Jun 28, 2020 2:37 PM
Itzzzthatguy
122194
2820
92
thatsmyfetish69
This is my upstairs neibors fucking kid
TheEliteInvaderZim
Considerate people vs shitty people.
IsItawKWard
That’s why I leave & leave the money on their counter.
TruthIsOffensive
I'm baffled as to how my 5ft tall, 120# wife can make so much noise when she gets up. It has to be intentional.
CoffeePleaseee
Other way around in my house
IWouldDoThings
She means "wake up"
SamArt53
Until I got married I didn’t know there was a wrong way to put milk in the refrigerator.
DancingButterfly
Nope. The roles are reversed at my house.
ZimBamBoodleOoo
Yup.
PuckeredAnus
Everybody here is either like so right or omg the opposite. It’s just about inconsiderate vs considerate people. They’re just assholes
bingotown
Ding ding
pinkevilgirl
The other way around in my house. The hubby is like an elephant in wooden clogs.
jscuster
I will take ten seconds just picking up my keys off the table so they don’t jingle too loud and wake her.
Gnoll
When I get to bed second and I take my belt off I grab the flappy metal bit so it doesn't clink around making noise.
Cpthornswoggler
Ninga pissing on the side of the bowl, instead of directly into the water.
aubuc
And the kids be like
GeraldFord
lilithqueenfairy
I laughed out loud . Nice. Thank you
RoundThreeFIGHT
That's because he falls RIGHT back to sleep but I'd be up immediately lol
WhiteMonkeyLightning
shakeyerbonbonshakeyerbonbon
Hahahahhahaaa... I wish I had a husband
selej
Me too.
Ifyouthinkimseriousyoumissedthejoke
I am a husband. Did you want someone who wasn't one already?
WatashimoLurky
You forgot: frozen berries in the blender for a morning smoothie, and typing a dissertation on the microwave key panel.
UsuallyARabbit
Her thinking: "this mf sleeping in all the time while I'm up working, gonna slam around, that'll get him up!"
At least twenty people with live in significant others and one person who gets early.
LoggingOutNow
Why do you people marry other people whom you can't stand?
We don’t realize it at first.
Then, get divorced and *date* someone you do like.
Or, open up your marriage. Because narcissism is getting really old.
JeretJax
You forgot too turn all the lights on.
VagisilToothpaste
*to
Tool... I mean thank you.
FlamingDeathGoat
No matter how bad a relationship gets, there is light in the tunnel, because no one else turns off the god-damn lights in this house.
So true.
BlindMeach
Just don’t tell her she’s too noisy during sex. Trust me on this one. And pray for me.
Farewell brother
This gif is my last 10 years. Thank you for sharing (and making me weep)
ISeeNippleWithoutLittleKids
RIP
Obligatory dancing pall bearers gif:(
bakminn360
Prayers. Because you done fucked up.
Yes. Yes I did. Fubar one might say
No, everyone would say FUBAR.
Why on earth would you do that?
I KNOW!(
TheFeralDog
Kids maybe?
Neighbours. No chance of kids now
4vie
I hope they found all the pieces of your junk to reassemble it!
Not yet:(( if you happen to come across a bit, please post it to me
.... Are you sure that might not just be pre-existing condition after you left the hospital the first time?
Shh, I thought we’d keep that between ourselves
Oh. uuuh. Begging your pardon?
Smagalicious
Before I got married, I did not know there was a wrong way to put milk in the fridge.
cherbear333
Not in the door!
WorstShotEver
Dude....lifes lessons
DapperDeal
"The label should be facing you!" Got that a few months ago. Guess who puts the labels facing out now... this guy.
yeehawbuckaroo
This is absolutely reversed in my house. My husband walks around with concrete boots and a tambourine if I ever try to sleep in late.
MissSpaceFace
Same! My bf does everything loud. I love him to bits and I'm really trying not to notice, but even his breathing is SO. LOUD.
Our garage is a shop space. The number of times I've picked metal shavings out of our carpet because he doesn't sweet the floor between 1/
jobs and doesn't scrape his feet on the rug when he comes in, is too damn high! Fuckers are sharp. Muh poor feets :< 2/2
veroniDiver
Go Scandinavian. Shoes off as soon as you've entered the house. If you don't want to walk around in socks only, get some cheap slippers. 1/2
Makes cleaning easier. And lessens the wear and tear of floors.
th3guy
I lucked out. My wife is a super heavy sleeper. I don’t have to make extra effort to be quiet. But she’s quiet when she’s up before me.
