NotBobRoss
207601
4184
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Dec 14, 2016 12:27 PM
NotBobRoss
207601
4184
146
kiwiflavored
In other news: One woman gets raped every 22 minutes in India. She might actually be worse off than this poor sod
DaxSculder
Wouldn't that mean there is over 1400 stabbings a day? At that rate you could wipe London out in 16.5 years provided each stab was lethal
nameisunavailable
realmdweller
To be fair he is a bit of a cunt.
Moose79
If you zoom in you can see the guy getting stabbed
UnknownSquid
Joke aside, so 7% of Londons entire population gets stabbed yearly? Or 1% stabbed 7 times a year? I find these numbers hard to trust.
Thorbane
Well that means you have a functioning BS detector, something that's becoming rarer these days.
picardo
This fact is wrong. in 2015 there were 10,238 stabbings. That's 28/day or just over 1 per hour.
HoraceSlughorn
"What you gonna do, stab me?"
SandersXL
DurendaI
The green knife post?
HolyShitZoom
I get that reference.
Fluffycorn
yeeeeeeeeeeeeaaahh boi
ieatCheezIts
- Quote from man stabbed
MildInconvenience
Lucky bastard, I'd rather die than live in london.
brainstream
Oh that guy! You mean Stabby McStabface?
riggeroo
Surely it can't be EVERY 52 seco... hold on it's my turn. Okay, maybe it is.
LawFiveGuy
Takin' one for the team
JohnSmithterms
That is a bullshit statistic.... at least get the numbers right ffs .... stab stab stab
picardo
in 2015 there were 10,238 stabbings. That's 28/day or just over 1 per hour.
JohnSmithterms
Still not quite right ... that number was all knife incidents... which does not include actual stabbings .... actual stabbing is around 4800
JohnSmithterms
Stab stab stab heyaaaa heyaaaa
v
picardo
Meh, close enough :p
NaturallySelectedFor
I find this post ridiculously hilarious
SeenTheWolf
Bloody southerners.
NGAAHH
That means there are 600,000 stabs each year, for 8.6 million people... 7% of people get stabbed every year in London?
Dualpsiioniic
Lived there, sounds about right. It's a big place which means a lot of seedy areas if you're dumb enough to go to them.
CallingYouOnYourShit
Lived here all my life. Never been stabbed. It possible that this information is erroneous.
Dualpsiioniic
What if it was a really tiny knife? Could still be in there for all you know.
CallingYouOnYourShit
Oh if we're counting tiny knives...
magnesiumshoecovers
Standard says tiny knives account for 80% of incidents. 1/2
TheresAGermanWordForThat
Still better than Limerick.
NeverEatASoggyBiscuit
That's 0.0192% of the population or 1,657 people a day!
NeverEatASoggyBiscuit
Imagine if that were true
CausticSodaPopSaltyAF
Sourceless interwebz meme is sourceless.
bloatedplutocrat
On963
captainaprry
Can confirm. His name is Captain Stabby.
blakeatwork
Now I have the Mr. Stabby theme song in my head
JCrashB
No, it's Stabby McStabface.
SmittyWerbenjaegermanjensen1
I don't know him
captainaprry
He missed last year's captain reunion. He only gets around 51 seconds before the next stabbing. Usually just enough time for a sausage roll.
SmittyWerbenjaegermanjensen1
Damn, I thought for sure he'd make it
ROHBAUCOP
at least not "florida man"!
Racistpenguin
fun fact: florida man is the reason the japanese never attacked the US mainland
ROHBAUCOP
So does he fucken deserve a medal? Unbelievable.
Racistpenguin
Who hurt you?
ROHBAUCOP
Florida man!
madrush
If it were, it'd be people getting their faces eaten
titanc13
Xx11Rebecca11xX
I love Charlie Brooker and Diane Morgan.
davesrandomstuff
WillowRosenberg
Philomena Cunk ftw!
davesrandomstuff
OurDeerGod
Why is there a huge ass canon on tower bridge?
SirChadwellHeath
It's the chimney of the former Anchor Brewhouse. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Anchor_Brewhouse
OurDeerGod
I meant the thing in the middle. But I just realised that might as well be the dock behind the bridge
SirChadwellHeath
Yes, it looks like a landing stage https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/City_Hall,_London#/media/File:Tower_Bridge_from_London_City_Hall_2015.jpg
skwint
Because small canons can't reach France from there. It's further than it looks.
DukeDarkwood
Well, yeah, because you're trying to fire from London. Those emplacements should be on the Channel coast.
ROHBAUCOP
What else can you do, all guns are illegal there!
