OldSchoolCoder
274738
9260
296
Jul 19, 2017 1:52 AM
OldSchoolCoder
274738
9260
296
handbanana13
Yeah! Cuz fuck kids.
toystory2wasok4
... yeah, that never fucking happened
notinmywatch
i don't believe you, you surely offered him some drugs and a hooker. Shame on you Charlie Sheen.
blackholevoid10011
You brilliant son of a bitch.
PUNNYguy65
I just have to look at a child to make him cry
XeononSolomon
RE:FWD:FWD:FWD Paid to make children cry
NikkiDawsin9
I dnt believe that for a second
emmereffer
Amusing repost.
timevortexx
its true i was the fireplace
SilentScreamsX
Something something I'm a cynical, repetitive Imgur asshole this didn't happen.
Gluseph
I work at a hotel and never is it boring. I almost got jabbed with a heroin needle yesterday and someone drew me a mural in poop today.
leftbanana
Good parenting skills
LooseWomen
Plot twist - he actually was left in the hotel as a child.
WTBGold
And that little boy's name was Albert Einstein.
thatwoodguy
Now THAT is job satisfaction
bullfuckinshit
The dad gave you his tip
sphazpou
I was at Wal Mart this weekend and there was a boy throwing a tantrum. The cashier said that grumpy boys have to bag stuff. That stopped him
andybandy
I dont care wether true or not. Dat shit's funny
ImLyingToYouGuys
Fuck all your cynical asses. Just enjoy the damn story and believe a little.
CardsinMA
That's a win-win right there. My wife gets mad at me when I talk shit to her nephew, but he's an asshole and deserves it.
RandAIFlagg
Generally I take stories like this at face value but here's the bullshit alarm: people don't tell stories about their work and refer to >
RandAIFlagg
> it as "a hotel lobby" - I don't refer to my office and say "so a guy was sitting in a waiting room" - I would specify my waiting room.
DonkeyFlavoured
A joke so old that small children as chimney sweeps was a thing
homoerection
You're doing gods work
Altaneen
The whole lobby cheered.
qaaaaa
The whole bus clapped
OnlyCats
And that kid grew up to be Abraham Lincoln
Borplesnorfle
And then someone shot him.
Jonmbram
I got left in the grocery once because I was being a shithead kid in public. Never did that shit again.
TheCommissar1020
Yep, my mom did that to me as well. Looking back, I fuckin deserved it.
Jonmbram
Another memory comes to mind: I "stole" a matchbox car from the grocery, and when I realized what I had done I asked mom to turn me in. 1/2
twothousandfourhundredseventytworice
Yeah and?
Jonmbram
So we went back inside and I was crying so hard in shame I could hardly apologize to the store clerk. They gave me the car anyway. 2/2
rares215
Aw, that's adorable!
IHaveWayTooManyChildren
If only I wouldn't get CPS called on me, I'd do it too
DrMcTouchy
I tell my kids this. I'll say "fine, I'll let Walk Mart raise you. Come see me in 12 years."
usernmae
Things that didn't happen for $400.
theycallmeMrGlass
Yes it did, it happened to my sister's friend's uncle. Swear!
BrosephStalinTheSecond
*gives $10* thank you.
whatevenarecats
Probably never happened, but funny nonetheless
Rakugabi
Reality is stranger than fiction. You wouldn't believe why I had to park my unicorn in the middle of nowhere last week.
swatz
I've commented to kids before in public based on conversations they're having with their parents and had the parents wink/smile at me.
SomethingsNotQuiteRight
/r/nothingeverhappens
Crimpwithyourthumb
I mean you're probably right. But it's not full of anything that's not well within reasonable possibility.
Zapster109
A story can be true without actually happening. Just ask Tim O'Brien and my AP Lit teacher.
tThomas633
what is this entire story
Bevicks
*Things that didn't happen for $10
msturge
He just said, it happened for 10 dollars.
DeltaBird
OldSchoolCoder
It's an old joke. But that doesn't mean that it never happened. Or never will happen.
UndulatingTerrain
So a made up story that could be real can be told as if it happened just because it could have happened? That's fake news.
SederHishtalshelus
I like that
neeneeboo
I do this kinda thing as a hairdresser all the time!
peaches8597
And someday all of my laundry will come out of the dryer folded
pinecone
I think actually as it is old joke, it's likely that some people have used it exactly because of that. Kids don't know the old jokes yet, so
mcpaddy23
Had a lady in a supermarket play along with mine. Pretty sure all parents do this.....right?....guys?
