Jan 22, 2020 5:07 PM
BroccoliCock
76369
1558
47
ProfessorAssBlast2020
Im sorry bt that dude
Death83
I hate looking at my dick when its flaccid. It's complete fucking injustice. Lol
40pctdolomite
Secret they dont tell you, most woman have zero interest going to the ER for stitches - 250 lb friend who's part mule and only get BJs
SkinDamage
Girth > Length
MINIMVM
heatfreakMN
Welcome to horn talk
saucesandwich
Ken Jeong
HumbleOgre
it's all in the hips...
LarvaLamp
I thought a choad was a taint?
Quetzal4U
I actually wanna see more choads. There ain’t many in porn. I wanna see that chub.
myr14d
The average guy is a duck?
Ellisd326
Having a big dick sucks. I have to adjust it every few minutes.
That's what I figured. Whenever I see a guy with a big one, I'm like "what do you do with that thing?" I'm glad I'm a grower!
whiskeyvillage
As Ron White says, "I look like a button on a fur coat."
PaulNewmansGhost
Hung like a hamster and twice as furry.
TimetravelingInterdimensionalPsychicVampire
I was happy being above average until it hurt my gf. Made me super self conscious. Pros and cons.
SomebodyalreadytookMyPants
"movie"
IHeartKittyCats
At least you have the girth.
chamtheman
I thank the universe that I am not balding, 6 feet tall, with a fit build and a penis of 7 inches. Like I see all these guys on
here freaking out about these few things.
LaforgeMRA
v
Silversammy
ddm500
I managed to roll it up like that once. It did that party whistle thing the next time I peed.
SKIDMARK95
Mikehippop
ShouldersDeepInAHorse
...What the fuck is that?
RuthlessRuben
I think that's a pipe cleaner. And the other two things are disembodied hands. Not a common upgrade for a pipe cleaner.
ThomServeaux
Drain snake or auger. Used to remove those heavy duty clogs. Or heavy doody clogs.
DenaliRaven
They smell fantastic when they come back out from the depths of beyond the toilet too
Happax
Just focus on your desire for your s.o. Your penis will be the most beautiful thing in her/his life.
trondason1
I've heard comments like that be applied to breasts, didn't know they also applied to dicks
Just in the case of the latter, its greatness is not in the eyes of the beholder...
foxfire1112
im so glad I like my dick
FoeOfFauxPho
do you think you could pick it out in a lineup of 100 photos of dicks that are the same color and the same re : circumcision?
ive been told it's picture perfect. But no, probably not? Haven't thought about it
CleanLeQueefer
Let’s try. Post it.
I
dontknowwhatiam
Some of those are fake. There are penis prosthetics. Prop cocks
jegustaeau
What movies are you watching that dudes are just walking around w/their schlong out??
westwood8183
Altered Carbon.
ottotravel
I feel like it is fairly rare to see broad face schlong.
Cptmike
Watchmen... I should have known. It's right there in the fuckin title
hirvipelko
Lady here.... trust me, bigger is not always better. At all
Zeuski
If only women believed this offline as well
Iliefornothingalways
Its about the time you put in with your partner that matters. Take care of each others.
jbilly90
Girl here too. Correct too big is painful.
RelativeVelocity
Yeah, I am not a fan of stubbing the cervix, and neither is any of my past partners.
Stretch18
Guy here. Untold number of women climax every day using only their fingers. Men are so unnecessarily insecure about their junk...
zbadmanz1911
Just use like 8 fingers should be fine!
bongo12
Amen brotha!
whyattearp
I don't know if it's "unnecessarily insecure" most women still make fun of small dicks even if it is just joking
dogmatix
fingers have a certain... dexterity.. that you will never get with a dick.
donteatlegoplease
I hear lots of men have fingers
Indeed. Not to brag, but I've got like... 8 of them. Probably better than them than with my dick tbh
DerkatBaron
I believe you because you said what I wanted to hear
It's true
boatsandhoes93
iotaprime
They gotta be using fluffers/viagra and keep the temperature way up during those scenes.
ThrownClub
Swedish Penis Enlarger Pumps Are My Bag Baby-by Austin Powers
Chpgmr
nah, they just hire people who are just turned on by everything.
Imustupvotealltacos
Are you not?
Gianttesticlemonster
healover
Your username is relevant too here, want to share some thoughts?
"Hey guys! I found a new [sexual] trigger. Cocaine in men's beards!"
QueefBurglarSixtyNine
What about Ken Jeong?
Did he hang dong in a movie?
When he jumps out the trunk in the Hangover. On a related note, on a scale of batteries, what’s smaller than AAA?
