My last game session.

Mar 2, 2018 12:49 AM

Several hours later

I’m the DM by the way and the guy that plays the bard never breaks character.

I have fond memories of making my DM say "Holy Shit" because of my bardic shenanigans.

8 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

Coming to join a necromancer's skeleton army doesn't seem like it would be good for your health

8 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Necromancer "alright it's your funeral"

8 years ago | Likes 6 Dislikes 0

This happened to me a few times. I'm laughing so fucking hard.

8 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

In these memes the dice results are always 1 or 20

8 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Was expecting "With Catlike Tread"

8 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Even necromancers like a good tune.

8 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

Resently started Elder Scrolls RP when we rolled stats i got a 4 on int, cant even strategize with my friends. Love staying in character

8 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

I need to play more bards. :( I need to just play more DnD

8 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Bards are fun, DnD is fun. Yes you do to both.

8 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

I roll to play a black midi

8 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

I know they're amateurs but this sounds a hell of a lot like Bojingles in Heroes and Halfwits from Rooster Teeth

8 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Bards. An entire class designed specifically to fuck with the dm

8 years ago | Likes 12 Dislikes 0

Oh trust me most dms have "fuck with bard encounters" ready to go these days demonic pacts are fun

8 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Ahh lol yeah gotta be prepared for those

8 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

My proudest character was the gnome bard I once played. So much whimsy. So much trickery.

8 years ago | Likes 7 Dislikes 0

I played a flirtatious ghoul bard. We were the most kind and forgiving party of PCs. We just occasionally ate those who would refuse to talk

8 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

How did this guy joined your D&D party?

8 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

I heard a loud noise outside and he was on the doorstep looking a bit sheepish. “Hello” he said “I’ve come to join you”

8 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

fucking bards

8 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Scanlan open the door. Scanlan. Ooopen. The. Door.

8 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

Bidet!

7 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

We had a mediocre bard in Rift, but raided with him b/c he was really consistent. One night someone signs onto vent, "Mike can't play(1/2)

8 years ago | Likes 5 Dislikes 0

(2/2) He's in jail. This is Mike's mom." Signs out. No one knew him by his RL name, but we figured out who it was by elimination.

8 years ago | Likes 5 Dislikes 0

He didn't sign on for at least a year afterwards.

8 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

Totally gonna be doing this if I can at my next session!

8 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Fantastic. I would join you!

8 years ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 0

Necromancer: Oh, good. I can always use another skeleton.

8 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Nah, that's what the diplomacy roll is for. Barely failed, I'd give that as the result. Total failure and he would think the bard hostile.

8 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

…out of curiosity, what WAS Gygax's opinion on 3rd Edition?

8 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

v

8 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

I don't break character until the DVD commentary.

8 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

good reference

8 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

So he's playing Gilderoy Lockhart?

8 years ago | Likes 307 Dislikes 1

Oh dear lord I want to make a Gilderoy Lockheart who only specializes in deception and memory alteration.

8 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

Bard talent is based on Charisma stat. Charisma also kinda determines how attracted to you people are/charming/etc. So yes 100%

8 years ago | Likes 56 Dislikes 0

Not just Bards. My Paladin hits things with Charisma.

8 years ago | Likes 18 Dislikes 0

How much you can sway people with your words, either for a god, or to fuck and give you some coins. same thing really ;)

8 years ago | Likes 8 Dislikes 0

Not to mention 'Divine Grace'. Has saved my ass so many times.

8 years ago | Likes 5 Dislikes 0

Our rogue keeps doing this in our campaign. Can't stealth to save her life but can backflip out of a moving wagon Neo-style while 1/2

8 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

head-shotting the driver with a hand crossbow with ease. 2/2

8 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

Dormammu, I've come to join you.

8 years ago | Likes 147 Dislikes 1

"Well pull up a chair, Strange! I've got some beer in the fridge." - Dormammu, if he was in this D&D session.

8 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 2

Dormammu I've come to join you

8 years ago | Likes 24 Dislikes 1

Dormammu I've come to join you

8 years ago | Likes 10 Dislikes 0

Dormammu, I've come to join you.

