TheRealMrPeanut
127810
2443
33
☕️?
Oct 5, 2022 11:56 AM
TheRealMrPeanut
127810
2443
33
☕️?
NancyReaganSchoolOfGawk
Does not happen to me
Fancypants9000
FlaskandStein
This made me feel both special and not alone. Thank you
MrSatisify
Peachcappuccino
This is an upside of coffee not a downside. It's definitely more prevalent with normal coffee as I switched to tea and it's not as frequent.
RedTailedHawk
Verbalstunts
In french , little name is "pousse-caca", or poop pusher. Have a nice day.
zerbert
Wow, the first thing that I've encountered that's grosser in French.
Fancypants9000
someonestolemypants
I've been conditioned to need to poop by only smelling coffee in the morning
MechKelly
Only 29% of people affected? Damn. What's everyone else supposed to do about chronic constipation?
MapleSyrupMafia
For me it's not coffee... I can be in the house for hours and be fine, the moment I step into the garage I have max 2 min. before I have to>
MapleSyrupMafia
go back into the house to poop. So I don't know if there's coffee in the air or something....
Solkanarmy
weird that this happens and we also prize the beans that are pooped out by civet cats
somethingdark
I'm part of the 71%, but if I really want coffee to make me poop, I'll add creamer since apparently I've developed mild lactose intolerance
abraxasfury
I'm affected the opposite. Pooping makes me need a coffee
PrincessWendyB
Funny thing I noticed the correlation about 15 years ago. Before that if it's there it was mild.
swedeonamoose
I am one, can go from no need at all to running top speed for the bathroom after the first few morning sips.
CoffeeIsTheAnswer
This is the way..
boredgunner
Everyone I've ever known is affected by this
DigiT00l
I feel it is an American defect
boredgunner
You're probably right!
RavingIrradiator213
@GushLikeAFountain explains why my morning constitutional is always so regular
NancyReaganSchoolOfGawk
Do you have your coffee that early?
RavingIrradiator213
Always
MaybeIllDisappear
Maybe the coffee doesn't affect the colon, but softens the fecal matter causing a flush.
3lv3n
It’s probably the body’s natural reaction to toxins being detected and attempted to be ejected which is being romanticized here.
fromagewit
It takes 4 minutes to take effect, this is way too quick for that. Then it would take a couple of hours
wazscience
Talk about a shit post
srirachamakeseverythingbetter
Sometimes I have to poop just before I have my coffee. It's like my ass is having a Pavlov reaction
AreYouHappyNow89
Lol me too
WhisperDookie
Me too, I usually have to take a dump while it’s brewing.
mustardburp
what does your dookie whisper to you? mine says "less gummi worms in your diet, please."
ToSisPoS
Coffee constipates me. Am I inserting it in the wrong hole?
tsuelue
georgeluevano174
I only poop after a single cup of coffee on my off work days,workdays I can drink 2-3 cups and no poop.
chrisgrec
It usually comes right in the middle of my coffee. Sometimes even before I start drinking, just the smell and my body knows.
stvhunt132
Chemist here: The "scientist don't know why" line is misleading. There are many factors and we have a good grasp of them. Link in reply.
ME2BNS12
Misleading is just the start, decaf still has a fair amount of caffeine in it.
stvhunt132
Here is a good summary of factors: https://www.healthline.com/nutrition/why-does-coffee-make-you-poop#TOC_TITLE_HDR_3
ilasid
Other chemist here thanks you for the link.
ShenanigansForHireExperiencedBeerTasterAndCraicFacilitator
I usually get the call on line two 90 minutes after my first sip.
AmbientCapitalism
"Just got the call on line 2, I'll be back after I drop the kids off at the pool."
schizznatt
The above isn’t completely true. Caffeine does play a role (as someone with UC who has to drink decaf)
schizznatt
https://healthblog.uofmhealth.org/wellness-prevention/energy-drinks-caffeine-and-your-digestion
justwaitingfortheapocalypse
Viliny
i read it as "two 90 minutes after" and thought it was a weird way to describe 3 hours.
flavivsaetivs
All you people using euphemisms & I'm over here like "I gotta go waste 10 minutes of company time I'm not paid enough to care about."
moodring
10 minutes? Suck up!
flavivsaetivs
Some of us eat our fiber dude.
moodring
Doesn't mean you have to run back to your task.
strangerthong
same and it’s like clockwork
SidonisAntares
The quality of coffee also affects if it makes you poop or not. Places that over roast their beans (sorry Starbies!) are less effective.
