youlikeonedollar
103216
6161
230
Asshole vs Douchebag
Jul 12, 2016 11:35 PM
youlikeonedollar
103216
6161
230
SneakyNickCage
TIL; I'm a douchebag and an asshole!
giraffessucktheirowndicks
Not caring what others think about you does not make you an asshole, nor is laughing at your own jokes, you douchehole.
eggimage
Not using turn signals is very much what an asshole does.
Callipygous87
You got the joke one backward.
bluenebula
TIL I'm an asshole
bukalemununici
so, an asshole is a person who just doesnt give a fuck. a douchebag is a person who is selfish and egoist.
assholecasserole
I'm somewhat relevant!
reclusivepope4
If you are lifting heavy and using correct breathing techniques, you're probably gonna grunt in the gym. Fitness isn't douche-y guys.
Andreanne
There's noise and noise. Heavy breathing and grunting yea but roaring is a douchenozzle move.
whatsupdoccy
TL;DR - Asshole doesn't care what you think of him, douchebags thinks you think he is awesome. Really the one point that summed it all up.
Ryebread91
To be fair, when ordering food order it how you want it. Its your food and your money.
Cere4l
not just that, but onions give me explosive diarhea. i consider that a good reason to not want them
Imgoingbacktobednow
Hm. Seems like my ex was both...where was this chart earlier in my life, damnit!
thebadcarcrash
So, 'irresponsible vs arrogant'?
Dominian
More like ignorance vs. obliviousness.
butwholethief
Douchehole or assbag
ShowMeYourButtonhole
I scrolled down just to find this comment.
321FuckMe
this made me angry
aligeez
Hey! I order a venti triple hazelnut latte ☹️
dadstop
I don't know why people are called douchebags for that stuff WHEN IT'S ON THE MENU. If they offer it, go ahead and order some?
Dominian
Maybe they just cater do douchebags. I mean, I'm not buying a lot of stuff that's out there for me to buy, because it's shit.
soopersic
But dicks also fuck assholes....
Freakshow198
To me, they're all cunts. But I'm Australian and even my best mate is a cunt. But one of the good ones.
achillesdeniz
Oh no, sweat!? AT THE GYM!?!?
Floppywok
I can understand if you leave the bench wetter than OP's mom at the sight of anything phallic shaped, but people who get mad at some cheek
Floppywok
lines clearly have never properly worked out before
WhyIsThisStillEvenAQuestion
Won't somebody think of the children?!?! Although to be fair, wiping your bench down is like courtesy 101 in a gym..
twozerooz
Everyone knows to wipe down the equipment when you're done.
DoctorIdentity
These distinctions are about as arbitrary as the ones on those bullshit "psychopath vs. sociopath" posts.
TheLighthouseSavage
Asshole points: 2 Douchebag points: 1 Number of points my friends have: More than I care to tally up.
TheodoreWitchfucker
I wonder how much points your friends would give you.
bejcek
That makes you the douchebag
TheDanWithNoName
Douchebags are essentially a subclass of intentionally annoying assholes.
KindaThrowaway
Assholes don't care what you think of them? I thought we called those people individuals?
cptkipard
No. Basically it's the difference between a sociopath and someone with narcissistic pd.
1dogsfordays1
I think that makes one come off as a selfish person though. I hint of asshole isn't bad. We need to be selfish for survival in some cases
1dogsfordays1
I think that makes one come off as a selfish person though. I hint of asshole isn't bad. We need to be selfish for survival in some cases
Dominian
Individual is the opposite of collective and is entirely different from "ignorance" and "obliviousness", which are asshole and d-bag here.
GifAnon
To tell the truth, I'd prefer being an asshole than a douchebag.
meowrissa24
I feel like a few of these should be reversed since the douchebag is clearly more showy than the asshole.
WhereDidJonGo
Agreed.
draino9
Yeah like the turn signal one
NoughtPointOneFour
Especially the Turn signal one!
CMcAwesomeville
Read the first line, just going to write that I think the tipping system is fucked up in the US. Does this make me a douche or an asshole?:)
TheGayPenguin
Neither, as long as you acknowledge that it's fucked up and still tip because those servers need it to live.
CMcAwesomeville
It's not the server's fault. Just raise their wages. And if necessary, raise the prices on the menu.
ElJefeLives
You should still tip anyways because their wages haven't been raised yet.
ellert0
Screw that, I'm not going to be part of the problem. If you want to get rid of tipping you don't tip.
stealthgunner385
Found the asshole.
ellert0
At least I don't live my life like a panhandler. Nobody is forced to work as a server, if they want to beg they can do it in the streets.
DoritoDust
No but they work as servers FOR THE TIPS. If we only made minimum wage we wouldn't do it because 9/10 people who eat out are cunts
leodavinci1
I'd call that enabling the problem to continue.
robrudewastaken
I know a douche hole.
heghmoh
Or Ass douche? Enima?
ImOnlyHereForTheNudity
He laughs at his own jokes, and never laughs at yours... ?
iamatiger
I am a douche hole.
Kosmonavt
Apparently I am a douche hole. ^^
bascus
there are other words that work better for that
tabIeandchairs
A vagina?
SaltWaterHuderite
I AM a douche hole
CooCooCaChew
*Ass bag
Daubi
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=A23queljQ7Y
pyronoia
Does he let everyone know how much he could have tipped but didn't?
hameis
Thank you I was trying to think of a mixture of them
Rkhbusa
Tell that to my double parked hummer.
CaptainGrowler
What about dicks?
delafonte89
There's definitely a prick involved
Puzzlemancer
Most of the asshole stuff, but in the name of comedy.
wowwhatagreataudience
They fuck everyone.
CaptainGrowler
Great movie
wowwhatagreataudience
Haha yes!
confinedinyourmind
I'm looking at one
CaptainGrowler
Mirror?
Slapalapafloppytownpants
Dicks fuck assholes and pussies,and assholes just shit all over everything
GershKuntzman
Pussies may get mad at dicks sometimes, because pussies get fucked by dicks.
CaptainGrowler
So do assholes
GershKuntzman
But dicks also fuck assholes, Chuck.
QuixoticGoingDjinn
And if they didn't fuck the assholes you know what you'd get? You'd get your dicks and your pussies all covered in SHIT!
GershKuntzman
Fantastic scene. Accurate, and just as vulgar as you'd expect from Trey Parker and Matt Stone. Still ranks among my top 5 favorite scenes.
YourLocalSnitch
Why should I leave a tip for something the bosses should be taking care of?
twozerooz
Its dumb but social norms make it mandatory. Your social life suffers immeasurably if you dont tip.
stespike
Because even if they should they don't and it's not your waiter's fault
YourLocalSnitch
Well it's not my fault either, why should I give away my earned money? Why don't they work in a job that pays them them their money?
stespike
In Canada they have to pay taxes on their tips income so if u don't tip, it's costing them money to serve you
FeralChicken
Low wage money even though they know they'll be serving assholes all the time.
DoritoDust
If you don't want to give away your hard earned money why are you eating out? Eat at home. 1/2
DoritoDust
It's cheaper and we don't want to serve you anyway cause tbh you sound like someone in the douche column
SixFootofFarts
I feel ya. I tip only if I get particularly good service. Not because I'm expected to because of another persons shortcomings
FeralChicken
Maybe they can't get a better job until they have more experience or a degree. Plus waiters are awesome enough to pick that job and earn