Linnabelle
I'm extremely jumpy, even when completely awake. Like, my coworkers announce that they're walking up to me to ask a question lol
Mine oses the bedroom door so loudly I nearly fall out of bed half the time! It scares me so bad, I try really hard not to do it to him.
Lunblom
Because I'm not a very nice person I would just ditch the sneaking around and make it a competition of who can be the loudest
Morning pre-work routine: Turn on every light, slam every drawer, make 5 trips in/out of the bedroom for some reason. I feel your pain.
intergalactic1ness
I scoop the dog up and take him out (he’s 15, like to get him out first thing ) husband in loud voice “you have to out, you wanna do PEE PEE
That’s because it’s not a male/female thing, it’s a considerate versus inconsiderate person thing. Get yourself a new one
degreekelvin0
Yes. Being a loud walker is grounds for divorce.
smorsdoeuvres
[deleted]
xVVitch
I had a bf who did that, he is an ex now. Silence is golden.
XHILLARYX
WHY DO MEN INSIST ON STOMPING?! LOL.
itiswhatitis365
Heavy feet condition lol
ohnogeez
we're just heavier!
matracokura42
6' 3" ~220lbs here, constantly getting yelled at for "sneaking around" and scaring the flatmate.
Intrspace
Same. I learnt it because as a kid I grew up in an attic room, so any stomping would definitely wake up my parents sleeping downstairs
Fjould
If they don’t know you’re there they can’t beat you with jumper cables .jpg
aprilludgateduire
I was able to hear my boyfriend drinking his coffee from the bedroom this morning. How does he do things SO LOUD
hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahah
Let the man enjoy his coffee
No! Silence is golden!!!
I often ask the same question about my dad. When he comes home, the entire house goes from silence to intolerable cacophany.
PrincessNakedMoleRat
Thanks to covid, I now share an office with my husband. He blows loudly on the coffee, takes a long, exaggerated slurp, then goes "tk!AHHHH"
Alrathra
Does he slurp you up that good, at least?
I do not take that as a no. I do hope his loudness in other things chill out.
bongles
That's a no
I was just surprised by the question
chazahc
This was the default setting until I told her how loud she was and now she’s a ninja!
surlyghost
I apparently tried too hard and constantly scared the crap out of my ex wife, who always sounded like a fleet of earth-movers.
PrimitiveNinja
Don’t know how you managed that. Been married for almost ten years, told my wife a few times and I think her response to somehow get louder
digdoug78
Wow , same for us. Except for the 2nd part.
HectoProtecto
Ditto.
theFIRSTroman
Lol I told mine the same thing and still as loud, I think I might get served soon hahaha
Kakakarrakeek
Damn, is this that communication stuff I'm always hearing about?
nervesatme
I don't believe it
ChewyChewbacca88
I once got showered and entirely dressed, went downstairs and made my bf breakfast and bought it to him and STILL had to shake him awake
Grumbleswhisperer
If I fall asleep on my couch my SO starts her day with a smoothie in the blender...
Lurker4815162342
My wife can't hear me walking, so I often scare her by accident. I have the delicate physique of a hippo.. I am afraid she is going deaf...
Shawnthegirl
My husbeast is 6'5" and over 300lbs and startles me all the fuckin time. Goddamned giant ninjas.
Elnuggettato
Mine too. I think we block out the rumbles as time goes on so it takes louder and more potent rumbles to catch our attention
c00lbeans69
It's not necessarily that. I get spooked pretty easily. She likely gets lost in her own head often and isnt paying attention
Oh, true, she is like that. Me too :)
Tigergurke
I'm overweight and often accidentally startle people. My little sister as kid always sounded like a stampede even though she was/is thin.
Yokuho
Ah, cause she disappeared.
mikeatike
Training to sneak up and assaasinate you?
ollikahn
he didn't see her for ages
kurukatsu
Be careful
Ghlargh
The first step in talking to women is finding women who will listen.
What?
I'm saying "congratulations on finding someone who listens"
I'm a woman, I was making a joke. I failed. I shall hang my head in shame.
alryc
Haha... have an updoot.
