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AI invents paint colors after analyzing Benjamin Moore color chart
me irl
jbrum
#3: Its only torn a couple inches
bthomp116
#3 "No, haha. I'm never going to die. But if there's a possibility I could, I don't want it to be tonight"
Cersi2271
#3 this is why I have job security
iwanttoseeyourkitties
#3 "That's what At&t does."
devilsgolfcourse
#3 The ladybugs are fucking shit up.
reggiekage
theruggbeast
#3 I'll survive
libraryian
#3 Weird. Does it hurt?
notthatdrunk
#3 "for dessert?"
LeeTheEnginee
#3 Not as busy as earlier.
SurpriseBidet
#3 "oh now I'm hungry, let's get ramen"
tedcrilly
#3 But anyways, how do you feel being pregnant this time around?
BooBitchesIAmAGhost
#3 any news on the house?
Scanlonm123
#3 "Bro"
Xaio30
#3 "I'm in the workshop. I'll call you later."
diphenhydraminehcl50mg
oh that one is damning
ZajotheLurker
#3 "So I'm just gonna shoot him an email about what happened when I get back."
MrDrProfessorPatrick
#3 Needless to say, but my balls are legit perma-hairy now.
Olliepic
Alrighty then
SergeiBoobtitsky
Uhhh...
TheRedOnesTasteLikeBurning
#3 I'll get a cheap cut somewhere and check back with you in a little while.
diphenhydraminehcl50mg
that is evident
Patmyjohnson327
#3 "Jellybean time"
bantambasher135
I don't know why but this one is my favorite.
Motorboatingtiddys
#3 "Yeah I took the dog out earlier"
Heysuckmybatarang
Weirdly enough, mine is "Boooom. He can try and accuse you all he wants but there's no proof."
bobstallone
with a grenade or two.
hibsta
#3 Oh nice. Have fun honey
rassingpedersen
#3 - yea she is not coming in tomorrow.. still sick i think..
diphenhydraminehcl50mg
that's not like her, can i talk to her?
Mrbigmick
#3 "Oh yea, im free on the 7th now"
yourhros
haha, pure gold
thatmangodude
#3 Just smacked a rabbit going almost 50. Car's fine
AsTheHeavensShudderBabyIBelongToYou
Wow, that's pretty fast for a rabbit...
SwiftBlackWolf
Is he ok
thatmangodude
When I looked back he had landed safely in the ditch so...
SwiftBlackWolf
Oh good his familys probably there, they'll be happy to see him
ClareLittle
Yeah, it's resting
BROcrastinatION
U know this is going to the front. Congrads.
TwistedBlue
This is the bestest dump of June!
Istoleyourbooks
#3 "yes" to a question if we should just pay for someone else to clean the apartment when we move out in a few days.
Anamesolongnoonecouldhavepossiblychosenit2
#3 How about the time I smashed my face open and the doc was like yeah you're concussed, may have a hairline fracture so just take it easy
DontReadMyBioPlsItsPrivate
Mine is just a YouTube link
AtlasUnbound
Probs a snuff film lmao
DontReadMyBioPlsItsPrivate
https://youtu.be/25lRgvei-dQ that's what it was
AtlasUnbound
That's what we folk in the trade call a "joke" sonny
DontReadMyBioPlsItsPrivate
Yeah I got that part. No need to be condescending. I was just sharing something I thought was funny
clearwall
You actually texted that to someone? What is the real context?
Anamesolongnoonecouldhavepossiblychosenit2
Friend of mine is currently in the hospital so we were sharing ER stories. That happened like a couple years ago, everything healed properly
fluhatinrapper
#3 hope you have fun tonight! :)
Drakeoulias
#3 my text was " when do you estimate you'll be home"
LightsCamerasAction
But hey at least you found the cause. Now you know my pizza pains haha
deededee
"Sorry, I get a free lunch"
WynautZorua
"Why not check it out? It might be worth the while."
JohnGetz
Last one was "how about we order Chinese instead?"
Hellstorm99
"F***ing autocorrect"
ecuadorky
"Are you guys fighting or something?"
KrombopJr
My text was "where'd you go?"
CobraClutch
"Be down in a minute."
Mossanony
"Yep. After taxes are added"
Iloveanonymityandilovebeingnoticed
"Yep."
PenicilliumCamemberti
mine was: "It was an experimental procedure and the doctor who did it retired". Oh dang.
