ImADonut
192553
12391
179
Mar 7, 2016 4:36 PM
ImADonut
192553
12391
179
MisterMeSeeksDeath
"Wait, do I even exist? Ooo look at that!" -mushrooms
ReallyCrazyIvan
No more sadness, just dreams. -- Jaegermeister
hesychasticextrovert
"You're good at beat-boxing" ---bourbon
MachoNacho95
Nice HIMYM reference
GilderoyPopDropNLockart
I don't drink water because fish fuck in it
ilikeblondehair
I don't sleep because sleep is the cousin of death
YouThinkThatsBad
"I don't eat fish. Fish piss in the sea." "So do children." "I don't eat children either."
sunnydelinquent
"Didn't need that tooth anyway." - Meth
yepitsjen
Genius.
SugarSmack
Jeiger bomb:
BigStif42
Jäger*
darastryx
"Get your axe and go cave in that Saxon's face!" - mead
sethgeck0
"Why can't I see anything?" - Moonshine
zytz
This boner lasts until you get sober. Good luck trying to sleep. -gin
BillipTheDog
That persons facial tissue will totally taste like a cheeseburger - bath-salts
tkohl
"Brandy, you're a fine girl, what a good wife you would be..."
johnnyfallen
Absinthe for me is more like let's skip the fun drunk and goto lets see how a railroad spike in my head feels.
Flannels
Remember how your brushed your teeth ten minutes ago? Now you do. -orange juice
heynowjesse
"I am become Death, the Destroyer of Worlds." - Jameson
audreybollella
This really got me. It sure is.
mkonlech
I'm on a diet - Diet Coke
nervesatme
Not you mind my big Mac and large fries
BoozeHound001
"Trust me, you hate being awake." - Everclear
FerretBomb
"The floor is com
SkyePyro
Everclear goes 'tipsy', 'bit drunk', 'kinda drunk', 'somewhat drunk', 'coma'.
Professionalwizard
You enjoy the feeling of all of the moisture being sucked out of your mouth and throat!
Luftewaffle
"We can live beside the ocean. Leave the fire behind." -Everclear
jsd3306
Swim out past the breakers, and watch the world die!
spiritussancto
"oh you have a great alcohol tolerance! it's fine to have another 3 shots" -overproof
Afreeman81
I relate to that spiritually.
BananaStairway
"I bet you can't kick that concrete pole with your shin!!" - Chartreuse
5NoteHalf
My God I LOVE Chartreuse. The green OR the yellow. Video game night with an ounce and a half over three or four ice cubes is PERFECT.
BananaStairway
If that's the ONLY thing you drink. I've drank it a few times now but this 1 time had already been drinking a bit :(
5NoteHalf
Ah! See, yes, following ANY other drink with something that's over 100 proof is a BAD idea.
darkhalfbreed
The tequila is lieing, its actually mezcal.
CoronerCobb
"You can only open temporary distractions, not real happiness." -coke
ireadalotofarticles
This.... This is true.
NanoSwarmer
That hit me right in the feels.
Hangman11
.
Macaroninecklaces
Whoa
JeepFreak1941
That's why I like Pepsi.
GeneralSturgeonWarning
.
APythonCalledMonty
I dunno man, I prefer Pepsi myself
Widgetboy
HiDadImDad
"It's okay. You were cool in the '90s." - Pepsi
RaughInMandarin
http://imgur.com/0O6gJyL
heck9r
nice
Namsuo
+1 for "douchebag imgur quotes"
RaughInMandarin
thank yo.
DraggingDatAsh
There needs to be an album of just "douchebag Imgur quotes"
RaughInMandarin
i try my best.
JamesTotally
"It's been a long time since I threw up. Too long" - Jägermeister
deltajesus
Vodka makes me throw up much more than Jager does.
100314finallymadeitofficial
Yogurt...nostrils...worth it.
yippeekiyay801
"Remember college?"
ThisAccountIsMainlyForUpvoting
Every time I bring Jaeger to the party, someone besides me throws up
ThisAccountIsMainlyForUpvoting
Violently. Like on-the-verge-of-death sick they get.