AlexDuos
My wife had a cold once, and when I woke up in the middle of the night she was open mouth snoring directly into my face.
Not necessarily.
You'd think that but *gestures at husband asleep on his side on the couch two rooms away with the door closed...I can make out the syllables
NotTodayMF
As a loving wife, I tried gently nudging mine so he would stop. Now, I slap shit out of his back or chest and act surprised when he wakes up
beneaththemanwefindhisnucleus
I can only sleep facing the other way because of my SO’s breath. I love him though
oblimo
I got that story beat by a two miles. First, mine: I took a nap. Just coming out of sleep, I rolled over, opening my eyes /
My wife is lying there on her side, staring at me. I blink twice, then SCREAM LIKE THE WORLD IS ENDING. *Then* I wake up. /
To this day, she calls it "the scream facial."
Destlin
I thoroughly enjoyed that.
tarzac11
LOL I'm not sure what I was expecting, but it definitely wasn't this.
I was asked not to tell the second story, when my wife, in her sleep, cuddled up backwards into me and farted on my knee.
vaporwavecatrave
My husband snores like a freight train. One night I went to walmart at 2am for earplugs and we've been a lot happier since
WinoCrimesand69s
I am the same unfortunately for my wife. She throat punched me while i was snoring. Didnt even phase me. Bruised in the morning though
abbyrose91
I've been sleeping with earplugs for years
KillerTofu615
My wife often just sleeps in the other room so she can be sure she can get sleep. The freaking guest bedroom has a much nicer mattress.
yeahiheardaboutpluto
Marriage made me appreciate the his/hers bedrooms of old.
Yep
cantspellmanslaughterwithoutlaughter
Sleep Apnea?
Idk but we want him to do a sleep study once covid has calmed down just in case. He has bad acid reflux at night and only snores on his back
Reflux can be a symptom of apnea just as a heads up. Being overweight is the trifecta.
Thank you! Hes far from overweight but as soon as he can he'll still do a sleep study. The one here is closed for covid unfortunately
HellaFishsticks
My husband always falls asleep in like 5 minutes and I just lay there listening to him breath for a while
Ladyabbeyquinn
Which is exactly why I cant sleep unless the TV is on. Listening to breathing drives me insane.
FlatPlutoSociety
My partner falls asleep way more quickly than I do, and I'm often treated to some really weird sleep talking before I finally fall asleep.
everythingthatglitters
I do that. But probably not in the sweet, romantic way you meant...
Lol I didn't even mean it romantically. It takes me forever to fall asleep so, ya...
Ketheres
That's cute. As long as he knows he's your husband and that you aren't just a stalker...
I mean, some nights I'm not even underneath the bed, so
GiantEnemyMudcrabz
Now that’s a relationship goal if I ever saw one.
Shovi
Falling asleep in 5 minutes sounds like some sort of magic is involved, or heavy drugs...
WastingMyLifeOneMemeATaTime
I'd pay 1000's of bucks for the superpower to fall asleep that quickly. On a sidenote, falling asleep that quickly was a symptoms of 1/2
Rogahar
My mum falls asleep in moments but is very easily roused. My dad took ages to fall asleep but needed an earthquake to wake him.
My dad once told me that it's never taken him more than a couple minutes to fall asleep at any point in his entire life. ASSHOLE.
I'm genuinely jealous on your dad's super power to fall asleep that easily.
sleep apnea for my dad, @ some point he was sleeping 23h/day. Maybe a sleep study is welcome.If not, I consider him lucky to sleep so easily
I'm an extreme insomniac myself. I'm often awake for 2-3 days, sometimes a few days more.
ShiftCommand4
Hey, unsolicited advice here... Had the same issue, there is a two finger tap technique for lucid dreaming, I do it to help transition 1/2
thatsmyfetish69
This is my upstairs neibors fucking kid
TheEliteInvaderZim
Considerate people vs shitty people.
IsItawKWard
That’s why I leave & leave the money on their counter.
TruthIsOffensive
I'm baffled as to how my 5ft tall, 120# wife can make so much noise when she gets up. It has to be intentional.
CoffeePleaseee
Other way around in my house
IWouldDoThings
She means "wake up"
SamArt53
Until I got married I didn’t know there was a wrong way to put milk in the refrigerator.