LaLaLoveBug
This needs to be in the main comment thread
PenicilliumCamemberti
You're probably right. I'll make another comment. ;)
delijohn
"Hi iv got various bodys here at the station now they are saying the guys will be here possibly at about 13:30"
kbluvvs2surf
I'm making an appointment tomorrow. What do I do now?
SinisterScienceLesbian
"It's pink inside but I'm not sure I trust it"
WallpaperQuotes
"I mean, he's not wrong. We're just a bunch of sentient meat with some skin." uhh
MrPredator
"Just tell me the time to be there and I'll help.
SpecimenSpiff
Mine is "Yup, hope she sleeps good tonight."
foxesonboxes
Dang it, I wish I would have gone!
TheShoulderTornado
Mine was "Elsa?"
goodjobmyfellowman
Buzzfeed told me she's gay
bobstallone
Tried to make spaghetti, accidentally summoned a demon.
ninjabassoonist
"Maybe just a bit dead"
buckbuckbuckybuck
Mine was a gif of Benedict singing "come with me".
buckbuckbuckybuck
Benedict cumberbatch specifically
chaostheory10
"There's a milk tea for you in the fridge." I'm not quite sure what to make of that.
VelociRandom
Good plan. Pretend nothing happened, and they will never find out.
SmiffyBoi
Mine is genuinely "Anyway, what are we doing tomorrow?"
LostCatWantedDeadAndAlive
"I'm outside. Over by the Halloween store."
srslydude
"I'm in the parking lot."
tThomas633
Mine was "still im happpy". Yes, including the typo.
pendrell
"this was for you" (context: response to a "wrong person?" text)
civel
"I'll be there. Not in top form tho."
scottynack
Mine was, "are you getting along with the roommates?"
duke605
"Idk, all over"
SPECTREagent
¯\_(ツ)_/¯
iamkyleh
"Yes"
VelociTrapLord
"How's Dinner look?"
VapingRobot
" wish I had the day off."
MySpiffyUsername
I laughed a good few seconds because mine was, "Why does your sister need a gun?"
AstartesLibrarius
Mine was "Do we need one bottle or two?"
OutOfScope
Unplug the router and plug it back in. Looks like it went down.
iDrinkDrano
"Where you at homegirl"
PrincesssButtercup
"That room looks really nice" no joke
VladTheInhaler1
"Happy birthday dude!"
JustHereForever
"I have to clean some dishes anyway"
3VILM30W
"in case anything happens to me, you'll get 25k from life insurance"
Bliffity
"There's blood all over the corner walls and window yet it somehow did not touch the lamp or the small T.V. in front of it."
whathefak
"Brb"
RaisinDeath
"It was a fun weekend"
snarebears
"I'll be home soon"
iheartpuffins
":) yeah it's been a while. I've been bogged down in work last few months. We are making some changes and changes mean more work for me. "
Primaltiguere
To my wife: "sooo.. come home"
erickwhite9
"Do you guys have garden shears"
HAupvote
" if murder was legal SARAH! You wouldn't be here."
XaiaX
"And the answer appears to be '¯\_(ツ)_/¯'"
RealFuckinNeeto
My god I start tomorrow
HowDoesYouDo
"It can't be that bad right?"
FrankieValleyAndTheFourKindgoms
Cmon I just pulled the steaks off the grill
YoshuaTerror
We'll leave the watering can on the back porch.
JoyReaper
It's fine I'm actually gonna get in the shower soon.
akaHighway
"Maybe it was because I repeated myself like ten fucking times, Joseph!"
Rickster23
Are you at grandma's
MichaeIJCaboose
No you dont
HelpImInABox
"Hell of a time for no wifi" lol
Quarantane
"I wonder if anyone listened"
ilovefunsocks
"Come on Scott, get it together"
Showmeyourotters
This is funnier when you read it in a very literal sense. My first thought was yelling at Scott for exploding on everything. AGAIN.
msa011
"So um more pics pls?"
LadyAz
"I just rolled over to snuggle the kitty" D:
TheElusiveEnchilada
"I have regret."
Polaristars
*regert
Aratarya
Mine: "Yay! Can you move the vacuum" Husband's: "LOL, I'll warn mom."
Joshdamon
"I thought you'd think the idea of me marrying bread to be very stupid."
nuggsthefinalgirl
Just wanted to remind you that I love you.
spaerkles
Ah the things we do for love!
