I was shopping for patio umbrellas, when I found this gem.

Jun 25, 2021 7:22 PM

ButtersTheCat

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61997

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1368

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49

And by "gem", I mean it had better contain some goddamn gemstones, at this ridiculous price:

As low as $777.25/month, you say?!
Hang on, let me grab my Venmo real quick!
Tell me more about this umbrella that costs as much as a car...

I haven't even looked to see how much they're charging for the base, but I'm gonna ballpark it at a grand.

They had this section below the specs, and when I saw it, I thought,
"Yes. WHY MG&WB? Please justify this ludicrous pricing with some elitist description, that I'm too poor to appreciate. Talk wealthy to me."...

LMAO...Okay. ?

To be fair, I'd probably be a helluva lot more comfortable, if I had the kind of disposable income needed, to be their clientele.

"Comfort [like THAT] for everyone" is a bit of a lofty goal, fellas.

https://www.mgbwhome.com/outdoor-cantilever-square-umbrella/70042-GML%2FGRY.html?gclsrc=aw.ds&&gclid=Cj0KCQjw_dWGBhDAARIsAMcYuJx_Un_kFDCJaGTIIqmAYXE5qLmx3afOWu1L6YKUDnTWY2QiTJ21B9YaAtptEALw_wcB

THIS is the kind of shit that ultra-rich people do, with all of the money they don't spend in taxes. Or in "paying their employees a living wage".
Tax the rich.

A 10'x10' cantilevered umbrella is impressive but if I had the money I'd spend $7k to expand my patio 5' and buy a 10'x10' gazebo for $1500.

4 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

surprised it's not a Yeti umbrella

4 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 1

(Avocado) image credit @lordfluffy

4 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

its the apple stand all over again. When you get away with a scam others will copy it.

4 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 1

i bought a solar power and multi light one for less than 300.

4 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

Clearly Apple is branching our into other markets.

4 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

Jesus Christ! Practically the same thing is for sale from Menards for like 525$

4 years ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 0

lts for the class of people who buy based on “It’s better than the neighboring mansion’s shitty ass umbrella” and 6k is a rounding error

4 years ago | Likes 9 Dislikes 0

How much could an umbrella cost?...$10k?

4 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

v

4 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

Back in my day, Comfort Club meant we were on xanax

4 years ago | Likes 17 Dislikes 0

I like that way better than umbrellas.

4 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

Didn’t they sing Karma Chameleon..?

4 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

That's fucking ridiculous!

4 years ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 0

How about rh for $15,995? https://rh.com/catalog/product/product.jsp?productId=prod21330077

4 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

Tuuci! :D Gucci of umbrellas.

4 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

I mean it has heat and LEDs so it’s practically a bargain!

4 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

Shit, at least that one DOES stuff. It's still not worth $15K, but it has some cool features.

4 years ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 0

That's for people who don't know value of money

4 years ago | Likes 11 Dislikes 2

More like cantbeleiver price

4 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

Underrated comment.

4 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

Maybe it is sentient?

4 years ago | Likes 5 Dislikes 0

4 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

That kind of umbrella will set you back $500-2000 at Lowes or Home Depot

4 years ago | Likes 7 Dislikes 1

Try, like $160, and those come with lights on the umbrella.

4 years ago | Likes 5 Dislikes 2

For $160 it's going to be a real piece of shit, though.

4 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

It's made out of titanium and copper AND performs oral.

4 years ago | Likes 69 Dislikes 4

...i think I can fit that on my credit card

4 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

Well shit, why the fuck didn't they say so? The copper alone justifies the price, the oral is just a bonus!

4 years ago | Likes 15 Dislikes 2

Base and Protective Cover sold separately .... LMFAO

4 years ago | Likes 344 Dislikes 0

Been taking notes from Apple. It’s for the environment, you fucks.

4 years ago | Likes 21 Dislikes 0

Beat me to the punch

4 years ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 0

Because people are willing to pay for it. It's the same with flagship phones. Samsung s series phones used to be under 500 bucks,

4 years ago | Likes 10 Dislikes 1

And jumped to a grand because they know their fan base is willing to pay for it. The same with Apple.

4 years ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 1

Oh look it is the 'apple pricing guy' again.

4 years ago | Likes 5 Dislikes 1

Clearly, she's not a member

4 years ago | Likes 109 Dislikes 2

of the eat the poor club?

4 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

I grew up on a private island, it’s all status mostly for vain and foolish people

4 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

That private island was Haiti, Mr. Duvalier?

