LordHedgehog
709640
9138
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Sauce: http://www.collegehumor.com/post/7005861/5-ways-to-know-youve-found-the-one
ILikeCockyEngineersAndICannotLie
I like this.
boyburnsworld
This sets an unreal standard for men this is why I need meninism
kamosey
Bixphaast is such a dick.
LukeKarr22
Sorry to all the ladies I never told that I was the Chosen One. WEEOOOWEEEOOOWEEEEE.
TheyrrrrrrrrrrrreFOOD
You can't expect to wield supreme executive power just because some watery tart threw a sword at you!
PopNotes
Markiplier, always taking one for the team.
ChillySuperDuck
This got a lot better.
Stufcolecter
Worst boyfriend ever. I mean, don't get me wrong, I love watching breaking bad in my underwear...
SvarvSven
I don't get it, why was he responding so slow?
BetterKnownAsJasonDarket
I like this. This is liked by me. I am one of the ones who likes this. Thou hast posted what I dersireth.
Sarcastica
Every. Fucking. Time.
shaggykx
Well that escalated quickly
LinneahPotato
Am I the only one that reads people's comments and then clicks on their profiles to check credibility?
LinneahPotato
Or to see if they would make nice friends....
tibris
if she is going to break up with you over a little thing like a hellbeast crawling up out of a rift in space time...
ironlemonade
Well to be fair, it's hard to compete with tentacles.
CosmicRadiance
It's not a rift in spacetime tho; it's a rift in the subterranean demon breeding ground
GTKhriss
Guess that's why my gf pinches my ass everytime she can... xD
ImGoingToShabooms
Serious question - I see cake day on imgur often. I know it means birthday but imgur is the only place I see it. Aware me pless
somethingdark
It's actually a reddit thing. It's your account's birthday, and on reddit you get a cake badge.
darkmyst30
Holy shit, glad I kept reading. Take my upvote!
BoxofBoxes
Seriously, it was like reading a comic written by Joss Whedon.
tipdub
ayo, listen to my mouth words up here. ignore my ass words.
chaoswolf1982
then talk more and fart less.
retgarr
I...I'm kinda sad. I miss her.
DeputyChiefJudgeFish
This happens to me all the fucking time! Damn you Mephistopheles!
BeetleBreakfastBeetleDrink
You're god damn right
MakingUpAUsernameIsTerrifying
6th sign you've found The One: He can stop bullets with his mind, fly, and kill Agents.
KillingTheJoke1
I think you're referring to the 1. After everything is balanced, he is the remainder.
SomethingReallyAmusing
Oh god... I should rewatch those movies. I loved (most of) those movies.
KillingTheJoke1
People pan the second one, but I think it's interesting
madmattz
..shit Ill never be anyones "the one"
octikitten
Not with that attitude!
ladyanoxia
As someone born in solstice, I KNEW I was The Chosen.
DendriteSnowflake
Damn that solstice requirement!
instantbeetle
Ladies, I've closed all my inter dimensional portals and slain all demons hunting me.
jackisbored999
Is tagged tumblr, but the saurce says collegehumor. Goddamn it guys.
KingoPants
Its understandable if it was Buzzfeed, But collegehumour?
dru9087
after that, I dunno if I want to be the one, I would need a constant change of underwear (if I wore them) if some hell beast popped out.
gizmoisgreat
Do he?
Raziya
Is this noobtheloser?
noobtheloser
It is me, yes. I do freelance work for CollegeHumor on a regular basis, these days. :)
Raziya
Awesome! :) I love your sense of humor and art style.
isaaclw
If you follow the link in the description, it goes to college humor and says that it is. I'm still curious though, does he works for them?
Maethoriel
Yup basically.
noobtheloser
Hi.
Maethoriel
That's creepy how quickly you found me.
noobtheloser
How quickly I found my own name ****
Snarknado
Is there a blue letter in here? "Listen to my mouth-words" reminds me of "spread that word-butter all up on my ear-breads."
Snarknado
...and similar handwriting and drawing style to @noobtheloser
Snarknado
Aha! I clicked the source link and it IS indeed @noobtheloser!
noobtheloser
Good eye.
Snarknado
You're here! So I'm not missing a blue letter? That's just for Imgur originals?
noobtheloser
I'm not acknowledging blue letters exist, but if I did, they'd probably just be for Behind-the-GIFs. But they don't exist.
winterdust
If she can't fight a hellbeast, she's not for you, bro.
distilledwill
Spent too much of my life chasing non-hellbeast handlin' ladies. Time to find a real woman!
fayseman
It is the winter solstice after all. Today we will know
fnordsensei
Also, I'm as hypnotised by booty as anyone, so serious question: boobs feed children and sneaky midgets, but what's the purpose of booty?
richlion3
Sitting
msafunk
Shakin' it.
alyydg
Large booty=healthy children. It's subconciously related to breeding, large hips mean easier birth.
Zokalwe
Its shape is related to hormones and thus fertility. Something like that.
fnordsensei
Ah, of course! Correlation, if not direct causation. Didn't think of that.
Catma
Your question is ill formed; larger breasts don't produce more milk. Both are ornamental.
fnordsensei
I disagree. Large breasts would be a fairly obvious superstimulus since they have a direct reproductive function. Not so with booty.
Catma
Booty can be related to hip size, which is linked to both successful birth and survival rate of the mother, both useful for reproduction.
Catma
Can you explain the "direct reproductive function" of breasts? You know that males can lactate, right?
pipipiper
Why are men always like this?
horsebananas
I just embrace the evil.
ChaosLierLen637
Because we do.
NationalistCanadianMooseWarrior
That's racist.
retrohellix
Because you touch yourself at night.
Faolon
Societal expectations. Society expects us to valiantly save the planet from monstrous creatures. So we just do it.
Keru
We can't help it, babe. It's biological.
YouAreCordiallyInvitedToGoFuckYourself
I've just up voted you to 666, so shut up, Satan.
rinzlerslist
Like how?
eronth
We all have a bit of Genghis khan in us. Can't be helped.
ibeandrew
Baby I'm sorry! I can change!
quantumpacket
It's not me! It's you! Wait, what
ZombieEinstein
We don't CHOOSE to be the subject of realm-altering prophecy.
acertainjenesaisquoi
You mean you didn't read the t&c's before ticking the box? Dude, always read the terms and conditions.
notsocrazy24
being the subject of a realm-altering prophecy chose us.
iamOzymandiasLookOnMyWorksDumbassAndDespair
I feel ya bro
PETTdavids
Don't we all?
whimsicalsamurai
If you ask me girlfriends only weigh you down. Now if you excuse me i have to save an alternate dimension to win the affections of a maiden.
Blurbsmith
#NotAllMen
GingerTheBeard
#butallheros
GingerTheBeard
I CANT EVEN BEGIN TO TELL YOU HOW MANY CULTISTS HAVE COCK BLOCKED ME!
Flyndaran
"Ph'nglui Mglw'nafh Cthulhu R'lyeh wgah'nagl fhtagn" really means, "Ha, nigga! You ain't gettin' no poon now!"
TheDarkLordOfTrees
I wish you guys would stop messing with my plans for multi-universal domination. It's expensive you know.
StaticDraco
If its so expensive, then stop wasting money on it. Its clearly a futile investment.
TheDarkLordOfTrees
A TREE CAN DREAM
StaticDraco
Until a lumberjack comes by. Oh look here's one now!