Hostess2304
"Any luck?"
JumboJimbobChills
"I'm waiting on the price from head office x"
Softcreamybeige
"Dad said to do this"
Acehigh8383
"Better now?"
Teganrose1
I'm by the church, you wouldn't mind?
IDidntDoIt
"I can't have serious conversations after my bedtime because I'm a child.
Grundhoog
Mine was "I AM RESPONSIBLE FOR THEM" because i thought my friend melted my charity flamingoes.
LasagneIsMyOneTrueLove
I am gonna miss her antics!
PineappleIsDeliciousOnPizzaFightMe
"Where are you?"
MrSleepyguy
"Leeeeeeel" idk, kinda psychotic?
bbecks
"My day has been good. Slobber free, though"
spaerkles
WHAT DID YOU DO TO THE DOGGY!?
bbecks
Hahaha it was actually in response to someone who works at a Service Dog training company and got slobbered on
Rekthobo
"Wait shit I didn't mean to send that"
CrazyyDogPerson
Just talked to the doctor moms surgery went well
NetflixIsLove
It said seven business days
TheBlackVan
Who's gay?
mastoor
"Having a fire tonight, you around?"
DirteeSantos
"I don't think I can come into work today"
iforwardnudestomydad
Mine was "yeah, after last weekend works a lost cause"...
AtlasUnbound
"I could probably handle this if I wasn't so crammed with work this summer."
jonigod24HUN
"successful transaction now your account balance is 14000HUF."
DocBenny
"Thanks mate"
cocapoda
"Who are you with?"
dezzy27
Too many ketchups
capitalsm
"It scares me to know others have similar abilities"
icarusglider
"on our way back"
originalityisnotmystrongsuit
"Ya, I'm grabbing a bite. I'm here if you need me."
flippywizgig
"It's hard for me to concentrate while I'm being pummeled"
TheStealthHippopotamus
I'll see Will at 2:30
IGotLostNEndedUpHere
Hopefully it's nothing serious
ColRhys
'Yes Boss'
Erinsays
Ugh, our interns are the WORST
SteriotypicalCanadian
"I cant eat that bro"
DeltaDin
"Oh yeah."
MisterOp
"yes"
AnActualAustralian
"Did they find the leak problem?"
JasonWaterfaIIs
"Knock knock"
CairoLen
"Did you get your period yet? Please say yes!"
Muzzleshield
Okay
imolegregg
"That's all I'm saying"
DoctorHedgehog
Make sure the outside lights are off, please.
5thVecino
You guys able to hang out for a bit Thursday evening 7-9ish?
Cocacoladinosaur
"You'd be more than welcome at my place." :.D
DustyistheMuffin
"Nighty night snookems"
TearingMeApartLisa
"just leaving now"
Abomb2933andstuff
"Carmmunism"
TheyDoneKilledOlRando
It's fine. I'm fine.
FlyingCrow91
"I'm not going"
Latenightwang
"I'm trying to stay awake"
DeadEndRoad
"something to help you sleep"
illenshen
Brownies bitches!
sarcasticravenclaw
"All done with my appointment"
Riul
"I wanna fell asleep feeling your skin against mine"
Turkeltonthe2nd
What's the password?
hawairishman
"Also, I need a shower when I get home"
JimGordan
"Yes that is it"
textrixx
"it could just be arthritis"
MoreMajorSins
"I'm a little uncomfortable about it but I did it" Holy shit, that couldn't have been better!
elkillerduck
Wing Wednesday?
meddlesomeDic
are you sure you understand the definition of "compromise"?
alittletime
"Haha good"
Technocratic
And I hope you have fun with your family
clofart
"TWO DICKS IN MY ASS NEVER BOTHERED ME ANYWAY," Not even joking.
NotQuiteAMopNotQuiteAPuppet
"I'm not a believer but that feels pretty blasphemous"
ShawnSnax
"We'll finally get to go swimming!"
thatsrealyme
You're not gonna believe this! It's beyond awesome!
