It's so thicc

Dec 7, 2019 3:10 AM

MoistVonLipvigg

Views

105181

Likes

2771

Dislikes

66

P .. put it in my mouth.

6 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

I'm ok with small mistakes, if you got no more chicken I'll take pork, but I'll blow my dad before I eat a burrito with a fork

6 years ago | Likes 5 Dislikes 1

Just gonna unhinge my jaw and eat this whole. Thanks.

6 years ago | Likes 5 Dislikes 0

I have more faith in that tortilla than almost anything else I've seen in my life

6 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

Chronic Tacos are amazing. Mucho Burrito and Queseda can suck it

6 years ago | Likes 8 Dislikes 0

v

6 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

That's a pro. If it won't roll up one way, don't try to force it. Adapt.

6 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

Swaddle it

6 years ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 0

6 years ago | Likes 7 Dislikes 0

That's Dwight's Best Man!

6 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

After my friend Google stepped in there is one in Lakewood, wa. 30 mins north, better not disappoint

6 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

6 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

Is this in Minnesota?

6 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

Tortilla be like...

6 years ago | Likes 33 Dislikes 0

legit lol

6 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

"Burrito"

6 years ago | Likes 142 Dislikes 4

Burrotototoooteeee

6 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

You know at some point it's just a burro

6 years ago | Likes 52 Dislikes 0

6 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

I get unbelievably stressed when trying to wrap anything in a tortilla. I just can't do it.

6 years ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 0

Breathe

6 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

Same. End up ripping the tortilla too.

6 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

Say hello to the $24 dollar burrito

6 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

Patience rewarded.

6 years ago | Likes 10 Dislikes 0

v

6 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

Fuck sandwich artists, this person here is a real artist.

6 years ago | Likes 23 Dislikes 8

A goddamn pro

6 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 1

As someone who was a sandwich artist I wanted to shoot myself in the face everyday

6 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

v

6 years ago | Likes 674 Dislikes 13

He's so stoned he thought he was rolling a joint. (see the shirt).

6 years ago | Likes 5 Dislikes 1

I think it's going to be quite the opposite reaction.

6 years ago | Likes 22 Dislikes 0

No need,bits coming out the same shape really soon.

6 years ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 0

perfect, Lmao. well played.

6 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

Bo Burnham has almost a whole song dedicated to this

6 years ago | Likes 17 Dislikes 0

I mean, it wasn't actually about the burrito, but yeah that's the first thing I thought about watching this gif

6 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

"Wouldnt've got the lettuce if I knew it wouldn't fit, Wouldnt've got the cheese if I knew it wouldn't fit..."

6 years ago | Likes 7 Dislikes 0

Just think that first bite.... all over your lap

6 years ago | Likes 9 Dislikes 1

It actually holds together pretty well.

6 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

Having eaten at Chronic Taco and getting one of these - a gargantuan California Burrito - I can say it has surprising integrity!

6 years ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 0

It stands up straight and easily lets you just fucking dump hot salsa into it for every bite

6 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

i am going to wonder why this is in my favorites later

6 years ago | Likes 80 Dislikes 9

His shirt says Chronic Taco. And just now, so did you IN YOUR HEAD! I'mtotallyfreakin'now.

6 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

Becky, we all know why it'll be there

6 years ago | Likes 12 Dislikes 0

ya got me

6 years ago | Likes 8 Dislikes 1

Because burritos are awesome, right?

6 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

now roll me a blunt

6 years ago | Likes 16 Dislikes 2

Can I load up the bong instead? Please?

6 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

Acceptable

6 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

This may be unpopular but, I'd rather have two smaller more manageable burritos.

6 years ago | Likes 688 Dislikes 21

That’s why I order the tacos at chipotle

6 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Yes, not only will they be more manageable, but you'll get a better mixture of flavors in each bite with a smaller burrito!

6 years ago | Likes 19 Dislikes 0

Yeah, but i'm hungry.

6 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 1

I also ie burrito bowls and using chips to scoop. Prob what you’d end up doing with that monster above too.

6 years ago | Likes 5 Dislikes 0

Thats not what you ordered.

6 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Or lose the wrap and put it in a bowl

6 years ago | Likes 7 Dislikes 0

but then you have to PAY for TWO burritoes

6 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

Or you could stoop being a bitch

6 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 1

6 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

So...tacos?

6 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

It might help if this person learned how to roll a burrito. Start with the side closest to you and tuck the sides in as you roll it

6 years ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 2

Yeah, but when it's too full, doesn't matter what your technique is - that shit's still going to be a pain in the ass to roll.

6 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Fuck you

6 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

And this is why no one will remember your name.

6 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Fuck that, just add a lot of cheese and have it toasted to the thing is glued together. Its what I do.

6 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

Real basses eat burritos as big as their own heads.

6 years ago | Likes 9 Dislikes 3

Fish eat mexican food?

