GiFucked
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Part 2 is here - https://imgur.com/a/hD6tK
Blue for stupid
Yellow for funny and/or dumb
Green for just good
I effed up the spacing on some of these, if ya want a part two they’ll be fixed.
Um ok wow, I get it, they're very unbelievable. I didn't write these, just chose the most interesting ones regardless of legitimacy.
spartoi77
Can’t help but think of when Michael tried giving Stanley cpr for #3
CarInAVet
Or if you want it in a format that's somewhat legible, you can just go to www.notalwaysright.com
cptPoopypants
Worked in a pizza shop. Someone called trying to complain that their pizza was burnt. We only made take n bake pizzas
heckingbork
This is the kind of shit my aunt sends me in the mail. She prints them from her chain emails and mails them. Horrible.
Ety43
All stories credit to notalwaysright.com
spaceasaurus
Enjoyed these, even if a couple were far fetched. +1
AnOldLockedUpTrapper
#9 A Bit Misteak made me laugh out loud imagining the horror on the couple's faces.
AlyeskaHeaven
As someone who has worked food service and retail I can confirm people are in fact this stupid.
BlainetheMono
Stopped reading at the teenage EMT girl.. So much bullshit.
KrautMick
“I’ll take...’Things that Never Happened’, Alex.”
badmusicpuns
RussianNinja007
#6 as a colour blind person, yeah, I get that a lot. Nothing is worse than colour based instructions with blue and purple
JohnMagneTrane
I once stared intently at the small glass diamonds for points in a game we played. Then exclaimed: "Hey, there are 4 colours of them, not 1/
JohnMagneTrane
just 3!". The others looked at me and told me there were 6 colours... Small wonder I kept losing :D 2/2
CorneliusBreadington
Then the whole bus clapped.
Corrodias
Right? It's very nearly as ridiculous as the idea of the world being round.
Nuntius
#9 is freaking fantastic.
WirenutsInYourButts
#14 was amazing. “I hate my life anyway.”
niauropsaka
That behaviour was getting pretty close to suicide.
ImNotCreativeEnoughForAGoodUsername
Can't tell if that title is purposefully clever or a typo
GiFucked
Intentional :)
myUsernameWasAlreadyTakenAndIHaveAcceptedMyFate
Of course you would say that
GiFucked
B and p are nowhere near each other on the keyboard :)
tropicalsunfish
I love Not Always Right, do more of these lol great selection
RelaxYourself
Yeah i'd go to my shitty barista job the day after my dad died....
AverySillyName
Dying is expensive
AppleFoster
My fiancee had to go to his job the day after his mom died. You don't always have a choice if you have to pay bills.
TopCommenter
Sometimes, you have no options. Bills still have to be paid. Inhumane, but true.
ruzid
I read it on the internet so it must be true
ohHiMark2000
And then the whole fucking room clapped, didn’t they
LychFinderGeneral
iliketoanswerwithreactions
krizzle2663
Number four really hits home for me. One time I was at a dollar store checking out and a man in the aisle behind me had a heart attack or1/?
krizzle2663
something -not sure what it was - but he fell down and was bleeding out of his head and mostly non-responsive. So I went over to try and 2/?
krizzle2663
help him and also called 911 but I didn't know the address. So I yelled at the girl behind the counter "what's the address here?" and she3/?
krizzle2663
shrugged and said "I don't know." So I said "well go f****** find it." I was crying my eyes out by the time EMTs left with the guy. Then4/?
krizzle2663
as I finished checking out the girl behind the counter said to me, "there's a link at the bottom of your receipt for a survey to fill out5/?
krizzle2663
about your experience today." Someone in line behind me said, "oh no she did not." I was too upset to do or say anything but leave. 6/6
CeruleanK
"THINGS DON'T HAPPEN IN REAL LIFE. THERE AREN'T ANY WEIRD OR STUPID PEOPLE. I AM ALSO SKEPTICAL OF THIS 'OUTSIDE' CONCEPT."
