Mar 15, 2016 1:06 PM
loloadsad
5415
1436
51
tugg
As one person out of seven billion, you also account for 0% of the population.
nitelyechos
who cares which sperm you were there too many people already
alhaja
This would be a lot more impressive if "motherhood" factors weren't just a side note. -1 for lack of interest in female reproduction system
nattysplatty
technically, if you took every single factor into account, the probability of me being born was exactly 100%. but hey, who's counting?
jbomofo
I just think about the statistics of life even existing at all, that scares me a little more
iwishiwere
The lack of commas in the numbers bothered me. Still a fun read though.
BritishBatman
fuck you, i hate life
MyJokesAreLame
I think the odds of me existing were 50/50. It either would happen or it wouldnt
ImSoMetaEvenThisAcronym
Stopped reading at "averagely." Folks, the assumptions of these calculations are pretty much bullschildt. Yes, bullschildt. Google it.
electricpimp
I guess I shouldn't be too upset that I didn't win the lottery then.
heykidrockandroll
but I feel like I should probably go buy one though.
DeliLlama
Actually the probability of me being born is 1:1. Probability is used to calculate the possibility of future events.
idontknowwhyimdoingthis
I wonder, averagely, how many people will waste their time reading that
willport3
Actually, all 45 billion sperm do not, in fact, have their own individual DNA. There are only 8,388,608 discrete chromosome combinations.
capnwacky
But it's not raining and I'm not Gene Kelly.
Kloetus
And here I am, wanting to die
DangerDingo
I'm here because i'm here, and if i wasn't here then i wouldn't know otherwise.
GRIZtheninja
And THIS is exactly why YOLO is stupid.
stardy
that, and proclaiming "yolo" whilst doing stupid activity, is like playing d2 on hc, n gathering all the monsters up as a stay-alive tactic
d2 = diablo 2 /// hc = hardcore... ran out of space
thornofhearts
What Yolo became, yes.
DazzlingCockroach
Welp, another spermatozoide would probably have fared better.
duckfacedguerillabear
I need to quit smoking
JeremyMorton
TL;DR Sperm's cool, I guess.
MyUsernameProblyHasTheMaximumNumberOfAllowedCharactersWhichIs63
Well then... ♫ I'M SINGING IN THE RAIN! ♫
darkonark
Your username, I like it. Upvotes for many of your things.
Why thank you, kind Samaritan :D
welltheysay
I am so lucky I should buy Powerball tickets.
fartbender
Both atheists and believers alike can point to this and say "See! We are each a miracle!"
pancident
Miracles defy laws of nature. This is not a miracle, but still amazing.
I see miracles as something happening despite astronomical odds. No magic needed.
samsonguy920
Except atheists don't believe in miracles.
Isius
I'm an atheist and I believe that things happening that feel like they shouldnt have (really bad odds for example) are 'miracles'.
I'm an atheist and I see miracles being something happening despite astronomical odds. That's all. They don't have to be magic.
BecauseHowHardIsItToPoachAGoddamnEggProperly
That's not really a miracle. Yes those are some big numbers, but chances are a baby is gonna be conceived anyway.
That's what the cynic in me says; since there is no God, the individual doesn't matter, just the biological process, which is commonplace.
but even as an atheist I was just floored by those crazy numbers.
photog
The possibility I was born to be here, right now, commenting about the possibility. = Mind Blown < and that has to be read really slowly
iamapirate
...so will you now PLEASE stop posting on facebook about how the world revolves around you
21cutdryguy
Actually with life expectancy around 80 years, a man will make 58,440,000,000 sperm in his life (at 2 million/day)
TaylorT
Thank you for that! The second I read that number I couldn't get passed it because it was driving me nuts haha!
hatwer
And here I am just masturbating
TheWildRoz
I tip my hat to your wit, good sir
AStrayCat
me too
valenmea
I love Imgur.
DayLoL
Think of all the wasted DNA...
stillcleaning
that little puddle of millions of almost could be children....lmao
Bobbyr
Don't you know that every sperm is sacred?
Saxit
Anything else is a waste of time.
Funks132
I'm reading this post in awe, then I reach your comment. Hardest I've laughed in a very long time. Good job buddy!
indigoroyalblue
That means you're wasting 2,000,000 spermies!
samwise85
This was like that story about the elephant that beats the guy to death at the end and says thats for all of you sending me 1/2
these inspirational stories
mRmennen
"... as if millions of voices suddenly cried out in terror and were suddenly silenced. I fear something terrible has happened."
I used to say that this is why getting kicked in the junk hurts so much
darkdragon7
It's like when they post pics of food and you want to make yourself some food. YOu talk about sperm and you wank to make some sperm.
TheNextBestUsername
Mhm. I see. Interesting. *makes notes* And when I say "sweaty, hairy, plumber's crack," what does that make you want?
Makes me want to play Mario while licking my girlfriends sweat, after all it's still no shave november.
Esparc
I hope you share Mario's love of going into pipes.
murdertron
This only accounts for you genetic makeup. For all we know, your consciousness would have been the same.
(1/2)Your picture of yourself influences how you perceive the world. Even if you'd live through exact life circumstances(which is improbable
)(2/2) you probably wouldn't be the same.
I'm just playing Devil's advocate, I don't necessarily even believe in stuff like that.
Sure, but would it still be "you" with just a different outlook? I mean, people change all the time based any number of factors.
