i especially like his chemtrail ideas

Apr 19, 2017 3:43 PM

stormpilots

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my dad genuinely believes in a lot of really strange conspiracy theories, that really deserve a post of their own. some of them are pretty common (eg. the government is just there for show and theres some other organisation in charge, he thinks its big corporations and banks and the like), but hes put a bit of a twist on some too, like weather control (he believes that chemtrails are very early stages of weather control and x years down the line we are all going to be living in hhzs—human habitation zones—so the big corporations in charge want to slow down population growth—also the purpose of the chemtrails, apparently they contain some concoction of chemicals that makes conception less likely).
some of them really make no sense, but theyre ideas id like to write, and thats honestly the only reason i humour him. i get it, that makes me horrible.

Sorry, nobody down here besides the FBI's most unwanted.

9 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 2

Someone call Mulder and Scully

9 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

My brother's one of those. The hardest thing right now is reading the news and realizing he's not as crazy as he sounds...

9 years ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 1

I want to hear these theories.

9 years ago | Likes 8 Dislikes 1

You can recreate "chem trails" in cold weather using your breath or car exhaust. Not that interesting.

9 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

wonder what would happen if you told your father even Alex jones's lawyer calls him a theater act.

9 years ago | Likes 5 Dislikes 2

Son?

9 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 1

All conspiracy theories fall apart once they posit that the government is organized and effectual

9 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

If you think chemtrails are cuckoo: you ain't seen nothin yet...

9 years ago | Likes 7 Dislikes 6

The best thing about believing in conspiracies is that any evidence that contradicts them is "all part of the conspiracy, maaaaaan!"

9 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

Those conspiracy nuts are fucking idiots. They think the government is lizardpeople. THEY'RE SO FUCKING BLIND. The people in charge 1/?

9 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 1

Are humans that WANT us to think they're lizardpeople and that we're human. We're the lizardpeople. WAKE UP YOU STUPID SHEEP. 2/2

9 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 1

I'm an aircraft mechanic. I replace bad chemtrail canisters on jets all the time. I just hate it when I get that stuff on me.

9 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 2

Mine too. Last I heard from my dad, CERN was firing particles into the rings of Saturn to open a portal to hell, releasing the demon army.

9 years ago | Likes 32 Dislikes 1

That's a good one

9 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

CERN are up to some Black Mesa shit, i'm sure of it. I bet there's a bloke somewhere there with the name Gordon Freeman as well.

9 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

Also hhzs-thats what those FEMA buildings in big cities are dude. Fucking duh.

9 years ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 3

Uhhh... sorry to break it to you OP, but our government is literally in the pockets of the banks and corporations of America. Get woke.

9 years ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 2

System of a down is behind 9/11

9 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 2

I don't know about chemtrails, but he's definitely right about corporations and the government.

9 years ago | Likes 5 Dislikes 3

I can't tell the jokers from the crazies in this comment section.

9 years ago | Likes 26 Dislikes 3

Hi there I'm FBI, I would like to have some conversations with you're dad if you don't mind.

9 years ago | Likes 14 Dislikes 3

Hi FBI I'm Dad.

9 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

It's your FBI, dad. Why is son here?

9 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

Reasons

9 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

This. This made me chuckle out loud.

9 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

OPs dad

9 years ago | Likes 14 Dislikes 6

Probably an avid fan.

9 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Barron?

9 years ago | Likes 12 Dislikes 1

9 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

Why, why why the fuck big corps would want to slow human pop ? They thrive on more profits and growth. Less people doesn't accomplish that.

9 years ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 0

9 years ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 1

Watch 5 mins of Alex Jones and you'll see there's way crazier theories out there. INTERDIMENSIONAL PSYCHIC VAMPIRES!!

9 years ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 2

I'm always amazed by the level of competence and organization that these theories give people credit for. I mean, have you MET people??

9 years ago | Likes 13 Dislikes 1

Always said that. Have you dealt with government or military before you claim anything ? It's almost a miracle it doesn't collapse on itself

9 years ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 1

Or that THAT many people involved in a lot of these could keep stuff a secret. Especially when there's so much money to be made confirming

9 years ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 0

Your dad is probably not so wrong.

9 years ago | Likes 57 Dislikes 21

Except about chemtrails, right?

9 years ago | Likes 12 Dislikes 4

I'm not very familiar with that

9 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 1

Well he may not be right about the intent and execution but the result very well may be the same.

9 years ago | Likes 6 Dislikes 12

Chemtrails are just caused by the rapid change in air pressure caused by a plane's engines

9 years ago | Likes 6 Dislikes 2

Contrail* "con-trail" condensation-trail. It's actually stupid simple and logical.

9 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

and planes are emission-free?