DancingButterfly
Nope. The roles are reversed at my house.
ZimBamBoodleOoo
Yup.
PuckeredAnus
Everybody here is either like so right or omg the opposite. It’s just about inconsiderate vs considerate people. They’re just assholes
bingotown
Ding ding
pinkevilgirl
The other way around in my house. The hubby is like an elephant in wooden clogs.
jscuster
I will take ten seconds just picking up my keys off the table so they don’t jingle too loud and wake her.
Gnoll
When I get to bed second and I take my belt off I grab the flappy metal bit so it doesn't clink around making noise.
Cpthornswoggler
Ninga pissing on the side of the bowl, instead of directly into the water.
aubuc
And the kids be like
GeraldFord
lilithqueenfairy
I laughed out loud . Nice. Thank you
RoundThreeFIGHT
That's because he falls RIGHT back to sleep but I'd be up immediately lol
WhiteMonkeyLightning
shakeyerbonbonshakeyerbonbon
Hahahahhahaaa... I wish I had a husband
selej
Me too.
Ifyouthinkimseriousyoumissedthejoke
I am a husband. Did you want someone who wasn't one already?
WatashimoLurky
You forgot: frozen berries in the blender for a morning smoothie, and typing a dissertation on the microwave key panel.
UsuallyARabbit
Her thinking: "this mf sleeping in all the time while I'm up working, gonna slam around, that'll get him up!"
UsuallyARabbit
At least twenty people with live in significant others and one person who gets early.
LoggingOutNow
Why do you people marry other people whom you can't stand?
bingotown
We don’t realize it at first.
LoggingOutNow
Then, get divorced and *date* someone you do like.
LoggingOutNow
Or, open up your marriage. Because narcissism is getting really old.
JeretJax
You forgot too turn all the lights on.
VagisilToothpaste
*to
JeretJax
Tool... I mean thank you.
FlamingDeathGoat
No matter how bad a relationship gets, there is light in the tunnel, because no one else turns off the god-damn lights in this house.
JeretJax
So true.
BlindMeach
Just don’t tell her she’s too noisy during sex. Trust me on this one. And pray for me.
shakeyerbonbonshakeyerbonbon
Farewell brother
BlindMeach
This gif is my last 10 years. Thank you for sharing (and making me weep)
ISeeNippleWithoutLittleKids
RIP
BlindMeach
Obligatory dancing pall bearers gif:(
bakminn360
Prayers. Because you done fucked up.
BlindMeach
Yes. Yes I did. Fubar one might say
bakminn360
No, everyone would say FUBAR.
VagisilToothpaste
Why on earth would you do that?
BlindMeach
I KNOW!(
TheFeralDog
Kids maybe?
BlindMeach
Neighbours. No chance of kids now
4vie
I hope they found all the pieces of your junk to reassemble it!
BlindMeach
Not yet:(( if you happen to come across a bit, please post it to me
4vie
.... Are you sure that might not just be pre-existing condition after you left the hospital the first time?
BlindMeach
Shh, I thought we’d keep that between ourselves
4vie
Oh. uuuh. Begging your pardon?
Smagalicious
Before I got married, I did not know there was a wrong way to put milk in the fridge.
cherbear333
Not in the door!
WorstShotEver
Dude....lifes lessons
DapperDeal
"The label should be facing you!" Got that a few months ago. Guess who puts the labels facing out now... this guy.
yeehawbuckaroo
This is absolutely reversed in my house. My husband walks around with concrete boots and a tambourine if I ever try to sleep in late.
MissSpaceFace
Same! My bf does everything loud. I love him to bits and I'm really trying not to notice, but even his breathing is SO. LOUD.
Gnoll
Our garage is a shop space. The number of times I've picked metal shavings out of our carpet because he doesn't sweet the floor between 1/
Gnoll
jobs and doesn't scrape his feet on the rug when he comes in, is too damn high! Fuckers are sharp. Muh poor feets :< 2/2
veroniDiver
Go Scandinavian. Shoes off as soon as you've entered the house. If you don't want to walk around in socks only, get some cheap slippers. 1/2
veroniDiver
Makes cleaning easier. And lessens the wear and tear of floors.
th3guy
I lucked out. My wife is a super heavy sleeper. I don’t have to make extra effort to be quiet. But she’s quiet when she’s up before me.
