memefarmer69
113881
2863
54
#birthcontrol #somepeopleskids
Mar 8, 2023 4:13 AM
memefarmer69
113881
2863
54
#birthcontrol #somepeopleskids
wantednokes
Fill it back up with either Resolve Urine or Rug Doctor Urine
minoshirokin
morninggloryshade777
Eeeeeewww. That'll be an intensive clean up. What in the world caused him to even think of doing it?!
BeyanaPeach
*laughs in infertile*
NotgaybutJensenAcklesgivesmefunnyfeelings
I just ugly laugh/snorted at this
Besamel
Apparently when I was little, my mother woke to the sound of me peeing on my bedroom wall in my sleep. Bathroom was next door.
skathir
I woke up once with my pants around my ankles in the hallway, pissing, and my dad yelling at me. I was SO confused. Was about nine, too.
Cilvaa
Me: *giggles at this meme*. Also me: "Hey Google.... remind me to get a vasectomy".
snappypappys357
I can one up that! I was drunk and pissed in my distilled water jug that I use for my cpap machine. Filled my cpap humidifier!
skathir
Oh god...
ScorpionSage
This is almost exclusively a boy problem. Girls have other issues like silently plotting to murder you in your sleep.
skathir
Yeah I guess I got off lightly with grunting and sulky rage
Doomhower
Damn I love my hysterectomy
thevortexmaster
*dies from condom asphyxiation*
4vie
That's one of three orificies that don't really need a condom to be considered "safe", unless I missunderstand reproduction real bad.
Pervaroo
AllTheGoodOnesWereGone
Ultrasonic humidifiers are nasty if you put anything other than distilled/purified water in them. NO tap water, NO softened water, NO filter
VanillaJester
Put the humidifier in the kid's room.
MetalhedMatt
Laughs in vasectomy.
idiotsonfire
This is why children aren't allowed in my house unless they've proven they're well behaved and are no less than twelve.
skathir
Childfree(tm) - only slightly less annoying than professional vegans
idiotsonfire
Yeah, because we remind you that there was a choice and you're bitter at me because I have freedom and can enforce a rule. And sleep well.
NotTinyPancakes
Should've used the pee drawer
Whatswrongwiththispicture
ElbowDeepInAJedi
I know I'm a guy but save a line for me just in case Lindsey.
NotTinyPancakes
I liek that guys should us eit too
4vie
I personally believe in emptying the mag, rather than making the "body armour" thicker, to stretch the anology.
TheUnstoppableWampas
I can think of no better advertisement for condoms than this simple post.
DunnowForgot
https://imgur.com/pEyaS3Q.png
adiving
When it concerns kids I am 100% sure this is nothing more than a lack of imagination.... that I share.
maydaydancer
https://youtu.be/yPsaXXtVfgc
DunnowForgot
https://imgur.com/TbIRZ36.png
usermainboredom101
That's a good one mate!! MUAHAHAHAHHAHA
DunnowForgot
LlamaLlamaQuack
This further solidifies my choice to not have kids, thank you
fractalsphere
Ohhhhh wow
nevergoingtogiveyouupnevergoingtoletyoudown
Why would I want to have kids? I knew what I did as a kid, why would I want to deal with that?
Psilocybinaut
This is what baffles me about: "How can you say you don't want/like kids?! You were a kid once!" ..... Uh yeah, exactly.
WrongUn
Yet another validation on having the snip. Zero kids and consequence-free creampies! Cashback!
Kristie72
Wrong. Vasectomies are not 100% effective. Ask your dr.
WrongUn
Oh fuck i forgot to speak to that guy about anything at all! Thank god you were here, keyboard hero!
NationalistCanadianMooseWarrior
Gonna go ahead and guess that they had that whole rundown with their doctor, seeing as, you know, they had the procedure lmao
vigilante397
All my kids are girls, fortunately they don't seem to be as prone to peeing in creative locations.
LiamRobertsonjr
I have 3 boys not one of them peed anywhere strange.
Tjitso
To be fair, pets can do similar things, like pooping in your bed or destrying your couch.
Kristie72
But do pets break a TV with a toy hammer, smear Vaseline all over the sofa, and dump flour everywhere while you're taking a poo?
NationalistCanadianMooseWarrior
Pets are easier to housebreak than kids, and you don't have to wipe their asses. I'm good with my choice lol.
alwaysthecheesegrater
I don't know how a pet is going to pee in a humidifier.
AsAHistorian
Maybe a tall dog?
Larktonguesinadicecup
You don't? My old cat shit inside a radio. And on the wall at eye level, and inside the hinges of a table. And he could piss inside anything
Tjitso
That's why I said similar, and not same. But I wouldn't rule it out.