E4r3nd1l
Speaking from experience better quality is not the only factor. Instant coffee really does live up to it's name...
TDhattrick1022
Always wondered about that! I like a light roast at home (ASAP poop) and Bucks coffee away from home (no affect). Mystery solved, thank you!
tuckerx78
I wonder of that's on purpose. I can't imagine rushed office drones wanting to get right to work, and shitting themselves first thing.
SidonisAntares
I have trouble believing a corporate brand thinks that far ahead compared to ruining a product they paid for the name of.
LiterallyNothingAvailable
That’s a good point and I’ve never thought of that. I never get the urge after Starbucks, but always after a home brewed cup.
Dissipo
Charbucks
TechnicolorCheeseWedge
For some reason my colon thinks Folgers and colonoscopy prep are the same thing. No other coffee I've had does the thing
LtMashumaro
Absolutely! I drink Folgers, and boy does it make me "go."
Zega000
What if it's that expensive poop coffee? You know the one.
slandr
Kopi luwak
Germhole
Jamaican Blue Poops? Not had that in over 20 years, was $50 a pound back then.
xxPaulCPxx
I had a GF who introduced me to fresh ground French press. I nearly shat myself during my 90 minute commute.
Germhole
Would still depend on the coffee itself. French Press is a brewing technic, pushing grinds through water vs/ gravity pushing water through.
PrincessNakedMoleRat
Fun fact: French press is what I call it when I eat a big breakfast with coffee to trigger an extra large dump.
KlobberSaurus
I am one of the few.
Troteus
One of us...
MadDrPepper
Brother ✊
snowglobeshaker
dalaiyoda
No, I'm Spartacus.
FalafelisImportant
Same. Once I even just smelled a strong cup of coffee and had to immediately go poop ?
Lampmonster
Sadly coffee has began upsetting my stomach because this was old reliable for me.
ilhares
29% doesn't really sound like "few" to me. That's a good portion of the populace.
SxBobOmb09
No shit?
SingingMeAndCthulioDownByRlyehFhtagn
Same
Trankia12
Chloesaurus
Dozens!!
Nuttburger
Well since it’s only 29% I’d say there’s only dozens of the coffee poppers
JaxJamesTheTenaciousTurtle
Same. Its an excellent tool to regulate my poop schedule
WorkSnakes
Me too. I know lots who are. I'm curious if it's more common than 29%
xxPaulCPxx
I too, shall shat with you. My delay is about 20 min.
Chumbawumba369
The proud
NespreSilver
The Marines
speakeasiez
The poop-ees
GetOffMyLawnYa
Sempoo Fi!
iwanttobebobdylan
Sometimes just the thought of having a cup of coffee will make me have to poop.
CubwardOHulihan
I'm not that good. But definitely the smell of coffee can do it.
ilasid
Pretty close to that, a few sips for me and my colon is triggered.
JustTryingToHelpDude
How is 29% "rare"? If 3 in 10 people I meet have someting specific in common, then that's totally normal - just doesn't qualify as "most"
DigiT00l
That isn't even close to a majority, meaning it is rare
flavivsaetivs
3 in 10 coffee drinkers. Some of us don't drink coffee.
TK421isAFK
Given how many people do drink coffee (over 1 billion drink it every day), that statistic is fairly safe to apply to the entire population.
tsuelue
Which is totally legal. So far.
chaoswarrelt
People who have to poop every time after drinking coffee are rare.
TK421isAFK
That was my first reaction. Hell, 29% wins elections in many cases.
JustTryingToHelpDude
haha, true. The party of our current chancellor had 26%, and the coalition partners had 14% and 9%! All rare af ;)
TK421isAFK
"More rare than coffee poopers" should be the new 5/7 rating meme.