4 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

I'm not. I think i made a little more than $9000, last year. Like, the whole fucking year.

4 years ago | Likes 30 Dislikes 0

Plot twist: This is an Ad and you sold just one umbrella

4 years ago | Likes 24 Dislikes 1

Got 'em!

4 years ago | Likes 5 Dislikes 0

4 years ago | Likes 7 Dislikes 1

4 years ago | Likes 5 Dislikes 1

Probably cost them less than $100 to make it.

4 years ago | Likes 21 Dislikes 2

$100 to make it, $100 to ship it and $9100 to write bullshit ad copy for it.

4 years ago | Likes 5 Dislikes 0

I think this design is licensed out by an engineering firm, so it might actually cost much more to just purchase the license

4 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 2

Key point, it’s marine grade. In a saltwater environment, that should stand up. Marine grade is never cheap.

4 years ago | Likes 13 Dislikes 5

Yeah, stainless steel doesn't cost that much. Maybe $4000 for everything, but $9000 for just part of the complete product is asinine.

4 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

I'd happily pay 50 quid every couple of years against 11 grand for a glorified parasol.

4 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

Even the other high-priced umbrellas, like these, are under $3000. Still too much, IMO, but maybe it's worth it to some people.

4 years ago | Likes 10 Dislikes 1

What’s your next great reveal? BMWs are expensive? Judging people for spending money is the dumbest way to go through your life.

4 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 2

Is it one of the personal flying models perhaps? v

4 years ago | Likes 18 Dislikes 1

“I’m Mary Poppins, yall!”

4 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

Wheeeee!!!!!

4 years ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 0

I love how instead of letting go he gets on like”see ya suckers!!”

4 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

Ridiculously overpriced everyday items are made purely because rich people get off on the fact they can afford it.

4 years ago | Likes 108 Dislikes 0

Anything not mass produced is ridiculously overpriced. People forget how much shit used to cost appliances used to be BIFL cause $$$$$$$$$$$

4 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

True - in Economics, they are known as snob goods.

4 years ago | Likes 8 Dislikes 0

and or money laundering.

4 years ago | Likes 9 Dislikes 1

Or just don't care if that thing costs a few hundred or a few thousand bucks, because it makes no difference to them.

4 years ago | Likes 5 Dislikes 0

Or don't know the difference.

4 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Sometimes it also happens because algorithmic pricing system goes haywire.

4 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

Say what?

4 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

People program computers to set prices just slightly lower or slightly higher then the competition. sometimes 2 get in a race. or a bug.

4 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

I just find that gross. And ironically, classless.

4 years ago | Likes 40 Dislikes 3

"Gross and classless" is the definition of Bourgeoisie. Wasting money just to demonstrate they can.

4 years ago | Likes 5 Dislikes 0

I was gifted a Gucci wallet so I use it. But I kind of feel like a douche every time I pull it out...

4 years ago | Likes 7 Dislikes 0

That's not THAT bad. There's nothing wrong with getting nice things. It's when ppl pay exorbitant prices JUST b/c they can, that's shitty.

4 years ago | Likes 8 Dislikes 0

You only pay $9K for an umbrella, so you can tell people you spent $9K on an umbrella. It's like bragging about your IQ. Cringey.

4 years ago | Likes 8 Dislikes 0

i think "marine grade" refers to the inflated price, a la military contract.

4 years ago | Likes 192 Dislikes 7

Generally it means there is a lot of stainless hardware involved

4 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

Marine grade only refers to materials that can handle an ocean environment. Not military.

4 years ago | Likes 44 Dislikes 1

And means nothing if not designed correctly. Seen many marine grade fasteners in dissimilar metals which causes them to corrode

4 years ago | Likes 5 Dislikes 0

“Marine grade” is a hole, some liquor/beer, and an STD the next morning.

4 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

This is for the yacht club, not the deck apes.

4 years ago | Likes 15 Dislikes 0

Excuse me, they're referred to as "the Help". We all are.

4 years ago | Likes 12 Dislikes 0

its made out of the stretched scrotal skin of genuine US marines

4 years ago | Likes 50 Dislikes 0

You see all the crayons make their skin perfectly waterproof.