RolandLovecraft
My cousin brought her kids over, one needs extra attention. Few days later my bathroom smells awful. He peed in my small garbage can.
billyrayvirus
You got lucky.
KismetCrew
My brother-in-law did the same thing when he came for a visit. He's 35.
EmeraldLight
Why tf do young boys feel the need to pee in garbage cans, drawers, closets, cupboards... what's the compulsion?
Zobbie
Never keep a laundry hamper in the bathroom
Grapeape2000
One of my completely developmentally normal kids used to pee in a lined can in the living room and once pooped into a cereal bowl.
minipancho94
young boys have an obsession with peeing on things for a minute. I rationalized garbage cans as okay because the bags prevented a mess...1/2
minipancho94
having them be responsible for the cleanup should quickly cause them to limit such activities to the outdoors at least...2/2
CelestialSea
While training in the Army a roommate peed into the garbage can in the middle of the room. Swore he couldn't remember it the next day.
HerrHat
After a night on the town one of my comrades (piss drunk) peed on a sleeping guys bed. Dude woke up, yelled. reply: "Shut up. I'm peeing."
wantednokes
If I did that back in the day, the extra attention was called "the stick"
morninggloryshade777
Call him back over. Make him clean it up. Seriously. We all see daily now what lack of consequences wroughts:(
Canofminus
My brother use to sleep walk when he was 8. He peed in the kitchen garbage can 2x, hall closet 2x (RIP dad’s shoes), & the tub a # of times
AVaguelyFamiliarUsername
Sounds like a drunk weekend...
Spiffico
My sister took a sleep walk dump sitting on the bottom rung of a ladder in the hall. Just happened the once though.
ThisGostakIsHereForTheDoshes
My cousin once sleepwalked into the living room and peed into a tray, filling it to the brim, while his parents where sitting on the couch.
Comboverman
I used to love peeing in the garbage can at parties. such a deuce move. so dumb.
chloramphenicolderivative
The garbage can is for things that needs to be disposed of. Urine needs to be disposed of. I don't see the problem here.
OnlyPositiveFavourites
Do you pour your soda in the garbage or down the drain?
chloramphenicolderivative
No, put I put people on this site's comprehension of sarcasm in both those places.
OnlyPositiveFavourites
Oh friend. There are *so* many morons or automatically inflammatory people these days. Add a '/s' to make your life easier.
chloramphenicolderivative
If you add /s there's no point. If people think someone on this site is more likely to piss in the bin than make a joke, I'd rather leave
thetinymonarch
*gf starts getting baby fever* hay honey look at this post
Pizza0Style0Burrito
Vacectomies are cheaper
idiotsonfire
There is no compromise at that point. You either compromise by having kids and becoming unhappy, or she does, and lives with it.
idiotsonfire
There is no "well, I'll compromise and just have ONE," uh-uh, doesn't work at all. Its either you get a vasectomy and she accepts it--
idiotsonfire
Or she finds someone else to get a kid from if she can't live without one.
thetinymonarch
We don't want kids just sometimes the baby fever takes over. I do it to, then she tells me to imagine my room with nothing but baby stuff.
idiotsonfire
Weird, I've recently hit another milestone in age and have never, ever once felt "baby fever." Because I just...get vaccines.
skathir
Guess what, that’s common too.
skathir
There is a compromise in many cases. “No we’re still full of debt & living large in early/mid 20s, let’s get more settled & secure” <-common
skathir
Way too many stories of couples who got pregnant earlier than ideal bc of baby fever or lack of access to reproductive choice
skathir
But sure, if this is one of those situations where other partner firmly never wants kids or is deeply ambivalent & this is not shifting.
skathir
Or the relationship is just not mature and time-tested enough to risk being tied to each other’s fortunes forever together by procreating.
idiotsonfire
That's not a compromise, that's a delay. If one person isn't sure, and one wants one, then that is not a compromise.
idiotsonfire
If you introduce a kid into a relationship where both people are not united in their desire and are dedicated to the idea.
idiotsonfire
Then that will effortlessly kill the relationship. Baby fever is not a reason to ever have a kid, financial security + shared desire is.
MyNameIsGaryAndThatsOkay
MyNameIsGaryAndThatsOkay
This file is named "birthcontrol.jpg" and it has sat on my desktop for 8 years. 100% effective.
AliceInjection
How'd they get the paint? Seems like bad parenting to me.
