littleflowerchild
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Boyfriend: //groans and mumbles "You can't have it. It's mine." Then proceeds to snore like a dying hyena.
I guess I don't get the D.
FP EDIT: Hello front page! So he says he doesn't remember a thing, but thought it was hilarious. Glad everyone felt the same. Hope you all have a great day!
JasonForge
I'll get the bitch a cappuccino, bitches lovecappuccinoes.
Willum
I tell my wife 2X a week "You have my consent for sex, always. Start without me, wake me up. I'll catch up." Sometimes she does. So hot...
handbanana13
EscapedLewdist
My wife just takes it while I'm sleeping, I usually wake up eventually lol
callingalljanmichaelvincents
ggcakes889000
I honestly would rather sleep than have sex with my bf ? it’s pretty depressing.
MyCatSleepsOnMyFace
Sleep is sacred
TheSwallowSavvyGuard
Okay I have to ask. What's a good espresso machine for this, and what kind of cream to use?
NormalSightMan
Is he with Ben? Ben's a ho.
thebadhorse
@OP bundle of sticks. This has been reposted a million times.
mickytease
BESERKER!!!
chaoticyoyo
Stick stick stick
BubbaRunski
Yeah, yeah, he said no, whatever. But that coffee is a masterpiece!
ForTheLoveOfSporks
Sum fuck please
v
AbridgedKirito
It hasn't even been a month and you repost already
Hoodwinker27
No! Just coffee.. thanks!
CaliCrow
She's leaving out she asked after 2am on a work day when I'd been out cold for 4 hours already enjoying weird dreams. Lady. >:(
littleflowerchild
Oh hey boyfriend. Correction though - it was 1:30AM. Love you!
destess
thanks
lethalin
Doesnt matter , had .... ice cream.
EricFromAccounts
No Ron, go find Becky
MyNameIsPer
Lemme smash! Please
ComicallyLongUsername
Becky is smashing Ben now. Ben is a hoe.
yyak
Fuk Ben
Dogespuder
OPGotDatSack
EnderMoth
The things Khajiit will do for coin
jomama64
Cup and saucer should be blue.
RavennaMagnus
AdoIfHitIer
Your dude should consider himself lucky. As an ugly guy, having a girl actually ask me for sex is pretty far up on the "won't happen" list.
Melanisia
Keeping yourself fit, well groomed, and healthy goes along ways, and charm has very little to do with looks.
AdoIfHitIer
Being fit, well groomed and being charming doesn't make up for being unattractive. Only in fantasy world.
Melanisia
Says the ugly ass mother fucker who married Eva Braun....
IWantAllTheCutePuppers
Just suck it anyway. They love it
TashaYar
Unless that's something you both agreed to beforehand, I don't think that's okay.
PrincessDonaldTrumpBANNED2
Nah, most guys will not say no to a blow job. But don't expect anything back unless he wanted sex in the first place
DaMackies
Your boyfriend is gay, just be prepared.
nitroghost
or you know. tired. men can refuse sex too
YetHereIam
I have never refused sex. Never will. However, I have an abnormally high sex drive and the wife unfortuantely ... abnormally low. : (
TashaYar
Or OP could be a guy.
PrincessDonaldTrumpBANNED2
His bf could be straight
CaliCrow
This all made me chuckle. I'm the boyfriend, we both woke up to this trash on FP. I had weeeeird dreams.
hatefakenews
awesome
SoHighFashion
dsalaSpaceHero
Where is this from?
legalisegaymarijuana
Korean horror movie bout a giant monster, forget the title
dsalaSpaceHero
Thanks
SoHighFashion
Oh god idk man sorry :(
dsalaSpaceHero
:(
MartinhoDenHaag
Seduce him so he cant resist you, asking for sex is so...pasionless.
Theauthenticdonaldtrump
PrincessDonaldTrumpBANNED2
Rub your pussy on his face while singing the national anthem
Slydevil13
My dick would salute the flag pretty fast with that method
ThighMeatese
Most American thing I've heard all day
lostinconvolution
Sounds like something princess donald trump would say
xkod46035
Yeah if that doesn't work you got a communist on your hands
feeltheice
And at that point death should be slow and agonizing. Because everyone know that commies are not real people.
Bcogz
Or in your hands.
Tkeleth
on your clit*
LimitedCause
Is that how rednecks do it?
PrincessDonaldTrumpBANNED2
That's how all Americans do it
Whty706
I dunno. I'll pretty much drop whatever I'm doing if my wife asks for sex. Doesn't work when I'm 90% asleep though...
Tkeleth
Works for me. I'm pretty sure I've been 90% asleep through a few rounds of sex up until the last minute or so. Wife always jokes about (1
Tkeleth
sending some girlfriend in here to see if I would sleep-bang her. lol (2
Whty706
It's happened once or twice (not the ex) but usually she says something when I'm dead to the world and I don't remember until she is
Whty706
Walking out of the door for work. Damn my not wanting to wake up
NickRivieraMD
yeah but let me turn this around. Do you have any idea how to seduce a woman you're already with? I sure don't.
MaxZimuss
Helicopter. Works every time.
IsayiLoveYouaLot
This
DireSnails
My guy hugs me from behind, lightly bites my neck/shoulder, and tells me how much he wants me and what he wants to do to me. Sploosh.
PinkProzac
This! So much this!
EnderMoth
Treat her like you're still trying to get with her, she shouldn't feel less special just because she's in the bag
OhJesus
This guy here. He knows what's up.
EnderMoth
OhJesus
Even better. This lady ^ for sure know's whats up