SPCFlack141
Unless your a lord and above
UnknownSquid
You don't need to be a lord to own a gun. Just have to prove that you are mature enough to carry the responsibility of it.
SPCFlack141
I was being sarcastic. Meaning the ruling class has more right but that usaly is the case with monarchy. Trying to combat the oligarch here
UnknownSquid
They're not. Step father owns several. You just have to keep and treat them responsibly, not like toys. We don't give them to street thugs.
ROHBAUCOP
I read thugs rent them from other thugs. Are handguns still legal for sport shooters in GB? Greetings from Germany with strict gun laws.
UnknownSquid
1) Within certain length restrictions, yes, you can still get sport pistols, although our Olympic team does travel abroad to use the
UnknownSquid
2) specific variants they need to train with. As for thugs, most are too dumb to save enough bus money to get to the job-centre, let alone
UnknownSquid
4) doesn't actually need a gun. There's always exceptions obviously, but keeps the desperate and spontaneous types a lesser threat at least.
UnknownSquid
3) both learn how to access the black market and have enough to purchase from it. The smart criminals know that any crime worth doing
DavidsDungeon
LostMyNudesSendYours
Knives will be banned in the UK soon
BrynRedbeard2
They will just use broken bottles. The UK drunks weapon of choice.
DanteTheEgregore
Let's just ban everything! Seriously, knives are tools, not weapons. There'll always be asshats that want to kill and harm each other.
DanteTheEgregore
Change your culture, not your laws.
UnknownSquid
Carrying tools responsibly for good reason is perfectly legal. Carrying swords, hunting knives, and machetes, in a city centre is not.
UnknownSquid
2) If you genuinely require carrying a dangerous weapon in public for some reason, you carry it in a secure case, not on your belt. Simple.
Metempiric
Knives have already been banned. You can get a long sentence for carrying a bladed weapon...
SoundFuture
I remember seeing blunt butter knives with "over 18 only" on the packaging when I was there.
Metempiric
If you have reason to be carrying knives and they're properly packaged (you're a chef) and can prove it, you'll be fine. If you're (1/2)
Metempiric
Carrying around anything sharp (like a playing dart) and it's clear it's not game related, then you can expect a court appearance!
SoundFuture
I'd have a hard time with that if I moved to the UK to be honest.
DanBartStart
They are already above 3 inches and have to be folding. The fact these are mainly allowed is because of the Sikh religious requirement.
mytigio
And because of the need to cut ropes, open boxes, dig dirt out of your fingernails and anything else a utility knife is good for?
DanBartStart
That also, yes!
quintusfontane
"Let's ban this thing that is in every single house and literally cannot be banned" - Westminster.
Acera
You are dumb and don't know the law/aren't even reading the comments.
quintusfontane
This was actually an attempt at humour on my part. Clearly it was a POOR attempt, but still.
UnknownSquid
Its not illegal to own them. Its illegal to carry around weapons in public. Responsibly carrying tools for good reason, is perfectly legal.
incenderylemons
Along with people
HowDoMyFartsStillSqueekWhenIPoopSoBig
https://cdn.meme.am/cache/instances/folder335/400x/38306335.jpg
LaBix
They recently banned "zombie knives" in the UK. Because they are more stabby than normal knives.
HickLife
Then everyone's just gonna be beating the shit outta eachother in the streets. It'll be waaaay more entertaining
NotBobRoss
This already happens. Have you ever been to the UK?
WhyAreYouASmugBellend
Yeah man I've been jumped by 3-6 man groups 3 times in London. Had me split head glued.
IIPhoenixII
Yep. Lived with two medics who said that we're really punchy when it comes to fighting. Better than stabby and shooty I suppose
HickLife
Oh man really? My apologies I haven't
NotBobRoss
You should visit. Best place in the world! (I actually believe it is, despite my usual sarcasm)
Branmaster4
If that was true we wouldn't have been so desperate to leave when we did.
HickLife
I've always wanted to and I probably will sometime soon
mineovermatter
Btdt...cool but not "best's. One of best though
Klingon00
Because as we all know, criminals obey bans and prohibition always works.
getmepicturesofspiderman
Which is why so many crimes in the UK are committed with guns. Oh wait...we have a really low rate of gun crime...
