anlyin
197450
5534
143
Dec 12, 2017 1:56 AM
anlyin
197450
5534
143
mrbenL
No way, totally use soap and wash man. That's so gross.
notacobra
CrazyNZCamel
He butt dialed him
dowingba
Uh... hand soap is fine for your ass.
holymotherofpearl
Around it, sure. In it, and your body absorbs it and you turn into the kid from the exorcist.
KidRocket
Guys, there's a difference between washing your crack and getting the soap up inside your colon.
Mercenarity
Oh my!
shankelstoff
Water is fine. "Oh, there's shit on my hands. Let me just rinse that off with some water."
MindlessJellyfish
Or you know, if you have shit on your hands, use the HAND SOAP for you know, YOUR HANDS
shankelstoff
Nah, man. You don't need soap for fecal matter. That's the point. Just use water on that shit. Pun very much intended.
MagicHelmetOfDick
Is this true? I’m with frank. I’m going to wash my asshole with the hand soap in Morning to confirm this. Wish me luck.
youdontknowhowtoeatmuffjohnsnow
Glad fuck is blacked out on a post about cleaning assholes. My innocence is intact
Pinaplewapi
All you need is one of them pressured butt sprayers
OliverKlosof
Gee whiz wally wonkers I am so turned on right now
GorgeousGen
Buy him baby wipes! Cheaper than adult-targeted wipes.
TempletonFerrariThe3rd
I agree. Just don't flush them. No matter what the packaging says. Especially if it's a septic!
CringeBinge
I don’t care if the package says “Don’t flush”. I’m flushing them. I’m not putting shit into a rubbish bin
GorgeousGen
Just you wait till you have kids!
CringeBinge
I don’t plan on it
sahdad
I power wash my anus with the handheld showerhead every shower but I dont soap it.
theschnook
You should use soap. You probably smell bad.
misspoopsalot
Use baby soap... please... just, normal, unscented, gentle baby soap
PiGiSpi
tbh just water is not enough most times. You need some form of soap if you plan on having someone's tongue in there.
DeviantPhuq
Washing your butthole with soap can cause itching and dry skin and maybe even anal fissures, be careful peeps
Spacelordmuthamutha
FYI all soap is anti-bacterial
bruhwhyiscovfefeisaldreadytaken
There was one time where my friend dared me to clean my asshole w mint shampoo, huge mistake I ever made.
nwall123
Peppermint dr.bronners is the way to go
d0o0o0d
...keep going...
bruhwhyiscovfefeisaldreadytaken
It kept giving you a chill burn on anus every time, and water made it worse same with “breeze”
bruhwhyiscovfefeisaldreadytaken
U have to wait a while for that chill burns to go away... instant relief. TLDR: don’t let any kind related to mint touch your asshole
BlondieBear19
Sounds similar to something I read about ginger root oil...
PiGiSpi
an ex wanted to try toothpast to give it flavor. That was a hilarious mistake
SirSparky99
Oh the puns... they do make a soap called Butt Dial
xrosstalk
Sounds like a terrible app that would call people you know while you are having a nasty shit.
opiboble
... I want to make this now...
guntbagmunkball
This friend OBVIOUSLY does not have a hairy asshole.
58d8fee2
Antibacterial soap usually contains triclosan. Do your own research. Water, though, that just rinses. Water alone doesn't wash shit.
monsieurtomato
https://lacolon.com/article/keeping-clean-use-soap-anus
CrankyLittleStormCloud
We don't keep the triclosan on our skin long enough for it to act though, & it just goes down the drain & leads to growth of superbacteria.
upsetsanity
Nope, banned in the US. Along with most antibacterial additives for soap. https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Triclosan
mckenna310
Only very recently banned. I wonder if they pulled things from shelves that were made before the ban but expire after it.
RupertR
I know a guy who doesn't wash his taint or ass because "that's gay shit man"... suffice it to say he doesn't smell very good
Flyndaran
Ironic as considering your own anus sexually attractive sounds gayer than any basic hygiene could ever be. Not that gay, but still gayer.
sakurafanelia
This just confuses me to hell. And disturbs and disgusts me. https://boingboing.net/2017/10/14/skidmarks-for-everyone.html
RupertR
This guy, on top of being smelly, is the reason for the term "toxic masculinity". Awful to be around
PiGiSpi
Jesus that dude that got mad cuz "men don't wipe" is scary. How could anyone be with anyone like that
Strostkovy
You wash the surface with soap though, right?
turdfergy
We are missing the point here. He's friend zoned so hard. His name in her phone is pankypants and he's talking to her like they're dating.