Sureletsgowiththat
On one hand, skepticism is a good thing online; it's likely some of this DIDN'T really happen. On the other;
eldieron24
While the truthfulness of these is questionable, they're funny. I want more.
FightingRevengeOfYourMom
#3. Ummmmm. yeaaaahhhhhh. Never happened.
AWESOMEBOT
TBF we moms are generally sleep deprived and that sometimes affects us in very embarrassing dumb ways.
AWESOMEBOT
As an example I've put remotes in the freezer, put toys in the pantry and most recently lost half an onion. Idk where it went .
Donnanobleslonglostdoppleganger
hah! Hang in there, mama, it gets better. I remember finding a jar of honey in the mailbox once. No earthly clue why I put it there.
NekoMiko06
If they're older than 4 and it keeps happening, see a doctor to make sure it isn't dementia... assuming your kids aren't just being assholes
AWESOMEBOT
He's 9 months and teething. The nights are rough AF. Plus He's been waking up at 1 am to poop and won't fall back asleep till 3 or 4 am.
LeagueOfExtraordinaryOwlbearnians
I am halfway through my third trimester - I do some dumb shit
AWESOMEBOT
I feels ya
dijital101
You should probably have established a sleep schedule by the time they're 3.
AWESOMEBOT
I'm sorry my infant and I can't hear you from your high horse.
dijital101
3yo isn't an infant. Get offended all you want but that kind of suffering is self-inflicted.
AWESOMEBOT
My baby is 9 months old and teething. I'm not offended. You're just a presumptuous cunt.
dijital101
Apparently your sleep deprivation has affected your reading comprehension. I said a 3 YEAR OLD should have a set schedule.
thurmin
This was a fun and enjoyable read
themonkeyboy04
Try notalwaysright.com
Snotty128
Then everyone clapped
GeneralWho
HistoryHayden
Amen
bladewing2016
#1. How many times have you lost your glasses that were on your head. Kind of similar :)
Ryanator50
imagine if she sits down...
Naitasm
MRS RICHARDS, YOUR GLASSES ARE THERE.
Cheeseweenie
I feel bad she's listed, because I know sometimes I'm tired and I honestly think I'd do the same thing.. lol
INameMyPetsAfterRedvsBlueCharacters
When I was about 10 yrs old, my mom "lost" me in Disneyworld . She started shouting my name and panicking. She was holding my hand.
samsonguy920
Amusement parks can be very overwhelming.
BreadyStinellis
I once spent 15 minutes searching for my glasses. It wasn't until I looked across the room and accurately assessed that they weren't on the
BreadyStinellis
Coffee table, that I realized they were on my fucking face right where they belonged! To be fair, I was very high.
TheodoreBuckland
#3: ... and everyone started clapping. The name of that teenage girl? Albert Einstein.
blainetog
Actually, I think her name was General Holdo.
Rexli78
I don't know I've heard of stranger things. For example Juan Pujol García in WWII became a double agent against the Germans. From 1940-1942
Rexli78
he convinced the Germans he had created a massive spy network in Britain with out ever setting foot in Britain. He used travel guides and
Rexli78
news reals. It wasn't until he joined up with MI5 in '42 that he finally went to Britain, and it wasn't until after the war ended that the
Rexli78
Germans discovered the truth.
zippydee
I cringed too hard at that one and couldn't read past it, skipped to the comments and hoped someone else noticed how blatantly fake it is
WubbaLubbaDubbDub
And then everyone clapped
AllIHaveAreBananas
The others were better
BloodbathBidoof
Still cringed pretty hard, didn't make it through the whole dump. It's all made up by somebody who doesn't know how things work in real life
Sonicdahedgie
Same. Killed any desire I had to read the rest.
EliMFrost
If I freeze my water can I bring it aboard?
b1ohazard777
Came here to ask that.
BagOfHangers
You are allowed to bring frozen liquid over 3.4oz. It has to be completely frozen though. If it melts and turns to slush, then it can't go.