9 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 9

THEY'RE TURNING ALL THE FROGS GAY

9 years ago | Likes 6 Dislikes 3

WITH CHEMICALS

9 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 1

in ww2 the usa tried to make a gay-bomb to turn german soldiers gay on the battlefield. So frogs wouldnt be such a big deal i guess.

9 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

We had a customer that would keep a completely straight face and monotone voice while launching of into wild tangents about his conspiracies

9 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

I wish I had written them down to run a game of unknown armies.

9 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

I'm loving all the he's not so crazy comments glad to see I'm not alone. I don't think they're turning the frog's gay by the way. 1/2

9 years ago | Likes 49 Dislikes 5

But think of the advantages a weather weapon would give you for destabilizing your enemies something we are very good at already.

9 years ago | Likes 12 Dislikes 3

Except we can't even reliably predict the weather tomorrow, how can you weaponize something you can't control or predict?

9 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 1

Well that would be the point of trying to control and understand it. I'm not saying they are close but they are trying.

9 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Predicting it and trying to manipulate it are two different ventures.

9 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

Weather control is similar to nukes in that it can drastically effect an ecosystem's ability to produce or not.

9 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

And we have seen an pretty large amount of massive animal die offs and erratic weather

9 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Mutual destruction because we all know we can do it.

9 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Whoever figured it out first could keep it secret based on its nature alone. No one would believe it was real

9 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

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9 years ago (deleted May 9, 2017 3:38 AM) | Likes 0 Dislikes 0

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9 years ago (deleted May 9, 2017 3:38 AM) | Likes 0 Dislikes 0

I absolutely agree. Like the world being flat is silly that's just disinformation or Alex Jones and his bullshit. But bet your ass 1/2

9 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 1

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9 years ago (deleted May 9, 2017 3:40 AM) | Likes 0 Dislikes 0

I fucking despise that dude he's a big reason why no one takes us seriously. I do like David Icke he can get a bit nutty though

9 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 1

They are unequivocally responsible for 9/11 thousands of engineers to back that up

9 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 1

They killed Kenedy, suppressed knowledge of E.T.'s and idk what anyone says there's thousands of engineers and ex military to back me up

9 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 1

But corporations are in control. We literally just put a real estate mogul in the potus chair. Business tycoons regularly find positions

9 years ago | Likes 312 Dislikes 17

if i was the most powerful man in the country and i owned a corporation, i don't think i could stop myself from helping my corportation

9 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

at regulatory agencies for the very industries they ran, & corporate interests supersede public ones via lobbying (i.e. recent privacy bill)

9 years ago | Likes 26 Dislikes 1

Today the current CEO of Exxon is asking for waiver around sanctions to work w Russian oil co. The signer of waiver? Former Exxon CEO.

9 years ago | Likes 5 Dislikes 0

thats true, but hes insisting that brands like cola lowkey rule the world and such.

9 years ago | Likes 72 Dislikes 1

He's got the right idea, he just has to think bigger.

9 years ago | Likes 6 Dislikes 4

Just one question, how old are you? I'm genuinely curious.

9 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Well when you people actually -vote- for them...

9 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

Do you know what was the first western corporation in Afghanistan after the invasion in '03? 8 letters, starts with C.

9 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 1

Chiquita? Those bastards! Haven't the already killed enough?

9 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Hey OP, minions are aliens that are slowly but surely subjugating us until they decide to land and take over. 1/who knows?

9 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Also, fuck, subjugate was the wrong word to use there.

9 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Ever since minions came about, it's all been going to shit man and it's just been snowballing more and more. 2/?

9 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

When the eventual WW3 breaks out, they'll invade. Our armies and cities will be too weak to defend against the onslaught. 3/?

9 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

After crushing us culturally as a species (which they've nearly done) they'll crush us physically. 4/?

9 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Coca-Cola is pulling us apart and Pepsi is trying to bring us together. It makes sense now!

9 years ago | Likes 82 Dislikes 1

Dank.

9 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

I would read dystopian sci-fi about The Cola Wars. ESPECIALLY if it was a stealth prequel to Demolition Man.

9 years ago | Likes 13 Dislikes 0

Pepsi invented the three seashells confirmed

9 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

What about Dr.Pepper?

9 years ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 0

He's just happy to be here.

9 years ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 0

He's defiantly not wrong about the banks: https://youtu.be/CAYkmutzcrU

9 years ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 2

Lol this video try's to make things that are normal and totally justifiable into a conspiracy

9 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 1

*definitely. Why do people mix up these words so much?

9 years ago | Likes 7 Dislikes 2

Autocorrect

9 years ago | Likes 7 Dislikes 0

Autocorrect fucked me. My bad.

9 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0