’t know why you’re getting downvoted. You’re correct. I don’t look forward to death but knowing there’s nothing beyond it is comforting
HansVerhaegen
There is much comfort to be found in positive nihilism. Thank you brother.
entercleverusernamehereplease
I've been thinking the same thing since 1980, when I discovered the lingerie section of the Sears catalog.
rletterly
Jayne Modean for the win
CaptainSomebody
I don't believe any afterlife that's connected to earth and let's dead people watch us can be good. We get burnout from other people -
CaptainSomebody
- suffering or commiting evil now. It'd be the same effect in an afterlife too, potentially worse if it's your own family or friends.
riddmkidd
Like a meme site full of reposts?
GrandPubabofMoldistan
Grandma will be there saying "I remember your grandfather balls deep in my ass, fist in my vagina, writing his initials on my heart in cum"
iDrinkDrano
This is true love
GrandPubabofMoldistan
Grandma: True love is when your grandpa was constipated and I had to dig it out by hand reaching elbow deep... And I gave him a reach around
iDrinkDrano
Well while your there might as well
GrandPubabofMoldistan
I mean Grandma had the common courtesy to give a reach around when fucking another person in the ass. She learned that in the Corps
nomorehate
And I got modded for making a rhyme about Tigger cum'ng in someone's face. Lucky.
GrandPubabofMoldistan
Because that was a tiger and this is a cougar :p
DamnedAustin
Religion gets uncomfortable when you start talking about sex in any real way. Next time some religious nutjob tells me that women should (1)
DamnedAustin
be subservient because men resemble God and are supposed to be the leaders, I'm going to ask them how big god's cock is. (2/2)
SergeantMajorSpoiler
Boy, do I have a song for you: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=J29LHAoY_FU&ab_channel=BestOfTimMinchin
InvidiousSquid
Can God sport an erection so large even he can't lift it?
HiddenSanity
Can god sport an erection so large that even he can't take it up the ass?
frenofafren
Just how big a fist can you jam up God's ass before he sends the flood?
nylonjeans
Grandma knew you were a whore when she was alive. Don't worry about it.
xXxSTEVOxXx
Thats a pretty mean thing to say about someone who gives the gift of gargling balls
onlyhalfghost
yeah, she could be nonprofit
xXxSTEVOxXx
Ball garglers without borders
chloramphenicolderivative
And as someone who apparently lost her grandma as a child
nylonjeans
You think that was mean , you should have heard what Grandma had to say .
xXxSTEVOxXx
Hurk gurk grrp glug *gasp* glur gurk gurk slurp
SerenePrincess013
For anyone who doesn't think Grandma choked on dick, lemme remind you: how tf you think your parents came into existence?
roboticKittenTamer
Not by choking on it…
Exdeath5000
I masturbate more vigorously knowing my ancestors are judging my ability to beat my meat
Drakhma
a good way to creep out a ghost is to masturbate and stare at the corner and go "this is for you"
tamalehatchet
I also choose to masturbate in front of this guy's ancestors
SerialChickenLover
They admire your virility
memphizslim
They are very proud of you
SithLoveChild
Must not cause dishonor on the family.
freezingpilot
Or your cow.
PlaidBastard
Hell, your ability to beat their record!
AmotsEinhorc
CaldariBob
If you find the right porn, they'll look away in shame!
Exdeath5000
DanniLuxgarbe
Lo, there do I see my father; Lo, there do I see my mother, my sisters, my brothers; The line of my people, back to the beginning. /1
DanniLuxgarbe
The beckon me to take my place among them, in the halls of Valhalla, where the brave may live forever.
AnythingMuchShorter
I don't worry about the stuffy recent ones, I picture the ancient tribes, marveling at how I can summon images of desirable females at will.
CaldariBob
"But why does that moving drawing woman have a penis?!"
AnythingMuchShorter
Outside of Abrahamic stuff lots of mythologies have stuff like that. Loki was variable. I'm sure older tribes had all kinds of takes on it.
AnythingMuchShorter
"the talisman in his hand summons roasted meat and breads, he is given incredible wealth and honor just for his knowledge and wisdom alone"
RoombaTheAssaultVacuum
My ancestors are smiling at me, Imperial. Can you say the same?
JohnnySilverballs
Skye's rim belongs to the Nords!
Markamanic
Papapoon
Omg that green text
waddyaknowjoe
Grandma gobbled her fair share of balls. She doesn't judge.
asianpeterson
Reminded me of this: https://youtu.be/IPMGdKYBNEI
entercleverusernamehereplease
Good ol' gobblin' grammy.
fireflowerfire
Grandma judged the hell out of people when she was alive. Had 14 kids, called "today's youth" "sex obsessed."
sortofkindamadbutnotreally
Not religious, but I feel like leaving the mortal coil would entail something resembling nirvana. I doubt there would be judgement.
Anju42
She can't because judging is a sin and there's no sins in heaven
Saghan
AnythingMuchShorter
Not like she talked about it a lot, but once you're a ghost you probably get used to how much stuff people do in private.
scissorxmextimbers
If they have plastic on the their couch they are probably squatters
ThomasTheWankEnglne
oh hunny take it easy, its like licking a popsicle not cleaning paint off a wall with your tongue. anyway poppop says hi and agrees with me
bbrown1012
That’s hilarious.
Munchman347
Grandma was a pro, she's gonna judge your technique...
ares133
She invented many of the modern techniques.
brrAainss
Dirty sanchez..galactic watermelon enema, sangria tomato toothpaste. Garlic monster twisttie
brrAainss
Oh. Are we not just adding random words together? My bad
MrRandom314159
Yeah she does. Cup the balls.
Darklinkinfinite
PunIshErnest
We think about it, in those days they didn't think, they just did the deed.
MidnightTacoTruck
Damn, it's a vagina not a clown car.
Skizzlesnap
Grandma was a ballhog. Just like your Mom.
AkademicEpidemik
Sleepy360
LasciviousHedgehog
Seriously, it was like she was playing hungry hungry hippos
TheBigBadBonerBiter
Gam gam was a hoe back in her day.
Krakencrotch
Grandma got her freak on before that phrase existed.
SomethingSomethingJokeUsername
Grandma was on the bottom of a 69...just getting throated while "What a Beautiful World" was playing on the record player. *gurk gurk gurk*
brrAainss
"Oh my gawd ..i love that song. Reminds me of when.. " grandma trails off
DirtyChalupa6669
*glawb glawb glawwwb booawght cough cough glawb glawb glawb*
xXxSTEVOxXx
How do you throat a girl.... unless.....
iDrinkDrano
Some girls come with an extra choking hazard
Circosys
Anyway she likes
SnaccAttacc
Requires >4 inches first off
AnythingMuchShorter
Couldn't getting throated mean getting it in her throat? That or they're rubbing a muff on her neck, which could work.
RoyalWithChz
Yeah. She’s on the “bottom” of the 69 meaning a cock is getting forced into her throat by a dude and gravity.