I need to vent somewhere before things get worst. 

Alright, I'm angry and depressed. Might as well do this on a forum where people won't either give a shit or at least understand that things can be shit. There's a long text ahead so if you're not into it, move on.

The last couple months (Nay! Years!) have been a total shit storm for me. I am substitute teacher. I've graduated with my bachelor in education 2 years ago and have been filling in for teachers since then. When I got bachelor degree, the city that I used to live in didn't give a lot of jobs and there was a surplus of substitute teachers. I moved because I was dirt poor. You'd think that a job that pays 200$ per day would be a godsend, but the issue is not the pay, but the amount of days you get. Since that I didn't worked much, I had to move somewhere that would give me work.

When I moved, I got the jobs that I needed to live on. I could pay rent, food, things for my car and many more. Life was getting better. That was until six months ago. Since those last 6 months, I barely got a win and got handed shitty hand by life. If I had a win, it was short lived or a prologue to shittier situation.

I had to move from a good place to a reasonable quality of a home. However, said home contained 4 other roommates. 2 of them are fine. 2 of them were selfish assholes. Asshole number one was a skirt chaser of the extreme kind. If he would get some ass, he wouldn't regret 5 seconds to put you under the bus for it. I told him that I was more interested in relationships. Things got a turn in bizarre country.

Roommate no.1 decided to set me up with girls. The first that he presented to me wanted a relationship and was not into hookups. I thought that I was a bit lucky for once since we clicked pretty easily. However, the girl decided that we should be officially serious after a while. I was happy with it. Except she broke things off 4 days after we declared ourselves this way. Her reasoning that she told me: She was not ready for it. Her real reasoning that I found out later: She had history Asshole number 1. You'd think that I would've learned my lesson. I did not.

Asshole number 1 decided to introduce me to girl no.2. She had a certain spark of life in her and that made me like her easily. Anyway, we clicked. What I didn't know at the time is that my other roommate whom we shall call Asshole number 2 also met her because of Asshole number 1. But let's not go there yet.

After a good weekend with the girl, I bring her back home. The twist? We had a car accident along the way. I didn't see the car coming and I ended up losing my car that I made a ton of repairs on. The girl had a concussion and I was fine physically. Mentally... Pair the car accident with a general anxiety disorder and imagine how I was. I put this girl in danger and my car is gone. I stayed at the hospital and wouldn't leave her side until I knew she was alright. We got out. The day after, she informs me that she still wants something between us.

Queue to two days later*. I text her to ask how she was doing and what she's doing right now. She texts me back that she's with Asshole no.2 in his car. Red alarms are ringing in my head, but I try to play it cool. She says that she's on way to my place. This seems fishy as all hell. Anyway, she "surprises" me. I try to kiss her, but she seemed hesitant. Something was off. We talked for a while and then I had to finish my laundry. I go to the laundry room, but she was gone when I came back. Alarms are off. I text her to know where she is. No response. Now, Asshole number 2's room is right over mine and his bed springs makes a lot of noise. I was furious. I texted her that it was over between us. You'd think that would be the end of it. No...They're now dating. She's always here and I'm disgusted by the sight of her.

You'd think that my problems would end with relationships, but they don't.

Before all this, I noticed that I had less work for some reasons. The amount of substitute teaching dwindle to the point that I make less money than a full-time McDonalds fry-cook. I ask my boss why this is happening. I try to stay professional and not show that I'm desperate. I never got the answer. Money is fine now, but it will go down soon and fast. I'm back to two years ago. Barely enough work to live by. I had a lot of issues moving from the last city since that I left all my friends behind. I moved here and made new ones. I am now facing the possibility of this happening to me again. It made me miserable the first time and I am miserable now.

And when things were bad, they got worst. My mom told us during the holidays that she has cancer. She says that her chances are good. That was a bit of relief, but it still fucking blows you away how this kind of news can hit you.

After all these news and events, I came to the sudden realization that "Shit, no wonder that I'm fucking depressed". I have all the symptoms. Everything points to there. Still, life doesn't want to hand me a fucking break. I just want one month where I feel that things gets better. So far however, I'm more on the brink of going on a full Al Pacino rant mode and curse everyone. I try to see the positive, but I'm not alright.