Oct 18, 2016 7:27 PM
padjo
48883
1232
86
Cockblock
[deleted]
prestodigitation
Whyt128
my 4 month old twins are masters in the ancient art of c-blocking.
SevenOfWine
As a parent of a toddler, it's so true and it hurts so much!
Carefuler
What is it that's scribbled out there?
hipsnscaps
I am in the same boat.
OldSaintDickolas
Try having a quickie in the bedroom door and all you hear is "BANG BANG BANG" but it's the kids knocking on the door and not your headboard.
simuchobueno
Yes. Yes. Yes....oh sorry. That's just me telling my kid they can have anything they want if they just go away, so they list it one by one
OneTheory
Exactly why kids are horrible. They ruin fun.
Sindritec
You I like. There are cures for parasites, but nooo! We're gonna let them grow, clothe them and let them shit everywhere.
ICanHasJava
This is why you don't have kids. I'm all about that dink life.
MickeyPupper
3 year old daughter... can confirm
WorstShotEver
Father of 3 here. Confirming. They take fucking 24/7 shifts.....
lolalupe
They're trying to keep you from making more.
nobleredone
Father of 1. Can confirm also; have never had the opportunity to try become father of 2
Melz001
We have twins... double cock block.
criticalPhil
Do what?
FtlFrm
As a Father of 2, I can verify this is true.
snozeberriestastelikesnozeberries
As a Father of 3, I can verify this is me.
Vhiyur
As a father of none and a virgin i can verify this is not me.
mac1222
But this is exactly what led to cockblock
DrWillCunow
13 years and nothing's changed...
Ugh thanks for giving me hope lol
TheFirstPower
HER: Yes, now aren't you ready for another one?
myjimmiesberustled
It's crazy. In another room and as soon as there is physical contact. It's like they have a cockblocking sensor that goes off.
dukenukemforpresident
2 kids, can confirm that fucking sensor has. 99.9999% successful reporting rate
kcufuck
They can smell it. Their hyper sense of smell with their new nose can detect the smell of dick inserted into pussy. Reminds them of home.
Its like a defense mechanism. they're trying to eliminate potential competition. Less mouths to feed = higher chances of survival.
Wow, this actually makes absurd amounts of sense.
PropainAndPropainAccesories
It's been scientifically proven children actually do this unconsciously to ensure their own survival. If there is less mouths to feed 1/2)
And people to take care of their survival rate increases and it allows them to bond with their parents more. Source: My bullshit. (2/2)
evangs
even infants. get them all settled down, falling asleep in the crib. wait 10 minutes to make sure it's real. tip touches pussy. baby screams
FloodingWaters
It's been studied. They do. Evolution encourages us to prevent siblings by any means necessary. Google it
IdkWhatToMakeMyUN
There is a study around that says babies fuss during sex to prevent another child being conceived. Lol
Littleman88
The fetus is basically a parasyte sucking mama dry of her blood and nutrients. I'm not kidding, it's part of why the period is a thing.
Holy shit. I'm not crazy!
Candyclysm
No, you're still crazy. You just got lucky on this one.
No... They know, dude.
forestfinagle
They won't take kindly to more competition for resources
apolloin
There's some indication that this may be the genetic reason behind such behaviour.
AnonresponsivE
This is what I came to say
uberpwnagecartman
Mine were outside at the neighbors, had been for an hour, 5 thrusts in and they start knocking
Werkin
3-5 am, you think they'd be passed out, but newp, they start crying murder or just waltz right on into our bedroom. Insane.
WE WANT JUICE, WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN THERE? CAN I COME IN. "And... flaccid."
fuckpuffins
"We want juice" - 100% accurate
We're you there? That's spooky
soepie7
"We are you there?", you meant "Were you there?"
We've all been there pal... Were* =P
vRizzo
Got'em
[deleted]
[deleted]
prestodigitation
Whyt128
my 4 month old twins are masters in the ancient art of c-blocking.
SevenOfWine
As a parent of a toddler, it's so true and it hurts so much!
Carefuler
What is it that's scribbled out there?
hipsnscaps
I am in the same boat.
OldSaintDickolas
Try having a quickie in the bedroom door and all you hear is "BANG BANG BANG" but it's the kids knocking on the door and not your headboard.
simuchobueno
Yes. Yes. Yes....oh sorry. That's just me telling my kid they can have anything they want if they just go away, so they list it one by one
OneTheory
Exactly why kids are horrible. They ruin fun.
Sindritec
You I like. There are cures for parasites, but nooo! We're gonna let them grow, clothe them and let them shit everywhere.
ICanHasJava
This is why you don't have kids. I'm all about that dink life.
MickeyPupper
3 year old daughter... can confirm
WorstShotEver
Father of 3 here. Confirming. They take fucking 24/7 shifts.....
lolalupe
They're trying to keep you from making more.
nobleredone
Father of 1. Can confirm also; have never had the opportunity to try become father of 2
Melz001
We have twins... double cock block.
criticalPhil
Do what?
FtlFrm
As a Father of 2, I can verify this is true.
snozeberriestastelikesnozeberries
As a Father of 3, I can verify this is me.
Vhiyur
As a father of none and a virgin i can verify this is not me.
mac1222
But this is exactly what led to cockblock
DrWillCunow
13 years and nothing's changed...
SevenOfWine
Ugh thanks for giving me hope lol
TheFirstPower
HER: Yes, now aren't you ready for another one?
myjimmiesberustled
It's crazy. In another room and as soon as there is physical contact. It's like they have a cockblocking sensor that goes off.
dukenukemforpresident
2 kids, can confirm that fucking sensor has. 99.9999% successful reporting rate
kcufuck
They can smell it. Their hyper sense of smell with their new nose can detect the smell of dick inserted into pussy. Reminds them of home.
lolalupe
Its like a defense mechanism. they're trying to eliminate potential competition. Less mouths to feed = higher chances of survival.
myjimmiesberustled
Wow, this actually makes absurd amounts of sense.
PropainAndPropainAccesories
It's been scientifically proven children actually do this unconsciously to ensure their own survival. If there is less mouths to feed 1/2)
PropainAndPropainAccesories
And people to take care of their survival rate increases and it allows them to bond with their parents more. Source: My bullshit. (2/2)
evangs
even infants. get them all settled down, falling asleep in the crib. wait 10 minutes to make sure it's real. tip touches pussy. baby screams
FloodingWaters
It's been studied. They do. Evolution encourages us to prevent siblings by any means necessary. Google it
IdkWhatToMakeMyUN
There is a study around that says babies fuss during sex to prevent another child being conceived. Lol
Littleman88
The fetus is basically a parasyte sucking mama dry of her blood and nutrients. I'm not kidding, it's part of why the period is a thing.
simuchobueno
Holy shit. I'm not crazy!
Candyclysm
No, you're still crazy. You just got lucky on this one.
myjimmiesberustled
No... They know, dude.
forestfinagle
They won't take kindly to more competition for resources
apolloin
There's some indication that this may be the genetic reason behind such behaviour.
AnonresponsivE
This is what I came to say
uberpwnagecartman
Mine were outside at the neighbors, had been for an hour, 5 thrusts in and they start knocking
Werkin
3-5 am, you think they'd be passed out, but newp, they start crying murder or just waltz right on into our bedroom. Insane.
myjimmiesberustled
WE WANT JUICE, WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN THERE? CAN I COME IN. "And... flaccid."
fuckpuffins
"We want juice" - 100% accurate
uberpwnagecartman
We're you there? That's spooky
soepie7
"We are you there?", you meant "Were you there?"
myjimmiesberustled
We've all been there pal... Were* =P
vRizzo
Got'em