Linnabelle
I'm extremely jumpy, even when completely awake. Like, my coworkers announce that they're walking up to me to ask a question lol
Linnabelle
Mine oses the bedroom door so loudly I nearly fall out of bed half the time! It scares me so bad, I try really hard not to do it to him.
Lunblom
Because I'm not a very nice person I would just ditch the sneaking around and make it a competition of who can be the loudest
Gnoll
Morning pre-work routine: Turn on every light, slam every drawer, make 5 trips in/out of the bedroom for some reason. I feel your pain.
intergalactic1ness
I scoop the dog up and take him out (he’s 15, like to get him out first thing ) husband in loud voice “you have to out, you wanna do PEE PEE
PuckeredAnus
That’s because it’s not a male/female thing, it’s a considerate versus inconsiderate person thing. Get yourself a new one
degreekelvin0
Yes. Being a loud walker is grounds for divorce.
smorsdoeuvres
[deleted]
[deleted]
xVVitch
I had a bf who did that, he is an ex now. Silence is golden.
XHILLARYX
WHY DO MEN INSIST ON STOMPING?! LOL.
itiswhatitis365
Heavy feet condition lol
ohnogeez
we're just heavier!
matracokura42
6' 3" ~220lbs here, constantly getting yelled at for "sneaking around" and scaring the flatmate.
Intrspace
Same. I learnt it because as a kid I grew up in an attic room, so any stomping would definitely wake up my parents sleeping downstairs
Fjould
If they don’t know you’re there they can’t beat you with jumper cables .jpg
aprilludgateduire
I was able to hear my boyfriend drinking his coffee from the bedroom this morning. How does he do things SO LOUD
hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahah
Let the man enjoy his coffee
xVVitch
No! Silence is golden!!!
VagisilToothpaste
I often ask the same question about my dad. When he comes home, the entire house goes from silence to intolerable cacophany.
PrincessNakedMoleRat
Thanks to covid, I now share an office with my husband. He blows loudly on the coffee, takes a long, exaggerated slurp, then goes "tk!AHHHH"
Alrathra
Does he slurp you up that good, at least?
itiswhatitis365
aprilludgateduire
Alrathra
I do not take that as a no. I do hope his loudness in other things chill out.
bongles
That's a no
aprilludgateduire
I was just surprised by the question
chazahc
This was the default setting until I told her how loud she was and now she’s a ninja!
surlyghost
I apparently tried too hard and constantly scared the crap out of my ex wife, who always sounded like a fleet of earth-movers.
PrimitiveNinja
Don’t know how you managed that. Been married for almost ten years, told my wife a few times and I think her response to somehow get louder
digdoug78
Wow , same for us. Except for the 2nd part.
HectoProtecto
Ditto.
theFIRSTroman
Lol I told mine the same thing and still as loud, I think I might get served soon hahaha
Kakakarrakeek
Damn, is this that communication stuff I'm always hearing about?
nervesatme
I don't believe it
ChewyChewbacca88
I once got showered and entirely dressed, went downstairs and made my bf breakfast and bought it to him and STILL had to shake him awake
Grumbleswhisperer
If I fall asleep on my couch my SO starts her day with a smoothie in the blender...
Lurker4815162342
My wife can't hear me walking, so I often scare her by accident. I have the delicate physique of a hippo.. I am afraid she is going deaf...
Shawnthegirl
My husbeast is 6'5" and over 300lbs and startles me all the fuckin time. Goddamned giant ninjas.
Elnuggettato
Mine too. I think we block out the rumbles as time goes on so it takes louder and more potent rumbles to catch our attention
c00lbeans69
It's not necessarily that. I get spooked pretty easily. She likely gets lost in her own head often and isnt paying attention
Lurker4815162342
Oh, true, she is like that. Me too :)
Tigergurke
I'm overweight and often accidentally startle people. My little sister as kid always sounded like a stampede even though she was/is thin.
Yokuho
Ah, cause she disappeared.
mikeatike
Training to sneak up and assaasinate you?
ollikahn
he didn't see her for ages
kurukatsu
Be careful
Ghlargh
The first step in talking to women is finding women who will listen.
Shawnthegirl
What?