OfficialDanQuayle
Some of the truest stories never happened. What of it?
LizardsInTheSky
This scenario happens all the time. The ten dollars doesn't always happen but still not unbelievable. Why so cynical?
itsybitsyspider
I think people are tired of people making up shit to get attention. Like the lady who supposedly gave a Walmart employee a hug and comfort--
itsybitsyspider
-- and when looked into, they said it never happened but she kept claiming it did.
RainbowGandalf
Getting paid to make a child cry. nice
TrijezniMujo
I do that... I draw blood.
MacDaddySmitt
Livin the dream bud
governmentgavemeagun
Where do I sign up?
DrKriegersClone
Living the dream, right there
DougDeNasty
I had a job like that, it was driving school buses.
1993f150
Oh the stories I could tell....dogs air brakes kids not sitting like they're supposed to....bounce
ImFuckingBritish
Two birds with one stone
ComeJoinTheMurder
That's how I felt coaching gymnastics most of the time... Not the most skilled students, but I'll be damned if they weren't the best behaved
nclu
Pediatric phlebotomist. Then you're paid to make them cry by sticking them with a needle.
PokoOnoandtheJamJams
How do I get that job?
klinger
Literally am everyday occurrence in education
Luminade
I'm a dentist. It's pretty fun.
cataleap
Your paycheck must also feel so nice at the end of every month.
BearsBeetsandBattlestarGalactica
As a teacher, happens on daily. Cha-ching
Kingdingalingdong
he's just like my kindergarten teacher, he got paid to that and also.. the 11 finger game. I would sit on his lap and (1/2)
Kingdingalingdong
he would put all 10 fingers up in the air and would say, "Hey bud, do you feel the 11th one?" I did... in ma bum
EvilKam
Kids sometimes need to be scared straight.
Syrupdrizzler
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eNZsWIzEhP4
Gayforbae
What happens when you go too far and they get scared gay?
Donation123
is... is that how it happens? I had no idea.
m3m0ryleak
Not a goddamn 4 year old.
filthymansock
Eh, the kid won't remember it and the parents were saved from having to drag their kid out of a hotel lobby kicking and screaming. Win/win
Partytor
Haa he probably will. If there's one thing kids remember it's getting hurt and getting scared.
HurrDurrImABurr
Bullshit. He will remember. He's 4 years, not 4 months.
filthymansock
If my kids remembered everything that happened when they were 4 I'd be blown away, and they're only 8. 1st bee sting? Yes. Random lady? Nah.
superhistorynerd
A little advice: never threaten your kid with something you can't really follow through with, i.e. leaving them somewhere.
spudpicker
Too right. And once you've lost credibility, it takes forever to earn it back.
FrozenFoodGuy
My mom once threatened to put me outside in the snow if i didn't get dressed. Called her bluff. Damn that snow was cold!
VindictiveRidge
When I was 5 or so, my mom had a harness and leash for me because I thought it was funny to make her chase me. I got tied to porch rails >
VindictiveRidge
and signposts on the regular.
popejubal
I threatened my kids with that once, but I did leave them there. They believed every threat I made ever since then. Always follow through.
superhistorynerd
Or, throwing them into the turnbuckle
Bigbrother44444
Punderstandable
Apparently we have different definitions of 'can't'.
superhistorynerd
Good point, maybe not willing to do?
anakhasilver
I mean, you can, but then you'll probably get arrested for child endangerment.
maximuminnovationstevejobs
Only if you get caught Debbie Downer
isavag3
laws on discipline for children have changed a lot in the last few years. I've been left behind and also whipped wherever we were at.
isavag3
the secret was that I wasn't ever left behind. I threw a tantrum, was warned, didn't stop, and when I looked up I didn't see mum.
isavag3
but she knew where I was. just scared the piss out of me.
Nigbac
As a small child, my mom left me in random fields and just came back for me in a few minutes several times. It frightened me to correct my 1
DigYourselfBaby
Are you a deer?
Nigbac
Yes, you fucking got me m8.
Nigbac
2 behaviour.
MolestTheStars
how effective could it have been if she had to do it multiple times?
Nigbac
I was exaggerating, it was only a few. Regardless, does explaining something to your child, shouting at them, physical abuse, or 1/2
Nigbac
2/2 literally any other method of instructing and disciplining children works for life after only a single use?