GngrbrdMan
89607
1474
93
Imagine if we were alone in the universe...
Jul 12, 2017 8:10 PM
GngrbrdMan
89607
1474
93
Imagine if we were alone in the universe...
MemeDissector
TIL: Aliens are cunts
jackrupley
Good post.
nickooze
I AM SENTIENT MEAT!
greendragon2656
Oh hey look, my English study focus
TheDreaded1
Funny, when I flap my meat at someone I just end up on XVideos
Harryurhandsrfreezing
BaphometBarista
Wait. Isn't there a short film with this as the script? Ben Bailey and Tom Noonan are in it. I think.
BaphometBarista
Yup. https://youtu.be/gaFZTAOb7IE
hiiamrune
Why is this tagged as gaming though?
Winstitutionalized
Get some Larry Niven in your life. His short story collections are in this same vein.
clh101
So time for terry pratchet?
Illuminado
https://youtu.be/7tScAyNaRdQ
RunningWaterMonster
.
Green0Giant
.
stickyourproblemsupyourbum
Kabe59
Cool, but when I slap my meat around, I end up in a register
AskMeIfImFunAtParties
I remember reading this in 8th grade and giggling the whole time.
OobedoobScoobyDoobyBenubi
https://m.popkey.co/879bef/K98zm.gif
Dispari
"Omigod, meat is so icky." -supposedly intelligent aliens
QBE2311
"Like, I know we're supposed to be fair, but discrimination is so much easier on my non-meat mind!" - prettier speciesist robots
Emriys
The "Omigod" always ruins this for me.
LaTransDragon
Reminds me of the theory that Earth is like the slow kid that nobody wants to talk to.
Justalobstercowboy
Credit where credit is due, author Terry Bisson, first appeared in OMNI magazine in 1990
1ebowski
I slapped my meat on a robot to type this
dontKnowDontCare87
This deserves more likes than it's getting
DarthHobo123
I beat my meat to this
stinkyfist
I laughed like a maniac when I read this. Thank you.
ConchoidalFracture
th3grimlin
I feel if this were to happen, you'd end up in a Warhammer 40K type universe.
Solid5outof7
I chuckled at "they always come around"
Ronelyn
Terry Bisson is the author. His short fiction rocks my damn world.
aqnavi
.
andWOW
.
ScumOfTheSea
.
GngrbrdMan
Thanks for sharing! Will definitely have to look him/her up.
KismetCrew
Here's a link to this story on his site: http://www.terrybisson.com/page6/page6.html
LovecraftianHugz
THANK YOU!!
HolyHoudini
"Ohmigod"
mitch2161998
"Two possibilities exist: either we are alone in the Universe or we are not. Both are equally terrifying." Arthur C. Clarke
Killertortilla
However it is infinitely less likely that we are alone. Given the laws of probability apply.
SextusPompeiusMagnusPius
Definitely not "infinitely". I think you're underestimating how difficult it is for self-replicating organisms to form purely by chance.
Killertortilla
Even f it's 1 in a billion per planet, there are trillions upon trillions of potential planets out there
GngrbrdMan
A brilliant man indeed. Great Author.
Tnhncncnt
Great Arthur*
GngrbrdMan
Killertortilla
Cute, but if they know what meat is then they have creatures made of meat.
Regdor
So where do they get their meat from? Do they straight up make it or what? Never had conscious meat before? Pft.
garykillerxtreme
Right? Why is nobody else asking this question
BraughtGurst
I kind of assumed they were machines or something, so they probably wouldn't need meat
Regdor
Yeah but how do they know what it is? Have they only been exposed to unconscious meat?
BraughtGurst
Well they mention 2 other species that are made of some parts meat but not all the way through
LovecraftianHugz
The first time I read this, I honestly had to stop and think whether there was any kind of life form on earth that isn't made of meat.
queencute
Maybe a jellyfish? Is that just jelly meat?
LovecraftianHugz
Google says they are a "jelly-like substance" but they don't think.
queencute
Things don't have to think to be a life form, though. Bacteria and junk. Jelly meat for all!!
LovecraftianHugz
Yeah, sorry. I forgot what my original point was.
DontAskMeAboutMyUsernameOkay
I feel like sentient life that could travel to our world, and scan our world from some remote ass location, would have an understand of bio.
Thephedora
and probably understand how horrificly homicidal we are.
RocketSurgeryBrainScience
That's your meat based intuition telling you that
pinatafarmer
I like that, it sounds like a line from a Vonnegut novel
kapp70
Wasn't he the bees knees? I never read one book of his that I didn't love. From Player Piano to Suckers Portfolio.
App1eJu1ce
My thoughts exactly. I stopped reading a quarter of the way through because it was just getting silly.
DrHotdogs
I kept reading cause it was silly
issaidnotnow
Let people enjoy things
DontAskMeAboutMyUsernameOkay
http://i0.kym-cdn.com/entries/icons/original/000/007/423/RageFace.jpg
DavidBrooker
I think the idea is our form of biology is very rare and unusual. Also, it's a joke.
DontAskMeAboutMyUsernameOkay
Harryurhandsrfreezing
DontAskMeAboutMyUsernameOkay
DontAskMeAboutMyUsernameOkay
If anything; aliens wouldn't have a term for our flesh, because they probably haven't experienced it before. And if they did, would they 1/2
DontAskMeAboutMyUsernameOkay
really be calling us the same exact name we give flesh (tho 'meat' is more directed towards food)?
blazebot4200
I mean they speak English so what the hell other word would they use
experiencemike
You made me laugh way too hard for being on the shitter in public.
aethoneagle
They have a point, that's for fucking sure
r1ch999999
Who says we're even alone on this planet? Do you think ants have any clue we exist, that the farms they live in are for our enjoyment?
GngrbrdMan
Just because they don't know we exist, that doesn't mean we are alone in the literal sense. If that is indeed the case.
HD226868
Ants can observe the effects of humans. Observe pavements, and sudden upheavals, and have no explanation for them. We observe nothing such.
r1ch999999
Do you think an ant crosses the road and says 'Man, who built this road?' or do you think that's just part of the landscape?
Rivalyn
"What is this vast swath of stone that is not stone? It was not here last season."
HD226868
No, but when you can find other explanations for the landscape, there's no need.
NInjaQuarrior
We are sentient and aware. Ants are not.
r1ch999999
who's to say that we're sentient and aware at the same level as superior species/aliens?
HD226868
Exactly.