Kazilik11
128576
4005
34
Dec 16, 2019 11:37 PM
Kazilik11
128576
4005
34
DeveloperDan783
As long as it runs!
Navrodel
The first step is getting it to run. The second is a run-time that can be measured with seconds.
QuincyJazz
Today's the day you almost caught a bug in my work.
Bizarkly
Pirates code; redcoats maintain...
Pandemic2020
Functionality before aesthetics
UserSubLurkerMan
Ouch, my professional life.
Thefilthwizard
https://github.com/Droogans/unmaintainable-code
repsac
it me!
tclothingw
hahaha, I love it
Schlagerfuzzi
well.. does it? https://imgur.com/MsXVp2G
Gradwin
UselessIgnacio
This fits well for medical codes in my hospital haha.
Tarmaccian
"Though a program be but three lines long, someday it will have to be maintained." -The Tao of Programming
Knifeywifey
Thanks! I love finding coding stuff to share with my hubby. Love me a computer geek.
DigitalMau
tumblr?
marcopauladam1
uplock
"we'll clean it up next sprint....."
IThinkYouGotAFineBrainJack
Your code runs?
tReasonoustRump
Arkvoodle
You'd be surprised how similarly those two codes run.
TinyLiehon
It's mostly 2 very chonky bois with huge grip strength. Unless weighed down the boat would float to the surface
CommentBot2000
I have to run a query that takes a few hours, thanks for the reminder to kick it off and go to sleep.
krome123
Hive?
CommentBot2000
SQL via API to Salesforce. Pull down tables at night, run queries in the AM
TrueShoba
A friend/co worker once said about my code something very beautiful and wise: "Your Code is like art... I don't get it."
UserSubHunterOfIndeterminateGender
90% off all Perl programs ever written.
nzgeek
What a bargain! ?
Lefthandofgod
That's basically how Bethesda develops games.
Malthraz
I dusted off Skyrim the other day. What a heaving piece of shit that is. Can't believe I ever finished it.
TheCheshireKhajiit
Bugthesda lol
BenSnow97
they're not bugs, they're just surprise features
Nuttburger
No need to make a complete game when your fan base is built of modding the fuck out of your games
ThereWasNoMovieMadeFromOurShow
https://www.nexusmods.com/skyrimspecialedition/mods/266 "unofficial skyrim patch: hundreds of fixes for quests and items" all by the modders
FallingStar7669
I once had someone say, with a straight face, "Just wait until the community fixes it before you buy it."
DeadSchrodinger
#autocad
finnishfriend
r14 on Windows NT, that's when I started.
ZachariasWolfe
You haven't used inventor, have you? Same damn company and printing is totally different and awful.
CptCaboose
Cause Inventor's an idiot and wants to update the 3D part for the 2D to be loaded...
DeadSchrodinger
Have you figured out how to save Inventor print settings yet?!
ZachariasWolfe
My coworker wrote a VBA macro to send prints to the proper printer/plotter based on sheet size, it even checks every sheet.
DeadSchrodinger
I love how if you want to use Autodesk products to draw pretty pictures, you have to be an expert programmer first.
ZachariasWolfe
Nah, that's just if you want to do it repeatably and efficiently.
catnipHip
How that code runs, more likely:
idontwannayoucantmakeme
Goddamn runaway scripts...
RacistAltmer
pauliexclusions
Well done.
KhevaKins
Stack overflow. Got it.
qtRaven
So... Fast?
criticalmassdriver
I see someone created a infinite loop this code is broken.
chewbakken
The people chasing him are devs who have tried to edit the code.
Myrati
Truth
PearjuiceATX
Out of memory, dump the heap and restart jvm.
BenSnow97
why the fuck is it on the jvm in the first place
temujin9
Company policy, probably.
BenSnow97
one of the two acceptable excuses (the other one is android)
Morg729
eetsumkaus
someone hasn't worked customer side before...
fnurglbhurg
The what now?
FallingStar7669
//Stole this from somewhere. Not sure how it works. Good luck, Future Me.
OHGODBEEEES
Future me: man, past me is a diiick
TheodoreBuckland
There's only one thing worse than reading someone else's code, it's reading your own code from a year ago.
