Time for a PSA about Judo.

Aug 16, 2016 3:58 PM

bigbrointhesky

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Not the martial art.

We're talking about Judo Spiders.

Judo spiders are spiders who have taken a sworn oath to not use their silk or venom in a fight.

A Judo Spider.

Instead they rely on grapples and holds to subdue their prey.

They are respectable and capable fighters, but all fights are to the death.

Notice this Brazilian Wandering Spider, one of the most dangerous spiders in existence, is doing it's best to fight with honor, even if the wasp is an asshole.

Judo spiders come in all different shapes and sizes. The only true way to see if a spider is a Judo spider is to bow, which will be reciprocated by said spider.

Careful when bowing, as this initiates the battle, and as stated before it's kill or be killed. Once the prey is killed, the corpse is wrapped up and eaten in normal spider fashion.

Do not approach spiders from behind, as this is seen as cowardly and the spider will remove itself from your cowardly presence.

This is rare footage of a man fighting a Judo spider, you can see the spider taking multiple blows that would kill any normal spider.

"Don't worry Honey, I'll get that Spider outta here..."

Notice that the man bows to the spider before attacking it, a big mistake.

If this rustled your jimmies, here's a kitten in the snow to calm you.

Enjoy your day, be happy.

(I know that #3 is not technically a spider, but it's still in the arachnid family, and nobody is excluded from learning the martial arts)

I will upvote but not because of the spider, or the judo, but because of the insect. Pompilidae are rad.

9 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 1

9 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

#3 I pinch.

9 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

9 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

Fucking best post I've seen in a long time.

9 years ago | Likes 5 Dislikes 0

Very original. Thanks

9 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

Had a Brazilian Wandering Spider when I was a kid, we didn't know that it was dangerous.

9 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

Nope nope nope nope fuck this shit

9 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

Started ok. as it progressed i reacher for the flame thrower but you made me laugh at the end. I have a special room for you.

9 years ago | Likes 9 Dislikes 0

I need the source for #10 please.

9 years ago | Likes 10 Dislikes 0

Superbowl Mentos commercial.

9 years ago | Likes 7 Dislikes 0

Lost it at the startled spider

9 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

I have used this gift do many times

9 years ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 0

And this is what I get for using a new phone

9 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

the one with the long claws is not a spider, it's a tailless whip scorpion, which is a close relative and my personal fav chelicerat3e

9 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

My jimmies were sooo rustled. Then I actually thought these were real and it was SO COOL despite my fear of arachnids. Then I loled. *bows*

9 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

I'm expecting some kind of asian joke somewhere but good stuff OP

9 years ago | Likes 21 Dislikes 0

It's in there, you just have to squint to see it.

9 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 1

I strike when Judon't expect it.

9 years ago | Likes 31 Dislikes 0

You...keep doing what you're doing

9 years ago | Likes 7 Dislikes 0

9 years ago | Likes 68 Dislikes 1

What is the source of this gif?

9 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 1

AT&T commercial

9 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

I laughed entirely too hard at this.

9 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

Good stuff

9 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

Great combination of humor, intrigue, and high quality pics. Eight legs up.

9 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

#8 goes like http://imgur.com/otM05lO

9 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

The wandering spider vs wasp fight ended in a tie after both died painfully, have seen source

9 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

shhh

9 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

As someone who practices Judo. +1

9 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

It's a weirder post but it checks out

9 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

Yeah seriously don't do #8

9 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

Upvoting for the cat in the snow. You're right it is very calming.

9 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

Thank you Mr. President.

9 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

I fucking lost it at the rare footage of the guy fighting the spider. I NEVER up vote posts unless it's favorited, but this deserves it.

9 years ago | Likes 238 Dislikes 7

Is it bad that I thought this was all real until I saw that gif?

9 years ago | Likes 22 Dislikes 0

Is it bad it still took me until #10 to realise it wasn't legit?

9 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 1

Lol me too.

9 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

Same here, that's what made me laugh so hard.

9 years ago | Likes 9 Dislikes 1

Haha yup.

9 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

What is the sixth spider? I found one by my house and if it's not gonna kill me I'll leave it

9 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

It's Nephila pilipes

9 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

just don't bow...

9 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

So, what is #3 then?

9 years ago | Likes 18 Dislikes 0

It has hands

9 years ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 0

It's a whip scorpion, equally terrifying.

9 years ago | Likes 22 Dislikes 0

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Amblypygi, very amusing. Pretty harmless to humans but they are scary lookin'.

9 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Do the grabby bits hurt?

9 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

We're those the things they ate on Fear Factor one episode?

9 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

Pretty sweet looking.

9 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

Tailless whip scorpions are extremely nope looking true, but they are entirely harmless to humans

9 years ago | Likes 13 Dislikes 0

Clearly not, as this one is a master of judo.

9 years ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 0

....this isn't computer animated? this is real?

9 years ago | Likes 5 Dislikes 0

They are real. :P They were even used in a HP movie as the spiders "Moody" demonstrates the unforgivable curses on.

9 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

It's real, and one's under your bed.

9 years ago | Likes 12 Dislikes 0

Time to get my flamethrower out of storage...

9 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

0_0... goodbye sleep forever

9 years ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 0

Statistically speaking, at least 3 actually

9 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0