I woke up with a live bird on my chest

Sep 15, 2018 8:36 AM

foxybelle

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188222

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5529

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79

Sorry for the selfie . I woke up to my cat serving me a live breakfest right on my chest . Thanks Prince Jellycat! The bird is ok , i let him go and thanked my cat for the gift. Sorry for my bad english i usually speak french.

*Frontpage??!! Yay!! Thank you guys, so much love !! I hope you got every hugs needed today :) xxxxx

*record scratch* ...yeap that’s me, you are probably wondering how I ended up here.. well

7 years ago | Likes 11 Dislikes 0

Is that a chocobo on your tv?? Your very old tv...

7 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

Looks like you just hit the imgur upvote jackpot!

7 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

Your cat thinks you’re dumb and need to be fed :) cats are awesome.

7 years ago | Likes 11 Dislikes 2

Is nobody else going to talk about the fact that her cats name is Prince Jellycat? 10/10 for the name! Good job madam, I concur!

7 years ago | Likes 13 Dislikes 0

Looking after my sister's cat one time. He gave me a live moth. I was more impressed with him carrying a moth in his mouth than anything.

7 years ago | Likes 13 Dislikes 0

My daughters cat was doing this to me, birds, mice. Even moths still alive. Now he brings dead presents like he gave up teaching me to hunt.

7 years ago | Likes 5 Dislikes 0

I once woke up with a dead bird buried in my basement. Admittedly I went to bed with a dead bird buried in my basement too...

7 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

"Well, this is an interesting predicament" -the Burd, probably

7 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

Ne t'inquiète pas ton anglais est parfait

7 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

Princess Jellycat is the best name for a cat.

7 years ago | Likes 11 Dislikes 0

Princess Monster Truck is too

7 years ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 0

Cat is having second thoughts about giving you the bird. Look at that face.

7 years ago | Likes 48 Dislikes 0

He's saying "you're gonna eat that, right?"

7 years ago | Likes 11 Dislikes 0

“You best be eating that!”

7 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

I'm just glad that you thanked the cat.

7 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

Bonjour du Québec. +1 Pour le prince JellyCat

7 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

The cat now thinks that you’re simple. He’s just trying to teach you to hunt for yourself. You should’ve devoured that bird. Make em proud

7 years ago | Likes 271 Dislikes 4

Maybe the cat wants a pet birb

7 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

7 years ago | Likes 65 Dislikes 1

I want to imagine it being horrified "The fuck Karen"

7 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

How to tell your cat loves you - they bring presents

7 years ago | Likes 8 Dislikes 1

/a/7x48Mnt

7 years ago | Likes 10 Dislikes 0

He kind of tried to teach me to hunt the bird too! On the picture he show me to slap the bird with his paw

7 years ago | Likes 11 Dislikes 0

I like your chocobo sticker

7 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

Good cat, good english, nice selfie

7 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

Prince JellyCat is the best name

7 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

You are a genuine Disney princess now.

7 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

Is that a CRT TV in the background?

7 years ago | Likes 38 Dislikes 2

7 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

hell yea, ive still got one too

7 years ago | Likes 15 Dislikes 0

Great for retro gaming

7 years ago | Likes 7 Dislikes 0

Time to play retro games !

7 years ago | Likes 7 Dislikes 1

Yes, oldschool gamers here :)

7 years ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 0

A CRT with a chocobo? Somebody's the real deal.

7 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

Prince Jellycat is a really good name :)

7 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

If you hadn't said, "Sorry for my bad English", I would never have known English wasn't your first language.

7 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

7 years ago | Likes 8 Dislikes 0

+1 for chocobo :)

7 years ago | Likes 15 Dislikes 0

Kweh!

7 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

Wark!

7 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

''For Christs sake Karen! Eat something!...''

7 years ago | Likes 6 Dislikes 0

Your English c’est plus meilleur que ma français.

7 years ago | Likes 8 Dislikes 0

That's worth two in the bush, right there.

7 years ago | Likes 1201 Dislikes 1

7 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

7 years ago | Likes 6 Dislikes 0

Two in the bush, one in the tush.

7 years ago | Likes 7 Dislikes 0

7 years ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 0

7 years ago | Likes 72 Dislikes 0

Everyone knows one in the hand is worth two in the bush, but assuredly I tell you a hand in the bush is worth three birds.

7 years ago | Likes 10 Dislikes 1

7 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

Had to come back to upvote you.

7 years ago | Likes 18 Dislikes 1

Many thanks, friend!

7 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

7 years ago | Likes 27 Dislikes 0

This is for you:

7 years ago | Likes 5 Dislikes 0

Yo thanks +1

7 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

My pleasure

7 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

I read somewhere that if a cat is bringing you "presents", it is because it thinks you are too dumb to hunt for yourself.

7 years ago | Likes 1743 Dislikes 15

7 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

"Boy, this behemoth is big enough to kill a dog, and they settle with boxed food! I have to teach them the joy of murdering critters!"

7 years ago | Likes 13 Dislikes 0

This or he just show you what he could do with you when you are asleep

7 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

T'inquiète pas du top commentaire haineux... C'est une sorte de coutume ici.... 'Murica fuck yeah ! Stupid and proud if it

7 years ago | Likes 6 Dislikes 2

They bring it to you because cats don't know how to cook it.