8 years ago | Likes 33 Dislikes 0

Dormammu I've come to join you

8 years ago | Likes 15 Dislikes 0

Dormammu, I've come to join you.

8 years ago | Likes 12 Dislikes 0

Dormammu, I’ve come to join you.

8 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

It's all fun and games until he OldManHendersons your whole setup.

8 years ago | Likes 55 Dislikes 1

Or Pun-Pun. Both brake the game horribly yet hilariously.

8 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

I think the best I ever scored was 1.5 and 1.75 Hendersons. I'm not sure if it counts though because it was only like 85% intentional.

8 years ago | Likes 7 Dislikes 0

Then it's a story worth telling

8 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Memory is a bit fuzzy on the specifics but the TLDR is we were dealing with a Cult that had taken over a large PD, so we started a massive

8 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

gang war and loosely arranged a major gunfight thereof to take place near the PD drawing out most of the cultist/cops. We went to sneak in

8 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

during the chaos and before we could done and get out the fight got too big for the police who retreated to the PD with the gangs in pursuit

8 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

Explain

8 years ago | Likes 17 Dislikes 0

Old Man Henderson was a Canadian Vietnam war veteran who single handedly beat a Call of Cthulhu campaign set in modern day America

8 years ago | Likes 12 Dislikes 0

Hendersons motivation for hunting cultists was that he thought they stole his retirement plan, 40 000$ worth of lawn gnomes.

8 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

He was too young to have served in 'Nam, but that didn't stop him from having flashbacks.

8 years ago | Likes 8 Dislikes 0

I like to think that he was just a timeless sort of person

8 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Old Man Henderson "Won" Call of Cthulu by having a 300+ page background that explained his world-breaking capabilities 1/???

8 years ago | Likes 8 Dislikes 0

"Waffle House Millionaire" (the 4channer that explained his character) said he made the character to combat a "Killer DM" 2/???

8 years ago | Likes 8 Dislikes 0

He made the character's background so obscenely long to ensure the GM never checked and to add things at will to fuck w/ the DM 3/4

8 years ago | Likes 7 Dislikes 0

GM*

8 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

The character has become so legendary in the tabletop circuit the "Henderson scale" details how seriously you've ruined the GM's Plot.

8 years ago | Likes 7 Dislikes 0

Our last bard learned that there are some situations you can't bluff your way out of.

8 years ago | Likes 33 Dislikes 1

Clearly you have never heard the tale of the bear that convinced a kingdom he was actually a cultured gentlemen.

8 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 1

You just need to seduce your way out.

8 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

My current bard's learning that you can go quite far indeed on naught but an old man costume.

8 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

No but if they're any kind of Bard they can Fuck themselves out of it.

8 years ago | Likes 25 Dislikes 0

8 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

Dandilion?

8 years ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 0

It was a rockslide.

8 years ago | Likes 13 Dislikes 0

Nobodies ever explained where earth elementals come from to you I see.

8 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Fuck the largest boulder. Assert dominance.

8 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

Rocks can be seduced. That's what Bards do.

8 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Shout "Rock Lobstah" as you're swept away. You may die but you'll still win.

8 years ago | Likes 11 Dislikes 0

Down, down!

8 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

Psssshhh, just gotta convince the barbarian to throw you to safety.

8 years ago | Likes 5 Dislikes 0

He was busy causing a rockslide.

8 years ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 0

touche... Too low level to cast Leomund’s Tiny Hut? Cause that thing is a literal life saver.

8 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

A bard rolling a 1 one a skill check is still likely to end up with a big total. 1 isn't automatic failure on skills.

8 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 1

We keep it as a critfail when in enemy territory. If in town or exploring with no obvious baddies around it takes modifiers as normal.

8 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Depends. Some DM's let 1 fail and 20 succeed to have at least 5% pass/fail rate.

8 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

RULES AS WRITTEN, MOTHERFUCKAAAAAAA

8 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

DM rules always end up on top. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

8 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

5% of locks popping open just cuz you give it a try is dumb.

8 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

0% chance of failure is dumb.

8 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0