BigMutts
Today was fine
OmegaMudkipz
"Missed the r in the middle there"
puppygif
Maybe we can test it.
wibblywobblytimeywimey
The winking kiss emoji....
scnottaken
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AlwaysAMess
"Dinner works for me"
r0b0c0rp
"ooh, shady"
IsuckAsthis
"The cat didn't like her sponge bath"
OtherPeoplesNamesGetMePoints
I shit you not mine was. "Yeah good times. You also escaped injury by not showing." Such a perfect text for it lol.
xXOdessaXx
Can't talk now. They're here for Dorian. (cat had to go to vet last night)
RampagingBanana
"Oh damn apparently my mom's cousin and his girlfriend are having their baby tomorrow"
BettieBlank
"Which neighbors?"
LordIndica
Lol, "wait...WHICH neighbors? The ones on the left were the loud ones right? ...uh oh"
JustHereToPostPicturesOfMyDog
"I miss you already"
wolfenstien98
Happy Tau day!
Mrchazzymoto
"Like he's never fucked up."
ShannonTheSnakeLady
"Ivo doesn't like Vietnamese food"
xfumo
Ivo should not be trusted.
ShannonTheSnakeLady
We're pretty sure he's the evil character someone accidentally let into the party.
Kate0808
"No. Like $500,000.00"
NavySealM8
"I dared not look back"
whatwouldbuffydo
I'm ok. Being tested for a concussion.
BustyCrab
"It was amazing!"
turtlezapato
"Headed towards you"
CyborgScribe
"I'm hearing a lot about Kim, Ashley, Camden, and Sierra and I gotta say they sound really white."
sgtjond
"But yeah, do you think you'll be alright?" Kinda depressing, now that I think about it.
TheShadowsAreWatching
Mine was. "Please forgive me for I have sinned."
zeskorion
"have you ever played the binding of isaac?"
ImmortalTimothy
"No, in Bartow"
kowishto
"At least you might get the deposit back"
CilantroGirl
"No. Protocol is unloading a clip into their head."
thetallfreak
Yeah, we're definitely talking when you get home from work
blonx
Come help me
BareyGusey
That sounds heavenly
Hihler8
"Can you buy some tampons too?"
quakityquak
Mine was "definitely NOT pregnant" so I feel you!
alurkertryinghisbest
"so I was just sucking and sucking away, then I turned the lights on"
LegendMilk
"Disappointment all around"
PoleLineHooligan
"See you soon you native fuck"
Etkr
Nice so hookers and cocaine on you?
eachoe
Go through the garage and be as quiet as possible when you're near the house
Dinnerbird
I definitely need to bring more entertainment with me.
SantaClaws
The episode is called, "I have no regrets"
AConvenientSwarmofBees
"Flo is out of food."
Vyrro
Arby's horseradish tastes funny
Kidsplayingwithawoodenduck
I´ve been looking for some really interesting stuff.
Sawdustbunny
No, I didn't [perform fellatio] for gas money.
RazTheGiant
"Alright, just got here"
Psychomma
"I'm here."
CadmusPeverell
"What's your ETA?"
MrKoops
no fun >:I "Btw, how where are you going to be in llinois? I think it's important you try and see the total eclipse on Monday, august 21st."
Op19
Seems too perfect. "Sorry I just realized your show is on tonight, how is he?"
synysterlove
"Don't forget you still owe me $30"
whoinvitedthem
"I feel like I'll be a hanging bear sausage"
LegionofMartyrs
"O, I didn't realize you were leaving so early."
justfineithink
Oh perfect! Perfect perfect!
medic19
Got them!
Trapphus
"It went well, I had alot to do so time flew past"
illogicalphallicy
Billy: the student has become the master
Fwatair
"I feel like an asshole but I also feel like I shouldn't have to want babies to be a part of the family" I am gd crying
spellbolourwithak
"IT WORKED!"
75PercentSith
"IF I HAD A PREFERENCE I WOULD FUCKING TELL YOU!" I was over-exaggerating my anger to be funny. Just wanted to make that clear.
UnderstandsAnimeBetterThanLife
Mine was "Goodnight, I love you, stay safe." to my husband who works nightshifts.
ParryLost
Mine was just: "sorry"
MoxnesMonster6
Milk is too expensive
Akoman
"Play some more after I get off work?" I definitely laughed
kingofblueoranges
"This is awkward"
pantsforcats
"my day's going pretty well. You?"
JustTheRegularBytch
"I think you hate your workplace too much"
FlowVector
"screw that, I didn't like anyone there and the food sucks"
GrouchyOscar
"Dope. Super busy then hahaha."