ButtchugSomeGatorade
A miniature vanilla tootsie roll?
Haha, I remember that scene but guess I didn't pay close enough attention. Also there are 23A batteries. They are stubby little AAs
qzgy
Apparently AAAA is a thing. Smaller than AAA, really cute.
shiftdi3s3l
CR2016 is a good candidate.
azazyel
Yeah, watching Spartacus I was like...woah that's gotta almost drag on the ground
Savedbytheballs
That was a fake dick.
girlsomewhere
So good though.. Tried to make a drinking game of the show. It was disastrous
C111825
What like everytime there was nudity you'de take a shot?
The word cock.. Only one tit.. Etc. Therules may change from week to week kinda thing.
jnthnCheeseVoter
Right!? and imagine trying to deal with your Johnson swimming in the toilet whilst you try to drop a duece
Mountainjew89
Fun fact: they have to pay actors more to show dong. So most of the dicks you see in that show are prosthetics. I had a friend who worked1/2
Hell yeah they better pay more for full dong
On the show and he said there was a box on set labled 'cocks' that was filled with all the prosthetics they used 2/2
jwax33
Wait. So actors have to wear previously used prosthetic dicks?!
Askarus
Oh horse cock dude? Yea that was intense.
TheHyruleWarrior
Wasn't that a cgi dick?
Chols
Come Get It
Gayforbae
The one that got it ripped off?
Wait is this in the original charlton Heston one?
That's the one
GINGIVITISSS
You had my curiosity, and now you have my attention. Please, go on about the horse cock man.
It was the "mark of the brotherhood" episode. Dudes swinging wrench.
TheBlaineGame
I concur. For science
CharlieKellyratslayer
Dude hangs dong
Charlton Heston??
jmeyers1983
#thundergun
admiralbenson
LeoPk20
?
angryotterface
Michael Faststiffer
pandamonstre
aah, his pretty shark toothed smile. Also the penis, yes, long penis.
JekyllMeetsHyde
Really? That's my name too.
UhhhhhNick
Doesn’t he have a huge donger?
Mayyybe
Does he ever
would make sense. i'd imagine mystique would really have her pick of the litter.
*clitter
remarks61693
They call him fastmember
Vastmember
KinderSurpriseMF
Assbender
dduncan55330
From what I've heard girth is better than length for female pleasure so... congrats?
cbcd
Oh good, I can disappoint on two fronts now.
unknownposterr
Yeah it’s girth. The vagina doesn’t even have nerve endings on the inside past a point
That’s what she said.
flamingflamingo
This is true. I once slept with a guy who had a 6.5in dong but it was really skinny. Sex felt weird and uncomfortable.
kevinallover
Nah man, you really wanna pound that cervix. Women love a good cervix pounding.
retrohellix
As is tradition.
originalone
I wish I could hear this in her awful British accent
Cheomesh
Been with one who does. That was interesting.
crimsonghost1
Yup. I'm a grower, not a shower. And even then, I'm swinging a gladius and not a broad sword.
IHateApostrophes
Why does everyone say they're a grower, not a shower? Do you guys think some dudes get smaller when they get hard?
WreckGar
It a relative comparison. If a shower had the same reaction as a grower their dick would be dragging in dirt every time they got excited
CrimeBrulee
I have a decent claymore that looks like a dagger in the sheathe. It's convenient, but it also made me real insecure in the locker room.
PietroAretino
Amateur move. The gladius was built for stabbing not swinging.
stoneddj420
Stabbing guts
donorkort
I'm more of a frisbee guy.
Illithidbane
Could be me. Slightly above average, but married to a wife with zero libido.
Go down on her!!!
honeybadger16
but the gladius laid an empire
andwings2go
Was self conscious for years about flaccid size. Now just seems convenient and aerodynamic. Doesn’t get tangled in things etc
In things?!!!
BitchButcher
Ha! My centuria is already equipped with pila!
sixdollarwhiskey
It will keel
ArcaneKvothe
Im swinging the weapon of chaos it changes it's form every so often this time it's a tiny little dagger.
Rogues dagger. Eh? Hopefully not poison coated. Dont be that guy.
Im always that guy.
mmartin762
My balls, on the other hand, are VERY long, all the time.
WineIsNoice2
with a grower it's always funny to see the girls reaction when it grows longer than their own head (chin - top head)
XarioWithoutALastName
Also, like 0.5% of men will grow longer than her face.
ButchPrincess
Face. I think the word you're looking for is their face.
catmonger
Lmao Dying
factcheckmate
I am growing gladioulus - flower named after Gladius, literally means sword flower. Dick pic: https://imgur.com/5tsL5T3
Sasurau
thetoniesttony
Risky click of the day
PartyOnSlurms
Reported.