MrBinns
Just the surface? I go at least 1.5 inches
joeys2323
........so bath time is fun time?
ChristopherKostyshyn
Fun time is at least five inches. Eight in grindr inches.
CringeBinge
I’ve determined this conversation has nothing to do with showering, just wetting the toilet paper with water after a shit
Strostkovy
But that would just leave wet toilet paper on your butt. The stuff is not well known for integroty while wet
CringeBinge
It can be done. Use a dry piece after
PRC21
Thank god they censored ‘fucking’ in a post about washing your asshole with dial soap. Wouldn’t want to tarnish the children.
Kalicula
That's what was behind the back bar ?? I had no idea :/
freelove
SilentSpace8
Hilarious
UncleScarwasright
if they get tarnished, wash 'em with Dial Soap!
aelfer
Same stupidity that makes me cringe when I see us tv series. Torture, cuting off fingers, slitting throats? Sure thing! Tits? Call the cops!
Andalite
A post about assholes and shit. Don't forget about the shit
Habitman
Thank you for your service, we're all just a bunch of shit puppets in your shit play.
ianburrito
Somehow you made children sound like furniture
Szavircu
I thought that was the idea. Seen, not heard, and often sat on, right?
SleepyCat2346
Wait... they aren't? *slowly sits up on "couch"*
shmekie
No but sometimes I sew myself into my couch and watch my roommate jerk off
tehPhreakmang
You mean pledge ISN'T for baby polishing?!
tehPhreakmang
Ya know, I do remember it saying something about keeping out of reach of children, I was like "why? They need to clean themselves up"
ballstotheceiling
This made me laugh even harder than the comment, I wish I could upvote thrice
spookyactionatadistance
I use a mild soap like Dove or Ivory. You clean the outside not the inside. There's no need to have soap inside your butt
Jayson0907
Would make for some interesting bubbles upon tooting though!!
spookyactionatadistance
Now you're giving me ideas. I just got some Double Bubble bubble bath that smells exactly like Double Bubble bubble gum
spookyactionatadistance
Try saying that 10 times without becoming just happier for saying it
Jayson0907
Just tried and yes...I'm now tickled pink. Haha!
Jayson0907
Now you're talking!! Where'd you get that by the way?? Asking for a friend. ;)
spookyactionatadistance
Dollar store
Jayson0907
Hmmm. Ok! Like Dollar General? Or an actual dollar store?
Jayson0907
Oh! And I hope you have a very happy New year!! With all the bubblegum bath bubbles your heart desires!
TheVaginalBelch
KhrisBKream
MagillaGorillaTheStoneColdKilla
DurendaI
Reallybadpoet
WHATILEARNEDINBOATINGSCHOOLIS
Grate ass
ContagiousOutrageous
I angrily laughed at this. Angry that it's a good pun on a disturbing gif
joemeister420
psychouroboros
This disturbs me on more levels than I thought possible.
majorpaingoat8888
I love imgur and how brilliant "most" exchanges are but I'm with you. Guess the brighter the light........
StopAskingMeForAnAccountImgurIWannaLurk
joeys2323
RoloTonyBrown
CoachL4D
quattroformaggix4
Hahahaha, can you imagine The Judy’s response to knowing half of the shit that is on imgur?!
insomniaticdaydrifter
Grate Balls of Fire
StopAskingMeForAnAccountImgurIWannaLurk
roguechikken
Sauce?
Knazoo
.
TrueNorthernLights
fpach520
StopAskingMeForAnAccountImgurIWannaLurk
ARandomHelljumper
Thecreatorofthejonasbrothers
At first I was horrified by this, but seeing all these reactions was totally amazing and made it worth it.
OCDhazard
.
furrydumpsterfire
This isnt the worst thing ive seen done with a cheese grater and a butt.
LunaChic
You saw the raccoons too?
AdrocThurston
TheVainyKnight
KeyMasher
StopAskingMeForAnAccountImgurIWannaLurk
Jewmonster1000
Stealing this......... I paid you an up vote though so we even bro
travelintimeinc
The censoring does nothing!
TheGuyWhoSaysHi
Why.....why did this have to be upvoted as to be one of the top comments....?
sleckd
WonderfunkJones
Was not expecting this one. Was amused.
myusernamebringsalltheboystotheyardandtheyrelikeitstoodamnlong
XtraDownvote
myusernamebringsalltheboystotheyardandtheyrelikeitstoodamnlong
bananist
youaresoverywrong
A careful warning to those of you who shower after every solid bowel movement. Showering too frequently can cause unhealthy conditions (1)
Mercenarity
I remember having this mind-boggling convo on a forum years ago. Who has time to shower after every poop? And holding it all day is bad.
