Florida man!

Oct 24, 2017 3:07 PM

I did not have sexual relations with that armidillo

8 years ago | Likes 7 Dislikes 0

Florida is not abbreviated FA, it is FL...

8 years ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 1

Florida is FL, not FA.

8 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 1

Dr James H. Potter?

5 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Couldn’t read past Doctor James H. Potter

8 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 1

Florida man doing what he does best.

8 years ago | Likes 7 Dislikes 1

What did the leper say to the prostitute? Keep the tip

8 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 1

No source nor posting the sites name? Gonna call fake.

8 years ago | Likes 16 Dislikes 0

Those who have never had sexual relations with sweet armadillo pussy may cast thee first stone

8 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 1

God why wasn't this an episode of House!

8 years ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 0

Obligatory Twilight comparison

8 years ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 1

I activate my spell card!

8 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 1

8 years ago | Likes 11 Dislikes 0

didn't you read it? an armadillo is "what" the fuck

8 years ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 0

James Potter you say....

8 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 1

8 years ago | Likes 12 Dislikes 1

Florida is the physical embodiment of Poe's Law. I can completely see this as being either satire OR real.

8 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

Fun fact: armadillos are the only non human. host to the leprosy bacteria

8 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

9 recent cases? Were they all banging armadillos?

8 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 1

could happen to anyone really

8 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

@OP fineass cropping, but where's the damn sauce?

8 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

Sorry, how? Literally how is it physically possible?

8 years ago | Likes 7 Dislikes 0

Honestly I don't think it is, since this is taken off of a satire website.

8 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Asking for a friend?

8 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 1

8 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

I don't even care when they are fake, like this obviously. Florida man stories crack me up every time.

8 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 1

Oh god, there are people taking this seriously. It's from World Net Daily, guys.

8 years ago | Likes 72 Dislikes 1

Much more reliable than the main stream media though. Personally i consult the parson when he starts speaking in tongues, or Hannity.

8 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 8

yes, but... Florida.

8 years ago | Likes 10 Dislikes 1

While the sex with the poor critter may be fake, Armadillos DO carry Leprosy. So, handling them is not a good idea.

8 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

This is precisely why we can't have nice things.

8 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 1

I’m going w/fake. Reputable sites talk about the increase of leprosy from armadillos due to overdevelopment. Less reputable ones have this

8 years ago | Likes 49 Dislikes 2

maybe the armadillo had overdeveloped boobs.

8 years ago | Likes 5 Dislikes 1

[deleted]

[deleted]

8 years ago (deleted May 9, 2024 7:40 PM) | Likes 0 Dislikes 0

I think there is. It's west of Sanford. I work at that hospital actually. Haven't heard of this patient though..

8 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

An unincorporated area perhaps? They would've just used the nearest large city, if their intention was to attract readers.

8 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

All I'm going to say as a floridite is that there is at least one person in this god forsaken state that has figured out how to F*K amardilo

8 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

And yes I know grammar. Fuck you

8 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

So much for all that protection armadillos supposedly carry with them.

8 years ago | Likes 171 Dislikes 2

Eh, carrying armored plates and leprosy isn't enough, lol?

8 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

8 years ago | Likes 25 Dislikes 0

Aren't you less likely to have sex with an armadillo AFTER reading this? I'd call that protection.

8 years ago | Likes 8 Dislikes 0

INdeed. Cross that off the bucket list. Damnit.

8 years ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 0

?fb

8 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

v

8 years ago | Likes 1270 Dislikes 9

I saved that gif for any convenient future moment where I feel like I should shun Florida.

8 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

A visual metaphor for the treatment he was given

8 years ago | Likes 27 Dislikes 0

And no one would complain really

8 years ago | Likes 8 Dislikes 0

Source

8 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

Bugs! Can you get us an RFP on the doing California next?

8 years ago | Likes 7 Dislikes 7

I think San Andres fault line will take care of itself eventually.

8 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

Dis is mine now

8 years ago | Likes 12 Dislikes 1

Anyone else notice that the doctor's name is James Potter?

8 years ago | Likes 341 Dislikes 5

Fake News!

8 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

His middle name also starts with an "H" i wander what is could be. I don't know maybe HARRY!!!!

8 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

I hope he's working his magic

8 years ago | Likes 7 Dislikes 0

yup yup

8 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

It was one of his sons classmates and he tries to blame it on florida man

8 years ago | Likes 6 Dislikes 0

I was about to make that comment myself. You stole my thunder

8 years ago | Likes 5 Dislikes 0

Did some Google sleuthing. The story originated on World News Daily Report. A satire news site.

