OnePostCloserToAHappierLIfe
114104
3169
27
Feb 12, 2021 8:27 AM
OnePostCloserToAHappierLIfe
114104
3169
27
spossistheboss
Well, then I'm the entire f*king IT dpt...
Fluffometer
Must have 10 years experience of . (Technology X has been around 3 years)
bikergeek6249
When I read these I think "Yeah and maybe if I shoved a broom up my ass I could sweep the floor while I walk to the shithouse."
DustenSalinas
If only I could bill myself out as an entire IT department ;)
PMmedogpics
Unpopular opinion: that is a full stack developer
captaingrump
There was a job posting going around infosec twitter that was basically trying to pay one person 80k for the work of a 1 mill SOC team
mynamespaul
IDK I’ve hired with a spec like this. A really high quality full stack dev can do all of this. Provided you pay well and plan ramp time.
dreikommavierzehn
tbf everything here except SysAdmin is part of being a dev nowadays. And it's not uncommon for devs to configure their server environments >
dreikommavierzehn
during development for debugging and testing. It's much more question of "how much" experience is being asked for
NawaKam
It's not the recruiter, it's their client! Sincerely, a recruiter.
safetcup
You forgot CSS. Most full stacks dev don't write good CSS. My IT Dept is about 700 people. 40% are full stack. 3 of them can do proper CSS.
pr3viso
Just look for a COBOL job. You'll never be bothered and you can name your salary.
88wut
“Why didn’t you treat that employee better? That person obviously knew a lot of things and is hard to replace.”
coololdguy
Best we can do is $15.01 per hour
SacrificialClam
Must be able to build an entire app in two days with no resources whatsoever.
UnspokenX
copypaste code from an existing app, change some names, that'll be 200,000 dollars please.
SacrificialClam
Ha! But the color isn't what I wanted! I am hiring someone else!
fluffballotter
My work makes me do all these things. It is an absolute hell. I need to get out. This recruitment message to me would be a giant red flag.
fourfingersdeep
Must have certification for device you will be working on, oh how do I get the certification?, you have to be trained here ...
nopost
I'll take "Obvious H1B visa scams for $1000, Alex." They know it's impossible, but they can get Sanjar - who'll work for 1/2 the cost - 1/
nopost
to *claim* he has certification for the device. They can then sponsor him for a visa, and BOOM! Same worker numbers, 1/2 the salary costs. 2
Paranemec
Contrary to everyone here, this is what all my jobs have asked for in the past 3 years. They're not looking for "everyone" to apply.
Groovechild
Recruiter sends me entry lvl offers for biotech company. Ask if it's XYZ. Yes it is. Well, I'm a Sr. Tech there now. Read my resume!
Groovechild
BTW, qualifications desired take 3-5 years to attain. This is not an entry level position. Also, position is for a req in my department.
minant
I particularly like the requirement for React and Angular but no listed requirement for JavaScript.
pcam123
Implied though dude. Everyone wants less for more. The logic is one dev can go from idea to Prod
minant
I know, but those are both JavaScript frameworks.
pcam123
Same as saying Spring without saying Java, no point wasting time on candidates who don't know the framework is the attitude
pcam123
Most decent employers will value your abilty to learn and adapt to new frameworks and languages. Most ads are mashed up by HR
ridetheshoopuf
Also if you expect somebody to have years of experience at all of them, you are kidding yourself. More width of knowledge = less of depth
Kinvaris
True. But if you specialize in a certain product / technology you will attract short term contracts for integrating or maintaining smth 1/2
Kinvaris
Whilst if you have a wider knowledge you will likely be more qualified or attract more long term contracts. 2/2
JohnMike64
Say that to all the Angular JS Devs.
ridetheshoopuf
Some of you may have misunderstood what I am trying to say here. Yes, a jack-of-all-trades of sorts is needed for certain jobs. What I am...
ridetheshoopuf
...getting at is, that person is far from competent to do the job at any of those things. Don't expect the person who has 5 years of...
ridetheshoopuf
...experience doing all of these to be able to do the job of somebody who has done one of them for 2 years. It doesn't work like that.
mynamespaul
Well... years of experience where each of these were one of 7 things you looked at in a week
kanaroney
Not a dev but this seems to be a trend in a lot of fields. I often see ads asking one person to do the job of 3-4 people.
usedpatiofurniture
I'm a dev and it roughly translates to "we're too cheap to find two people so we'll hire one for all roles"
kanaroney
It basically translates to: I have no idea what this role actually is, and I'm only willing to find out by guessing.
JeYdevoir
As a full-stack dev I have extensive experience with 3 or 4 of these and mild interactions with the rest; but technically I've touched all!
bobmo2009
Same; I’m in finance and they ask for an entire accounting, accounting management, financial analysis expert and strategic thinking cfo in 1
kananjana
good touch or bad touch.
adiving
As a sysadmin I can say the exact same :')
adr1an
It looks like a BS job... on the other hand, well organized projects do function that way, the team does a little bit of everything (1/2).