3Davideo
That really doesn't work anymore, now that imgur makes thumbnails for imgur links.
DarthBallsDankLordOfTheShit
PERFIDY
Fjuben
I expected a pic of a flower
boomfelazi
Same here.
TheHawkRules
I was expecting this:
Resyp
I hear at that point you don't need to worry about dumping points into strength, go full Dex build.
LRazzle
Excuse you, whips are dex based
Ever heard of the saying "to push rope"?
WelshMerc4223
Hey man it's not the size of the boat or the motion of the ocean. It's about whether the captain is in Port long enough for all (1)
Passengers to get off (2).
NotMyDad
That’s a pretty good one.
Yeah, but as per Dark Souls rules, you're not even supposed to look at dex.
Drinkawaythepain
Buckler / Scythe for life, meet me at Blight Town Ladder for an ass kicking. *fight me gestures*
SadLittleWizard
In a schedule full of bland class, this comment made my day sir, thank you!
ADHDFox
Dude, dex builds are bae
MaximumSausage
Fuck that. Uchigatana up in that bitch.
Rivet95
But is that gonna make her call you her Giant Daddy?
DrugsDoMe
Make her bleed.
gaberham
What it is when you aren’t a grower and also are not a shower? Asking for a friend.
A biological female
ChopDaffodil
Loner
BenSnow97
cattywumpus
Hopefully, good at going down.
I believe that's called a chode
Nah a chose is when your thicker than you are long. Like a wheel of cheese.
WillowFox
A girl? A future trans? So many possibilities
Xionis
A dirk.
A woman.
Oh, that’s when your dick grows when it’s erect, and then shrinks back down when flaccid. It’s like how cats retract their claws, but dicks.
You know what, I read that wrong, I thought you were asking what grower, not a shower meant, but I’m just gonna leave this up and hold my L.
ProfessorAssBlast2020
Im sorry bt that dude
Death83
I hate looking at my dick when its flaccid. It's complete fucking injustice. Lol
40pctdolomite
Secret they dont tell you, most woman have zero interest going to the ER for stitches - 250 lb friend who's part mule and only get BJs
SkinDamage
Girth > Length
MINIMVM
heatfreakMN
Welcome to horn talk
saucesandwich
Ken Jeong
HumbleOgre
LarvaLamp
I thought a choad was a taint?
Quetzal4U
I actually wanna see more choads. There ain’t many in porn. I wanna see that chub.
myr14d
The average guy is a duck?
Ellisd326
Having a big dick sucks. I have to adjust it every few minutes.
LarvaLamp
That's what I figured. Whenever I see a guy with a big one, I'm like "what do you do with that thing?" I'm glad I'm a grower!
whiskeyvillage
As Ron White says, "I look like a button on a fur coat."
PaulNewmansGhost
Hung like a hamster and twice as furry.
TimetravelingInterdimensionalPsychicVampire
I was happy being above average until it hurt my gf. Made me super self conscious. Pros and cons.
SomebodyalreadytookMyPants
"movie"
IHeartKittyCats
At least you have the girth.
chamtheman
I thank the universe that I am not balding, 6 feet tall, with a fit build and a penis of 7 inches. Like I see all these guys on
chamtheman
here freaking out about these few things.
LaforgeMRA
Silversammy
ddm500
I managed to roll it up like that once. It did that party whistle thing the next time I peed.
SKIDMARK95
Mikehippop
ShouldersDeepInAHorse
...What the fuck is that?
RuthlessRuben
I think that's a pipe cleaner. And the other two things are disembodied hands. Not a common upgrade for a pipe cleaner.
ThomServeaux
Drain snake or auger. Used to remove those heavy duty clogs. Or heavy doody clogs.
DenaliRaven
They smell fantastic when they come back out from the depths of beyond the toilet too
Happax
Just focus on your desire for your s.o. Your penis will be the most beautiful thing in her/his life.
trondason1
I've heard comments like that be applied to breasts, didn't know they also applied to dicks
Happax
Just in the case of the latter, its greatness is not in the eyes of the beholder...
foxfire1112
im so glad I like my dick
FoeOfFauxPho
do you think you could pick it out in a lineup of 100 photos of dicks that are the same color and the same re : circumcision?
foxfire1112
ive been told it's picture perfect. But no, probably not? Haven't thought about it
CleanLeQueefer
Let’s try. Post it.
foxfire1112
CleanLeQueefer
I
dontknowwhatiam
Some of those are fake. There are penis prosthetics. Prop cocks
jegustaeau
What movies are you watching that dudes are just walking around w/their schlong out??
westwood8183
Altered Carbon.
ottotravel
I feel like it is fairly rare to see broad face schlong.