MaddMind
I got my buddy to do drink Jäger with me since it's may favorite. The next morning he puked up blood while I read a book, perfectly fine.
MaddMind
my* not may >.>
Zeldaluvr2007
Sure you're sober? :P
MaddMind
Also that do didn't need to be there >.> How am I this sober and messing it up?
5NoteHalf
That'd be the Jager.
FuzzyMedic
We ruv you rong time! - sake, probably
5NoteHalf
"WOah! Tokyo is SO PRETTY at NIGHT! Let's take the subwAY and go SOMEWHERE!!!" - Sake's cousin Shochu
FeelMoreLikeIdoRightNowThanIdidAwhileAgo
tomyironmane
Fuck You. - Habu Sake. https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/3/3d/Habushu.jpg
tomyironmane
.... yeah, they sell it in a jar like that and that's an actual habu viper. It's smooth, but it'll sneak up and knock your brains out...
UsernameNotTakenYet
My experience says: "The side-walk is the perfect place to take a short nap."
LArryBass
"You can pillage that town" aquavit
kuemmel
"is that a moose?"
kairbear
As a descendant of the Nordic folk, can say this is 100% accurate
Ajnstajn
Snaps is fucking glorious
spospartan104
http://imgur.com/CNNsUiP also Aquavit is delicious.
iwillknoxdoit
suprised i found this comment but YES!
LoligoTX
Tequila doesn't have a worm. You're thinking of mescal, tequila's cheaper, meaner cousin.
ratfaceddog
Technically, tequila is a type of mezcal.
tomyironmane
Fuck your pussy ass Mexican ditch-water. Real alcohol uses a goddamn viper. https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/3/3d/Habushu.jpg
Kajweket
Tequila is Mezcal.
IrrelativeTheory
I want to +1 for mezcal, but -1 for cheaper, meaner cousin. There are some great tequilas, and they're not cheap.
voxpopulivoxdei
How is Mezcal cheaper? Not by a long shot
JustASlightJingleOfPocketChangePulsing
what? he was saying that Mezcal was the cheaper, meaner cousin...
JustASlightJingleOfPocketChangePulsing
which, like everything else, depends on brand, some aren't that at all
IrrelativeTheory
Aw, I can't read, sorry. Some Mezcal's are good too though.
CornCobMcGee
cheap =/= bad. its only cheaper because its not made in an as small designated area.
MachacaKhan
Tequila is made from blue agave in a very specific region of Mexico, Mezcal can be made from different agave in a number of regions.
MachacaKhan
Quality has nothing to do with the distinction. Mezcal is to tequila what sparkling white wine is to champagne.
LittleRedRotten
Thank you for using an analogy I understand.
ratfaceddog
Agreed. Just like champagne is a type of sparkling white wine, tequila is a type of mezcal. One is a subset of the other, in both cases.
MachacaKhan
A square is a rectangle, but a rectangle is not a square.
IamaMurse
All tequila is mezcal, not all mezcal is tequila.
reflectedsoundofundergroundspirits
What's the deal with the worm? Is it a tradition or what?
novaldemar
It was a very successful marketing ploy. Tequilla / Mezcal can both have it but its more famous for mezcal as it was invented to sell it.
HappyRogue1123
If the tequila was full strength, the worm wouldn't rot at the bottom, so if your worm rotted then you had been ripped off
IrrelativeTheory
It's a fake tradition made up to try to get people to think it was authentic since the worm comes from an agave plant.
Patilistan
Thats quite clever, actually.
innerartgirl
They say that Mezcal put the worm in the bottle to test strength. If the worm died by the time it was at the bottom= strong.
MachacaKhan
Lies
FarkasMacTavish
"they say"
MachacaKhan
"They" lie.
reflectedsoundofundergroundspirits
Nice! Thanks for the neat fact.
innerartgirl
NP. Misspent youth. ;)
sorryfornocapitalssorryimsorry
at first i thought you were talking about the worm's strength ...
ImgurCouncilOfLlamas
Come on worm! Show them your strength! Hurry up and die!
WyrmsWorks
It's the caterpillar of a moth, not a worm. <_> I know they're called worms, but they're not really worms.
danteismycat
I love hearing about people's break ups. Observing people is better than tv at times
drunknninja
All it takes is one head nod and people think you care, too. It's great.