Well if you don't look the same, or think the same... what do you think? What makes someone who they are? Good question.
tugg
As one person out of seven billion, you also account for 0% of the population.
nitelyechos
who cares which sperm you were there too many people already
alhaja
This would be a lot more impressive if "motherhood" factors weren't just a side note. -1 for lack of interest in female reproduction system
nattysplatty
technically, if you took every single factor into account, the probability of me being born was exactly 100%. but hey, who's counting?
jbomofo
I just think about the statistics of life even existing at all, that scares me a little more
iwishiwere
The lack of commas in the numbers bothered me. Still a fun read though.
BritishBatman
fuck you, i hate life
MyJokesAreLame
I think the odds of me existing were 50/50. It either would happen or it wouldnt
ImSoMetaEvenThisAcronym
Stopped reading at "averagely." Folks, the assumptions of these calculations are pretty much bullschildt. Yes, bullschildt. Google it.
electricpimp
I guess I shouldn't be too upset that I didn't win the lottery then.
heykidrockandroll
but I feel like I should probably go buy one though.
DeliLlama
Actually the probability of me being born is 1:1. Probability is used to calculate the possibility of future events.
idontknowwhyimdoingthis
I wonder, averagely, how many people will waste their time reading that
willport3
Actually, all 45 billion sperm do not, in fact, have their own individual DNA. There are only 8,388,608 discrete chromosome combinations.
capnwacky
But it's not raining and I'm not Gene Kelly.
Kloetus
And here I am, wanting to die
DangerDingo
I'm here because i'm here, and if i wasn't here then i wouldn't know otherwise.
GRIZtheninja
And THIS is exactly why YOLO is stupid.
stardy
that, and proclaiming "yolo" whilst doing stupid activity, is like playing d2 on hc, n gathering all the monsters up as a stay-alive tactic
stardy
d2 = diablo 2 /// hc = hardcore... ran out of space
thornofhearts
What Yolo became, yes.
DazzlingCockroach
Welp, another spermatozoide would probably have fared better.
duckfacedguerillabear
I need to quit smoking
JeremyMorton
TL;DR Sperm's cool, I guess.
MyUsernameProblyHasTheMaximumNumberOfAllowedCharactersWhichIs63
Well then... ♫ I'M SINGING IN THE RAIN! ♫
darkonark
Your username, I like it. Upvotes for many of your things.
MyUsernameProblyHasTheMaximumNumberOfAllowedCharactersWhichIs63
Why thank you, kind Samaritan :D
welltheysay
I am so lucky I should buy Powerball tickets.
fartbender
Both atheists and believers alike can point to this and say "See! We are each a miracle!"
pancident
Miracles defy laws of nature. This is not a miracle, but still amazing.
fartbender
I see miracles as something happening despite astronomical odds. No magic needed.
samsonguy920
Except atheists don't believe in miracles.
Isius
I'm an atheist and I believe that things happening that feel like they shouldnt have (really bad odds for example) are 'miracles'.
fartbender
I'm an atheist and I see miracles being something happening despite astronomical odds. That's all. They don't have to be magic.
BecauseHowHardIsItToPoachAGoddamnEggProperly
That's not really a miracle. Yes those are some big numbers, but chances are a baby is gonna be conceived anyway.
fartbender
That's what the cynic in me says; since there is no God, the individual doesn't matter, just the biological process, which is commonplace.
fartbender
but even as an atheist I was just floored by those crazy numbers.
photog
The possibility I was born to be here, right now, commenting about the possibility. = Mind Blown < and that has to be read really slowly
iamapirate
...so will you now PLEASE stop posting on facebook about how the world revolves around you
21cutdryguy
Actually with life expectancy around 80 years, a man will make 58,440,000,000 sperm in his life (at 2 million/day)
TaylorT
Thank you for that! The second I read that number I couldn't get passed it because it was driving me nuts haha!
hatwer
And here I am just masturbating
TheWildRoz
I tip my hat to your wit, good sir
AStrayCat
me too
valenmea
I love Imgur.
DayLoL
Think of all the wasted DNA...
stillcleaning
that little puddle of millions of almost could be children....lmao
Bobbyr
Don't you know that every sperm is sacred?
Saxit
Anything else is a waste of time.
Funks132
I'm reading this post in awe, then I reach your comment. Hardest I've laughed in a very long time. Good job buddy!
indigoroyalblue
That means you're wasting 2,000,000 spermies!
samwise85
This was like that story about the elephant that beats the guy to death at the end and says thats for all of you sending me 1/2
samwise85
these inspirational stories
mRmennen
"... as if millions of voices suddenly cried out in terror and were suddenly silenced. I fear something terrible has happened."
hatwer
I used to say that this is why getting kicked in the junk hurts so much
darkdragon7
It's like when they post pics of food and you want to make yourself some food. YOu talk about sperm and you wank to make some sperm.
TheNextBestUsername
Mhm. I see. Interesting. *makes notes* And when I say "sweaty, hairy, plumber's crack," what does that make you want?
darkdragon7
Makes me want to play Mario while licking my girlfriends sweat, after all it's still no shave november.
Esparc
I hope you share Mario's love of going into pipes.
murdertron
This only accounts for you genetic makeup. For all we know, your consciousness would have been the same.
BecauseHowHardIsItToPoachAGoddamnEggProperly
(1/2)Your picture of yourself influences how you perceive the world. Even if you'd live through exact life circumstances(which is improbable
BecauseHowHardIsItToPoachAGoddamnEggProperly
)(2/2) you probably wouldn't be the same.
murdertron
I'm just playing Devil's advocate, I don't necessarily even believe in stuff like that.
murdertron
Sure, but would it still be "you" with just a different outlook? I mean, people change all the time based any number of factors.
BecauseHowHardIsItToPoachAGoddamnEggProperly
Well if you don't look the same, or think the same... what do you think? What makes someone who they are? Good question.