OhMyYoureSexxy
108298
3735
50
Nov 19, 2019 4:16 AM
OhMyYoureSexxy
108298
3735
50
lordsupafly
I... I don't remember writing this? This must have been me but, ... I don't post on Reddit?
nzscoria
Drop a beautiful lady home once who told me her flatmates have sex bang the wall & keep her awake. Didn’t realise til next day always regret
IWouldDoThings
If a guy is interested though... wouldnt that be a good time to let a girl know?
carrotsonfire
I like how the question is directed towards women, but the top answers are all from men.
rgzdev
Well it was posted on the Internet. How are girls going to find it? Through their boyfriends?
CybrMeow
Helps this girl all day to move furniture at her place. After sweating all day she offered her shower. Apparently that's code sometimes
twisteddkarma
And that is what your personal hell will be for eternity on repeat over and over.
1lightlyfriedfishfillet
Lol i have a couple of these scenarios that haunt me at 3:12 am.... My alarm goes off at 3:20am
juliastan
I thought I was in the friend zone, so married someone else. I realized later she was actually playing hard to get. Too narcissistic, she.
Craicerjack
Way to yoda the end of that comment
HeladoDeBanana
As a man that barely catch hints. If you see that the guy that you like doesn't catch your intentions, please, do the first step. Thank you.
Elvirana
Girls are afraid of being rejected, too, you know ...
SonderingStrike
Girls. You have to realise that if men mistake something for a hint and try anything, then they will probably be called a creep at best.
Macwhiskey
Girl in High School: I like you and find you sweet Me: AHAH! That's a nice joke!
Gaelig
Guy in high school: "my friend is in love with you" me: "yeah right! very funny!" only years later did I think maybe it was true...
NessUsedPSY
I one time had a girl i liked ask if she could sit on my lap while we were hot tubbing. And i said "oh no i can make more room" and got up.
BygoneFlygon
Missing hints aside, that’s wholesome as hell
m00nWatcher
How to tell if she’s into you: https://youtu.be/xa-4IAR_9Yw
meganical
Hint? Nah, he’ll know right away if I find him attractive because I’ll say he’s handsome. Swap numbers. Through texting, a date is planned.
DaisukeAramaki
I can't decide what I like more: the idea that your name is a play on "maniacal" or that you're a mechanical Megan-bot. Either way +1
27yoUGLYvirgin
It's easy when you don't have this problem.
FreddThundersen
Next time, try with: "I'm naked in your bed... Penis me, you dipshit!"
RadarPlus
Too vague
skttlebrau
Rifneno
SaintLuciferVonAllah
Was in a tent with an ex.Got on top of him,started undressing.He got a very confused look&asked:"so...what's happening now"?He was a virgin.
justareallylongemailaddress
How does one self friendzone? I would say teach me, but I'm good fam.
randomitguy
"Take me Garth!" "Where? I'm low on gas and you need a jacket..."
KidKarless
I think self friendzoneing is the same as just friendzoning someone else. Everyone invovled is being friendzone and leme tell u i am a champ
Sarcausticretrd
I too have done something like that I figured it out like a year after it happened lol
PoppaBigBear
Low self esteem.....so fucking low
Enoan
I once overheard a girl turn down a $20 bet to sit next to me at lunch, her friend raised it to $50 and she did it. I asked for a cut
puxorb
More like erring on the side of caution.
captainikag
Well one time a girl was bent over naked, face down ass up saying "fuck me now" to me, but tbh man I kinda felt like it was a joke so I left
DukeLaserMaster
Why cant they just say "hey dipshit, get up here and fuck me."
Gaelig
do you really want to be treated like a piece of meat?!
DukeLaserMaster
Yes
VslCPumpkinWrecker
Yes
TheGhostInAJar
Duh. She should of brought pajamas over.
nccstarbuck
*have
BurlRavenscroft
A girl wanted to stay over with my roommate and I helped him open the fold out sofa and get her pillows
ihavenoanswers
This one made me chuckle. That's TWO of you!
glitchead
It's okay. Girls dont get hints either. I flirted with a girl, had her laughing, 3 hrs straight. She even said "You're so smooth" -
glitchead
- I invited her out for food, I invited her back to my place to "draw" in case she needed a model, she was polite and didnt want to impose -
glitchead
- at the end, I straight up told her, "So either you're gay or I did something creepy, cuz I've been flirting for 3 hours now, and I'm-
glitchead
-getting nothing out of you. Sorry if I rubbed you the wrong way." Her eyes grew wide and she just face palmed while whispering 'Oh no'
Hur91
She was a secret gay and you worked it out?!
glitchead
Nah. We went on a couple dates. Still seeing her now
Kittywurst
My fiance told me, at 16 a girl asked if she could massage his groin. But he politely declined because he didn't know what groins was...
itsppearsyoucanindeed
”None of that bum stuff for me”, he thought to himself, confusing the groin with the prostate
RadarPlus
Rectum? Dang near killed him!
bigsteve31sk8
TELL US WHAT YOU WANT!
schmittyboss
Gaelig
we want to tease you becaus it is exciting
bigsteve31sk8
Oh, i see, nice.