Flyndaran
I shower daily, but rarely poop more than once a day. Some times I go a couple of days between. There's lots of healthy variation.
Mercenarity
Seriously, if they're looking for a cleaner wipe, get some of those flushable wet rags. o.O
youaresoverywrong
(2) to put it simply, your body has all sorts of essential oils, bacteria and even viruses that it /needs/ to keep it's immune system strong
youaresoverywrong
(3) bathing too frequently will wash it all away. which can lead to a compromised immune system, trouble with digestion, oily or patchy
youaresoverywrong
(4) skin, & worse smelling BO. So if you absolutely need to wash your hole every time, make or buy some pH neutral baby wipes.
Flyndaran
Too much is bad is a tautology. It's that no one agrees on how often is too often.
MindlessJellyfish
If you use baby wipes please throw them into the trash and do not flush them. Baby wipes don't break apart nearly as easily as (continued)
MindlessJellyfish
Toilet paper does and that can cause some serious buildup problems in the sewers
storeboughtqueso
As a certified massage therapist, please please please wash your ass crack. No soap in the vagina but wash up the crack. That smell can waft
Santooth
I mean yeah, but not every time you shit. That's kinda crazy.
RageSamurai
every time
MagicHelmetOfDick
As a certified wafter, I can confirm.
IKnowYouHateMeYes
Preach it. For god's sake, preach it
Canoodlespleathe
As a midwife, I second this.
afriendofmine
Whats a midwife?
storeboughtqueso
Someone specializing in pregnancy, childbirth, postpartum, women's sexual and reproductive health.
Shimthesham
Also a massage therapist. Moved to FL recently. Lots of stinky old people buttholes, it’s a real problem.
FesteringStump
I read a letter from a woman whose guy never even wiped as it was too gay to put anything between cheeks. Freaked at her suggesting it.
monsieurtomato
https://lacolon.com/article/keeping-clean-use-soap-anus
SomebodyDoneMessedUpNow
La colon lol
ifiguredwhatthehell
Oh GOD YES. LMT here. Can verify. :(
Lesbiandez
I've just realised how much more gross a word 'waft' is than moist.
Bassaker
Can you feel the moist waft rolling over your face
orbitn
i never thought moist was gross, but waft? yup.
fitlex
New band name, The Wafting Moistness
MasterSavage
The Moist Waft
whatevsies
The wafting waffles
afriendofmine
Wafting waifus
Poxopi
Why no soap in vagina?
orbitn
I wouldn't know but i would assume the intention is that it tastes nasty.
GutsTheStruggler
As my sister who is an ObGyn puts it: Your vagina is a self-cleaning oven. For the love of god, leave it alone and if something smells 1/2
SomeAngelDude
DON'T start baking buns 2/2
MikeZuckleburg
Soap is too alkaline. It disrupts the natural acidity of the vaginia which protects it from infection. Soap shouldn't be used internally.
jdavis1186
Messes up the PH balance or something. I don't know, I don't have one.
BhawbTheMagnificent
They clean themselves, soap just fucks that up.
GutsTheStruggler
REALLY wrong, consult someone who knows how to fix it.
TaggerXA
ceepurps
Soap on vulva = fine. Soap up vagina = gonna fuck you up Like you wash the entrance to your nose, but you don't squirt dial up each nostril
amidoingthisrightdog
Death, preceded by painful infection.
SundogHooray
There's a bacteria balance in there; if you wipe it all out you can get yeast infections
CastleIsGreat
Well they do make soap just for that specific purpose. So if say use one of those.
orangechocolate
well not in, but around of course is fine...
AceLynch
How do people NOT use soap (shampoo/bodywash/etc) to wash their ass? If you don't, you're just a shitty person. #washdatass
Threadnomancer
Literally #poopparticles
Laux1918
I use Cetaphil Gentle Skin Cleanser.
BigAZNMan
Sounds like some of the people at my gym who have also never cleaned their arm pits or heard of deodorant.
cyno01
Yeah jeez. I mean i use irish spring bodywash not dial, but yes, soap your butthole.
tofudisan
"Shitty person" snicker. Good one!
littlestchild
It’s important for women not to get soap on their front bum though. Gives you bacterial imbalances, thrush etc
njr12
I have a body loofa and an ass one. Regular body wash for both. Super simple
GremGrem
Just karate chop it in the shower really fast
sakm
Fucking Gav, I swear to god...