KoalaManDamn
"It's non whitening ya know"- telling my dad what toothpaste I need
Maevellous
So thats a yes to pizza then
pwnz805
"We can't sleep"
SpiciestMayMays
"Where are you"
pedahbreads
Ryan im getting you cigs b right back
thelittletrainthatcanteven
"So pretty."
CirclejerqueDuSoleil
"5" [replying to an AT&T survey bot in hopes that it would shut the fuck up once I answered its questions]
imhoots
I slept 11 hours last night.
didyoutryturningitoffandturningitbackon
"Nothing tonight, just this funeral shit all afternoon. What about you?"
UmmpoofSmokebomb
"Can I vent for a minute? I really dislike *roommate*'s family." I'd say that's pretty good timing...
Herobrian
"No problemo"
BlackTemplarM8Inday
"Wake up"
AmericanDevil08
Sorry I had caps lock on
RavantShearhart
"It's your own faaaaault. <3"
NashvilleNative
Babe, it's going to take a LOT to tarnish your image in my mind, like raping a toddler level stuff.
CowsAreAliens
Mine was "we are out of toilet paper."
TravDrinksBeer
"I know something is up"
youhavemail
"then when I tried to.comtinue to talk to her she got mad at me"
PizzaSlutForever
"Have you eaten yet"
Albertiarp
"Sorry if Im being a nuisance"
WeirdOnions
"xD oh good"
brokenfemur
Yeah man that would be fun!!!!
dbald55
Daaaaaaamn! They was bobbin' when they shoulda been weavin'!
Lolaland
"they'll be gone"
didntthinkofthat
"Is it 1 we agreed on? My brain seems to have turned into putty."
PlesleronTepryos
literally just "idfk"
BannedAdviceForLife
Sure
0nceInABlueMoon
"lol I did it"
JuuzouSuzyua
How do you expect me to do that, Woman
lmgurUserName
"Well try enjoy your boring day, I will be behind you with a cattle prod, lol good night lol"
shyp
Get better then! (co-worker got sick today)
thatoneSauce
"when was his birthday again?
lm29dumasfan
Haha where's your brain at today?
McLovinMuffin
Holy shit
lm29dumasfan
Your username is appropriate
IFavouriteEveryPostISee
"I think the bird is gone."
3DepressedFoxesInATrenchCoat
"No it's gross and the people behind will see the grossness." I wish I could make that up.
spaerkles
Out of curiosity, what was gross?
mattbry
I'm going to the doctor in a few days, so I'll find out then. But I'm feeling pretty good.
ImAShittyTransAm
'Yeah, for a bit.'
NoticeblyFrightened
"Frago I guess"
Eaglemk4
"Owners gave me food"
deathcharge8
"Oh yeah and i heard that you can get a discount to universal studios using my orders from ssgt rodriguez"
firelightcat
"SAO abridged exists." (Sword Art Online)
tadz777
ok, so not the 15th then
UABMills
"Did someone say stale meme?!"
llamamushroom
"But we already knew that"
CacklingMantis
"Burrrrrn"
superanth
"What I had was...complicated. And strictly non-communicable."
Smugglecats
"I was like this is what my life is turning into because it's true lol" My last message to go with this
ChellFreeman
"It's true" I'm hooked on a story that doesn't exist and was technically made by me. Great.
SmoothberryBluethie
"Sounds good. Thank you." I'm disappointed mine isn't as fitting as others.
TwoHorndUnicorn
"I missed her"
CobraFlyingAnA10DroppingSpidersBecauseScrewYou
Cause it doesn't affect me, so I don't need to know?
Evilbeavers
"I didn't get the job"
landcfan
:( that's rough
kindofaprick
Don't give up.
eagleandy93
'Ok'
SurreptitiousFishes
"It was a weird experience but not far off from my day to day hahaha."
drusillajovi
"lol perfect "
TwoBitFortuneTeller
"Am bathing"
AstroVelociraptor
"I should've just went home after work."
DaleDobek
K
kindofaprick
Same.
CowsAreAliens
I hate one letter or word texts. Damn you!
DaleDobek
K
bortlp
Me too
McPleeben
"Still planning on doing more cleanup after I goto the store"
Yourpalrich
Rachel and I are gonna hop on and play a game when you're ready! ETA ? :)
ShadowNukePie
I haven't eaten yet.
chefryank
Yeah. So im in a crash course for all the systems i need to know in two weeks
Sarethas
"The cat spread his latest gift around some."
