deafkitten
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Fun stuff.
5m4llP0X
#13 BEA ARTHUR!!
WeAreNotSmilesTImes
#13
Laylah77
That last one…. Ooooh
GoodGuyGonzo
whitecheddarismyrappername
#43 i’m in this picture and i don’t like it
Nathanyel
Come on bro just pick me up one more time.
AK90
I was born in 1990 and I use my phone less than my parents do theirs. It's fucking annoying when both my parents and my sister just sits there scrolling FB >_<
gemaeuer
my phone never enters my bedroom.
TinyRavenFeathers
mwe3
There's an app for that. The one I used to I use is called Quality Time, but actually, there's a setting on my phone now called Sleep Mode. I made it say "bed time, time to go to bed, no more phone, just stop it."
justyouraveragepeacock
I use imgur to go to sleep! My brain just spirals & my thought train derails if I am not engaged in something outside myself so I scroll meme dumps until I can't hold my eyes open. I try not to stop scrolling long enough to comment but sometimes, I must!
thesavagery
MrsBeansDad
Deafkitten's usual high class dump!
WeAreNotSmilesTImes
#33 (Minus the dashing good looks)
Akurei00
They're usually chameleons. People are shocked that the seemingly normal, nice person was a gruesome murderer.
Tenookey
#21
implosion3
I have to go return some videos
JimmyWalkerTexasRanger
#46 LOL, @OP. Ending with a bang.
ktell1234
What is that from? Diamonds it gives.
midrealmknight
Absolutely.
Boxingjedi
just like Kurt...
ItsActuallyDavidNow
I like your memes.
profiledit
I like your gif.
WeAreNotSmilesTImes
#27
ILikeFood2000
Says the kid with the long flippy hair
Jimbo64
That can be changed at a moment's notice.
WeAreNotSmilesTImes
#1
EverNotRelevant
#14 that was about emotional manipulation.
richardstinks
#15 Guy walks into a bar with a little lizard on his shoulder. "I need a beer for me, and a bottle cap full for Tiny."
"Why do you call him 'Tiny?'"
"Cuz he's my newt."
SaganIsMyLordAndSavior
Oh shit son.. that's top tier dad joke level.. I gotta send it to my dad 😅
WeAreNotSmilesTImes
I chuckled sensibly.
Spifflord
Am I the only one that sees the gas price. How long ago was this picture?
ScottPilgrimVSTheIndians
preservedkillicknonesopretty
Excellent dad joke I will be telling my boys asap. I was suspicious but I had to look it up that a newt is not a lizard. My middle son would spend 5 minutes telling me that and ruin the whole joke. So I’m gonna say he had a salamander on his shoulder if that’s ok. Thanks Wild Krafts!
tanebot
Wild Kratts is great.
wylkyn
Wow, that sailed over my head until I read it aloud, then it zoomed back and knocked me the f out! Top-tier.
richardstinks
I think I first stole it from a "next level puns" for nerds book or something similar.
wylkyn
Don't say "stole". Just say "it's an homage".
richardstinks
Good artists "homage," great artists steal.
wylkyn
Heh :)
jenw
#2 doing the joot scoot boogy
TwoSpeedTony
jenw
WeAreNotSmilesTImes
#22 Memes are far cheaper.
profiledit
#27
ItsActuallyDavidNow
WeAreNotSmilesTImes
#6
SterlingArcherSecretAgent
#29 What is it?
AbelardSnazz
a tin whistle
Hoiloidl
Well, it's many a day I've travelled a hundred miles or more,
but tobacco in a tin whistle sure I never saw before
lozeldatkm
Ah you're drunk, you're drunk, you silly old fool!
ScottPilgrimVSTheIndians
A vape pen, and the meme would suggest it's THC resin.
Totallyscrewedinaustin
Not just any vape pen, it's fucking huge, like 10 grams! Also, phototshop, since they don't make any that big, the coil would fuck up and burn out 1/8th of the way through it
bb84president
So, the vape equivalent of a 4’ bong?
Totallyscrewedinaustin
Yup!
wadatahmydamie
#14 Worst one I attended was Easter in 2015 or so. I was there because the girl I was seeing at the time wanted to check out a church in her neighborhood. I'm not religious, she's not so religious she couldn't fuck.
