Choad be told

Jan 22, 2020 5:07 PM

BroccoliCock

Views

76369

Likes

1558

Dislikes

47

Im sorry bt that dude

6 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

I hate looking at my dick when its flaccid. It's complete fucking injustice. Lol

6 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

Secret they dont tell you, most woman have zero interest going to the ER for stitches - 250 lb friend who's part mule and only get BJs

6 years ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 0

Girth > Length

6 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

6 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

Welcome to horn talk

6 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

Ken Jeong

6 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

it's all in the hips...

6 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

I thought a choad was a taint?

6 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 1

I actually wanna see more choads. There ain’t many in porn. I wanna see that chub.

6 years ago | Likes 7 Dislikes 0

The average guy is a duck?

6 years ago | Likes 5 Dislikes 0

Having a big dick sucks. I have to adjust it every few minutes.

6 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 1

That's what I figured. Whenever I see a guy with a big one, I'm like "what do you do with that thing?" I'm glad I'm a grower!

6 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

As Ron White says, "I look like a button on a fur coat."

6 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 1

Hung like a hamster and twice as furry.

6 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

I was happy being above average until it hurt my gf. Made me super self conscious. Pros and cons.

6 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

"movie"

6 years ago | Likes 12 Dislikes 0

At least you have the girth.

6 years ago | Likes 7 Dislikes 1

I thank the universe that I am not balding, 6 feet tall, with a fit build and a penis of 7 inches. Like I see all these guys on

6 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

here freaking out about these few things.

6 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

v

6 years ago | Likes 8 Dislikes 0

6 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

I managed to roll it up like that once. It did that party whistle thing the next time I peed.

6 years ago | Likes 21 Dislikes 2

6 years ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 0

6 years ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 0

...What the fuck is that?

6 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

I think that's a pipe cleaner. And the other two things are disembodied hands. Not a common upgrade for a pipe cleaner.

6 years ago | Likes 5 Dislikes 0

Drain snake or auger. Used to remove those heavy duty clogs. Or heavy doody clogs.

6 years ago | Likes 6 Dislikes 0

They smell fantastic when they come back out from the depths of beyond the toilet too

6 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

Just focus on your desire for your s.o. Your penis will be the most beautiful thing in her/his life.

6 years ago | Likes 11 Dislikes 3

I've heard comments like that be applied to breasts, didn't know they also applied to dicks

6 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

Just in the case of the latter, its greatness is not in the eyes of the beholder...

6 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

im so glad I like my dick

6 years ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 0

do you think you could pick it out in a lineup of 100 photos of dicks that are the same color and the same re : circumcision?

6 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

ive been told it's picture perfect. But no, probably not? Haven't thought about it

6 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

Let’s try. Post it.

6 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

6 years ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 0

I

6 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

Some of those are fake. There are penis prosthetics. Prop cocks

6 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

What movies are you watching that dudes are just walking around w/their schlong out??

6 years ago | Likes 13 Dislikes 0

Altered Carbon.

6 years ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 0

I feel like it is fairly rare to see broad face schlong.

6 years ago | Likes 6 Dislikes 0

Watchmen... I should have known. It's right there in the fuckin title

6 years ago | Likes 7 Dislikes 0

Lady here.... trust me, bigger is not always better. At all

6 years ago | Likes 68 Dislikes 4

If only women believed this offline as well

6 years ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 1

Its about the time you put in with your partner that matters. Take care of each others.

6 years ago | Likes 18 Dislikes 0

Girl here too. Correct too big is painful.

6 years ago | Likes 6 Dislikes 0

Yeah, I am not a fan of stubbing the cervix, and neither is any of my past partners.

6 years ago | Likes 12 Dislikes 0

Guy here. Untold number of women climax every day using only their fingers. Men are so unnecessarily insecure about their junk...

6 years ago | Likes 38 Dislikes 1

Just use like 8 fingers should be fine!

6 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Amen brotha!

6 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 1

I don't know if it's "unnecessarily insecure" most women still make fun of small dicks even if it is just joking

6 years ago | Likes 28 Dislikes 2

fingers have a certain... dexterity.. that you will never get with a dick.

6 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

I hear lots of men have fingers

6 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

Indeed. Not to brag, but I've got like... 8 of them. Probably better than them than with my dick tbh

6 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

I believe you because you said what I wanted to hear

6 years ago | Likes 21 Dislikes 0

It's true

6 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

6 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

They gotta be using fluffers/viagra and keep the temperature way up during those scenes.

