EnormousPanini
147045
3429
147
Double cat tax.
LaBix
#7 I am pretty sure the Spork has existed for my entire life, and no doubt many generations before I was even a glint in the post man's eye.
irongaz
https://youtu.be/46kXH6GGtT0
dmjfourth
#2 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fT5Gpp4W1cA
RecurringNightmare
#13 but you have heard of me
CosmicPeach
Woah our taxes have gone up to two catsworth now? What is this nonsense
PersonaAuGratin
He found about the McPounder in the Restricted Section of Hogwart's Library .
darkhex
#11 FATALITY
FightingRevengeOfYourMom
classic pakalu
Pointsrworthlesshitposting4lyf
Fellow Tortoise shell cat owner, +1 my fine sir
dexlamrg
I love torties!
PartyMagician
#12: Found someone who didn't get hot after middle school
zeusdemigod131
bigeasy44
No but you can order a McGangBang
freakzillapro
1. Backstage at mcdonalds?
barbwirelove
for the hide and seek 1. you're wrong the real champions are on the posters in wal-mart
octothorper
Most McDonalds employees seem to be unaware of all of the McNugget sauce options available. I can't imagine them knowing secret menu items.
kinten
What beautiful cat babies you has!! <3
krazedkarakter
That future thing was just a shitty sport.
krazedkarakter
Spork
squishcat
There is a stray cat looks just like those kitties, and no one in my low income apartment complex is allowed animals. I feed it and feel bad
YesImkazuma
"Ah, but you HAVE heard of me"
creeperklaus
#1 the guys profile pic is the spider character Webber from Don't Starve, amazing game, play it.
sweeneysgirl
Super amazing game!
Duarg
Ironic too because it is a poat about food.
WallacenGromit
Don't starve together. Please play that too I'm lonely :(
ohboyboy
https://img.ifcdn.com/images/51b197e639ba0d47cfe104aae99dbccee28d53f2c351896f4bc9923b1dadf9b8_1.jpg
MRM3TRO
Cute kittehs!
GNiko
How do we know the colour that colour-blind people see is grey? Maybe all they see is shades of red, or green or something.
nommon
#2 pretty sure Jade is green, no?
LifeOfCray
The jade in the picture is a shade of green.
takethebus
Don't know much about the color. But jade the stone can be green or black and a whole myriad of other colors.
seventeenroses
Myriad. Lovely word choice!
MiasmaCorrigan
looks like theres black jade out there.
reasonablemoron
Sounds like a stripper
Catlovescoffe
The color is green, the stone is disappointing brown.
theozzir
I think that guy might be gay
Neo1Matrix
#1 "calls McPolice on my ass" LOL
MRWubbs
McAss would have been even better
TheDarkLordOfTrees
Gonna get a McWhoopin
AbrahamLincolnVampireLawyer
From backstage.
bigeasy44
There is a McGangBang thiugh
Stronghans
Dump started off strong, I was laughing too hard to read the rest.
canibFrank
Damn kids are good at hide and seek. That is some pro-level stuff right there.
KingGranticus
That shits life, I've had games of tag where I run an easy 4:30 mile but if I'm timed in an event I clock a 7:30
canibFrank
Dude, if you run a 4:30 mile during hide and seek, you may want to re-evaluate how you get motivated for races. That's a strong time, yes?
KingGranticus
Yeas but when I tag the other runners they never chase me....
KingGranticus
There's a Biden meme somewhere in there
WombatLordXx
I thought Bin Laden was the hide and seek champion?
KingGranticus
He lost....
KingGranticus
USA!USA!USA!USA!USA!USA!USA!USA!USA!USA!USA!USA!USA!USA!USA!USA!USA!USA!USA!USA!USA!USA!USA!USA!USA!USA!USA!USA!USA!USA!USA!USA!USA!USA!USA!
KingGranticus
USA!USA!USA!USA!USA!USA!USA!USA!USA!USA!USA!USA!USA!USA!USA!USA!USA!USA!USA!USA!USA!USA!USA!USA!USA!USA!USA!USA!USA!USA!USA!USA!USA!USA!USA!
KingGranticus
USA!USA!USA!USA!USA!USA!USA!USA!USA!USA!USA!USA!USA!USA!USA!USA!USA!USA!USA!USA!USA!USA!USA!USA!USA!USA!USA!USA!USA!USA!USA!USA!USA!USA!USA!
KingGranticus
USA!USA!USA!USA!USA!USA!USA!USA!USA!USA!USA!USA!USA!USA!USA!USA!USA!USA!USA!USA!USA!USA!USA!USA!USA!USA!USA!USA!USA!USA!USA!USA!USA!USA!USA!
ozprey
#7 Behold... The Foon!