Drakenborn
Every Teacher: "Comment your code!" Every Coder: "You should ALWAYS comment!" The Only Comment: //FUCK YOU JEFF YOU GAP TOOTH BITCH
ChrisWise
I always named my functions things that I remembered but would just confuse the shit out of my coworkers, like (f)childYeet (deleted emojis)
ChrisWise
Or (f)itsBrittanyBitch just filled your screen with unicorns hahahahaha
dreikommavierzehn
Code review time, let's pop some cherries!
greentights
... except when you're supposed to write super readable code that doesn't require comments -.-
dreikommavierzehn
I heard your quote at every company I worked at. Followed by a grin and "I don't remember how it works" 6 months later.
FoxySpirit
2 weeks later: I swear this was super easy to understand back then!!
LabyrinthBuilder
//Do not touch this method. It works and I don't know how.
mondeca
This is the only comment I actually respect. Others I might assume I know better, but never this one.
FoxySpirit
//from here on out, black magic happens
LabyrinthBuilder
//For the last time DAVE, do not try to optimize this
mondeca
Documentation?
Laposed
futureman3000
KhevaKins
"Press red button marked go. It make go. Red make it go fast."
ItsMoreComplicatedThanThis
https://external-preview.redd.it/9UpRl6lJVqRxtBA51o1HSbQk-1sl361fecKGwn7Jtiw.jpg?auto=webp&s=f51d113db5f6382441932459cb270e9c33775969
ejether
I’ll write it after I write the tests.
JohnMike64
But it works why do you need tests
ejether
This guy gets it
Jarjarthejedi
I think they mean the 4 comments scattered throughout the 1000 lines of code. Two of which are outdated, of course :P.
B44a
If the comments arent at least as confusing as a choose your own adventure then what are you even doing?
greentights
and one's a TODO
GeorgeBoutin
And the other is a comment about how shitty the next function is because of lack of time.
WellEverybodysHeardAboutTheBird
hey, functionality before efficiency
UlphSvenson
NO. OUT.
PedestrianElectrobastard
...Wait.
Arrrrgggggghhhh
Sounds like something written by an Engineer...
Thefilthwizard
I'll just leave this here https://github.com/Droogans/unmaintainable-code
QuantumSpaceTacoGuitarist
Indeed, leave more open/vague for future functions/ calls/jumps
eetsumkaus
until you realize to hit your performance goals, you need to completely refactor everything
GeorgeBoutin
Technical debt crunch time!
namAehT
And then you finally tackle efficiency and can only shave 2 minutes off of a 3 hour run time and you feel like killing yourself.
Alurkerforcedtologin
Well, if you didn't write it in Python... /S
jennym123
Until the dev forgets to comment their code and it eventually becomes indecipherable technology from the Dark Age of Technology.
ReginaKasteen
TheWhiteRat
When that's the paradigm you want, please just write it in Python. Not 15,000 lines of unreadable, extremely inefficient C#. Such horror
[deleted]
[deleted]
Alurkerforcedtologin
Fuck
DvD1
Surely you mean C, not C#. C# is pretty good.
TheWhiteRat
I do not, code at work is in C#, written by someone very incompetent. Though the second worst I've seen was in ANSI C.
PontiacGTX
C# is more performant than python http://www.bioinformatics.org/benchmark/results.html
TheWhiteRat
Well of course, C# has a JIT. But Python is better for "just fucking work" tasks, and you kind of know what to expect with Python.
DavidBrooker
Our computational physics work goes: 1. Make numbers; 2. Make pictures; 3. Make the *right* numbers; 4. Make the *right* pictures; 1/2
DavidBrooker
5. Write your paper; 6. Write your thesis; 7. Graduate; 8. Get a job, get married, settle down; 9. Optimize your code. 2/2
SaraFourImgur
Let the SOB after me figure it out
Spiderbubble
Until that SOB is you. Actually, then it's doubly true.
cyanideslushie
Job security
Ilikecreativepeople
*with no annotation
Mechame
My code is the documentation
Ilikecreativepeople
"Cool cool cool... (gunshot)": the 1st year intern asked to fix or update your build. Be kind & annotate unless ur tryin to f the ppl/compny
Silas007
What if you wanna f the company but not the people?
Mechame
Lol, I know. I comment adequately. Just kidding.
c0nman
I don't even know how to code but I know these are cursed words
Nephus
I'm fairly certain, the only people that do this actively delete their comments to avoid being replaced.
DefinitelyNotMadeOfBees
Fuck ppl who don't write comments into their code. Fuck them. With cactuses. Sand-papery cactuses.
IAmCNR
Come and fuck me yourself, coward
Ilikecreativepeople
Means they "did the magic" but left no notes for anyone to follow or understand their train of thought ... Generally considered a dick move.
badmagic
“Hocus Pocus”