6 years ago | Likes 125 Dislikes 4

Swedish Penis Enlarger Pumps Are My Bag Baby-by Austin Powers

6 years ago | Likes 21 Dislikes 0

nah, they just hire people who are just turned on by everything.

6 years ago | Likes 76 Dislikes 0

Are you not?

6 years ago | Likes 27 Dislikes 0

6 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

Your username is relevant too here, want to share some thoughts?

6 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

"Hey guys! I found a new [sexual] trigger. Cocaine in men's beards!"

6 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

What about Ken Jeong?

6 years ago | Likes 16 Dislikes 1

Did he hang dong in a movie?

6 years ago | Likes 12 Dislikes 1

When he jumps out the trunk in the Hangover. On a related note, on a scale of batteries, what’s smaller than AAA?

6 years ago | Likes 18 Dislikes 1

A miniature vanilla tootsie roll?

6 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 1

Haha, I remember that scene but guess I didn't pay close enough attention. Also there are 23A batteries. They are stubby little AAs

6 years ago | Likes 5 Dislikes 0

Apparently AAAA is a thing. Smaller than AAA, really cute.

6 years ago | Likes 6 Dislikes 0

CR2016 is a good candidate.

6 years ago | Likes 13 Dislikes 0

Yeah, watching Spartacus I was like...woah that's gotta almost drag on the ground

6 years ago | Likes 128 Dislikes 1

That was a fake dick.

6 years ago | Likes 22 Dislikes 0

So good though.. Tried to make a drinking game of the show. It was disastrous

6 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

What like everytime there was nudity you'de take a shot?

6 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

The word cock.. Only one tit.. Etc. Therules may change from week to week kinda thing.

6 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

Right!? and imagine trying to deal with your Johnson swimming in the toilet whilst you try to drop a duece

6 years ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 0

Fun fact: they have to pay actors more to show dong. So most of the dicks you see in that show are prosthetics. I had a friend who worked1/2

6 years ago | Likes 21 Dislikes 0

Hell yeah they better pay more for full dong

6 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

On the show and he said there was a box on set labled 'cocks' that was filled with all the prosthetics they used 2/2

6 years ago | Likes 20 Dislikes 0

Wait. So actors have to wear previously used prosthetic dicks?!

6 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

Oh horse cock dude? Yea that was intense.

6 years ago | Likes 87 Dislikes 2

Wasn't that a cgi dick?

6 years ago | Likes 35 Dislikes 1

Come Get It

6 years ago | Likes 38 Dislikes 0

The one that got it ripped off?

6 years ago | Likes 5 Dislikes 0

Wait is this in the original charlton Heston one?

6 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

6 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 2

That's the one

6 years ago | Likes 5 Dislikes 0

You had my curiosity, and now you have my attention. Please, go on about the horse cock man.

6 years ago | Likes 35 Dislikes 0

It was the "mark of the brotherhood" episode. Dudes swinging wrench.

6 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

I concur. For science

6 years ago | Likes 15 Dislikes 0

Dude hangs dong

6 years ago | Likes 16 Dislikes 0

Charlton Heston??

6 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

#thundergun

6 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

6 years ago | Likes 108 Dislikes 1

?

6 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Michael Faststiffer

6 years ago | Likes 7 Dislikes 0

aah, his pretty shark toothed smile. Also the penis, yes, long penis.

6 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

Really? That's my name too.

6 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

Doesn’t he have a huge donger?

6 years ago | Likes 18 Dislikes 1

Does he ever

6 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

would make sense. i'd imagine mystique would really have her pick of the litter.

6 years ago | Likes 6 Dislikes 0

*clitter

6 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

They call him fastmember

6 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

Vastmember

6 years ago | Likes 7 Dislikes 0

Assbender

6 years ago | Likes 6 Dislikes 0

From what I've heard girth is better than length for female pleasure so... congrats?

6 years ago | Likes 38 Dislikes 2

Oh good, I can disappoint on two fronts now.

6 years ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 0

Yeah it’s girth. The vagina doesn’t even have nerve endings on the inside past a point

6 years ago | Likes 12 Dislikes 1

That’s what she said.

6 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

This is true. I once slept with a guy who had a 6.5in dong but it was really skinny. Sex felt weird and uncomfortable.

6 years ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 0

Nah man, you really wanna pound that cervix. Women love a good cervix pounding.

6 years ago | Likes 29 Dislikes 14

As is tradition.

6 years ago | Likes 10 Dislikes 0

6 years ago | Likes 29 Dislikes 0

I wish I could hear this in her awful British accent

6 years ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 0

Been with one who does. That was interesting.

6 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

Yup. I'm a grower, not a shower. And even then, I'm swinging a gladius and not a broad sword.