LivingDecomposition
Seriously who showers and doesn't
Pixel8yt
Agreed
monsieurtomato
https://lacolon.com/article/keeping-clean-use-soap-anus
GoodGraces
Onnnnllllly you can make my bum feel clean.
LizardEnterprises
Soap, yes. Alcohol-based disinfectant, no.
dearnewoikkinhowsapollo
You better wash yo ass (if you must)- Del the Funky Homosapien
ANGRYBATMAN
THP3 nostalgia
dearnewoikkinhowsapollo
Exactly
logantip
Or else you'll be funkyyy
Ziranzito
Don't use soap to often... Many nasty dermatological diseases you can get from frequent soap on anal skin.. Same kind
Ziranzito
Of skin as you have in your vagina or on your penis tip.. Same rules apply
JustALullabi
Yes in the shower. No after just being on the toilet.
Bassaker
Is that you Tariq Nasheed https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=s90NUW4RSJU
Laynal
there are detergents specifically made to make your asshole, penis/vagina squeaky clean.
OuchYoureonmyhair
I even give a squirt of douche in there when I'm finished with the first hole.
upvotehypnotoad
So important even The Beastie Boys rapped about it "...and if you wash your ass you best use soap!"
dohrmiester39
And to quote the great orator, del tha funky homosapien explained that "you gotta wash your ass! or else you'll be funkay"
DaithiUK
Quoting the rhetorician Jean Grae, 'Sixteen, keep you dicks clean cause anything else is motherfucking sickening.'
thisaccountisnotentirelyjustforsmut
*If...
upvotehypnotoad
Yeah, I might have changed that part in the lyric to "when"
TheBlackWindHowls
You shampoo your ass? The lady's not talking about never cleaning your ass (like in the shower), she's saying not to soap it after a poo.
Ipoopwhenilaugh
Shampoo it? That's some Chewbacca level ass hair!
TheBlackWindHowls
hand soap*
ImKimJongUnAndEverythingIsFine
This bitch acting like “antibacterial” soap is more special than soap that isn’t labeled antibacterial. It’s all the same shit.
REDF0RMANSF00T
Nope. Soap is soap unless it’s antibacterial. Then it’s Dial. Don’t you watch the commercials?!
flamingflamingo
There is a difference between antibacterial soap and regular soap. I tried to avoid buying antibacterial.
ImKimJongUnAndEverythingIsFine
No it’s exactly the same thing. We’re in the middle of passing a law saying you can’t put antibacterial on soap packaging because it’s BS
flamingflamingo
After a quick google, antibacterial soap isn't any more effective, but it has the ingredient triclosan which does distinguish it.
TheManOfBronze
I just buy a big bottle of 3-in-1 soap. One washcloth for above the waist, one for below. Lather up with a paint roller. Good times.
ChrisBronson
Paint roller?
TheManOfBronze
Little mini roller, quick and efficient. More even coverage.
BoredZen
oooh, paint rollers are soft! will try.
Abracanawbra
Um, What?
Komer
Set shower head to “deep massage” and jet wash my anus like a damn champion.
Wormbo2
*relaxes* *impromptu enema* *not relaxed anymore*
sbennett3959
*Relaxes* impromptu enema *becomes erect* Seems to be working for me.
Ipoopwhenilaugh
That seems like it may be about more than cleaning. Maybe you like to impersonate a deflating water balloon?
Zrolium
Thats not very healthy though, could damage your ability to hold shit in, in the long run...
OuchYoureonmyhair
So as long as they don't go on a long run...?
Zrolium
I too steer clear of long runs, so far so good.
Pontation
I doubt that, there are large parts of the world that use bidés instead of paper.
Zrolium
I mainly meant the use of the jet stream, but ofc, bidés are fine
Codered97
If you enema yourself sure. But just using the jet around the bootyhole and not up it is fine.
IUseThisAccountForReviews
Washing when showering I can understand, but cleaning your ass with an antibacterial soap after every poop?
Guitarrefreak
Well ... I do wash after every poop as long as I can
WeakReference
It's not uncommon (look up bidet on Google), also USE FUCKEN SOAP TO WASH YOUR CRACK, LITERALLY NOBODY WANTS TO SMELL YOUR SHIT *breathes*
itsjustjake
Certainly with water. Why not soap?
mrthroatwarblermangrove
I have a cousin who takes a full shower after every single poop she takes. Even if she goes like 3 times a day, boom, 3 showers.
ElegantKitty
I have a friend who showers after every poop.
tomatoboy
I do that too, when possible. Picked up the habit over a decade ago when my university withheld toilet paper for our dorm for a month.
