inkican
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Mar 7, 2024 4:36 PM
inkican
58777
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kinarism
Ungrateful? Sounds like you're only doing good for praise. We have a word for people like you where I grew up. Christians.
Questionmorality
Pearls before swine
zalurker
It's like I teach my kids. Treat others how you would like to be treated, until you are certain of what type of person they are.
BoomMic
Amen
dixxienormus
I'm in the middle of this now.
Natwitch
I do feel like people take advantage of me a lot. I'm not gonna stop helping when I can but I rarely feel gratitude from them or consideration for me
flamingflamingo
Took me 3 years to stop being nice to the bully who was harassing me at work. I stopped trying to appeal to her logic and trying to be unassailable in her eyes and just straight went out to hurt her feelings and make her feel as helpless as she made me feel.
Cerebero
Subsound
Isn't this just a fact?
breakingthorns
Employ the Mordin Solus method of being good and helping people, "Sometimes heal patients; sometimes execute dangerous people. Either way helps."
Cobalt1
busterfixxitt
And to hateful people. And to those acting or speaking in bad faith. We're just not willing to take their bullshit, anymore.
No wonder so many on the right feel persecuted! "We've been getting away with our bigotry for decades and suddenly NOW your all calling us bigots?! Woke has gone too far!"
Shoutrr
to be faaaaiiiiiir, they hugely, really bigly ramped up their bigotry since 2016
philmoregraves
I don't even want people to be grateful I'm soooo willing to settle with them being better. Them changing for their better and everyone's betterment is legit all I want. I'm tired of the hateful and depression
drheathen
I think this conversation definitely leaped over what was a very fine line and some people are down here posting some terrible behaviors saying they are justified because they didn't recieve gratitude when they acted like a good person.
Mikeythefireman
Those “good” people are only good for the returns they get.
That’s not being a good person, that’s performative kindness.
Kingstonboy
I don't hold the door for anyone anymore, tired of getting walked past and ignored.
Ivoryspeak
And good people get tired of being a listener to someone who just wants to vent repeatedly about the same drama but never do anything to help themself. Oh, and if offering unsolicited advice during the 25th vent, get ghosted. No more time for that!
LincLoud
Very true. I'd say the people I like dealing with the least are 'choosy beggars', those who are not just ungrateful but those who expect more than they're given.
NickRivieraMD
On the other hand, all of the absolute worst people I've ever met were unshakably certain of their own goodness.
jmartkdr
People who think they are good don’t question themselves, people who think they are bad second-guess everything they do, and are often kind to the point of self-destruction. People who don’t know but try anyway are usually the best.
LincLoud
Self-righteous. Those people suck. I'm not 100% certain I am a good person (but, I do hate myself), so I try to do good things whenever possible. I can be ass and have been. Being a good person takes effort, being a self-righteous asshole, not so much.
highnatized
I'm at this point right now. I'm sick and tired of being taken advantage of. Also, on a somewhat related note, I'm sick and tired of arguing with people about politics. Funny enough it's usually the same people
BeneBeGood
? Um, you don't be good to people. You be good. People are just sometimes affected.... am I doing this wrong?
EuroCakes
Bout time for guillotines
JohnSatclaire
Kukabuksilaks
https://youtu.be/acT_PSAZ7BQ?si=Zf64XxbL_97mFs5S
GlassCanon
This due is a freaking treasure to be protected at all costs
tokenhooker
I love him.
TheOneTrueZippy8
Empathy fatigue.
SpaceCoyote300
JimmyWalkerTexasRanger
It took me 10 years to recharge after being nice for the first 40. I was tired, boss. Literally just went out to a friend's birthday dinner with my gf last night and people were shocked I was there. I actually had a great time AND socialized. Been a while since I didn't have that anxiety and dread. It was nice.
TheOneTrueZippy8
It can be exhausting, especially if faced with the ungrateful.
Schlenda
Oh man! You triggered me a bit...I was standing once on the streets, blocking police cars, showing them the middle finger for/against cause X. I am so tired man, so done to fight for the right thing. I just want to have my own safe space and be done with it.
TheOneTrueZippy8
Protest is - by and large - a young person's game. We can all get overwhelmed and ground down at some point.
Kukabuksilaks
Sounds a bit like how my first undeniable symptoms of PTSD came to expression. During a contact in Afghanistan (3rd tour) I was sent to link up and coordinate with the group to our right (I was front man in my platoon, and hadn't been able to turn my head for a couple of weeks due muscles seizing up.. totally not also a symptom, right..?) My sergeant crawled into my position gave me the instructions and I just stood up and walked over there, I didn't give a shit about anything for a looong time
swatz
I think they're actual vampires. They just suck the energy and empathy out of you.
YangKoete
Is that what it's called?
TheOneTrueZippy8
"Compassion fatigue" is another that gets trotted out. All just ways of expressing that everyone has their limits and eventually we cannot continue. It doesn't make us bad people suddenly.
YangKoete
I feel like it does for me. But, hey, just a learning experience.
TheOneTrueZippy8
No-one owns the entire world's problems.
Go easy on yourself once in a while.
SpanishLisp
On the other hand… doing a good deed is its own reward. 🤷🏻♂️
inkican
Not necessarily: https://www.theguardian.com/science/2021/may/23/why-are-we-so-uncharitable-to-those-doing-good-deeds
iusedtodream
No good deed goes unpunished.
kinarism
Bottoms are better people than Tops with very little exceptions.
kinarism
I agree. This reeks of Christianity and other organized religions. People, both good and bad, do good deeds for all sorts of reasons. If you're expecting praise for it, you're not necessarily one of the good people.
inkican
"If you're expecting praise for it, you're not necessarily one of the good people." - Interesting to conflate 'praise' with 'gratitude.'
kinarism
Gratitude is an internal emotion. Praise and reciprocation are the ways that gratitude is expressed. Either you're expecting them to praise your deed, or you're looking to get something in return (reciprocation). Good people need neither to do a good deed. If you're always asking "what's in it for me?", you're not doing good deeds because you're a good person.
inkican
We're getting too far down the rabbit hole
TheyDontKnowAndYouCantTellEm
The ironic part is that gratitude is one of the keys to happiness. Others: /gallery/GBuJMiN
TheyDontKnowAndYouCantTellEm
Perhaps the single biggest thing you can do to be happy: /gallery/qs2kpl7
TheyDontKnowAndYouCantTellEm
Rick Roll some unsuspecting Imgurian
GeneratingSelf
How sharper than a serpant's tooth is an ungrateful child.
inkican
NickRivieraMD
As a parent and a child: what a shitty sentiment.
softballguy
That's just Shakespeare, my guy.
NickRivieraMD
Yeah, in the moment the character's tragic flaw reaches its climax. Shakespeare knew it was a shitty sentiment, why don't the folks who parrot it?
softballguy
It's just repeating one of the most famous lines of one of Shakespeare's most famous works. It's not an *endorsement*.
NickRivieraMD
mm. I don't think so. I think it's become an aphorism.