Paranemec
This is every job I've worked for the last 5 years.
adr1an
Ouch. And I assume you started 5 years ago, not that it used to be better. Engineers need to learn to actively say no, it's a big problem.
adr1an
(2/2) The difference between a good project and this one is that the tech stack needs to be focused, to be chosen for a narrow purpose.
AllHailTechnoViking
As a pm from the mechanical/ offshore industry: a Project Engineer does a bit of everything. The rest is for the Subject Matter Specialists
adr1an
with software, the trend is reversing. the engineering team has a broad scope, while managers coordinate narrower vertical across teams ...
adr1an
...most of the industry is still operating closer to how you're used to, how it's been done in other industries, but the tech giants are...
adr1an
... quickly changing this paradigm as they found more efficient to have a reversed company structure, engineers having more authority.
JeremyDunn
I feel like some of these are made up. Lol
dreikommavierzehn
All of the listed technologies are real
Nikolai5
Its really not. I don't use LinkedIn because recruiters are a damn menace on that platform.
Bojingles
It's not. My cybersecurity job interview asked if I knew SQL, Java, JavaScript, HTML, Python, C++, and more. Recruiters are wild.
nopost
"Do you know every major/popular language out there? No? Go fuck yourself."
SavageDrums
It's okay, they're willing to pay $13/hour, so...
Paranemec
These jobs are usually around $75-$100/hr.
SavageDrums
They should be, but they rarely are...
Paranemec
The local places offer $30-45/hr for these jobs and think it's competitive, but I work remote and have never had issues starting at $75
Kazpur81S
Or the requirement for many years of experience on a system that’s only been around for a couple years.
Newlyof
Yes! This is doing my head in at the moment.
Amonrob
I saw an employment ad in Toronto Star back in the 90s requiring 5 yrs Java exp when it had only been around for 3. Quit my 3yr diploma.
catherinecc
Hey, they tried, but couldn't find an American with that skill set so they were "forced" to get a H1B applicant they can underpay.
bleedingHeel
We can't pay you more, think of all the expenses our poor company has exploiting all these immigrants
aliendepict
Saw a job posting last month that was looking for a sys admin with "15 years of Azure experience". Cracked up...
FluffyGreyJedi
Better get your experience in the hyperbolic time chamber
LordNergal
Once the first fusion power plant is built: "Need nuclear engineer with ten years of experience running fusion reactors."
BenSpacey
To be fair we've had fusion reactors for decades, just not ones capable of producing net power.
Counterfit
I think net power has been achieved, just not for very long
LurkerPro66
Wasn't there a guy who actually applied for a job, they wanted 5yrs exp. on a programming language that he himself developed 2yrs before?
Kirj4v4
So the story goes
Colopty
I think there have been multiple cases of that, though you generally see it with frameworks instead of entire languages.
Excludos
omfg. Link? I need a good laugh today
Excludos
nvm, found it :) https://twitter.com/tiangolo/status/1281946592459853830
CrypticalEnvelopement
Yes, that's what the comment is based on
PicassoCT
https://www.reddit.com/r/ProgrammerHumor/comments/4p8rii/company_wants_10_years_of_nodejs_experience/
PicassoCT
Or that one: https://static.boredpanda.com/blog/wp-content/uploads/2020/07/unrealistic-criteria-hiring-professionals-recruiters-1.jpg
PicassoCT
Tl,Dr; Recruiters are clueless and the companys who use them even more so.
Wellkiiid
Looks like front end, back end and Dev ops
oifaen
Tech lead here... the list is fair.
mattrixk
As a front end dev, I thought he was making half of these up
Boksha
AKA full stack. Issue is you can't hire someone with experience in ALL of that; get someone with exp in some and they'll pick the rest up.
Tariovic
And a DBA.
ryushi5
Just need to be able to use the databases, not necessarily administer them.
mildlyinappropriate
Could someone make a post on the structure of an I.T. dept? It seems complex and to outsiders it's not obvious.
bshodokai
Every company can be different and many roles have crossover, also IT means different things to different people (help desk vs development)
nickdillinger
I was going to say, dev ops could be seperated into a different role, but it's a joke, so we'll all just play along. http://i.imgur.com/9MZ
spookyactionatadistance
I work with Java, React, PHP, EC2 on AWS, MongoDB and SQL, some of our apps use Docker. The thing is I work with that I don't put the
spookyactionatadistance
2) DevOps system in place, I don't do the DB modélisation and for Java I don't write the code but I need to understand some of all of that.
Deadmanwalkn
I do Java, php/html/vue, velocity (dont ask), mysql, bigquery, all our apps are dockerized and in gcp. my company DOES have a devops team
FunkyFetusFeet
This
pinkmansaidthebest
15 years Minimum experience, starting pay 24k...DOE.
