avalani
1168
43
6
My father-in-law is a bipolar mess and hates everything about me for no reason. He gets off on criticizing everything I do. He's going to hate my home, my dog, and my cooking, because that's who he is. I've done everything I can to appease his narcissistic personality, but I'm trying to keep in my head what our relationship counselor told me: that it's just who he is, my home is beautiful and warm, my dog is sweet, well behaved, and adorable, and my cooking is delicious and healthy. It's just hard to keep the bigger picture in mind when the focus is on me.
Edit: I'm the woman. My husband has vowed to stand up for me in the event his father gets passive aggressive. I won't know what I've done to piss him off until we hear it second hand through my mother-in-law or sisters-in-law. He's mean like this to everyone. But my side of the family is very large and very close, so family is important to me.
Whowouldknow
Wife his son. That'll teach him.
Zurgalon
Plan B:
PutThePRNDLinD
He probably treats everyone about the same. That's his problem, it doesn't need to be yours. Just be you and don't take him too seriously.
MysteriousCreeper
Your house your rules.... Never allow a guest to make you feel unwanted in your own home.
AbsoluteThundercunt
Darwinmc
Fuck him, he's on your turf now. Do right by his little girl and tell him to take his meds and suck it up.
XXXassclown
My Father in law didn't like me either, I respectfully let him know in no uncertain terms that I wasn't losing a minutes sleep over it.
flamingflamingo
Holla
StreaksOnTheChinaNeverMatteredBefore
It's a shitty situation but you have to suck it up for the sake of your wife. You don't have to me nice. Just polite.
DougForcett
He's coming to your home turf, literally. I'd take full advantage and set some low key booby traps.
BigToddP
Whiskey.....
avalani
Wine, actually. Glass #2. Gonna cut myself off after this relaxer
secretlibby
You have a right to refuse to allow him in your home, or excuse yourself from his company. I'd spend the day/night at a girlfriend's.
secretlibby
Also, what's up with the rest of that family? If he's civil in company and talks shit afterward, why do they need to tell you about it?
SuckMyUnpopularOpinion
Stop caring
zma123456
Well here is the thing, this sounds like he is senile. In this case all you need to do is ignore him the whole day. Literally just ignore 1/
zma123456
Usually people like that crave attention so they purposefully try to get under other people's skin. If you ignore he will shut up. 2/2
BallsLikeWatermelonsPeckerLikeAThimble
Your husband needs to put a stop to this.
avalani
He will. It's been discussed in depth, and while there's no fixing his father, my husband is gonna stand up for me.
SamArt53
"In the event he becomes passive-aggressive". He LIVES there. Nip it in the bud immediately, even in the first ten mins. Or say GTFO.
avalani
That's just it. It's hard to tell when he's angry, because he will act entirely pleasant until he leaves and talks shit to the others.
secretlibby
You don't need to know the hurtful things he says. They know it must be painful to hear. Try laying down an "ignorance is bliss" rule.
Puggzz
Give him milk, day old stale white bread, a salt shaker and put him in the closet "You can come out when you are a decent human being."
avalani
Lol. He's watching his salt intake. His lovely wife talked to me in secret and told me what to cook and everything. She's wonderful.
Tsen11
Delcious AND healthy! Can I come? Promise to act like human shield. I got the perfect body for it!
avalani
Absolutely. Tonight is broccoli and cheese chicken and roasted sweet potatoes.
Tsen11
NoVoteForYou
Would like to hear the outcome of this meeting...
avalani
I'll let you know. Difficult to tell right away. Usually he saves it to talk abbot about me to hubby's mother and sisters.
NoVoteForYou
Well I hope it goes by without much problems, if any. Best of luck to you.
avalani
Seemed fine. Dinner was good. Chicken was very moist and tender. He actually liked my dog a lot. I'll find out the truth in the coming days.
NoVoteForYou
That's good that it went well so far!
bolognaunderwear
It's fucking bad you have to see a relationship counselor because of you S.O. Dad, they need to step up and put his bitch ass in check
avalani
He's been an abusive ass his entire life, and it affected my husband accordingly. We're breaking the cycle and being better than him.
bolognaunderwear
I've went through similar things, breaking the cycle myself, but that doesn't mean you have to put up with their shit
avalani
I don't intend to. My personal pride is tougher than that. I'll be myself and I'll be a warm hostess, but I will not play his game.
h0tdoglatte
Just make sure to tell him in detail about how much you love fucking his daughter.
avalani
Thanks. I'm actually the woman. But I love his son. Best thing to ever happen to me. And vice versa.
PrisonDonkey
Could have still applied, I guess. We don't know you.
flamingflamingo
Or DO WE
flamingflamingo
Well, sis, I can tell you from experience that it doesn't matter what his or your parents say or do. You and your husband are happy, you've>
flamingflamingo
got your own deal going, and you don't need anyone's approval. If he's an ass, he's an ass. I know it's hard to endure but A) he doesn't >
flamingflamingo
live in your state (afaik?), so this is only temporary. B) What he says about you isn't true, so unless people believe him, you can choose>
flamingflamingo
to write it off as inconsequential to you. And C) already said it in A, but this too shall pass. Life will continue as it has afterward. //
avalani
Thanks, sis. It'll be fine, I think. Just rough right now.