Gingerbeefe
I think it's just a spork
ozprey
You're just a spork.
Nimbuses
#1 makes me sad. It said mcpounder but I know for a fact u need 10 of those to make a pound and there's only 8.
dagg3r
Quarter pounder is 1 patty.. double is 2, 4 patties is a mcpounder.. 8 patties is a double mcpounder
Nimbuses
your math hurts my brain.
dagg3r
You make no sense..
Xebrus
#5 I once finished a three-hour exam in 18 minutes after an all-nighter of studying, fueled by five bottles of 5-Hour Energy.
NeilMcCutcheon
Oh! The ole 25 hour energy.
Faxxleton
For 25 hours of consecutive energy.
MandaloreIncognito
Or that's what you thought, while you were in the coma from drinking 5 bottles of 5 Hour Energy.
Xebrus
Now -that- would be a story. Passing a business law exam while completely mentally unresponsive. Speaks volumes for the curriculum, right?
CommanderCaribou
Mqn when Skyrim came out I stayed up for a day and a half on monster an pizza. My roommate found me asleep in a chair, sleep eating pizza
CaptainObv
What did you do with the remaining 24 hours and 42 minutes of energy?
Xebrus
Went home and started studying for the exam I had the following day... and then got bored and ran a few marathons.
SwissCheesePervert
What was your grade?????
eversoft
Xebrus
I'm not perfectly sure, it was about ten years ago, but I want to say 82? Some surprisingly high mark, given I was focused on not dying.
MisterOp
Did the five-hour energy actually help you work by keeping you hyperaware and shit, or did it just screw you the fuck up?
Xebrus
It kept my mind awake enough to spend an entire night studying a business law textbook. So I think it did its job flawlessly.
momomo54
I finished one day of the bar exam a couple hours early and lost my shit. I sat in dread that I failed until someone else got up. Passed!
TheDarkLordOfTrees
Did the 3 hours just feel like 15 minutes to you?
Xebrus
Suffice it to say that I checked my watch many, many times until I was allowed to leave.
LifeHasManyDoorsEddBoy
Actually, it would have felt a lot longer. They would have been in a hyper sensory state so they would take in everything, making time 1/
LifeHasManyDoorsEddBoy
Appear slower. Same principle with aging. Your youth seems so much longer because you remember a lot more detail and then years blend.
Xebrus
I wasn't allowed to leave until an hour into the exam. It was the most nerve-wracking 42 minutes of my life.
therealgiraffe
How'd you do on the test?
Xebrus
Got something like an 82, if memory serves. With all that taurine I wasn't actually able to think about anything but the exam material.
therealgiraffe
Dang, not too shabby!
Xebrus
Well, the exam material, and desperately trying not to die from a hubris overdose.
Xebrus
Not because I wasn't sure whether or not I passed the exam, but because I was afraid my heart was going to explode.
WolololoWarrior
But how did you do on the exam!?
Xebrus
I passed it! To the surprised amusement of my professor. Good thing, too, since it was worth 50% of the mark of the entire course.
WolololoWarrior
Wow! Good work man. Surprising, too. At my school a final can only be max 33% of your grade
rapemeokrobmoneyarenot
But did u die?
Xebrus
I got better.
TheLordFoxington
*Yes, but I got better.
Kentuckyproud
https://media.giphy.com/media/h16RSbocrtpo4/giphy.gif
Xebrus
For the mathematically inclined, there are significantly fewer than 25 hours in a night.
TheDarkLordOfTrees
Don't tell me how to live my life
HannibalHoseth
For the grammatically troubled, he means to say "for those who struggle with math".
JK913
Damn that's gotta be at least 12
EagleFace5
I'm the middle of exams right now at university. This speaks to me.
Slover
Uhh.. you should probably put down the phone and finish the exams you're in the middle of. Just saying I think you have a time limit.
EagleFace5
*in the middle
somestrangeryoudontknow
He'll do just fine.... heard McDonald's is going pay $16/hr
Xebrus
Good luck, friend. Don't, uh, don't take my story as inspiration, please.
ttttsunami
Did you pass???
wuttheshit
Actually, depending on your alpha level and the critical t value, "significant" is a bit of an exaggeration. It's 1 hour.
QuizabellaOfBrain
In stats: Me "for the first time in my life I'm good at math!" Prof "stats isn't really math" "It's as close as I'm getting." -Psych major
wuttheshit
I did my bachelor and master in stats and I can assure you, on a fundamental level, stats is math. It's all linear algebra and calculus.
midlipsters
They were talking about in a single night, not an entire day
wuttheshit
That's a good point. I wasn't viewing it like that. In that case, he's right. It's significant.
Xebrus
Specifically speaking, there were less than 25 hours between 10PM, when my previous exam ended, and 8AM, when my next exam started.