Klingon00
Guns have never been a large issue in the U.K. Even before ban. Knife attacks and violence however is through the roof and climbing.
getmepicturesofspiderman
ONS records only a 9% rise in knife crime. This seems to match a rise in youth crime - maybe a correlation shows young people are more 1/2
lambaroo
knife crime was a "4 year high" in aug 16. it was almost identical to aug 12 + lower than pretty much every month since a downturn 2010
lambaroo
in regards to overall violent crime, ons report specifically reports no significant change. they explain increased stats at start of report
getmepicturesofspiderman
2/2 likely to just grab a knife from home to commit an offense with?
geordieheretic901337
They are unless it's below 3 inches and then you still need a good reason to be carrying it.
corditedelite
Thats sad. Safety scissor societies
Acera
Yeah but I've never in my life known anyone that's been shot, or anyone that knows anyone that's been shot. Could be worse.
corditedelite
Me either. And my circle is primarily gun owners.
Dinkleboop
Not quite- you need to have a reason to be carrying anything over 3" or any fixed blade, but a folding blade under 3" is considered a tool.
ImMrbulldops
So a 3 and a half inch buck knife is illegal? Different cultures I guess
thisnameistaken
Tbh what are you going to need a 3.5" buck knife in the middle of london for anyway?
despozblehero
How are you supposed to cut steak at "Buckingham" palace without one?
WehWehWeh
Stabbing people, personally.
ImMrbulldops
Super useful tool for all kinds of blue collar work
thisnameistaken
Then you would be allowed it. Knifes and guns arent illegal in the uk just not treated like must have toys
halfwindsor
Has to be a folding knife with a blade less than 3". Anything else needs a valid reason for carry.
ScarlettDolly
Is wanting to stab someone a valid reason?
DukeDarkwood
I think that depends on which part of GB you're in.
halfwindsor
Sadly not.
SoundFuture
In Texas it's 5.5" fixed or folding. Guns anywhere you please but keep your spears and swords at home.
mytigio
How do you people go boar hunting if you cant have spears?
SoundFuture
I'm talking about carrying on your person in public. On your property or public hunting lands you can carry your spears. On private /1
SoundFuture
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ubt19wLNcKM
SoundFuture
property you can shoot hogs out of a helicopter with automatic weapons if you have the means to afford it. 2/
the42
I hope it's not that lady that has a baby every 2 minutes.
AskMeIfImFunAtParties
I kind of hope it is...
the42
BiologicallyHazardousMaterial
She is single handedly keeping the march of dimes going all these years.
caiaHc
OH YEAH? NOTICE HOW YOU SAID LADY, I BET YOU THINK ONLY LADIES GIVE BIRTH YOU CHAUVINIST PIG!!!
mordewolt
You're getting a bit confused,the lady gets stabbed in a hammuffin every 52 seconds and exactly because of it she has a baby every 2 minutes
YourLocalSnitch
There's some lucky bastard who gets to shag that lady every 5 minutes.
blortch
If she's had that many kids, at this point it's gotta be like fucking a water balloon.
the42
Statistically, all of these activities overlap an uncomfortably frequent amount of time. Probably a lot of blood involved.
janedoestolemyidentity
I think ever 3 minutes a kid dies from hunger. Maybe it's these babies. No way she could feed all those.
beardyfaceguy
You're my kind of people.
UWantSumFuk
If she feeds a baby to every other baby that's born, then that should solve some of the issues
janedoestolemyidentity
How you gon' eat a baby without no gums? C'mon, be realistic about this unrealistic hypothetical situation.
DNLGoodGameRE
No way. Because you can go to bed and not be dead and you can die but not be on a bed.
UWantSumFuk
Blender
fusk
STOP STABBING HIM YOU TWATS!!!
LordChewie
Did you just assume that victims gender?
DarthFutuza
Huh I just realized "bastard" always seemed masculine to me for some reason.
Gay4Allah
He did it. He stopped the stabbing.
aarhusianer
He's probably dead by now anyway
TheGoldenHawk
Never
LaTransDragon
Ever
bigdog1983
Again?
MrLamps
Gonna
IPostKakapoGif
Give
BrontTheGoodBoy
You
kruton93
Serious question: Did yall know that twat meant vagina? I always thought it was just like "fool" up until this year.
Sauroctonus
Can be both.
ICanChangeMyUsernameWheneverIWantButIDontBecauseIAmGodDamnLazy
It has a bunch of meanings. For example: Some twat twatted another twat's twat = Some idiot punched another idiot's vagina.
RaultxO
Yes, I learned that watching Misfits. English isn't my first language.
FrozenFoodGuy
Did you know that "lol" is an actual word in Dutch? It means "having fun" or "enjoying yourself"
SmowI
Just don't tell anyone about "Lul"
FrozenFoodGuy
SmowI
I AM NOT COMFORTABLE WITH THIS