8 years ago | Likes 12 Dislikes 0

James H Potter...

8 years ago | Likes 64 Dislikes 0

beat me to it. also if the H. stands for Harry....

8 years ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 0

Yeah... Florida isn't abbreviated FA

8 years ago | Likes 21 Dislikes 0

Scrolled down just to see if anyone caught that

8 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

thanks i was thinking this was a list of some knew armadilla sex craze

8 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

thinking they ment PA... is that a news outlet for real that doesnt know FL?

8 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Fake News! ????

8 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

To be fair, it was a pretty sexy armadillo.

8 years ago | Likes 559 Dislikes 7

8 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

ikr?

8 years ago | Likes 5 Dislikes 0

8 years ago | Likes 45 Dislikes 2

It was wearing a thong

8 years ago | Likes 5 Dislikes 1

That one in the article is, obvs. But that's probably a stock image of a model armadillo.

8 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

I think they are called sexadillos

8 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

8 years ago | Likes 13 Dislikes 0

*armadildo

8 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

8 years ago | Likes 19 Dislikes 0

Now I know why they are so good at boxing.

8 years ago | Likes 7 Dislikes 0

Obligatory image of said Armadillo: https://img00.deviantart.net/1cad/i/2004/162/b/4/its_not_chalo_its_chali.jpg

8 years ago | Likes 12 Dislikes 2

4/10 Not enough rolling into a ball

8 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

v

8 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

8 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Why I thought I would see the actual armadillo the second time around I have no idea..

8 years ago | Likes 6 Dislikes 0

My man.

8 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

Why do they say "sex with an armadillo" like that's a normal thing. This weirdo raped an armadillo, call it how it is.

8 years ago | Likes 993 Dislikes 34

In all fairness, in the animal kingdom, consent is relatively rare. Also, probably a fake story, but hey.

8 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

I read the story a long time ago. I think the kid had learning disabilities and stuff. He was a bit off. Still...no excuse for bestiality

8 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Animals can be wanting sex also in a species confused way but beastility is still against the law.

8 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

How do you know the armadillo didn't like it?

8 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Oh so you're speaking for the Amarillo now?

8 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Now that's some Plain Speak if I ever heard it.

8 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

And *frequently*. They knew it too. It's just so...Florida

8 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

how do you even...is there a hole big enough? i have so many questions

8 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

They said the man was relatively shy though. What if the armadillo seduced him.

8 years ago | Likes 13 Dislikes 1

It was consensual

8 years ago | Likes 9 Dislikes 6

“He was very fond of the little critter“

8 years ago | Likes 20 Dislikes 0

Female Floridian Armadillo can just shut that right down.

8 years ago | Likes 6 Dislikes 0

Did the armadillo say "no" though?

8 years ago | Likes 14 Dislikes 2

Yea, but did you see what that armadillo was wearing??

8 years ago | Likes 389 Dislikes 13

v

8 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Look how sensitive people are... downvoting a joke about a sexy armadillo dressing like a slut

8 years ago | Likes 8 Dislikes 3

Lol

8 years ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 3

Totally asking for it.

8 years ago | Likes 50 Dislikes 5

What if the armadillo was into that sort of thing? Don't you judge its sexual devours.

8 years ago | Likes 25 Dislikes 3

THANK YOU! That’s fucking animal abuse, I hope his goddamn dick falls off and that he suffers greatly and slowly dies in great pain.

8 years ago | Likes 37 Dislikes 27

With leprosy in the pubic region, dick falling off is just the beginning.

8 years ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 2

So You say it's just the tip?

8 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

To the contrary, he is balls deep in trouble.

8 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

It's satire

8 years ago | Likes 12 Dislikes 2

Sounds more like sadism, but Poe's Law means it is hard to know if the commenter was sick enough to truly wish that on someone.

8 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 1

I Googled it after I left my comment, it’s not satire, it’s in 3-4 different links, one is a science site. It’s apparently not uncommon

8 years ago | Likes 7 Dislikes 6

That....that is terrifying.

8 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 1

To legally qualify as rape, there has to be conditions under which sex with the armadillo would be ok. Rape=sex without consent.

8 years ago | Likes 6 Dislikes 4

that's sounding like the armadillo -did- give consent. yea technically it's probably bestiality, but rape isn't really the wrong word either

8 years ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 0

Aggravated animal abuse but does not meet the LEGAL definition of rape.

8 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 2

i mean yea... but i don't think the average person really cares about the "strict legal definition" here.

8 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

No one ever does.

8 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0