brobrobrourboat
427610
10998
223
May 4, 2017 12:39 PM
brobrobrourboat
427610
10998
223
OctorokObama
Lost it at "still crippled as fuck but mostly healed."
DickAsHardAsLife
Crippled AF. Good to shirt idea
bigassballs1
I'm gonna be that guy...but how exactly how does he go about "being gay". I mean I get it, he's attracted to dudes. But does he have a BF?
kreddii
Roasted Buds
SirBrendan
Problem is, it sets up a nasty standard where we're expected to take a joke about us being gimps. It's nice and all, but a complicated thing
comedownstairsandsayhello
I know him! He goes to my university and came to one of my classes to speak about what it's like to have CP. Super cool guy.
GTPTB
He's gay. It should be DP, not CP.
comakind
I am disappointed by the community. Just because he isn disabled and gay they stop? It's a cool guy, okay, but it's not equal
svelorum
great sense of humor. have a yt? u look like a gamer. would love to watch.
olddirtybingocaller
That dude is awesome.
moonXbeam
Legend
IllerThanExpected
You're*
SirTinyPenis
There it is
yeahrightshaun
This pleases me.
fudgepuppyorangecake
Keep up the good work
TheDudeSkywalker
So he's a tomato?
JustYourLips
This dude is awesome and hot. Too bad the lucky gays get to have him. :(
krapmyself
Well, he's got the wrist motion down.
JNeil
This is a trend I definitely cannot hop on.
omegamonster
sex life must be shitty.
nuclearboner
They call me tater salad.
emguhraeb
I would totally date him. Humor is hot af
MisterMachete
i too, have cp
JadedWombat
Better delete that before the FBI finds you.
CatsandDnD
He's awesome. Wish I had even half of his sense of humour.
SocietyOfSensation
How do you fall off stairs when you are crippled as fuck and cant walk?
PolkaNeverDies
It's possible to fall out of your wheelchair. Plus some people can walk a couple steps, even if they mostly need a wheelchair.
fuckyouandyourwittyusername
By trying to roll down them.
HowIsThisNotTakenByNow
Didn’t get the fruit part? english is not my first language
usernametakenisthestoryofmylife
A guy once entered the elevator in a wheelchair. "Psssh, just one floor?! use the stairs!" I jokingly scoffed. He thought it was hilarious.
GiantButtHead
I love people who can take a joke.
TekPriest1975
The world would be a much better place if even 50
TekPriest1975
percent of us could just take a damn joke.
baconhappenis
"Still crippled as fuck" got me! This guy is awesome!
Poopstacker69
I KNOW THIS GUY!!! His name is Mark and he's basically a badass
IwishIwasNeverBorn
Sometimes, i'm sad about my life. Then posts like this come up. While i despise the fact that i exist, i'm still lucky i'm not handicaped.
olegh
And then you feel worthless for feeling like a turd when people that are objectively worse off still seem to manage this "life"-thing better
PolkaNeverDies
A lesson I learnt when getting used to being disabled was that it's all relative. Don't feel bad about this. Your problems count.
PolkaNeverDies
If you break your arm in one place, and I break mine in two, that doesn't mean you loose the right to feel bad for yourself.
underunderpants
Username checks the fuck out.. damn dude
punkrockrat
As a disabled person, using us as fodder to make yourself better bc you see us as so unlucky is kind of offensive. We have rich lives too.
IwishIwasNeverBorn
punkrockrat
*feel better
shakexandxbake
BillOreillyisaSexualPredator
*yoink
spakatak
He was complimenting his pretty dope.
peopleperson
I'm holding on to this.
AnusReadyToBeRavaged
What the fuck is this MSN messenger?
SyDiko
Or you are
CatBlaster5000
Who the fuck says "You are", are you fuckin North Korea!?
TrebuchetLaunchingFeces
I am not a country, no
CatBlaster5000
LIIIIIIIIIEEEEEEEEEEEEES!!!
TrebuchetLaunchingFeces
Hey, I recognize your name, have we argued before?
MrMeems
I didn't know I needed this.
SelectionSteam
I'm just gonna "borrow" that.
Cocacoladinosaur
*b'orrow ;)
underunderpants
we can end the roasting thing now.... because that was fuckin brilliant. kids a good sport considering
DarkAshelin
Not good AT sport tho.
youaintseenme
Seems to me dude has been kicked by life so hard so many times he's learned to laugh at it all. Lots of respect.
