The joys of Fatherhood

Oct 18, 2016 7:27 PM

padjo

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48883

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1232

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86

Cockblock

[deleted]

[deleted]

9 years ago (deleted Oct 21, 2024 11:33 PM) | Likes 0 Dislikes 0

9 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

my 4 month old twins are masters in the ancient art of c-blocking.

9 years ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 0

As a parent of a toddler, it's so true and it hurts so much!

9 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

What is it that's scribbled out there?

9 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

I am in the same boat.

9 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Try having a quickie in the bedroom door and all you hear is "BANG BANG BANG" but it's the kids knocking on the door and not your headboard.

9 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

Yes. Yes. Yes....oh sorry. That's just me telling my kid they can have anything they want if they just go away, so they list it one by one

9 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

Exactly why kids are horrible. They ruin fun.

9 years ago | Likes 41 Dislikes 5

You I like. There are cures for parasites, but nooo! We're gonna let them grow, clothe them and let them shit everywhere.

9 years ago | Likes 14 Dislikes 6

This is why you don't have kids. I'm all about that dink life.

9 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

3 year old daughter... can confirm

9 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 1

Father of 3 here. Confirming. They take fucking 24/7 shifts.....

9 years ago | Likes 29 Dislikes 1

They're trying to keep you from making more.

9 years ago | Likes 6 Dislikes 0

Father of 1. Can confirm also; have never had the opportunity to try become father of 2

9 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

We have twins... double cock block.

9 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Do what?

9 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

As a Father of 2, I can verify this is true.

9 years ago | Likes 49 Dislikes 0

As a Father of 3, I can verify this is me.

9 years ago | Likes 15 Dislikes 0

As a father of none and a virgin i can verify this is not me.

9 years ago | Likes 5 Dislikes 0

But this is exactly what led to cockblock

9 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

13 years and nothing's changed...

9 years ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 1

Ugh thanks for giving me hope lol

9 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

HER: Yes, now aren't you ready for another one?

9 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 2

It's crazy. In another room and as soon as there is physical contact. It's like they have a cockblocking sensor that goes off.

9 years ago | Likes 183 Dislikes 0

2 kids, can confirm that fucking sensor has. 99.9999% successful reporting rate

9 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

They can smell it. Their hyper sense of smell with their new nose can detect the smell of dick inserted into pussy. Reminds them of home.

9 years ago | Likes 20 Dislikes 3

Its like a defense mechanism. they're trying to eliminate potential competition. Less mouths to feed = higher chances of survival.

9 years ago | Likes 20 Dislikes 0

Wow, this actually makes absurd amounts of sense.

9 years ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 0

It's been scientifically proven children actually do this unconsciously to ensure their own survival. If there is less mouths to feed 1/2)

9 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

And people to take care of their survival rate increases and it allows them to bond with their parents more. Source: My bullshit. (2/2)

9 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

even infants. get them all settled down, falling asleep in the crib. wait 10 minutes to make sure it's real. tip touches pussy. baby screams

9 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

It's been studied. They do. Evolution encourages us to prevent siblings by any means necessary. Google it

9 years ago | Likes 6 Dislikes 0

There is a study around that says babies fuss during sex to prevent another child being conceived. Lol

9 years ago | Likes 7 Dislikes 0

The fetus is basically a parasyte sucking mama dry of her blood and nutrients. I'm not kidding, it's part of why the period is a thing.

9 years ago | Likes 5 Dislikes 0

Holy shit. I'm not crazy!

9 years ago | Likes 15 Dislikes 0

No, you're still crazy. You just got lucky on this one.

9 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

No... They know, dude.

9 years ago | Likes 10 Dislikes 0

They won't take kindly to more competition for resources

9 years ago | Likes 23 Dislikes 0

There's some indication that this may be the genetic reason behind such behaviour.

9 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

This is what I came to say

9 years ago | Likes 6 Dislikes 0

Mine were outside at the neighbors, had been for an hour, 5 thrusts in and they start knocking

9 years ago | Likes 94 Dislikes 1

3-5 am, you think they'd be passed out, but newp, they start crying murder or just waltz right on into our bedroom. Insane.

9 years ago | Likes 15 Dislikes 0

WE WANT JUICE, WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN THERE? CAN I COME IN. "And... flaccid."

9 years ago | Likes 66 Dislikes 0

"We want juice" - 100% accurate

9 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

We're you there? That's spooky

9 years ago | Likes 29 Dislikes 0

"We are you there?", you meant "Were you there?"

9 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 2

We've all been there pal... Were* =P

9 years ago | Likes 9 Dislikes 1

Got'em

9 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0