6 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

Nah, I want one unruly one

6 years ago | Likes 11 Dislikes 1

Hell yes, and a forest’s worth of napkins

6 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Nah I have a handkerchief

6 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

See mate, its not about the managability, its about sending a message

6 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

I'll give you a smaller manageable bur.....wait never mind

6 years ago | Likes 13 Dislikes 0

Right it's the same with burgers, I can't stand when they are piled high with crap, it all just falls apart after the first bite

6 years ago | Likes 129 Dislikes 0

Lizard people don't run the government, they run the burger places, and have no idea how wide a human mouth can open.

6 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

They love to do that for aesthetics, but it gets all squishy and makes a huge mess.

6 years ago | Likes 21 Dislikes 0

6 years ago | Likes 8 Dislikes 0

id rather eat rachel ♥️

6 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 1

"Anyone? Anyone? come on, I know you got this!"

6 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

What kinda bullshit tortilla is that? Anytime I try to make a burrito at home I end up punching a hole into it

6 years ago | Likes 1633 Dislikes 6

Gluttony

6 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 4

Military grade?

6 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

At least you make one wrap I can't even do that

6 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

You are obviously not dealing with a Chronic Tacos tortilla!

6 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

American artificial tortilla. OFC

6 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 4

Steamed

6 years ago | Likes 34 Dislikes 1

Getting mad won't help no matter how steamed you are.

6 years ago | Likes 7 Dislikes 0

That tortilla is plastic.

6 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 5

Rookie, you have to use play-doh.

6 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 3

Sawdust and glue, my man

6 years ago | Likes 5 Dislikes 2

I used to bind tortillas with a little cheese, steam it and create a megtilla.

6 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

It’s not tortilla, it’s a condom.

6 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

It's gotta be fresh, well developed, and hot. My burrito place makes the tortilla while you pick filling.

6 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Chipotle

6 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

You must be too rough with your tortillas! You got to treat them like a lady!

6 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

There *is* a hole in that one. It's not integrity-threatening during the roll process or anything, but it's there.

6 years ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 0

One that is at least 110% gluten.

6 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

"i love you everything burrito"

6 years ago | Likes 9 Dislikes 0

Yeah and half the time it's when I'm taking the damn things out of the package

6 years ago | Likes 13 Dislikes 0

I heat them up a bit. It works really well.

6 years ago | Likes 5 Dislikes 1

You need to heat your tortilla thoroughly before trying to do this. Your tortilla is part fat and when cold it breaks instead if bending..p1

6 years ago | Likes 53 Dislikes 1

Imagine bending a cold stick of butter- it would just snap. The combination of the gluten in the flour and the elasticity provided by fat ?

6 years ago | Likes 19 Dislikes 0

You need to find tortillas with a high fat content. My local grocery store recently started carrying some good ones but you might

6 years ago | Likes 5 Dislikes 0

Have to make your own

6 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

You can't really get storebought tortillas with the right gluten content to stretch like that. Gotta make 'em yourself.

6 years ago | Likes 147 Dislikes 7

Ahhh gluten. Hmmm

6 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

I disagree but still want people to make their own tortillas. It's stupid easy and cheap.

6 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

Dude the point is way too

6 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

Someone made the store bought tortillas by themselves.

6 years ago | Likes 12 Dislikes 0

Days ago (at least), in a factory, with ingredients chosen for shelf stability.

6 years ago | Likes 6 Dislikes 0

6 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 1

Dawg Chronic Tacos is a chain restaurant, do you really think they are making tortillas from scratch and not ordering them from Sysco?

6 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

Do people outside the restaurant industry know what Sysco is?

6 years ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 0

Usually it gets confused with Cisco, I think. But yeah, good point.

6 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

They’re a background company just like Southern Glazers or performance foods so I’d doubt it

6 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

I was FOH in my former life, so I know them. Just wasn’t sure other folks would.

6 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

Steam TF outta your tortillas my dude!

6 years ago | Likes 433 Dislikes 1

.

6 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Thank you, you're an angel.

6 years ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 0

can confirm. I work at Chipotle and if they ain't got enough they gonna rip!

6 years ago | Likes 8 Dislikes 1

so thats the reason white people's tortillas taste like shit to me. The only way to properly cook a tortilla is using a comal.

6 years ago | Likes 9 Dislikes 9

Spotted the retard.

6 years ago | Likes 5 Dislikes 13

It's a joke, you can cook tortillas any way you want. Maybe I should had added a "jk" at the end.

6 years ago | Likes 12 Dislikes 0

Works on my wife's tortillas too.

6 years ago | Likes 78 Dislikes 2

Man your wife's tortilla is more like a busted ass bag of nachos now

6 years ago | Likes 9 Dislikes 0

I also choose this guy's wife's tortillas

6 years ago | Likes 93 Dislikes 0

Hope you like extra cream

6 years ago | Likes 24 Dislikes 0