ChrisWise
My best friend has CP; gnarliest cripple jokes I've ever heard hahahahaha
SpecialProjectY
Your best friend has a Control Panel?
Gluseph
Considering? Most people couldn't take a hit that hard in general. This guy is tough as hell.
HtCtiwtchyk
Honestly, whenever I see someone like this I have a huge amount of respect for them for not killing themselves. That's a rough hand dealt.
ThatswhatIwasthinking
That's what I was thinking
Techtronic
If you're going to post a pic for roasting, you need to ba able to laugh at yourself. The sign doesn't say "tell me I'm pretty".
Gluseph
I was reacting to the use of the word "considering". This guy doesn't appear emotionally or mentally crippled at all.
Gluseph
Obviously, but most people don't ever hold up the "roast me" sign for a reason. Everybody knows about it by now.
SJohnson23
Mmmm, roast vegetable.
underunderpants
delish!!!!
summitshow
Calm down Homer.
SFMGifs
Now we just need a spear and a short bus and we can roast veggi kebabs
windragon
just dump agent orange in syria and wait 20 years
CoeusDarksoul
Don't forget to run your spears through the Wash. Don't want them tasting like a leaf... like maybe a leaf you found on the wind, maybe? }=D
Kennator64
A lol, b eff you, too soon.
CoeusDarksoul
I don't feel TOO bad since I first heard this joke spoken by Nathan Fillion - apparently he loves to tell it at Firefly panels at comicon :p
BritneysSpear
I nominate myself.
phoenixfromashes
More often than not, beautiful human beings are made from the harshness of life.
PureTech
"Per aspera ad astra" Through hardships to the stars.
HarryPotterReferenceProbably
Or villans but
Flyndaran
Sympathy is hard to learn, but empathy is instinctive but still requires you to have some similarity of experience to feel for others.
KomodoKill
Damn, if that sentence is yours, you should patent it
phoenixfromashes
It is. Im a writer so it comes to me easily.
KomodoKill
Congratulations
Itworks10
Well, yeah. People are pretty humble, most of the time, when they have nothing.
Drougals
Gay
TheBlueMuppet
Sweet, im gonna go maim everyone.
tornbetweenscyllaandcovfefe
Beauty is derived from experience. That's why OP's mom is so hot.
7ofNein
If that's the case, then I'm goddam Helen of Troy
SPCGlitterFart
I worked in oncology a while, best patients I ever dealt with...and the cranky ones you could understand anyways...cause, y'know, cancer.
TheVaguestDiscomfort
All I'm hearing from this is I'm going to get cancer for being a good person.
Zombraina
Genetics are a bitch. Also, chances are if you live a long life either organ failure or cancer will get you. Definitely goes for pets.
IsDisassembled
Fuck I'm basically expecting it with my family history.
SPCGlitterFart
Meh, cancer is super prevalent nowadays, something close to 1 in 3 will deal with it in one form or another, (not always deadly)...but...
SPCGlitterFart
...there's just something about mortality, it brings clarity to how we behave as humans, (for many, for some it just made them meaner).
Baeron
This is one of the most beautiful sentences I've read in quite some time. Thank you.
Furiou5
Hardships are the sandpaper of life; it is rough, but it makes for a beautiful and refined finish.
haveyouheardabouttheseinternetmemes
On the flipside, many terrible people got that way because they had really shitty things happen to them in life.
shiftingillusion
Too true. But people don't want to think that deep. They just want to label you an asshole and ostracize you...
haveyouheardabouttheseinternetmemes
Yeah, but it's also important to remember that nothing excuses shitty behavior. You are, ultimately, always responsible for your actions.
Flyndaran
Empathy requires sharpening but too much force will snap off the ability to feel for others. Too tortured of a metaphor?
haveyouheardabouttheseinternetmemes
Not at all. I've never heard that before and it's a beautiful way to describe it.
Flyndaran
Thanks.
ImGonnaRickRollYou
I feel like it's more insensitive to pussyfoot around issues. I have high functioning autism. Fire away with any joke. Just don't touch me.
TheAngryBang
High functioning autism?? Thats like being monty from the movie waiting!
ImGonnaRickRollYou
Thought he was a pedophile?
HiddenSanity
I'm not touching you, can't get mad!
Cangay
Don't touch you.... like your uncle did?
michmerr
Come on, it’s just the tip!
lemmonjello
Seems like an oxymoron
usernametakenisthestoryofmylife
Heeeeey, having cerebral palsy does not make him a moron!
McDouggal
Yeah. I've got no problem making jokes about disabilities, just don't make jokes about a specific person's disability.