PerfectPressurex5
Yes.
youremyboyblue123
I just asked my friend who works at the airport and he also said yes because “in that state it’s considered a solid”. So stupid. Sooo stupid
weallunderstoodthatreference
Tbh tho that's kinda how shit works
neohippie7319
Yup! I've had them let me through, no questions at MCO. At LAX, they looked inside before they let it through.
EwGrooss
Airport security is a joke
halcat
I wasn't allowed through with it. But then, that guy tried to tell me the completely solid ice was a liquid. I felt super safe.
meauho
yes, but if any is thawed it better be at the top so you can pour it out.
comeflywithme
I had a TSA agent involve her supervisors about a jar of salsa. The super took the jar tipped it back and forth. “No. This salsa is too wet”
comeflywithme
I asked if I could open the jar and squeeze out the juice so i could have a real snack to start my 5hr layover. “No” so I threw it
comeflywithme
in the trash can right beside them to sit there until it’s emptied and everyone was so much safer for it. The nachos just weren’t the same.
saikaici
Or you can just take an empty water bottle and fill it at a water fountain once you're past security!
Jburli24
Some airports don't have water fountains, presumably so they can charge you €3.50 for a bottle from the vending machine. Stupid airports..
tourettesguy54
That's assuming the city that you're in's water is safe to drink.
idsej
Not many people fly to Flint.
Legpoker
"not always true probably" wins the tag.
DrinkingBaby
More like never true probably
Kenkenny82
I would say the same but I work in retails. Some are more than probably fake though.
annasknon42q
Some of them were just hard to read.
rhinocerass
As soon as I read that a teenage girl said "No chance, mister." I knew this was full of shit.
heyheyheylisten
*high-fives teenage girl*
ShelleyBaldwin271
So what you’re saying is a girl can’t be an EMT
SkyrimForTheDragons
Flyndaran
Maybe she wasn't actually a teen, but just looked young. Not that I think the story's true, of course.
MarcelRED147
I think the fact that she spoke like a child from a 50s sitcom is the evidence that it isn't real, or at the least embellished.
ProbableLoss
I almost downvoted you but I see now you’re just memeing. Well fucking memed sir/lady/Apache attack helicopter with quad hellfire pods
IOnlyFavoriteDickButtAndImNotEvenMad
woooopancakes
I’ll have you know I’m a proud apache attack helicopter with DUAL missile pods
Solivoid
The artificial standards for apache attack helicopters is absurd in this time and day.
ctotheg2
I stopped after "the man was banned and arrested for grabbing the girl". They all clapped, his name Einstein etc.
ArdentSlacker
Go back and read the two at the end. Those two are sweet and fairly probable.
Frazzledragon
I think even the ones that were true at one point are doctored by the site's mods to be more "wholesome" and "family friendly"
steviedrawsdinos
I rolled my eyes so hard I still can't find them. How am I typing this? Who knows? Very dumb bad stories..
annasknon42q
I find this more believable than these stories.
Corrodias
At this point I'm going to be upvoting stories like these just to spite you "clappers".
frootoftheloops
As they went on they seemed more realistic. Either way, I view them as jokes, don't need to be real to be funny.
chucknasty
That’s where I stopped!
HappyJello
Cop comes from around the corner to cuff the man, freeze frame as the EMTs do a jumping high-five
[deleted]
[deleted]
hotdudecurator
Yeah, that seizure one was so bad I had to stop right there. I couldn't read any more.
iAintNoSynthDammit
Its like one of those day dreams in the shower where you shut down some dumb asshole and save the day
Ihavesex
That’s exactly it! People just write down what they should have done but what actually happened was they shut up, and left
CanadianFurr
And I thought I was the only one that did that...
RiftSkipper
It has the feeling of a real story that got way over exaggerated. Seems most likely a off duty EMT assisted with a seizure off duty 1/2
RiftSkipper
Most likely some one asked if CPR was needed and they said no, and that's where it ended. It's really easy to tell when someone is 2/3
RiftSkipper
Competent and usually people tend to just listen to them (source, EMT training, law enforcement and military CLS)
MeridaIsMySpiritAnimal
I agree that it's probably a real story exaggerated, but I doubt it's as exaggerated as you're saying. I'm a very young looking female &...