7 years ago | Likes 5 Dislikes 0

Oh, a vegan.

7 years ago | Likes 5 Dislikes 3

If you get dead ones you're too stupid to hunt. If you get live ones, you've graduated to pray that could get away so you're not hopeless.

7 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

that's one of the main reasons yes. kind of sad, poor stupid humans can't catch bird.

7 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 1

It's also because they love you and don't want you to starve.

7 years ago | Likes 72 Dislikes 1

My cat brought me a live squirrel. That was an interesting morning, I tell you what...

7 years ago | Likes 27 Dislikes 0

Had a cat that would sleep on moms hair or by her neck..started bringing her things inbed. Dead bird, stunned mouse, perfectly healthy snake

7 years ago | Likes 19 Dislikes 0

I wonder how did they find that out...

7 years ago | Likes 12 Dislikes 1

They probably just asked the cat

7 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

I feel like it's an assumption one dude made and the internet just ran with it.

7 years ago | Likes 24 Dislikes 0

It's how they teach their kittens. First, dead things. Then, kinda alive things. Then, half dead things. Then, alive things. So @OP is lv4.

7 years ago | Likes 14 Dislikes 0

Its exaclty what happend. I had pigeons, mouse, rats, two or tree half eaten small birds..and then this.

7 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

My cat always brings things in (we have a cat door) eventually started bringing in worms. “Dude, catch it, it caNT EVEN MOVE!!”

7 years ago | Likes 14 Dislikes 0

You're hopeless

7 years ago | Likes 7 Dislikes 0

It's not like you keep feeding them and they keep seeing you eat. I think of it as just a present.

7 years ago | Likes 70 Dislikes 2

Cats sort of treat humans like kittens, which is why they meow at us. I think it's more likely they want us to learn to hunt than have any>

7 years ago | Likes 16 Dislikes 0

> concept of gift giving. Especially when they bring us stunned or injured animals.

7 years ago | Likes 11 Dislikes 0

They don't know how you get that food, they just assume that you are the luckiest, most horrifically deformed cat they've ever met.

7 years ago | Likes 43 Dislikes 0

Or, they are just practicing their paternal skills on you, and don't really care about your abilities.

7 years ago | Likes 8 Dislikes 2

I like to think they're just returning the favor like how dogs watch your back when you poop.

7 years ago | Likes 31 Dislikes 0

I like this thought too.

7 years ago | Likes 7 Dislikes 0

Not just dogs! My cat is a good cat and guards me any time I go to the loo, and while I'm eating. She won't let anyone hurt me, I'm pack.

7 years ago | Likes 12 Dislikes 0

This is very true my cats do this too. My animals all take turns keeping guard.

7 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

I think its a good theory because my cat was acting like he tried tontech me to bitch slap the bird...

7 years ago | Likes 712 Dislikes 0

New favourite phrase right here "bitchslap the bird"

7 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

He thinks you are improving hence the living bird. Next he will invite you to join in hunting.

7 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

that you used 'bitchslap' instead of just 'slap' is too funny!

7 years ago | Likes 13 Dislikes 0

I like how English is your second language and you still chose to got the route of, "my cat trying to tech me to bitch slap the bird."

7 years ago | Likes 27 Dislikes 0

*teach

7 years ago | Likes 6 Dislikes 0

Have you thanked the skilled hunter for the gift? That's cat etiquette!

7 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

I thanked him, pets and treats :)

7 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

/a/7x48Mnt

7 years ago | Likes 338 Dislikes 12

This is all so great

7 years ago | Likes 7 Dislikes 1

You look so concermed and then your cat is just like "hey fool, kill it now! Do it."

7 years ago | Likes 13 Dislikes 0

Das a good bitch slap

7 years ago | Likes 129 Dislikes 1

"See Karen, now you bitch slap the flying biskit. But don't slap it with the finger daggers, relish the moment."

7 years ago | Likes 34 Dislikes 0

It's a French cat, so it would see it as a flying croissant or maybe eclaire.

7 years ago | Likes 16 Dislikes 0

I like how you say your English is bad and normally speak French but used "bitchslap" in a sentence correctly

7 years ago | Likes 291 Dislikes 2

Yeah. No merde, that’s Bon beaucoup Angleterreish.

7 years ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 0

High five to the guy who was teaching her English and taught her that bitchslap is the correct word. I can picture her using it...

7 years ago | Likes 8 Dislikes 3

..at work to her boss, in front of kids, in front of a judge, on live TV...

7 years ago | Likes 6 Dislikes 1

Well, we say "fuck" a lot..

7 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

priorities on point @op

7 years ago | Likes 64 Dislikes 0

I learned curse words in both german and norwegian before I learned any other words lol

7 years ago | Likes 9 Dislikes 0

Fæn!

7 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

Curse words are always so much better in languages other than English.

7 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

Not in norsk. Not in norsk... but in german, yes. You can really get your teeth around them

7 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

I dunno... Did you see the shit storm of tweets when Trump went to Scotland? The Scots don't mess around!

7 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

Merde and putain are pretty much 75% of my french

7 years ago | Likes 23 Dislikes 0

Add "bordel", and combo: "Putain de bordel de merde !"

7 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

2 words = 75%? Explain.

7 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 1

Oui

7 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

I'm going by number of letters

7 years ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 0