RoutemasterFlash
Yeah, like ludicrously bad parenting. Pack them off to grandma or wherever before you even get the paints out, when they're that age.
skathir
Oh yeah totally. But also, kids are a nightmare, even the constant hypervigilance to avoid this scenario or worse
AliceInjection
I have kids. It's not difficult to keep things like paint out of reach. Sure, they get into things but not before we notice.
skathir
When mine were younger, it was hypervigilance time *shrug*
seir
Hearing all the little crotch goblins screaming while WFH during lockdown really cemented my desire not to have kids
NationalistCanadianMooseWarrior
Early 2020 I heard neighbours door fly open, blood curdling screeching, and Frozen 2 played so loudly the TV speakers were distorting. No ty
JemIsTrulyOutrageous
Mine was the fact they were used as pawns and sacrificial lambs before we had safe vaccines for them just so we could "get back to normal"
skathir
It was the opposite where we were. Even playgrounds closed. Limited outside time.Months of lockdown. Kids v commonly became deeply depressed
skathir
And it turns out they aren’t even particularly good vectors for the disease, as well as generally only getting it mildly.
funone77
Single peeps, favorite this shit and every night imagine not being this parent and poorer than you are now.
qyrriqat
While I recognize this vibe, I'm trying to figure the amount of money that goes into trying to fill the void of feeling alone and unloved.
funone77
You can find love without children.
qyrriqat
I probably can. Doesn't mean I have. (The comment I replied to said "single people," not "childless people," FWIW.)
funone77
There certainly is a difference.
LumpPump
even couples can find inspiration from this shit. just cause you with someone wont magically make you want kids if you already didnt want em
odevon96538339
Well said !
Drix1942
I'll never have kids. Not because I don't want kids, but because I don't want to bring more wood into a burning forest.
UserScum
Feels good. Currently jobless but not jobless and desperate... yet
ThrowAwayMcFistikins
As a non-parent, I'm fully aware that my walls are 70% less covered in fecal matter than the average family home, and happy with my lot.
CatsIsTheAnswer
If only we'd let children work. I wish Zoolander managed to get that Malaysian fucker
AsAHistorian
As someone who would've loved to be a dad, this sounds like one of those stories that's fucking awful in the moment, but hilarious later on.
AsAHistorian
Also, I'm poor as shit even without kids.
Kazeroth
As much as we try, I'm having a hard time getting my boyfriend pregnant
JemIsTrulyOutrageous
I don't delight in others misery, I feel sorry for the ones that had kids out of societal pressure/accidents rather than choice.
JemIsTrulyOutrageous
I don't feel superior not having kids over anyone, unless they are acting like I am lesser cause I chose not to.
RoutemasterFlash
Yeah, it's a shitty thing to congratulate yourself for, whether you decided to have kids or not.
GeneralWho
Perfectly stated on both counts.
shorey66
My kid has never remotely done anything this weird/bad. Survivorship bias means you only hear about the nutcase ones
AstronautChicken
My 9 year old made brunch on Saturday. Toasted ham and cheese on Hawaiian rolls with strawberries. She ain't ever peed in a humidifier.
LiamRobertsonjr
I have 4 and not one of them ever did something like this.
funone77
Survivor bias goes both ways. People that only talk about the joy of parenting. Love my kids, but it shouldn't be sugar coated.
onedayillthinkofsomethingtoputhere
Oh, I'm not worried about that. Or about the single part. Snip snip! Never once regretted it.
Torvucci
No need to go to such measures for me, my personality is enough of a contraceptive !
PineappleLoopsBroether
Ya cut the whole thing off huh? Well… it’s extreme, but ya never can be too sure…
robotr0b0t
Just the balls, not the shaft.
RadonGaming
The extremes people go to for it to appear longer.
iluvdis
This post, helped me decide right now. That I do not want children. I was on the fence. But now I'm sure.
Psilocybinaut
If you need more: average day care for a single kid can apparently cost $1,000+ per month. More for multiple kids obv
Psilocybinaut
There's a popular post on reddit right now and people can't get over the $2300/mth daycare OP is paying to discuss OP's actual complaint.
skathir
Depends on country & social structure
idontlikepickingusername
You gotta pump those numbers up. My second is almost out of daycare, it $52 per day.
skathir
Australia it’s over $100 but also heavily subsidised.
Fridgesavers
Napped once, to find my kid dunking my phone in my Tea. Also, cleaned a LOT of shit off the walls over many years. Also... Hidden poo.
QuickGoogleSearch
My 2yo child ate cat poop right from the litter box, then threw it up. Also, I agree with the hidden poo.
morninggloryshade777
Uh, don't nap when kids r awake.....
Fridgesavers
Do you think I make a cup of tea in preparation for a nap? One day you might understand.
morninggloryshade777
One day u might develop class & manners, too. And raise healthy successful kids who care, give back & live in a better world....