Gaelig
women do not get aroused the same way you do, see.
bigsteve31sk8
We work 50 hrs./week and being cryptic just means we'll prob miss it.Also for sex tell us what you like. Harder,softer,more tongue work.
grrfvck
I had a girl knock on my window one night. I opened the door for her, thanked her for stopping by, shut the door, and went back to sleep.
UnderratedCommentGuy
What... What did you think she was there for? I'm just confused.
grrfvck
I was 3/4 asleep! I barely remember. She came back though!
27yoUGLYvirgin
To knock. What did you think?
Arcian
I don't think she cooks meth, dude.
tzxAzrael
i mean, let's give the guy a break on this one. being woken up from a dead sleep, we aren't always at our best mental capacity.
josephisalsoat
I told a girl that I slept naked, we banged. The NEXT night she realized that I really did sleep naked. We still banged some more.
BurtAlerts
This guy fucks!
pineapplearchitect
And she bangs
TheUnsolicitedDuckPic
With his penis even!
josephisalsoat
Honestly, I was just surprised that making that statement initiated her climbing on top of me.
ItHappenedInThe20thCentury
I bet he likes to put it inside the girl too.
Fishnuggs
Is a simple "Hey, time to sex" too much to ask?
teh0khardic
Clearly
kojenk
penis me pls!
RadarPlus
Too vague
KidKarless
I just posted a whole comment thread about how a girl once tried that line on me and it didnt work i eneded up accidentally friendzoning her
Necc0
that doesn't happen until your 30s
JanaJustinsdottir
Yes, social retardation is a barrier to fornication
Spidey209
There are like 18 ways that could be mis-interpreted.
MyUsernameMakesNoSenseAtAll
So tell us
Spidey209
time to sex = I'm off home to masturbate. See ya.
ticktockbent
"Okay, good luck. Who's the lucky guy??"
dav3nasty
Maybe a little slap n tickle? Just a little genital jostle.
Dillabouskee
My ex before we started dating had sent me a nude snapchat asking if I wanted to make out after we had just hung out, (1/2)
Dillabouskee
Because I had apparently missed her insinuations and advances for a few weeks. (2/2)
verdenvidia
been there twice now and both times got cheated on within a year, kinda unfortunate
Dillabouskee
Was that a red flag that I should have been aware of? (I was also cheated on by that ex)
SkeletonsNeedLoveToo
Time for sex when? Who's having the sex? Surely not I
GNious
Been there, still didn't get it
Dionysus187
"let me at that cock" *cock grab*
RadarPlus
Too vague.
mcmachack
Hands off Sinner!
Kenkenny82
A lot of people still wouldn't be sure if it's serious or a joke and will take it as a joke.
S33KER
I'd take it as a joke. That's my self-confidence in a nutshell.
KidKarless
There was this girl in my close friendgroup who basicly used that line on me and even after i slept with her i was unsure if it was a joke.
tinytimbeckybright
Dammit this is hilarious
BoltAurelius
Too vague
AbortableToaster
Right? What time? What position? Where?,
flyingmonkeystick
With whom?
Whatdoyousaytoanicecupoftea
David Mitchell...
SVcross
She might be canandian
BamboozledU
Idk man my ex asked me straight up one time
YourUpstairsNeighbor
"I WANT YOU TO FUCK ME, JERRY"
SoftKleenex
Alright fine, I'll open a new credit card under your name
Blackcorncob
Instruction not clear
antonPmatt
“FUCK ME!”
PenguinStuntman
”She is probably just saying that to be polite, she doesn’t actually want that”
SonderingStrike
"Probably a slip of the tongue, women usually say "What the fuck, Jerry", so she probably meant that"
besn
"really? why?"
niakaki
oh no. I'm getting flashbacks.
youtah
Jerry proceeds to fuck her over by suing her, taking her dog, house, car & 50% of her money in the lawsuit.
errorexe3
If anything, this person is a good person.
nijlonkai
No they're dumb
KarmicNoose
Not mutually exclusive
PuppyDontCare
Having sex with someone that wants to have sex with you doesn't make you a bad person, or good one
Vexxed
Tried with my husband.. apparently being too direct is a turn off.
nijlonkai
Girl he needs counseling
UndulatingTerrain
Good but dumb.
tenaciousOther
He never tried to do anything...even when he should have
nellietta
Idk why everyone downvotes you... She definitely wanted to bang
Gherkincensed
Yea never try making a move on a girl you have a crush on, that would be a terrible idea, definitely no, do not do that.
