RamonaQ
75278
1241
60
Jul 4, 2017 8:39 PM
RamonaQ
75278
1241
60
MattTimesTwenty
Some of these are more expensive that buying an opener from Dollar general
yourhandsarebananas
Yes because you're much more likely to have a blow torch than a $2 corkscrew ????
DanTheDane
Or you know if you're without any tools just push the cork into the bottle with your fingers.
Thismuchistrue
Repetitapup
blarglebrle
Use a screw not a nail to avoid breaking the bottle or pushing in the cork.
BayazTheBenevolent
Life hacks for alcoholics that can't afford a corkscrew.
PornhubsFirstTree
Buy wine with screw off cap.
TheMapleKindYeah
In that last one, thought the guy was holding a duck. Scared the shit out of me for a second.
TooTiredToMasturbate
They have these things out there called corkscrews...
Theguywhoruinseverything
Wine hack buy a bottle opener or steal your mates
ienjoymoonlight
When I was at uni we just used to get like a pen or something and just push the cork in. Seems a lot easier that all this fanfare
Goldenbeer
For real. If I don't have a bottle opener, then I sure as shit don't have all that other stuff just laying about.
illogicalphallusies
or...push the cork into the wine...
MrMcGeeIn3D
Once I saw I wino eating grapes and I was like "Dude, you have to wait...".
bpowl518
My fake plants died because I did not pretend to water them
RamonaQ
Was it Ned?
WitchTrialz
I'm against picketing but I don't know how to show it.....
pureweiner
So you're telling me I have a better chance of having a doorknob than a bottle opener
vitaminRmademefat
Based off quality of wines in gifs, they mean "alcoholic" not "wine lover."
BigDamnHeroOfCanton
*survival skills for alcoholics.
zenmaster11
WSilvermane
If you cant use the proper tool for this, you have a problem and are an idiot. This has nothing to do with taste.
Casparrr
There's not that many corks anymore.
KimboDiddleyDoo
I'm just shocked that Fiskars makes machetes. I really thought they only made scissors.
becausebugeye
Not a stretch. Both are sharp pieces of metal. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
Cliodhna
Man, me to!
Thesaya
Scissors, knives, saws, axes...
fkngimpurfect
They make garden shears and shit too.
shawndmatheson4
InboxMeYourBirds
Blowtorch... who wants warm wine? And in what situation would a blowtorch be the best solution?
RaginaPhelangy
I once stabbed myself in the head opening my mums bottle of wine
beataroundthebush
RaginaPhelangy
I don't know how to explain, but it went in, nice and deeplike
mdzmdz
Enough about what you did with your drunk Mum, how did you get the wine open?
thatsmyidentifier
yay 2 buck Chuck!
MondayMooseMemes
Yea i'd rather not commit seppuku with a fucking drywall knife for some wine
bilateralunsymmetry
You obviously don't live wine enough
GraysonSwigert
The butane torch was pretty clever. I wouldn't have thought of that.
FlatPlutoSociety
Why go to the trouble of using the torch to open the wine bottle when you can just huff the butane instead?
GraysonSwigert
I can't argue with this logic
Keairan
fuck up the wine, though, if it's supposed to be chilled or even remotely close to not boiling.
HoldMeCloserPhiTauDancer
Thank you, someone said it. That was the one where I ????????. I hope that was cheap wine, cuz it's going to taste like ????
Qj00t
All my bottles of wine have a screw top...
dunkyclone
I like the kind that comes in a box/bag with a nozzle.
WilhelmvonGarlic
Goon!
Hindenburgh
All of these, all of them. Are so fucking stupid. Just get an opener...
LeDonoMkIV
Scenario: You don't have an opener. You thought bottle was screw top. It's not. You're half drunk, can't drive to the shops. You Thirsty boy
Hindenburgh
Or, you could have just gotten an actual drink other than alcoholic grape juice? Or you could drink anything else that actually tastesgood
LeDonoMkIV
Wow. Found the 14 year old, and unlike wine, you don't get better with age
Hindenburgh
nah, whine legit is shit. ive tasted, and tried, and was open with it all, but it tastes like bitter weird grape juice. (1/
Hindenburgh
maybe its cause i dislike grapes? but every whine ive had, din not taste even remotely good. also fuck you, wine is weird, kony 2012, memes
Imperialreign
When did a VW qualify as a "race car?"
Buttholium
Maybe he's racing to get that wine open :)
JacobCLegge
Rice car*
DisUsernameAmsDildos
http://www.racecar-engineering.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/02/upveedub.jpg
CallMeSleeper
Just because it's German doesn't mean that you have to bring up race
6thDegreeKevinBacon
When it's a VW Golf Cabernet
CptVolkow
I don't know, why?
BingoBangoBoom
two words: Baja Bug.
Imperialreign
Isnt that a camel spider?
BingoBangoBoom
/a/3l75R
Delta2279
Since NASCARs were found to be more fuel efficient.
absolutezero182
When the germans started building it, it became the car of the master race
nickcagefreechickens
It only qualifies as a race car because they accidentally spelled it backwards.
caunphety
Shit starts getting a little wonky when you're running at a 27% arterial laceration rate
Neogreenyew
Vroom Wagon
approvalguy
That's the B5.5 model VW Passat, it can in a 4WD V6 as well and a W12 as a test for the Veyron. It is no joke.
Imperialreign
Neither was the supercharged cobalt ss, a wagon is a wagon regardless
approvalguy
I spose. I like my wagon though.
FrankMastrBulge
Have you not seen the first fast and furious
Tyfu
Too soon Jr.
Imperialreign
They were all furious cause their cars weren't fast...
tinnerz58
If it was say a Golf R stripped down for track usage it absolutely would be but a Passat/Bora? Yeah nah
Imperialreign
That's still like saying a cobalt ss or focus is a race car... and just... no.
brianpmcmillan
Ummm, have you ever watched the Gymkhana videos?
tinnerz58
You've clearly never been in one, trust me on this the R is in a league of its own ;)
hognhominy
I will never forget the look on people's faces when my customer lined up against a c7z06, 10s in a Golf... lol
Imperialreign
Clearly have been and still just... no... Not once youve been behind the wheel of a 1400hp strip/street car
pirate4lifes
Well if you use it to race, technically is a race car even of it loses.
IDontLoveBigButtsButIDontHateThemEither
I have a race tractor
Imperialreign
Im gonna go warm up my moped!
karvec
You mean your race moped
TojS
I love watching me some drag moped racing
OkNowKith