Can we bring back Story Time Jesus?

Oct 18, 2014 3:34 PM

CinemaSloths

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418716

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8190

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211

*you're

As a pretty conservative Christian, bout time!

11 years ago | Likes 6 Dislikes 2

Its funny to know that if jesus would travel to the US he would get randomly selected for looking like an arab.

11 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

+1 because everyone else is starting their comments with +1

11 years ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 1

Yahweh definitely went over the heads of a lot if people. Yahweh was a name for God in the Old Testament

11 years ago | Likes 7 Dislikes 1

Is that... Ben Affleck?

11 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 1

...can't unsee.

11 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

The right form of your was used, you dunce.

11 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

i felt like i was taking crazy pills for a second. i read the sentence like ten times

11 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

#3 #4 #5 #7 John 8: 3-11, John 13: 18-30, Matthew 4: 1-11 and Matthew 26:26 respectively

11 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

Not even Jesus gets your/you're correct.

11 years ago | Likes 6 Dislikes 1

"I got this shit" Mark 8:00:85

11 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

+1 for Yahweh pun

11 years ago | Likes 2025 Dislikes 17

Good Scot these people are going straight to hell. But it's going to be funny there.

11 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

+1 for +1 for the Yahweh pun.

11 years ago | Likes 8 Dislikes 1

+1 for the +1 of the +1

11 years ago | Likes 5 Dislikes 0

It's Yahweh or the highway

11 years ago | Likes 43 Dislikes 0

Arab on Radar!

11 years ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 0

+1 for OP correcting himself "*you're"

11 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

-1 for "your"

11 years ago | Likes 10 Dislikes 6

Then he/she/it gave a "*you're" to one of the pictures that correctly used your.

11 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

666 points. I want to upvote but can't

11 years ago | Likes 16 Dislikes 1

Jesus looks like Ben Affleck

11 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

Baby, the South is the home of super churches. They're too good for tents.

9 years ago | Likes 11 Dislikes 0

The ones with bible citations are best.

11 years ago | Likes 30 Dislikes 3

+1 for Mark 8:00:85

11 years ago | Likes 30 Dislikes 3

oh... i get it. lol kinda funny

11 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

+1 for actually capturing the spirit of Jesus's teachings

11 years ago | Likes 542 Dislikes 17

Better than most people I know. I live in the southeast USA btw... we count churches per-capita down here.

11 years ago | Likes 47 Dislikes 1

Pdffft. I'm in northern IL, There are 10 churches within a mile of my house.

11 years ago | Likes 5 Dislikes 0

I imagine all churches in the south to be exactly like those in True Detective

11 years ago | Likes 7 Dislikes 0

Baby, the South is the home of super churches. They're too good for tents.

11 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

Throwing this out there, but the "your" on #5 is fine.

11 years ago | Likes 14 Dislikes 1

Love these

11 years ago | Likes 32 Dislikes 3

+0 Because I like the post but incorrect correction of "your" with "you're"

11 years ago | Likes 10 Dislikes 2

#6

11 years ago | Likes 8 Dislikes 2

Happy Easter!

11 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Thanks, that was the one I made for the gallery

11 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

*pats back*

11 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

Reminds me of

11 years ago | Likes 113 Dislikes 10

lovely

11 years ago | Likes 8 Dislikes 0

TIL everyone in the middle east 2000 years ago was white, except for that one black kid.

11 years ago | Likes 7 Dislikes 1

Actual Cohenim Priest 3400 yr documented lineage.

11 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 1

Jews have always been white, Jesus was Jewish, not arab. See Jerry Seinfeld for example, or maybe John Stewart.

11 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 1

Jewish is a religion and doesnt dictate skin color. Here's what the average male looked like during that time

11 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

As a Christian, I can verify that these are 100% biblically sound.

11 years ago | Likes 10 Dislikes 2

I am hoping to hear at least one of these used in a Sunday sermon...

11 years ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 1

As someone currently training to be a pastor, I can promise you this will happen.

11 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

Great!- Good luck in your chosen profession...keep it light and you'll keep your flock!

11 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

BUT THAT WAS THE RIGHT "YOUR"

11 years ago | Likes 640 Dislikes 4

Jimmies so rustled when I saw the correction.

11 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Yeah, that drove me nuts. Over zealous zealot..

11 years ago | Likes 17 Dislikes 0

Whoops, wrong description. I got it fixed, thanks.

11 years ago | Likes 5 Dislikes 0

I think they meant the last one and things got out of order.

11 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

And then they didn't correct the "your" in the last picture.

11 years ago | Likes 34 Dislikes 0

i felt like i was taking crazy pills for a second. i read the sentence like ten times

11 years ago | Likes 35 Dislikes 0

I literally went back through each of them trying to find what it was correcting, figuring it was in the wrong spot.

11 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Maybe referring to the last imagr

11 years ago | Likes 7 Dislikes 0

Damn. Last image but things gpt mixed up.

11 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

the struggle is real for you right now

11 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

So real. You couldn't possibly understand.

11 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

I am glad I was not the only one.

11 years ago | Likes 74 Dislikes 1

I saw the *you're and I started going insane because I'm still pretty sure OP was serious

11 years ago | Likes 10 Dislikes 0

I think he meant to correct the final one and did it in the wrong place

11 years ago | Likes 5 Dislikes 0

Let's hope that was it.

11 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

"The Romans didn't like what I was saying, so they decided to get cross with me."

11 years ago | Likes 86 Dislikes 4

It wasn't his teachings. It was the temple smashing that led to his crucifixion. The Jews were the only conquered people allowed to keep 1/2

11 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 1

Their religion. To keep this agreement going the temple paid massive tributes to Rome and the priests were usually very close with roman 2/3

11 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Leadership. To defile the temple was an act of sedition against Rome. So, he ded.

11 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Imagine if Jesus died by lethal injection or the electric chair. People would wearing chairs and/or syringes around their necks.

11 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

Well the cross doesn't have to do anything with Jesus's death its more of a practice that was put in place long after his death

11 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Actually, it was the Jews.

11 years ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 2

Actually, it was both. Jews didn't like his religious ideas, Romans were afraid of a revolution.

11 years ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 1

Yes, in a way. But even the Roman governor of Judea, Pontius Pilate, wanted to let Jesus go free and "washed his hands" on the subject.

11 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Did not know Jesus was StonerBro. +1

11 years ago | Likes 19 Dislikes 4

Very many martyrs got stoned. In fact, in the OT, Nebuchadnezzar was on nothing but grass for seven years!

11 years ago | Likes 8 Dislikes 0

More people need to understand this. +1

11 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

+1 for hilarious and basically accurate

11 years ago | Likes 540 Dislikes 9

We need the bible translated this way.

11 years ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 0

Hysterically accurate, historically, not so much :)

11 years ago | Likes 6 Dislikes 11

Or believe that it's historically accurate... which is incredibly incredibly improbable.

11 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 5

11 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 1

Except the white Jesus and the black kid

11 years ago | Likes 6 Dislikes 1

Jesus could have been white (probably not). He also could have been black(more likely than white)

11 years ago | Likes 5 Dislikes 1

Like Santa he was all colors.

11 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

but he was most likely native american

11 years ago | Likes 6 Dislikes 2

I stay true to my belief that he was Russian.

11 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0