MeridaIsMySpiritAnimal
I've had adults rudely & blatantly assume I don't know what I'm talking about when I'm talking about something very related to my job cus..
MeridaIsMySpiritAnimal
I'm just a "dumb girl." I used to be a teacher & now I'm a counselor. When I talk about behavior management in kids, I actually might know
MechaNinja
I like reading them and trying to decide if the original author is clever or an idiot.
TheFrenchCanadianTaunter
What is it with those "Navy SEAL converts atheist college professor" stories? They have a common thread and traits that I can't identify.
GiFucked
Yeah, some are a bit far fetched, I try keep those to a minimum
MrBig
A bit? Not one is believable
ChaosandChaos
The one person and wine one. I could see that happening. But ehh
ComradeTrotsky
20 and 21 are very possible.
MrBig
All have the definition of being "possible" but not one is probable.
vg8ts
They were fun. To everyone who doesn't believe them, wah wah, f'ing wah. Have some fun in life would ya?
TheMaker51
Did you know that there are more ways to have fun, other than reading unbelievable bullshit on the internet?
vg8ts
Whaaaaat???
MeridaIsMySpiritAnimal
Then hit next and don't read the fucking post. Some of us found reading them enjoyable. Fun is subjective.
AlwaysandEventuallyHannah
I have lots of fun! Part of my fun is reading stories that are believable. It's either blatantly false or awfully written, neither are fun
MeridaIsMySpiritAnimal
Then hit next and don't read the fucking post. Some of us found reading them enjoyable. Fun is subjective.
AlwaysandEventuallyHannah
Wow, ok. Maybe you should try having some fun. Also how am I supposed to know if I'll like it before I read it?
FlyingSeaMan509
Lol I stopped at the exact same spot.
waitwasthatreal
Same with the eye doctor. The directions are so nondescript, there is no way that’s the explanation they give anyone.
Ihavesex
Purple doors?!!!
Ryanator50
yeah, and such a variety in colors
GerberLegalTeam
Right? Do they have an office in an amusement park for some reason?
Ryanator50
green signs, red building, purple and blue doors... yeah sounds like an amusement park
DelusionsOfMediocrity
About a 8 months ago, I had pretty serious bleeding in my eyes and went pretty much blind (its mostly been fixed with surgery now). (1/2)
DelusionsOfMediocrity
(2/2)While I was in the hospital, I was told, follow the yellow dots on the floor to emergency. I couldn't see my hand in front of my face.
waitwasthatreal
That’s a little different though, they were asking you to follow a line, which you couldn’t still, but it’s not the same as saying go >>
waitwasthatreal
Find a red building, and she doesn’t even say to go into it, she just says there will be two sets of doors, I assume outside?
zoezoebelle
I was admitted to the ER for a suicide attempt and their go-to room for this contained cabinets full of scalpels labeled "scalpels".
ryanjoseph666
I hope you're feeling better now. If you need to talk ill listen
NickRivieraMD
and how bout the receptionist's last comment? nobody would say that.
erincpotterart
Scrolled down just to see if anyone else stopped there !
JAYK42
Same lol. Any person who's trained in any sort of emergency medical response would likely lead with "it's okay I'm a fucking EMT"
steviedrawsdinos
And also not be a teenager
VirginAmericaInFlightSeatToSeatChatSystem
Kids in my school get first aid certified at about 14 and can redo it every year.
Gallivandy
Actually, when I was a teenager I had a few friends who were training for EMT and did actual ambulance shifts after school...
steviedrawsdinos
Oh, word? That's cool. We didn't have that when I was in school.. :/
Noxcado
The teenager part could have just been the storyteller mistaking her for a teenager.
steviedrawsdinos
That's just bad storytelling..