ReferenceCheck
"Took them a second, but they laughed."
BravoTangoAlpha
"KICK ASS!"
FaxCelestis
"Doing what I do now."
MOTHERFUCKINGBERNIESANDERS
"But she seems nice enough."
NotOnRexManningDay
Congrats! We have to get a drink soon so you can tell me all about it.
TAMUhowdy82
"Yay for us"
thatsLMFB
"Yeah, we just keep having hurdles thrown at us. Maybe it'll even out one day."
stonedrunkdoctor
I knew you would recognize our old home lol
JimTheZombie
Mine is "we need more versions of master peace."
Miiketolentino
The other washing machine has a inbuilt dryer
herph
"Done."
SpecialAgentCake
Home!
Thatoneguywhogot18kdownvotesin24hr
"Huh interesting"
NotSoTinyT
"Yes!!! Baby yess!!! I like that"
JangleWank
Goodnight my love x
Noiro9
Fantastic ????
motittiesmoproblems
mine was "done"
Meleemailman
Count me in!
BucketsOfBearBait
"Make me feel better."
GloriousWalrus
"Yeah she asked if I was still dating Bethany"
NotoriousNEG
"I'm awake again." to my boyfriend. Oh no.
kindofaprick
"Goodnight, my love."
spectrebliss
"We have a drive"
Sneckz
It's watermelon
GeddyLee2112
Glad it didn't suck.
Phoenix16922
"Shouldn't you poop in the bathroom"
Flyndaran
Shall I dry your tears with dank memes? (Seriously, I was sending memes to cheer someone up.)
ThunderBreaker
Gets you good credit though.
Gilllt
"There's nothing wrong"
shalerson
I couldn't stay on the phone.
jtwhit2012
ETA?
zombiemurder107
"Too much?"
ASingh12345
Do you have the Walia-Mart photo?
Manbob456
Your email is going to piss her off, but I'll deal.
ianyuy
"I'm safe and sound"
SNASH72
No. I'm having a rough day.
RabbiRothschildren
Hope your day gets better
BenjimanStickyLiquid
icanneverthinkofgoodscreennames
"Not seriously mad, but definitely salty"
jessiah
"Im not to say no"
slydragoon
"I'll help".
xfumo
"That's awesome! You're making me hungry now!"
tskman
Is that yours
Kuma429
Hey, friends don't let that sort of thing happen, right?
openthedoorgetontheflooreverybodywalkthedinosaur
"Amazing!!!!! Congrats! Are they finally going to pay you?"
Ayyylmeow
"I got no help"
RoyaleWithCheeez
WOOF
Aibell125
Good. Mama needs it
Deadb4uhearit
Sweet, we just got out of the pool.
tanomil
"I might be a bit late"
FoxlovesCookies
Call me when you're out of the office.
PersonWithAPaintbrush
"K"
ff177
Ok, see you later I guess
wisconesota
"Almost done??"
whenyourescrewinotherwomenthinkofme
I'm home!
DaddySchlongleg
Hate when that happens
bashya
"But by god they did"
GrimmWarlord
"Jesus fucking Christ"
SudoNimm
"Prioritize this first"
amygmain
"Yay"
Steeliejunkie
Yeah, we are ok. Just watching tv now
DudeManBob
P0303 - Misfire cylinder 3
trenityv
I got an amazon package today please bring it inside when you get home plz
ThisIsTheHardestPartOfAnRPG
They're here.
idleAnarchist
"They told me that they won't be moving forward with my employment"
StalinForTime
hey, Its me, still alive.
DamageAxis
"We'll find out in a month, she might like the screaming and hitting."
Showmeyourotters
I have questions.
DamageAxis
3 year old starts Karate in a month her nicknames Dozer because not much stops her.
Showmeyourotters
Thanks that answers all of them lol. Hope that goes well for your family!
DamageAxis
Thanks. I question training her how to fight but maybe it'll calm her down. May all your adventures be fun and exciting.
Llording
That one sounds strange even w/o the bloof. Who's hitting who, now?
DamageAxis
My kids starting Karate in a month and she's kind of aggressive normally. Shes 3 and her nickname is Dozer. Not much stops her.
UmbraDomini
"That works. Thank you."
JarlPastrami
"*or"
cocobeans
"Ja" I got lucky because write after that was "suck YOUR dick"
UnknownUser320
Just napping.