Ghlargh
I'm saying "congratulations on finding someone who listens"
Shawnthegirl
I'm a woman, I was making a joke. I failed. I shall hang my head in shame.
alryc
Haha... have an updoot.
smorsdoeuvres
AlexDuos
My wife had a cold once, and when I woke up in the middle of the night she was open mouth snoring directly into my face.
[deleted]
[deleted]
VagisilToothpaste
Not necessarily.
Elnuggettato
You'd think that but *gestures at husband asleep on his side on the couch two rooms away with the door closed...I can make out the syllables
NotTodayMF
As a loving wife, I tried gently nudging mine so he would stop. Now, I slap shit out of his back or chest and act surprised when he wakes up
beneaththemanwefindhisnucleus
I can only sleep facing the other way because of my SO’s breath. I love him though
oblimo
I got that story beat by a two miles. First, mine: I took a nap. Just coming out of sleep, I rolled over, opening my eyes /
oblimo
My wife is lying there on her side, staring at me. I blink twice, then SCREAM LIKE THE WORLD IS ENDING. *Then* I wake up. /
oblimo
To this day, she calls it "the scream facial."
Destlin
I thoroughly enjoyed that.
tarzac11
LOL I'm not sure what I was expecting, but it definitely wasn't this.
oblimo
I was asked not to tell the second story, when my wife, in her sleep, cuddled up backwards into me and farted on my knee.
vaporwavecatrave
My husband snores like a freight train. One night I went to walmart at 2am for earplugs and we've been a lot happier since
WinoCrimesand69s
I am the same unfortunately for my wife. She throat punched me while i was snoring. Didnt even phase me. Bruised in the morning though
abbyrose91
I've been sleeping with earplugs for years
KillerTofu615
My wife often just sleeps in the other room so she can be sure she can get sleep. The freaking guest bedroom has a much nicer mattress.
yeahiheardaboutpluto
Marriage made me appreciate the his/hers bedrooms of old.
KillerTofu615
Yep
cantspellmanslaughterwithoutlaughter
Sleep Apnea?
vaporwavecatrave
Idk but we want him to do a sleep study once covid has calmed down just in case. He has bad acid reflux at night and only snores on his back
KillerTofu615
Reflux can be a symptom of apnea just as a heads up. Being overweight is the trifecta.
vaporwavecatrave
Thank you! Hes far from overweight but as soon as he can he'll still do a sleep study. The one here is closed for covid unfortunately
HellaFishsticks
My husband always falls asleep in like 5 minutes and I just lay there listening to him breath for a while
Ladyabbeyquinn
Which is exactly why I cant sleep unless the TV is on. Listening to breathing drives me insane.
FlatPlutoSociety
My partner falls asleep way more quickly than I do, and I'm often treated to some really weird sleep talking before I finally fall asleep.
everythingthatglitters
I do that. But probably not in the sweet, romantic way you meant...
HellaFishsticks
Lol I didn't even mean it romantically. It takes me forever to fall asleep so, ya...
Ketheres
That's cute. As long as he knows he's your husband and that you aren't just a stalker...
HellaFishsticks
I mean, some nights I'm not even underneath the bed, so
GiantEnemyMudcrabz
Now that’s a relationship goal if I ever saw one.
Shovi
Falling asleep in 5 minutes sounds like some sort of magic is involved, or heavy drugs...
WastingMyLifeOneMemeATaTime
I'd pay 1000's of bucks for the superpower to fall asleep that quickly. On a sidenote, falling asleep that quickly was a symptoms of 1/2
Rogahar
My mum falls asleep in moments but is very easily roused. My dad took ages to fall asleep but needed an earthquake to wake him.
FlatPlutoSociety
My dad once told me that it's never taken him more than a couple minutes to fall asleep at any point in his entire life. ASSHOLE.
WastingMyLifeOneMemeATaTime
I'm genuinely jealous on your dad's super power to fall asleep that easily.
WastingMyLifeOneMemeATaTime
sleep apnea for my dad, @ some point he was sleeping 23h/day. Maybe a sleep study is welcome.If not, I consider him lucky to sleep so easily
WastingMyLifeOneMemeATaTime
I'm an extreme insomniac myself. I'm often awake for 2-3 days, sometimes a few days more.
ShiftCommand4
Hey, unsolicited advice here... Had the same issue, there is a two finger tap technique for lucid dreaming, I do it to help transition 1/2