Cptmike
Watchmen... I should have known. It's right there in the fuckin title
hirvipelko
Lady here.... trust me, bigger is not always better. At all
Zeuski
If only women believed this offline as well
Iliefornothingalways
Its about the time you put in with your partner that matters. Take care of each others.
jbilly90
Girl here too. Correct too big is painful.
RelativeVelocity
Yeah, I am not a fan of stubbing the cervix, and neither is any of my past partners.
Stretch18
Guy here. Untold number of women climax every day using only their fingers. Men are so unnecessarily insecure about their junk...
zbadmanz1911
Just use like 8 fingers should be fine!
bongo12
Amen brotha!
whyattearp
I don't know if it's "unnecessarily insecure" most women still make fun of small dicks even if it is just joking
dogmatix
fingers have a certain... dexterity.. that you will never get with a dick.
donteatlegoplease
I hear lots of men have fingers
dogmatix
Indeed. Not to brag, but I've got like... 8 of them. Probably better than them than with my dick tbh
DerkatBaron
I believe you because you said what I wanted to hear
hirvipelko
It's true
boatsandhoes93
iotaprime
They gotta be using fluffers/viagra and keep the temperature way up during those scenes.
ThrownClub
Swedish Penis Enlarger Pumps Are My Bag Baby-by Austin Powers
Chpgmr
nah, they just hire people who are just turned on by everything.
Imustupvotealltacos
Are you not?
Gianttesticlemonster
healover
Your username is relevant too here, want to share some thoughts?
Imustupvotealltacos
"Hey guys! I found a new [sexual] trigger. Cocaine in men's beards!"
QueefBurglarSixtyNine
What about Ken Jeong?
iotaprime
Did he hang dong in a movie?
QueefBurglarSixtyNine
When he jumps out the trunk in the Hangover. On a related note, on a scale of batteries, what’s smaller than AAA?
ButtchugSomeGatorade
A miniature vanilla tootsie roll?
iotaprime
Haha, I remember that scene but guess I didn't pay close enough attention. Also there are 23A batteries. They are stubby little AAs
qzgy
Apparently AAAA is a thing. Smaller than AAA, really cute.
shiftdi3s3l
CR2016 is a good candidate.
azazyel
Yeah, watching Spartacus I was like...woah that's gotta almost drag on the ground
Savedbytheballs
That was a fake dick.
girlsomewhere
So good though.. Tried to make a drinking game of the show. It was disastrous
C111825
What like everytime there was nudity you'de take a shot?
girlsomewhere
The word cock.. Only one tit.. Etc. Therules may change from week to week kinda thing.
jnthnCheeseVoter
Right!? and imagine trying to deal with your Johnson swimming in the toilet whilst you try to drop a duece
Mountainjew89
Fun fact: they have to pay actors more to show dong. So most of the dicks you see in that show are prosthetics. I had a friend who worked1/2
ButtchugSomeGatorade
Hell yeah they better pay more for full dong
Mountainjew89
On the show and he said there was a box on set labled 'cocks' that was filled with all the prosthetics they used 2/2
jwax33
Wait. So actors have to wear previously used prosthetic dicks?!
Askarus
Oh horse cock dude? Yea that was intense.
TheHyruleWarrior
Wasn't that a cgi dick?
Chols
Come Get It
Gayforbae
The one that got it ripped off?
ButtchugSomeGatorade
Wait is this in the original charlton Heston one?
Gayforbae
Askarus
That's the one
GINGIVITISSS
You had my curiosity, and now you have my attention. Please, go on about the horse cock man.
Askarus
It was the "mark of the brotherhood" episode. Dudes swinging wrench.
TheBlaineGame
I concur. For science
CharlieKellyratslayer
Dude hangs dong
ButtchugSomeGatorade
Charlton Heston??
jmeyers1983
#thundergun
admiralbenson
LeoPk20
?
angryotterface
Michael Faststiffer
pandamonstre
aah, his pretty shark toothed smile. Also the penis, yes, long penis.
JekyllMeetsHyde
Really? That's my name too.
UhhhhhNick
Doesn’t he have a huge donger?
Mayyybe
Does he ever
FoeOfFauxPho
would make sense. i'd imagine mystique would really have her pick of the litter.