DungeonMaster69
"You found it, you clean it"
omega315
Best one yet
spaerkles
I legit laughed out loud at this XD
McLovinMuffin
"Okay, it's awesome"
PurpleHedgehogs
"But it got really weird at the end"
BuffyFan1900
Awesome! I’ll be there for a mani pedi tomorrow!""
brosephhasenguy
Im so excited for wings
Alwayskneph
mobil 1 0w 40 european formula
TheCaydeUnit
It was very good.
CKnowles
"Easier done than said"
analbinosquirrel
"WHERE YE AT"
Showmeyourotters
"Ok"
Showmeyourotters
Sadly mine's pretty lame. If it helps, it had heavy eye-rolling in context; work problem I didn't like the answer to.
PinkyandtheBane
"I'm not up to anything"
Givemeabreak432
"Watching Hero Academia, then gonna play Arms" - I don't think mine quite works...
SaguaroSun
"I am tired of going to the bathroom."
LovelyLadyLumps
All over the gazebo
TheSpaceButterfly
"Still can't find it."
grapeflavoredpotato
Are y'all not coming?
Redandpurpleunicorns
Good plan. Stock checks are impossible if it's a mess.
jwan
Aww!
ManIJustWantaHug
"Your check did come in, and it doesn't look awake".
TheScarfyDoctor
"Yeah, about 5-ish."
greminator
"Ok!! I'll get some good stuff"
Raileks
You're late. I needed that yesterday but we'll see what happens.
Faultlines
"Fine but I took extra pills"
kijiojia
"We are starting around 5ish"
Ewanator
"Words"
Ewanator
https://imgur.com/MCfb8Lv.png you think I'm kidding?
amorgan1
Hey Buddy, how was Vegas?
murderskunk
"I love you thank you for dealing with me."
UnfortunateSon
"Look, it won't bother you any more."
CoffeeTrampTossBitch
"It was fun!"
mybrothermadethisimatwat
Can so.
bsilly00
Im eating.
ExcitingJosh
"How many chicken burgers"
lysbertus
"Wanne grab lunch?"
Icommentoncomments
"Yeah, things are going well."
BurgerAndCries
Satanism is a gentle religion
WhyAreAllTheNamesTaken2
Safe bet would be after lunch.
ydwyrd
"Where all the dialogue is written as though everyone is Scottish."
mboneal3000
"Yes"
Arandomlifeform
"It was small and yeah"
CyranoDeBurlapSack
"Could just ask the girls."
mop36
Aw that's great news
Werewolflovr
I need your help I can't figure out FAFSA
SgtKnux
"When do you go?? I have the car, I'll leave soon."
WaywardJester
I mean... I don't not want to do that.
chiechien
"Yeah, same, just busy with work"
rrasho24
Hey brother, you stopping over to finish that today?
Greenh2
"You mind if I pack up my stuff for when you get me?"
13DimensionsOfSpace
There's a man with a saxophone!
CarpeVinum
"OK, see you soon"
RunningInCirclesNeverFeltSoGood
"It wasn't too bad"
Whiskeyntits
"Do we have the last piece of plywood?"
MyNameIsSean
"You awake?"
TheAdventuresofStealy
Mine was literally just my address.
littlebirdiesdirtyfeet
We have pumpkin spice cookies for months.
Arbondawn
"Okie. Sounds fun ????"
we3ze
"Now that's a picture"
ShiftyToaster
... "did you get the memes I sent you"
AquaShade
"Sorry I didn't see your last message"
VoidGearArie
"Im here now, right?"
crazybirdperson
I need you
ihavehadalongdayiamverysmallandihavenomoney
Sounds riveting lol. I mostly read history or crime
ariafiresong
"Also closing tonight"
freezepopsaregood
"so if we broke up would you still be down to fuck"
FriskyDing0
"Sure - what did you have in mind?"
readthebio
"no"
Jesusinacave
"He seems to like balls a lot"
Rabzozo
Anyway it's not a big thing
RPhilbin83
" :( "
MasterOfTheCats
"0A"
swaggybat
No worries
CrazyDave678
"Watch the shutout I mean shootout" (referring to Bravos amazing performance today
cntdn
"I think you forgot to pay BT again"
ughhSoLazy
iced caramel machiatto?
IMostlyPostPicturesofDogs
"Nothing, I'm at Petco walking around. Just looking"
PoorDecisionMakingSkills
"because I'm a thinker."