McDouggal
Unless they cool with it, then w/e
iamacasual
One would say you're... touchy around certain subjects?
RMaybeth
I got nothin' tho
ThePointIsMoo
Haha. This made me laugh.
JustinHudson
But.... you're a squishy titan. You're saying I can't touchy?
ImGonnaRickRollYou
No touchy.
ImGonnaRickRollYou
Pls
SKELETONMAAAN
You're, like, totally autistic. Haha.
ImGonnaRickRollYou
I'm a musician. I call myself the autistic artist or the artistic autist.
Arothin
I feel the same way.
Arothin
Including the autism.
gambronus
but can you tell me on what day solomon grundy was born
ImGonnaRickRollYou
Monday
ItAintGayIfItsAFemininePenis
I'd say you got roasted, but Hitler already did that to people like you so... (plz no flame war)
ImGonnaRickRollYou
Brb gotta go to the PokéMart for a Burn Heal real quick
ImgurCouncilOfLlamas
I guess you're up to date on your vaccines?
SergeantWea
Damn this deserves WAYYY more upvotes
ImGonnaRickRollYou
I got like half of them
Fraggs
That's why you got the half autism.
UnassumingAscotCap
That's fair. I, however, have history with domestic and sexual trauma. I'm cool with contact if I know you, but have trouble with some jokes
ImGonnaRickRollYou
I can get jokes if I'm reading them, but I can't pick up on sarcasm or jokes irl
UnassumingAscotCap
I have similar trouble, it's like I innately assume everyone is being straightforward with me.
Wallaceman105
What did the aspergian say to the neurotypical girl? Nothing, we can't socialize properly!!
iTakeQuotesOutOfContext
Sounds like somebody needs a hug
Capnobi
Well at least you don't have polio
ImGonnaRickRollYou
Silver linings I guess. At least I can actually walk away from people when I don't want to be around them.
SomeRandomArsehole
Hey, can anyone read this comment? All I'm getting is "*AUTISTIC SCREECHING*"
Foxhack
So is... any sort of touch forbidden? (insert emoji with raised eyebrows here 'cause I'm too fucking lazy to look for it)
SKELETONMAAAN
Emojis don't work here anyway.
Foxhack
( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
ImGonnaRickRollYou
I'm okay with minimal contact, like high fives or poking, but I don't like people putting their arm around me or hugging me 1/2
ImGonnaRickRollYou
And strangely enough, I'm okay with sex, at least while it's happening, but I get super uncomfortable and need to be alone afterwards. 2/2
Foxhack
Interesting. I was kinda like you, until I got to college and met some really touchy girls who liked to hug me for some reason. They 1/2
Foxhack
made me more used to being touched, though I still can't stand some people touching me at all. I suppose I was more 'cause of anxiety 2/3
qwertyivxx
*poke*
ImGonnaRickRollYou
*somewhat autistic screeching*
eanfledtheelf
When my son was going through the diagnosis process, I recognized so much of myself in it. I desperately want to "want" to snuggle my kids
eanfledtheelf
and partner. It is frustrating for me; is it for you?
ImGonnaRickRollYou
I have to force it. Best girlfriend I ever had, we would sit on separate couches and play video games. I can sleep whenever I have to 1/2
ImGonnaRickRollYou
Sleep in a bed with a girl. I just want to leave and I sweat.
ImGonnaRickRollYou
Can't*
TakeMeToFrontPageAndBackFiveTimesADay
I have a friend with mild autism. Doesn't affect him that much but sometimes we have to remind him his autism is showing 1/2
TakeMeToFrontPageAndBackFiveTimesADay
"Be careful, your autism is showing" kinda thing and he's fine with it for clarification 2/2
ImGonnaRickRollYou
So am I. A lot of people get mad at my friends when they remind me that I'm shaking my hands in public or pinching myself, then I 1/2
ImGonnaRickRollYou
Feel even worse because I want to confront that person and tell them that I appreciate my friends doing that because it helps. 2/3
ImGonnaRickRollYou
But I am horrible at confronting people so I just say "it's okay"
fuckyouandyourwittyusername
I don't know you and will never meet you, but now I all I wanna do is poke you.
ImGonnaRickRollYou
Poking is fine honestly, I'm used to that. But when someone puts an arm around me or wants to hug, I don't like that. High fives are cool.
KaitlynTheSeaDragon
I would be uncomfortable if a stranger wanted to hug me too.
phiandpiexplaineverything
Hey! High functioning bipolarism here! Hooray for functioning!