CleanLeQueefer
*clitter
remarks61693
They call him fastmember
admiralbenson
Vastmember
KinderSurpriseMF
Assbender
dduncan55330
From what I've heard girth is better than length for female pleasure so... congrats?
cbcd
Oh good, I can disappoint on two fronts now.
unknownposterr
Yeah it’s girth. The vagina doesn’t even have nerve endings on the inside past a point
CleanLeQueefer
That’s what she said.
flamingflamingo
This is true. I once slept with a guy who had a 6.5in dong but it was really skinny. Sex felt weird and uncomfortable.
kevinallover
Nah man, you really wanna pound that cervix. Women love a good cervix pounding.
retrohellix
As is tradition.
SKIDMARK95
originalone
I wish I could hear this in her awful British accent
Cheomesh
Been with one who does. That was interesting.
crimsonghost1
Yup. I'm a grower, not a shower. And even then, I'm swinging a gladius and not a broad sword.
IHateApostrophes
Why does everyone say they're a grower, not a shower? Do you guys think some dudes get smaller when they get hard?
WreckGar
It a relative comparison. If a shower had the same reaction as a grower their dick would be dragging in dirt every time they got excited
CrimeBrulee
I have a decent claymore that looks like a dagger in the sheathe. It's convenient, but it also made me real insecure in the locker room.
PietroAretino
Amateur move. The gladius was built for stabbing not swinging.
stoneddj420
Stabbing guts
donorkort
I'm more of a frisbee guy.
Illithidbane
Could be me. Slightly above average, but married to a wife with zero libido.
Mayyybe
Go down on her!!!
honeybadger16
but the gladius laid an empire
andwings2go
Was self conscious for years about flaccid size. Now just seems convenient and aerodynamic. Doesn’t get tangled in things etc
Mayyybe
In things?!!!
BitchButcher
Ha! My centuria is already equipped with pila!
sixdollarwhiskey
It will keel
ArcaneKvothe
Im swinging the weapon of chaos it changes it's form every so often this time it's a tiny little dagger.
crimsonghost1
Rogues dagger. Eh? Hopefully not poison coated. Dont be that guy.
ArcaneKvothe
Im always that guy.
mmartin762
My balls, on the other hand, are VERY long, all the time.
WineIsNoice2
with a grower it's always funny to see the girls reaction when it grows longer than their own head (chin - top head)
XarioWithoutALastName
Also, like 0.5% of men will grow longer than her face.
ButchPrincess
Face. I think the word you're looking for is their face.
catmonger
Lmao Dying
factcheckmate
I am growing gladioulus - flower named after Gladius, literally means sword flower. Dick pic: https://imgur.com/5tsL5T3
Sasurau
thetoniesttony
Risky click of the day
PartyOnSlurms
Reported.
3Davideo
That really doesn't work anymore, now that imgur makes thumbnails for imgur links.
DarthBallsDankLordOfTheShit
PERFIDY
Fjuben
I expected a pic of a flower
boomfelazi
Same here.
TheHawkRules
I was expecting this:
Resyp
I hear at that point you don't need to worry about dumping points into strength, go full Dex build.
LRazzle
Excuse you, whips are dex based
crimsonghost1
Ever heard of the saying "to push rope"?
WelshMerc4223
Hey man it's not the size of the boat or the motion of the ocean. It's about whether the captain is in Port long enough for all (1)
WelshMerc4223
Passengers to get off (2).
NotMyDad
That’s a pretty good one.
crimsonghost1
Yeah, but as per Dark Souls rules, you're not even supposed to look at dex.
Drinkawaythepain
Buckler / Scythe for life, meet me at Blight Town Ladder for an ass kicking. *fight me gestures*
SadLittleWizard
In a schedule full of bland class, this comment made my day sir, thank you!
ADHDFox
Dude, dex builds are bae
MaximumSausage
Fuck that. Uchigatana up in that bitch.
Rivet95
But is that gonna make her call you her Giant Daddy?
DrugsDoMe
Make her bleed.
gaberham
What it is when you aren’t a grower and also are not a shower? Asking for a friend.
trondason1
A biological female
ChopDaffodil
Loner
BenSnow97
cattywumpus
Hopefully, good at going down.
kevinallover
I believe that's called a chode
mmartin762
Nah a chose is when your thicker than you are long. Like a wheel of cheese.
WillowFox
A girl? A future trans? So many possibilities
Xionis
A dirk.
Cheomesh
A woman.
TheHawkRules
Oh, that’s when your dick grows when it’s erect, and then shrinks back down when flaccid. It’s like how cats retract their claws, but dicks.
TheHawkRules
You know what, I read that wrong, I thought you were asking what grower, not a shower meant, but I’m just gonna leave this up and hold my L.