Ka0slegion117
People watching is my favorite activity
Shitposting2017
"we lied, you don't have wings" -red bull
BoomerKeith
"On second thought, you DO have wings...no fly bitch!" - Heroin
dongmastasz
And jager
Smallbritguy
"You can make like a human airplane now, go for it, believe in yourself" - jagerbombs
RaughInMandarin
http://imgur.com/6gLgHXQ
IGotBannedForTheGIF
They actually lost a lawsuit over that...
zoomball
Just got my check in the mail today.
madrush
facepalm...why am I not surprised
bendorfstyle
I opted for the cash. Was hoping for more.
Xang
A free $4.25 isn't bad though.
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SEALTeamRicks
ImTheSchmitt
Also just got my $4.25!
chefryank
I got a free 4 pack of red Bull from that.
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[deleted]
SEALTeamRicks
MLGsandwichmaker
Same! I had completely forgotten about it but was SO happy!
BaconGabe
Me too! It took so long I forgot about it. It was a wonderful surprise!!
SEALTeamRicks
Me too! But only just 2 weeks ago. I filled out for it what feels like 2 years ago.
AmandaLynn54
Same! It was two years ago almost exactly.
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Squelchtone
there are dozens of us! I got this mystery cardboard box and when I opened it I nearly fainted since I had already given up all hope
[deleted]
[deleted]
SEALTeamRicks
LittleKingTrashmouth
I actually got $4.50 from that class action lawsuit! The check just came in the mail last week.
[deleted]
[deleted]
SEALTeamRicks
MLGsandwichmaker
Me too but I opted for the free case! YUMM!!
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SEALTeamRicks
milexing
So did I! Sup, my class-action buddy?
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SEALTeamRicks
frizzyhairdontcare
Same!!
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[deleted]
SEALTeamRicks
LittleKingTrashmouth
What are you going to spend yours on??
milexing
I'm thinking THIS time it'll give me wings....
LittleKingTrashmouth
Genius
Kilo11
"You can pretty much say you crossfit now" - water
Zrkled
Alkaline batteries
MobiusAzarath
Lolololol the best one
TardisBatman
Dont ruin this for me
ufosundercover
Alkaline water
AGronau
So basic.
TywinStannister
Is that the black stuff?
Kittynomnoms
I think that might count, but there's clear stuff too. Literally just water with a slightly higher pH.
Craftylefty47
"Why don't you go cross-fuck yourself."
pc404
Flints water system
DanSwizzle
Batman
Blueberry811
Alkaline Skywalker
Corelebras
Best comment I have seen in a long time!
DamageControl89
Alkaline water
Threewisemen
You can cross fuck off. -some Canadian probably
InitWho
Alkaline water
RaughInMandarin
http://imgur.com/IgSJWTU
BryceMasterman
Yes
Girtouh
You're good at this.
RaughInMandarin
thankl buddy
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DisenfranchisedSovietBear
Alkaline water
DinoSuarez
Alkaline water
BryceMasterman
[deleted]... What
ufosundercover
it was a duplicate
khaleesimotherofkittycats
If I drank the required amount of water a human needs daily, I would tell everyone. That shit is impressive.
maratheconover
I drink around 70 oz. of water a day. Yup...worth bragging about. Dropped soda and sweet drinks from my diet. I am pretty proud.
aintnothinbutahounddog28
That amount that a human needs generally refers to total water intake. So all the food you eat and other drinks provide a portion
slothseizure
I drink 5L a day and it's starting to worry me...
ElectronicArtsOfficial
That's actually about a liter more than me, I'm impressed.
khaleesimotherofkittycats
Isn't the prescribed amount like 2L? My mum drinks a lot of water, I'm pretty sure it thins her blood some. I know drinking water to excess
khaleesimotherofkittycats
can be dangerous but I'm pretty sure it's like wayyyyyyy to excess.
tenderape
I experienced the effects of too much water during chemo. Flushed all the good stuff out of my kidneys, had to take a ton more pills.
khaleesimotherofkittycats
Oh shit man, that's something I'd never thought of but it makes sense!