4 years ago | Likes 10 Dislikes 0

this is the meta on meta reference I come for

4 years ago | Likes 8 Dislikes 0

Some tier 3 level shit right

4 years ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 0

Semper fit

4 years ago | Likes 19 Dislikes 0

Semper fuck

4 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

"Marine grade" is an instant 3x multiplier. Source: love sailing. To say the truth, marine grade stuffs are REALLY awesome.

4 years ago | Likes 5 Dislikes 0

I dont sail, but I LOVE west marine for hardware and electrical. Only place I can find adhesive lined heatshrink.

4 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

If I’m paying 9 grand plus for an umbrella it better withstand a cat 5 hurricane and not topple in 25 mph winds

4 years ago | Likes 11 Dislikes 0

Oh it'll withstand it but it'll punch an umbrella shaped hole through your house.

4 years ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 1

"Tactical-weapons grade steel"

4 years ago | Likes 5 Dislikes 0

I’ll buy that for a dollar

4 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Who on earth wants a weponised parasol? Other then the Penguin of course..

4 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

*ring ring* It's Chuck Greene for you Sir

4 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 1

(couldn't find a parasol gif he does use one but this will have to do)

4 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 1

Hahahaha...fuck, I was WAY off:

4 years ago | Likes 862 Dislikes 8

Why are you advertising for free? This is spam.

4 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 3

But think about how much you're saving!!

4 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

The whole setup is $400 at home Depot.

4 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

$2k+ for this is still stupidly expensive. I could probably build one out of scrap metal using a welding torch.

4 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Wtffff

4 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

There's a lot of rich people out there that buy expensive stuff (that actually costs the same as regular stuff) just because it's expensive.

4 years ago | Likes 11 Dislikes 0

I know. It's tacky and gross. Millennials need to kill conspicuous consumption, next.

4 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

4 years ago | Likes 11 Dislikes 1

You rang?

4 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

Maybe the whole thing is a money laundering scheme

4 years ago | Likes 11 Dislikes 0

This is actually a great point, or tax evasion from the seller who claims big losses when no one buys them?

4 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

lol

4 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

But its not in the middle

4 years ago | Likes 13 Dislikes 0

It’s a cantilever parasol so the pole has to offset to one side.

4 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Wow that's a ridiculously expensive umbrella. If it has a lifetime guarantee it may be worth it...

4 years ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 0

Not quite - it's a 5-year limited manufacturer's warranty, on some of the parts. So, you know - a quality product.

4 years ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 0

look being wrong on the details doesn’t mean we can’t shit on rich people that shop at Wayfair

4 years ago | Likes 6 Dislikes 1

This same type of umbrella is $160 on Wayfair.

4 years ago | Likes 8 Dislikes 0

So this is an apple product.

4 years ago | Likes 316 Dislikes 3

One day you'll wake up with holes in the unbrella because your device needs an update and can't support the latest os

4 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

Basically.

4 years ago | Likes 48 Dislikes 0

And fucking Eve keeps eating that Apple, that's why they stay in business.

4 years ago | Likes 10 Dislikes 0

If Apple made umberellas

4 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

How much is the rarified air that I'll need to breathe while under this umbrella?

4 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

$17/4oz. bottle

4 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

Why the fuck is the base $2600... Wtf is it made of...

4 years ago | Likes 122 Dislikes 0

It's to stop the poors from getting one so your friends know you're rich when you buy one.

4 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

They put the price high monitor interest through site logins and cookies, then targeted advertise "heavily discounted prices"

4 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Cocaine

4 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Solid gold?

4 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Apple products

4 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Poor people bones ground up and compressed back together

4 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Poor people

4 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

condensed tears of minimum wage workers

4 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

The bones and skin of normal people.

4 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

It'd have to be something pretty damn heavy to balance the umbrella

4 years ago | Likes 32 Dislikes 0

The solidified tears of us plebians

4 years ago | Likes 6 Dislikes 0

So sand or concrete.

4 years ago | Likes 20 Dislikes 1

Lead would also work fine and cost far less than what ever they are charging.

4 years ago | Likes 13 Dislikes 0

100% base harvest from organic base.

4 years ago | Likes 12 Dislikes 0

It's humans.

4 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

Always has been.

4 years ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 0

Sounds like a nice way for the mob to launder money.

4 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

My last employer had 3 picnic tables on the patio, each worth about $17k. Not even permanently attached or secured. (1

4 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

2) https://shadescapesamericas.com/products/extremis-hopper/ then add the additional roll up sunshade. Pretty bad when the website shows

4 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

3) everyone in a winery dressed up as Pacific NW urban loggers.

4 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0