Dionysus187
"and with that, the incel was born. Confused and frustrated as to why being their idea of the 'good guy' didn't have them drowning in pussy"
thehumanoidsarecoming
Yep, but also think about how he felt when it dawned on him.
Downtake
You mean the overwhelming feeling of foolishness and embarrassment, yeah it never really goes away. And we also rarely learn from it
Frodosynthisis
5 years later in the middle of the night he sits up and realizes it.
Dionysus187
He never implied he wouldn't have done it if he knew. Not sure why being ignorant of all the facts is a virtue suddenly
wavinggrass
Ignorance seems to be synonymous with innocence. It's only willful ignorance that I have issues with.
thehumanoidsarecoming
good for you honey
wavinggrass
I find it odd when people use "honey" in a derogatory manner.
Drunktinyoctupuswantstofight
Yes, a very good person, not a bright one but a good one.
Dionysus187
but is he good if he didn't know? Wouldn't a good person know she was trying to get a train to bone town and declined?
Dontworrybesalty
Why would declining sex make someone a good person? They'd both be consenting.
Drunktinyoctupuswantstofight
Intelligence and morality aren’t linked. He seems innocent which is maybe what makes him “good”
Dionysus187
So if a person who donates clothes who would have sold them for an insane amount if they knew they could is still good?
Dionysus187
or should I say, 'as good'
Dekkonot
That implies that having consensual sex outweighs the desire to not make people uncomfortable.
Dionysus187
who was made to be uncomfortable? Other than the girl by her own clumsy advances?
Drunktinyoctupuswantstofight
I mostly was answering sarcasticly to the first guy- dude who missed out on sex, because he was a bit thick and innocent. Does that make him
Drunktinyoctupuswantstofight
A good person, not necessarily. But he also didn’t see a possible avenue to “take advantage” of someone. Granted someone who clearly wanted
NyQuilDaydream
I've actually had a girl grind on top of me in her underwear while in my bed and because she was laughing I thought he was just playing...
Bigbore
off her top ask me to rub her back, THEN rubbed my cock through my jeans and complemented the size, I'm AMAZED I ever lost my virginity 2/2
NyQuilDaydream
Luckily she just straight up asked to have sex later that night... I was so dumb in college
astrangehop
I'm so glad it worked out for both of you.
Bigbore
I feel ur pain, had a girl come over, show me her nipple piercings, pull a porn out of my dvd collection "hey lets watch this" then take 1/2
BoyAreYouStupidOrSomething
Make up your mind... he or she?
NyQuilDaydream
Dammit, defiantly she...
RadarPlus
She was very defiant that she was a she
amira18
Yes
Tinymargins
Yes
codekeeper
Yes
secretbebsidrinker
Username checks out ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
Tinymargins
I'm so flattered you noticed. ?
Rifneno
theguywiththevoice
Not peeking is a legit superpower
Nuclearun
tbf, he totally knows they're fake.
OzzyKnight
Santa isn't real. Doesn't mean we don't love him.
JodyBird
He could see the implants and was turned off
FallingStar7669
I love the fact that Clark probably wasn't even trying. He's just that much of a boy scout that all of that was honest.
xane
X-ray vision, he knows exactly what she means.
Rifneno
He's a boy scout, but he's also a genius and an investigative reporter. I'm pretty sure he gets it. :)
RalphtheMagnif
He's probably just been watching her naked with X-ray vision
Homosexualsaregay
Oh man, she has a sweet set of femurs
somethingintangible
Oh the possibilities
PootsMcGraw
You think Superman ever uses his cold breath to just feast his eyes on hard nips?
SoftKleenex
I've seen everything
originalone
It’s too late
koops
SecretlyThreeDucksInAManSuit
Man of steel, will of iron.
ZachNanamus
He must accidentally x-ray people all the time. Breast implants might look super weird to him.
AFistfulOfDollHairs
Pfft, he probably had time to go to mars, rub one out, take a nap and grab a glass of water before returning without her noticing.
samesamebutnotthesame
Every hole, is not a goal my friend.
rgzdev
Trogdoooooooor
Well she’d probably be real freaked out by the pincers so it makes sense
DarkAngelWarlord
HA HA HA HA
BoundlessMus
I understood that reference
rgzdev
I too am from the Internet.
afuzzyyeti
Brain of rocks
Rifneno
Clark: Internet: lol what an idiot
rgzdev
Superman is the best at everything, and generally boring outside crossovers. Batman is a better comic that can stand alone from the DCU.
rgzdev
Batman <=> Spiderman. Superman <=> Captain Marvel.
Rifneno
Ironic, since Batman is absolute cancer to crossovers.