LunaLuscus
High-functioning ASD AND type-2 bipolar here. Did you guys fusion-ha or something?
phiandpiexplaineverything
It's definitely a reason i have a good sense of humor?
flamingflamingo
what's all this 'high functioning' crap? i feel like that's just code word for "self diagnosed disorders"
ImGonnaRickRollYou
High functioning as in I can function in society without needing constant care, and I can "fake it". But, as my coworkers have put, 1/2
ImGonnaRickRollYou
When I don't have my work/customer service personality going, I am told there's something very "off" about me.
iloveserotonin
It's not.
LunaLuscus
High-functioning as in able to express as neurotypical, for the most part. Given enough or particular stressors, I can and will regress 1/2
flamingflamingo
I know what it means. I have a friend who's high functioning autistic. But I've been hearing introverts self describe with it for years.
LunaLuscus
back to innate behaviours instead of the learned ones I use in day to day life. And no, I am not self-diagnosed, I was diagnosed as both 2/3
CthulhusGreasyBallsack
I got a joke for you, what did the French waiter say to the autistic man? He said "Can I take your order?"
ImGonnaRickRollYou
Hah
Pikachoochoo
*screeching*
ThirstyForYourPee
@HitlersRightTesticle: Dude, I love your username
CthulhusGreasyBallsack
Thanks
Ant4N
Wrong: French waiters speak in French #smarts
CthulhusGreasyBallsack
not if they're working in English speaking countries.
404GravitassNotFound
or Paris
RealFuckinNito
Yeah, as someone with ADD: I'm the first to make joke. Fuck, I bought a god damn shirt with a pun about it! (They say I have ADHD, they 1/
RealFuckinNito
don't understa-... Oh look. A squirrel!) (I have ADD not ADHD but I have squirrels so it fitted too well XD.) Anyway: as someone with that2/
RealFuckinNito
it hurts far more when they try to "protect" you and tell you "it's not a problem, it's an oportunity" (no you bitch, it's a fucking 3/
RealFuckinNito
problem. I'd know. I didn't get diagnosed until multiple years into my bachelor and it had been fucking me over till then. It's a fucking 4/
RealFuckinNito
issue and now that I know how medication works I know that without it I can't fucking think straight, it's that simple.) Really, just 5/
quicktrickbrickstack
Its all 'ADHD' now, you'd just be 'inattentive type' :)
RealFuckinNito
Oh, cool! Then the shirt's accurate. Thanks for the info, I'm not very up-to-date on classification.
MrRemy
Yeah there are 3 dsm dx types: ADHD predominantly inattentive, ADHD predominantly hyperactive/impulsive, and ADHD combined type.
squip
May be a broad question, but what is it like? That is, how does your condition affect you day to day in general? Honestly curious.
squishofdoom
I have Aspergers, which is high-functioning autism. Everything is black and white, good or bad, yes or no. No inbetween. (1)
squishofdoom
Most people have their one thing that they obsess over; for me, it's video games, and by extension computers. (2)
squishofdoom
I also obsess over one game at a time, playing it to death for days on end, until i beat it or get sick of it. Then i move on to another.(3)
squishofdoom
I dont understand social customs, instinctive things like smiling, or nodding your head, or body language. I had to learn it and fake it.(4)
adcunicorn
Do a post about it, a lot of ppl would probably be interested ^^
fuckyouandyourwittyusername
That's actually a good idea. I have a feeling that (even with myself) there's a ton of misinformation we assume to be true.
crispygrapes
No we wouldn't.
adcunicorn
Didn't know we had a fucking imgur king who speaks for everyone on this site.
ImGonnaRickRollYou
I'm kind of against doing that. I'm not an activist, I'm not passionate or let it define me. Now a post about what music means to me. Yes.
Raithlyn
Are... are you me?
PolkaNeverDies
Music? What kind? My brother's an amazing musician, who happens to be on the spectrum. It's rare to find someone who does both.
ImGonnaRickRollYou
I like pop punk, metalcore, djent, and whatever you would classify Thrice as. I love Thrice. Unhealthy obsession. I have a tattoo.
adcunicorn
Tbh. I am just really curious about all neurological problems since it affects everything, I'd love to see any kind of story,opinion etc.
Raithlyn
At least for me, I have no experience being anything other than me. So I'm not sure what all is different, until someone tells me.
ImGonnaRickRollYou
^ That.
LameclestheLame
Yeah, it's not like our autism senses are tingling :/