6 years ago | Likes 832 Dislikes 8

Why does everyone say they're a grower, not a shower? Do you guys think some dudes get smaller when they get hard?

6 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 7

It a relative comparison. If a shower had the same reaction as a grower their dick would be dragging in dirt every time they got excited

6 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

I have a decent claymore that looks like a dagger in the sheathe. It's convenient, but it also made me real insecure in the locker room.

6 years ago | Likes 6 Dislikes 0

Amateur move. The gladius was built for stabbing not swinging.

6 years ago | Likes 12 Dislikes 0

Stabbing guts

6 years ago | Likes 6 Dislikes 1

I'm more of a frisbee guy.

6 years ago | Likes 7 Dislikes 0

Could be me. Slightly above average, but married to a wife with zero libido.

6 years ago | Likes 6 Dislikes 3

Go down on her!!!

6 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

but the gladius laid an empire

6 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Was self conscious for years about flaccid size. Now just seems convenient and aerodynamic. Doesn’t get tangled in things etc

6 years ago | Likes 14 Dislikes 0

In things?!!!

6 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Ha! My centuria is already equipped with pila!

6 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

It will keel

6 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Im swinging the weapon of chaos it changes it's form every so often this time it's a tiny little dagger.

6 years ago | Likes 5 Dislikes 0

Rogues dagger. Eh? Hopefully not poison coated. Dont be that guy.

6 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Im always that guy.

6 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

My balls, on the other hand, are VERY long, all the time.

6 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

with a grower it's always funny to see the girls reaction when it grows longer than their own head (chin - top head)

6 years ago | Likes 7 Dislikes 13

Also, like 0.5% of men will grow longer than her face.

6 years ago | Likes 6 Dislikes 0

Face. I think the word you're looking for is their face.

6 years ago | Likes 43 Dislikes 0

Lmao Dying

6 years ago | Likes 9 Dislikes 0

I am growing gladioulus - flower named after Gladius, literally means sword flower. Dick pic: https://imgur.com/5tsL5T3

6 years ago | Likes 66 Dislikes 4

6 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Risky click of the day

6 years ago | Likes 24 Dislikes 0

Reported.

6 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

That really doesn't work anymore, now that imgur makes thumbnails for imgur links.

6 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

PERFIDY

6 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

I expected a pic of a flower

6 years ago | Likes 16 Dislikes 0

Same here.

6 years ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 0

I was expecting this:

6 years ago | Likes 7 Dislikes 0

I hear at that point you don't need to worry about dumping points into strength, go full Dex build.

6 years ago | Likes 202 Dislikes 2

Excuse you, whips are dex based

6 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

Ever heard of the saying "to push rope"?

6 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

Hey man it's not the size of the boat or the motion of the ocean. It's about whether the captain is in Port long enough for all (1)

6 years ago | Likes 16 Dislikes 0

Passengers to get off (2).

6 years ago | Likes 13 Dislikes 0

That’s a pretty good one.

6 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Yeah, but as per Dark Souls rules, you're not even supposed to look at dex.

6 years ago | Likes 50 Dislikes 1

Buckler / Scythe for life, meet me at Blight Town Ladder for an ass kicking. *fight me gestures*

6 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

In a schedule full of bland class, this comment made my day sir, thank you!

6 years ago | Likes 5 Dislikes 0

Dude, dex builds are bae

6 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

Fuck that. Uchigatana up in that bitch.

6 years ago | Likes 25 Dislikes 2

But is that gonna make her call you her Giant Daddy?

6 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

Make her bleed.

6 years ago | Likes 12 Dislikes 1

What it is when you aren’t a grower and also are not a shower? Asking for a friend.

6 years ago | Likes 37 Dislikes 0

A biological female

6 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 2

Loner

6 years ago | Likes 38 Dislikes 1

6 years ago | Likes 8 Dislikes 1

Hopefully, good at going down.

6 years ago | Likes 12 Dislikes 0

I believe that's called a chode

6 years ago | Likes 15 Dislikes 0

Nah a chose is when your thicker than you are long. Like a wheel of cheese.

6 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

A girl? A future trans? So many possibilities

6 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 2

A dirk.

6 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

A woman.

6 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 1

Oh, that’s when your dick grows when it’s erect, and then shrinks back down when flaccid. It’s like how cats retract their claws, but dicks.

6 years ago | Likes 11 Dislikes 2

You know what, I read that wrong, I thought you were asking what grower, not a shower meant, but I’m just gonna leave this up and hold my L.

6 years ago | Likes 23 Dislikes 0