ConsistentlyLateCommenter
"Buy a plot of land in the middle of nowhere"
Marylynne7
Are you still at the pool or did you go to Mandys?
LewdBone
"I will"
BenjimanStickyLiquid
"Oh wow, thats awhile" my mom had to have surgery and has stents in her nose for the next 9 days :(
FudgingFutterNutter
I don't even know if it IS happening
sw77
"Where'd you go?"
theinsatiablepickle
"I am appreciate."
Creamypints5000
Dear Christ almighty I better get an Oscar for the performance tomorrow and Friday early rise bai
werewolf65Potchotski
Not creekside
bradyb99
"Sounds pretty Brazilian."
mugglemoron
"Yay!"
YourenotCheddar
Maddy's party was really fun, actually.
NovaLokahi
"I'm gonna wait til the chow hall opens at 1630 before dipping your way"
Darohan
"would've made a nice addition to my costume, but I didn't want to spend that much" oh geez.
spookyjeff
"TONIGHT"
pleasesendcows
"GAYLE WATERS WATERS"
Hornet65
"not sure if it's in the house somewhere" I'd say that fits pretty well.
phantomdreamer
"Lol ok"
aodhfin
"BOOOM"
BaronVonZorcula
LOL, yum.
YourWaifuIsTrash
"I don't have any particular time constraints tomorrow"
idontlikecricket
Sarah's really going all out with her anti abortion stance
restos
"Inv me and we'll see if it'll let me out"
unfocusedmoss
I will see what I can do.
w00t1
Everything I'm reading says it's a trial and error process
DeathbyGoogleSlides
"She just started eating, so it may take some time."
20Spades
"Sounds like a good time in literally any other context"
ChucklePuss
It's about to storm. HARD!
Huggitt17
I don't think we have a stroller.
CategorizedPull
"Are you going to Mormor's thing on Sunday?" (Mormor= grandma)
ThisIsIsh
"Ahahahahaha omg!!!"
ToeThumbs
"Have at it!"
letsgetspookydootdoot
No where close to ready
heislegend
"In my work shirt?"
themightyfloof
'Certainly makes more sense'
medhop
"I was going to, sure thing dad"
turalyawn
"I'll pick it up later to maximize your nap time"
RadicalRaizex
"I'm sitting in a booth in the back."
Oniroza
Mine was trying to stop the papa John's texts, so it's just "PJSTOP"
ImCranky
#3 Woohoo!
aninvisiblemaniac
"aw thats nice, she's so sweet!"
CheerfulCynic
"im literally too full to be assed to take a proper picture rip"
Iloveweed13
This fucking cat
TheNonInsestuousJaime
"I heard there's going to be pizza from costco, if so i'am there"
StephanieCruthirds
I laughed at this one. Mine was, "She was"....
zanzaboonda
Oh, just saw yours. Lol Hmm... I wonder what it could be.
HalfwaytoBatman
"Bed"
ThatsNotMyDadThatsACellPhone
Mine was, "I think that would look much more professional."
LordHentai
"There's an actual Witcher school in Poland."
BeagleOfDoom
"Too late"
RTTJeep
Cheap Chicago ideas
Zelkon527
"Oh."
Nobes28
"Oh! That happened last week!"
Waitihavesomething4this
"Lol pinkeye"
Dtrayn
"You working a full day today?"
MrBassoonBro
"Finally managed to get myself home"
KiwiForScale
"you know what needs to stop?"
AtoleDrinker
"I miss you" lol
O11i3
"Super"
MerilyMe
"I like this idea"
Suckie72
Understandable. I will say that after some attitude in the beginning, Mason actually stepped up a lot during NTC.
25schmeckles
Michael really has to poop
IndecisivePixel
"We're going to have so much fun tomorrow"
TippLite
"Go to sleep"
DarkartistSTY
There's crack on that TV
GmRPimages
"I'm gonna run a few minutes late. The manager is keeping me behind to 'check my work'."
BunnyKing95
"Anything else for today?"
chylde
"Going home now. Bored lol"
ragerescue
"Dont worry Dresden is taking care of me" (my cat, I'm sick in bed)
mwtkns
As in Harry Dresden of the Dresden Files?
ragerescue
Yep! Second cat named Murphy :)
mwtkns
That is the most amazing thing I have ever heard and you are amazing