Paranemec
Range is around $75-$150/hr (USD) depending on the level they're hiring for.
safetcup
Over here, they pay 80-100k CDN$ and we hire from France because there's not enough dev in Montreal.
GuyusTallus
How much experience do you have to have for such a salary?
safetcup
3-5 years
Spiderbubble
How do they feel about hiring half American half European people who speak French but are not French?
safetcup
If you speak French, usually you get it.
spookyactionatadistance
I got a junior front end job with 0 exp at 50k and that was low. I took it because the company is great and the benefits are amazing
vinny8boberano
Which company? Asking for...me.
spookyactionatadistance
It's in Montreal. I'll send you the info in DM
vinny8boberano
I don't speak or read French well enough to work there. Thank you though!
agrimprime001
Hi assistant director of an IT Department here. The reason you see this kind of thing is because HR/corporate requires a needed skills list
Urgalicity
Hi, you just explained why people hate both HR and management. Learn how to do your job.
Paradox1111
I have been in your position.. tell your bosses to get a better slave trader
BronzeLeaguePro
In Norway, it's typical to write "one or more of", and "willing to learn" for some weird reason.
catherinecc
Hr/corporate is deliberately doing this so they can save on salary by getting a H1B applicant they can abuse.
lostlittletimeonthis
I was hired for an sql position even though I explained i only knew about excel but hr thought it was the same
catherinecc
Lol, we need stories.
lostlittletimeonthis
It was a weird interview, i just looked at the HR girl as she apologised to her colleagues, bottom line, sql ppl are more expensive so I'mit
Anonanimal3000
Nice. How'd that go?
Akurei00
Eh, it's about the same.
lostlittletimeonthis
Still working with excel and no sql...
hufflesnuff
HR is a nightmare. They exist solely to keep wages as low as possible. Also to get ten thousand applicants for each job. It's so dumb.
agrimprime001
I think its a business culture thing. My HR are nice people but they have to touch so much stuff it's unrealistic to expect much else.
agrimprime001
Centralization is just an outdated format that needs to be put in a museum where it belongs. Sadly it's hold on global culture is deep.
hufflesnuff
The problem is that the dept. exists in the first place. In that respect, it is a culture thing. Corporate needs to stop hating wage growth.
agrimprime001
Absolutely.
HereDueToYourOnePeskyDownVote
Hi PO in a large bank in the UK (also former infrastructure manager) HR take a call listen to what the team do and dump it in an advert
Newlyof
It's all so stressful.
HereDueToYourOnePeskyDownVote
Aye. Too many HR people think they are experts at everything. Recently did a contract to perm conversion of all software devs.
HereDueToYourOnePeskyDownVote
I have now lost 50% of my team as the Devs went and got better paying jobs. They did this because they thought they could use the pandemic
HereDueToYourOnePeskyDownVote
As a way of strong arming them to take permie roles army reduced rates. To say I am less than impressed is an understatement.
HereDueToYourOnePeskyDownVote
Totally ignore the "must have" *nix or ansible or whatever and then lowball the rate and complain there are no takers.
agrimprime001
But understands nothing about the position other than the list so will make up requirements depending on their mood at the time.
chin2luffy
Right the developer just developed in plane old java and a bit of angular.
KevinStrexcorp
I have rewritten every single job spec for "my" team I've ever been handed. They're always garbage and/or gibberish
Ac1dBurn72
As someone who works specifically with HR departments, they can be the WORST about needing to be in control when they shouldn't be.
chin2luffy
But why ask questions if they are not needed
whitebbwolf
and then wonder when they go one qualified applying. Cause they listed no wage or a laughable one
theprincesslisa
As someone who writes jd’s, it is imperative to work with the department to get an accurate description of the job and requirements.
wkdspd
As someone who has hired a LOT of technical talent over the years, OMG THIS... have had to build dedicated recruiting teams to get it right
whitebbwolf
shame most recruiter or HR do not listen to the depts at all
theprincesslisa
Otherwise you have don’t get quality applicants and it makes recruiting more difficult. ?
MtMuschmore
And then they wonder why they can't find anyone to hire.
agrimprime001
My advice is apply anyway. Normally it's someone in the department leading the interview and if they like you, you're good to go.
Tombliboos
Honestly, they posted this shit when I left my last place. I ruined the post for any new joiner....
lljkstonefish
When HR starts asking fuckbrained questions like that, I like to turn to the technical person and ask what they think about it.
Syko73
Thats only if you make it past the recruiter/HR dept
johnvictor
Yup and their automated system made to look for these particular skills on a resume.
fate47
Where I work, HR also does the initial screening of applications. We know getting past HR to the hiring manager is the hardest part.
agrimprime001
I guess I was lucky. My IT Department is split into 3(software, hardware, and network). So the interview was conducted by the 2 of the 3.
cheekypopos9
This is true. Because they will go on whats in the skills list.
So much harder to go through HR.
cheekypopos9
Than the actual interview itself, I should say.