Pastor started out with "You're all familiar with the story of Easter, so I'm going to talk about something completely different." So, off to a GREAT start.
He then proceeded to spend the next hour ranting about how the apocalypse was coming. +
wadatahmydamie
+ Talking about Jesus saddling up, all the angels ready, just waiting for god to give the word.
Anyway, this church was in a wealthy neighborhood. One of the wealthiest in my state. When the pastor asked
"who stands with me?," nobody moved. Then he did his own version of "please clap." "Literally rise. You can stand up now. You can come up here." Fucking nothing. Not one person moved, or talked.
Anyway, we left and did some more worshipping when we got home.
SuperMarketAdventure
KirbyUOR
#31
TinyRavenFeathers
#10
EverNotRelevant
#20 the lion in you wants to achieve maximum napping. Totally valid.
Hoiloidl
I mean, that picture's just a lion in general. Hunting is done by the females.
OhmyBandit
bingtittletittlebong
this one has depth
SteersAndQueers
Ya got a Hoothoot outta me there, bud
Yakeshinu
trigonman3
I think I know that number
pandro
Jenny, Jenny, who can I turn to?
deafkitten
PressMyButtonsBaby
Derfboy
JohnnyLawlessEsq
That was excellently done. Ted Levine's performance is so incredibly hard to imitate.
FaecalJacksonPollock
#36:
ProppaGanda
#14 welp that confirms it, pastors go to hell
ScottPilgrimVSTheIndians
Oh it wasn't all the sexual abuse? /s
ElbowDeepInAJedi
"Sometimes you can have regular abuse, as a treat!" - that pastor
deafkitten
Touchy subject.
ScottPilgrimVSTheIndians
TheBunnyPants
It really shouldn't be
wylkyn
I assumed that was a pun. "Touchy" as in touch, grope, etc. If it wasn't an intentional pun, it's still punny. But yeah, either way, it shouldn't be.
TheBunnyPants
Sorry, forgot to add /s I meant to continue the joke. There REALLY needs to be a sarcasm font. How has technology failed us so?
jonReremy9669
Tenookey
#18 I fell over the other day and someone threw soy sauce at me. There's no need to kikkoman while he's down
DietCokeIsMyDrugOfChoice
daguq
#1 - YEAH! Nick Cave on imgur ... oh. It's a "I did a simple task" post.
Yakeshinu
Welp, now I'm going to be singing about Millhaven under my breath for the rest of the day.
LtGenObvious
I misread that and thought it was 1/1000 of a haven.
xlr82xs
Those junior highschool psychos...
haveanupvotegif
AnUpvote
haveanupvotegif
SterlingArcherSecretAgent
#1 I completed 2 (TWO) such tasks today! Praise me!!!
pupquine
Nick Cave doubts
SterlingArcherSecretAgent
Doubting stuff is generally healthy. My claim is true in this case though :-)
pupquine
Praise is in the order, then.
SterlingArcherSecretAgent
IzzyB13337
A toast to you, my good internet stranger!
SterlingArcherSecretAgent
Thank you! I appreciate it!!
ayeseaturtles
SterlingArcherSecretAgent
Override9636
SterlingArcherSecretAgent
Dragonfury5
Well done!
SterlingArcherSecretAgent
Thank you! :-)
FlatPlutoSociety
I don't believe you. Two small tasks in a single day? No one is that productive!
SterlingArcherSecretAgent
I'll have you know I mounted the motorcycle helmet holder on my wall AND I replaced the upstream Lambda Probe in my car! (Technically I "just" opened the car, tried to replace it but it was stuck, then drove to the workshop and had them replace it by heating up the old one with fire, then drove back home and re-assembled the car - but I got it done! And taking the car apart enough to reach the probe location was a much larger task than I had anticipated lol - but once started, had to finish it.)
SterlingArcherSecretAgent
Btw here is what that stupid stuck probe looks like!
maeta
I CAN'T SEE IT! WHICH ONE IS IT???
SterlingArcherSecretAgent
That one! ;-)