Can I interest you in some Jar-Jar tongue on this May the 4th?

It's gross. Who the fuck thought it was a good idea? More importantly, what maniac would actually willingly buy it?

...I had one. Let me explain.

My grandmother was a lady of eclectic interest, and loved all things strange.

This is certainly something strange.

So she bought it for me, as a "this is so funny and strange, and you're funny and strange."

And I did indeed consume it. I was ill at the time and just wanted something sugary to... ease my sore throat.

Jar-Jar's tongue was the remedy.

That is my dark secret.

I ate Jar-Jar's tongue. Mouth to mouth with Binks.

I am dead inside.

No cat tax. Nothing can save this.

May the 4th be with you because God has certainly abandoned us all.