ElegantKitty
Well, I has good TP and wet wipes. So good. I also have a bidet attachment now~ :3
tomatoboy
Ah, so you take a little shower. ;-) Bidets are wonderful, wish they’d catch on more.
Chivaxsienpre209
I remember learning in eighth grade that all soaps are antibacterial, if they weren't they woildn't be fucken soap.
yermas
Anti bacterial soap kills bacteria it comes into contact with. Normal soap just moves it
grapesforducks
Most soaps work mechanically; the suds lift stuff off you, rinsing washes it away. Antimicrobial soaps have to kill microbes somehow
Chivaxsienpre209
Somehow huh?
hblb229
Wow, that it's so wrong.
Chivaxsienpre209
https://www.fda.gov/ForConsumers/ConsumerUpdates/ucm378393.htm
Chivaxsienpre209
Its does the exact same thing just companies started adding that term to increase sales.
hblb229
So, all soap is soap. Not all soap is antibacterial soap.
FermanaxusNeovortamin
wait, ppl don't clean themselves after every poop and only wait till they shower? Like not even with wipes?
IUseThisAccountForReviews
Toilet paper does the trick
Corrodias
All that's going to accomplish is training your ass-bacteria to be antibiotic resistant.
TheSpeakerOfTheHouse
After going to the effort of getting the peanut butter out of the shag carpet? Why the hell not?
mrDword
Go to linoleum
elfTastic
...dude I was eating
mutewalking
japh
peanut butter sandwich?
bonjorno7
knuckle sandwich with extra ass
StonerCatJay
I shave
SalsaCat
Do your farts whistle?
cunninglinguist85
Mine come out like little “toots” that wake me up in the morning :)
StonerCatJay
No
imnotdone
Ha!
whatupmyknitters
mine are a lot more whistley when i do have hair. more flappy when it's bald.
ohshizzlemynizzle
Ahahahahahahahahaahhh
KawaiiInari
Laughed so hard I snorted. Thanks, random internet stranger!
fudgesickle
ROFLMAO!!!
bbradf44
This is why I come to imgur
noxiousSaucyBeast
I'm someone who can wipe and wipe indefinitely like a damn permanent marker and still have mud butt, so I shower & bodywash after every poo.
xrosstalk
Ya we used to call that a shower wipe in college.
BethWifeEver
Metamucil. That shit’ll change your life. Nothing but a courtesy wipe.
xrosstalk
"That shit'll change your life." Had to add the verb in there.
Alysaere
More cheese and fiber for you
weatherthehaarp
Exactly, it’s a bad diet that’s causing all this need for showers!
Mavgurian
Chocolate.
Jayson0907
But what happens if you absolutely HAVE to go poo in a public restroom? I mean sometimes you can only pucker for so long before you turtle.
noxiousSaucyBeast
...and I'll still shower asap even after using the wipes
noxiousSaucyBeast
Cottonelle moistened hygienic wipes for a true emergency, otherwise I stay pretty regular and go at the same time daily...thank god
SolidBrassAndHangingLow
What a noxious saucy beast
ZiggyStardust80085
I shower after every poop..i find it wierd that there are people who don’t tbh
xrosstalk
With the drugs I'm on there isn't much "mess" cause I'm constantly dehydrated. So the one shower a day is enough methinks.
FernandoRumdebum
Ha I take morphine so my poops are like bricks. I could probably forgo wiping if I was so inclined. I wouldn't..but I could.
xrosstalk
I know right? Same here I'm on a mix of buprenorphine patches and tramadol now since everyone is paranoid of pure opiates. So dry...
xrosstalk
I think you could build houses with it, it's like masonry.
jsm9474
I do a Constanza and then I shower.
IUseThisAccountForReviews
Efficient. I'm not always at home when I poop though
ZiggyStardust80085
My nightmare! I actually didn't poop for a whole week once on a trip because the facilities were terrible
hexachordalcombinatoriality
Is that the only time you shower or is it in addition to a separate scheduled shower?
tomatoboy
For me...Separate if not contemporaneous with a regular shower.
ZiggyStardust80085
Fortunately, one a day, in the morning, is all i need. But i do wash extra if necesary
BigJewishHulk
Well excuse me for not showering 15-30 times a day!
DokiDokiLove
Who the fuck poops 15-30 times a day? There’s something wrong with your body if you’re going that often
BigJewishHulk
Yes, it's called IBSD. Fully aware it's not normal
TheHornedKing
I get you. I have ulcerative colitis. I am sorry you have to go through that.
tomatoboy
Sorry you have to go through that. :(
tomatoboy
I’m actually surprised you don’t shower after a lot of poops...even baby wipes must leave you raw after 15-30 ppd.