bigbrointhesky
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Not the martial art.
We're talking about Judo Spiders.
Judo spiders are spiders who have taken a sworn oath to not use their silk or venom in a fight.
A Judo Spider.
Instead they rely on grapples and holds to subdue their prey.
They are respectable and capable fighters, but all fights are to the death.
Notice this Brazilian Wandering Spider, one of the most dangerous spiders in existence, is doing it's best to fight with honor, even if the wasp is an asshole.
Judo spiders come in all different shapes and sizes. The only true way to see if a spider is a Judo spider is to bow, which will be reciprocated by said spider.
Careful when bowing, as this initiates the battle, and as stated before it's kill or be killed. Once the prey is killed, the corpse is wrapped up and eaten in normal spider fashion.
Do not approach spiders from behind, as this is seen as cowardly and the spider will remove itself from your cowardly presence.
This is rare footage of a man fighting a Judo spider, you can see the spider taking multiple blows that would kill any normal spider.
"Don't worry Honey, I'll get that Spider outta here..."
Notice that the man bows to the spider before attacking it, a big mistake.
If this rustled your jimmies, here's a kitten in the snow to calm you.
Enjoy your day, be happy.
(I know that #3 is not technically a spider, but it's still in the arachnid family, and nobody is excluded from learning the martial arts)
ApricotMuffin
I will upvote but not because of the spider, or the judo, but because of the insect. Pompilidae are rad.
Pennsylvaniastan
AnnaExMachina
#3 I pinch.
MarkSurge9411
AntiCircleJerker
Fucking best post I've seen in a long time.
thereverseapachemaster
Very original. Thanks
porcelainfrankenstein
Had a Brazilian Wandering Spider when I was a kid, we didn't know that it was dangerous.
WHATILEARNEDINBOATINGSCHOOLIS
Nope nope nope nope fuck this shit
DrDoomRoom
Started ok. as it progressed i reacher for the flame thrower but you made me laugh at the end. I have a special room for you.
smarmageddon
I need the source for #10 please.
bigbrointhesky
Superbowl Mentos commercial.
CarrieTG
Lost it at the startled spider
HolyLordXenu
I have used this gift do many times
HolyLordXenu
And this is what I get for using a new phone
fabulousscreech
the one with the long claws is not a spider, it's a tailless whip scorpion, which is a close relative and my personal fav chelicerat3e
theblackking
My jimmies were sooo rustled. Then I actually thought these were real and it was SO COOL despite my fear of arachnids. Then I loled. *bows*
TheHulkIsSweet
I'm expecting some kind of asian joke somewhere but good stuff OP
TheLannistersSendALovelyFruitBasket
It's in there, you just have to squint to see it.
bigbrointhesky
I strike when Judon't expect it.
TheHulkIsSweet
You...keep doing what you're doing
GoodMojo
FrodoShop
What is the source of this gif?
orangearcadi
AT&T commercial
BonaFide
I laughed entirely too hard at this.
GatoSupreme
Good stuff
dontsaydoingyourwife
Great combination of humor, intrigue, and high quality pics. Eight legs up.
RackhamTheRed
#8 goes like http://imgur.com/otM05lO
Hulkhulkthehulkinghulk
The wandering spider vs wasp fight ended in a tie after both died painfully, have seen source
bigbrointhesky
shhh
AdorableTinyKitties
As someone who practices Judo. +1
semirelatedcomments
It's a weirder post but it checks out
XequR
Yeah seriously don't do #8
CatPresident
Upvoting for the cat in the snow. You're right it is very calming.
bigbrointhesky
Thank you Mr. President.
Bobonuke
I fucking lost it at the rare footage of the guy fighting the spider. I NEVER up vote posts unless it's favorited, but this deserves it.
at40mypenisiscalledtheforceawakenssometimesandlasthope
black flyes matter
NoobOfEngland
Is it bad that I thought this was all real until I saw that gif?
FrodoShop
Is it bad it still took me until #10 to realise it wasn't legit?
Mayralejandraaaa
Lol me too.
Bobonuke
Same here, that's what made me laugh so hard.
Mayralejandraaaa
Haha yup.
idontreallycareforthisstuff
What is the sixth spider? I found one by my house and if it's not gonna kill me I'll leave it
bigbrointhesky
It's Nephila pilipes
bigbrointhesky
just don't bow...
HeyOP
So, what is #3 then?
Mind792
It has hands
bigbrointhesky
It's a whip scorpion, equally terrifying.
zhieson
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Amblypygi, very amusing. Pretty harmless to humans but they are scary lookin'.
megapow
Do the grabby bits hurt?
MattTheRadarTechnicianApproves
We're those the things they ate on Fear Factor one episode?
HeyOP
Pretty sweet looking.
FlareonTheFalseProphet
Tailless whip scorpions are extremely nope looking true, but they are entirely harmless to humans
ecodude
Clearly not, as this one is a master of judo.
lesbianyellowsourfruit
....this isn't computer animated? this is real?
Zombraina
They are real. :P They were even used in a HP movie as the spiders "Moody" demonstrates the unforgivable curses on.
bigbrointhesky
It's real, and one's under your bed.
ARandomHelljumper
Time to get my flamethrower out of storage...
TheThingyWithTheThingy
0_0... goodbye sleep forever
oneoldman
Statistically speaking, at least 3 actually