FirefighterCaboose
I mean, there's also a distinct 2 year period where one is both "in their teens" and an adult.
IZ42
There's a huge emt prep program at my high school
steviedrawsdinos
That's legit cool
TotallyNotADogInTrenchCoat
Yeah considering they don't let people under the age of 21(at least where I am) volunteer or take classes for that kind of thing, let alone
meauho
I lived in a rural town in Montana. The EMT's & Fire Departments were both Volunteer & mostly High Schoolers.
Shohanna
I looked 15 all the way til 25!! Talk about being carded.. O.o Speak for yourself.
TotallyNotADogInTrenchCoat
We get it. You have an ego. You can stop making about yourself Now.
Shohanna
You can stop being an ignorant twat.
TotallyNotADogInTrenchCoat
You're the one bragging and causing problems.
BeesInYourBonnet
My high school had a program where you could train and work as an EMT your senior year.
TotallyNotADogInTrenchCoat
I didn't know high school offered those programs. Not all of them do, which they should. That's awesome though.
BeesInYourBonnet
There were a ton of different programs for just about any career path. It was amazing. I was able to intern at a preschool.
MeridaIsMySpiritAnimal
In some places they do. My highschool had a training program & people who went through it & then continued on could be EMTs at 18/19
TotallyNotADogInTrenchCoat
I didn't know that. Where I'm at its mostly volunteer work, but is you stay they put you through the classes for free, they'll even help you
TotallyNotADogInTrenchCoat
Get your licenses for it
Happypillsforeveryone
Some ppl also just look super young for their age!
TotallyNotADogInTrenchCoat
That is true as well. If it weren't for my beard, is look like a 15yr old fat kid..
randomfan276
Yeah. I was regularly mistaken for a teenager through my mid-20s, by which time I was working as a doctor. It's not that far-fetched.
TotallyNotADogInTrenchCoat
Although it did state "teenage girl"
anonisacunt
Worked with an 18 year old who went on rides with the local fire department. Was training to be an EMT. Not every department is the same.
TotallyNotADogInTrenchCoat
That's basically what I am saying, and also now learning about with the high school programs
Justiceforbradswife
Where I life there's one girl who went through all the training and is an EMT at 19... But that was a huge load of work and basically lucky
TotallyNotADogInTrenchCoat
It is, though you guys out taught me a thing or two. I didn't know some high schools offer those programs, mine didn't. They mostly focused
TotallyNotADogInTrenchCoat
On engineering or architecture, I wish that would have been a thing when I was in school. It would have made my wanting to be an emt much
TotallyNotADogInTrenchCoat
Easier.
TotallyNotADogInTrenchCoat
Employ them. I mean even if it was true, its most likely the girl had experience because of a family member.
keleksbreath
My little sister is a 17 year old senior currently taking an EMT class in high school so she can work as one immediately when she graduates.
TotallyNotADogInTrenchCoat
See I didn't know that some offers those programs. Maybe then it wouldn't have come down to me stopping certain things to get me to want to
TotallyNotADogInTrenchCoat
Be an emt
TotallyNotADogInTrenchCoat
Both of those things i know because of a family member that suffered from seizures. And I volunteered and still plan on be coming an emt
Hawkner
Closest thing that girl could possibly be imo is a lifeguard with seizure training emphasized
MeridaIsMySpiritAnimal
\My highschool had a training program & people who went through it & then continued on could be EMTs at 18/19 years old
Shohanna
Fuck you, you don't know her life. Even if it's just a damned "story". I have more experience in saving people then some EMTs I have met
Shohanna
Yeah, I learned all about first aid and cpr, seizures, and saving people from drowning, Heimlich maneuver before I hit 16! I have saved 10+
Shohanna
people, before I turned 18. The blood turned me off of most of it, so I didn't go into medical field. But I still know how to keep my head
TotallyNotADogInTrenchCoat
Now it just sounds like you're bragging, which saving people shouldn't be an act of hubris. Nor should it be awarded. Its something we all