DenahomChikn
158199
2727
76
Aug 27, 2018 10:39 AM
DenahomChikn
158199
2727
76
unappropriatedPITYlaughs
Last one, keep the car until kid can drive, pass it to them and forbid them from fixing the hood.
AzgarOgly
I think that should have been addressed to grandparents. As all the kid situations shown are result of lousy parenting.
wtfamIdoinghere000
The look of confusion and betrayal by that dog has me in tears of laughter!
Tossen
Some parents should probably be watching these kids?
warderbob
Why does it seem these days that kids have no boundaries? If I did any of that shit at any age my Dad would have had my ass!
Cantgetaxeout
Approved
itsPixie
It's like when my daughter gets mad that her brothers touching her stuff. If you left it where he can get it that's on you.
madknitterlady
Working in a public library is very effective too especially if keeping the children's section clean is in your job description.
TogepiOmelette
had a toddler pull out the ER and BR books. I was livid because I was a page
HeyOhBotchedToe
For serious, if my kid keyed that he loves me into my hood, I'd get a big kick out of it. A bigger kick when it's his first car.
dobbythehouseelf
I once drew on my mom's car with a rock. I thought it was like chalk and would just wipe off. It didn't.
vulturedoors
Even at that age I knew not to play with paint or other such substances. Bad parenting.
BungusAmungus
Its a Dodge Caravan. That's an improvement.
sweetlittlebee
As a person that owned a couple of them, yes.
ManCalledHorseWithNoName
As a person who owns a D. Caravan I concur.
dohcohv
Same
CuttleFishOfCthulu
Shit, if anything Durex GOT them there. Latex gloves probably break less.
ILIKEWHALES
Indeed, Durex is shit quality lately. It used to be good here.
Comet260
Trogan? Krogan?
Rogahar
The soap suds one is just hilarious, and personally I'd photograph that scratchwork, get it buffed out then have it painted on permanently.
themuttonisniceandlean
Water damage can be extremely expensive. But it's still funny. I have a pic of my son unrolling a roll of TP hanging in the bathroom.
Rogahar
But the rest... yeah no.
tonyriverside
Durex are 100% guaranteed to fail if you are having sex for more than half an hour. Source- I have two kids
TrippingPocahontas
i am a copywriter. at first i thought the ad was "will keep you from cumming everywhere" but then I got it.
WhichIsIt
Your ads must be “interesting”
thinkinthatheneedsit
I got a vasectomy after our third kid was concieved.... sometimes wish I would have got one the day after I turned 18...
benpoon
I have two teens. I know what you mean.
thatbloominpiper
Best $500 bucks I ever spent. Better than $500,000
Giantisim
dieselpunk
Kid's practicing for COD
Comet260
That man is dead inside.
HenryLongfellowIII
Nothing like being beaten with a poopy diaper.
pre1989
Try working at a public pool .best birth control ever I never ever want kids lol
Comet260
I'll never swim in another public pool again after the stories I've read.
pre1989
Yep.And double that for a hot tub ..Shudders
BobDresden
As a parent, some of these are more hilarious than anything (did she climb into the bucket of paint???). And none are the end of the world.
bhikku
I am so happy my wife doesn't want children.
WhyIsCorgiBeast
I cannot express how much I do not want kids. As a woman I get questions about that all the time. Those pics are the perfect response.
justruss52
That's what happens when you take a 5 min. nap.
WhyIsCorgiBeast
Oh man. Props to all the parents who can handle it
navagon
There was an actual condom ad like this that showed a kid throwing a shit fit in a supermarket. It got banned.
LoveHavingRidiculouslyLongNames
I couldn't even watch the whole thing. Once he started doing that high pitched squeal, my brain started to melt and my ovaries shriveled up.
navagon
If it wasn't for the brain-melting bit I might suggest sticking it out until the end. Certainly would avoid any future problems.
SwaghettiYologneseWithMemeballs
Is it bad that I'd want to give him something to scream about
navagon
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YgzHyWPISTk sorry about the potato quality.
DenahomChikn
Fuck that's so good +1
WaterYourPlants
https://youtu.be/IxgnEeAM0es perhaps a little better potato quality
TonyMontanasBalls
I could manage most of these BUT the TV one, now that that one - would lead to all hell breaking loose
odim89
Dammit Donny, youre out of your element.
easytigger
Really? I can't think of anyone I know who actually owns a tv. All laptops/tablets/phones.
ArchangelTitus
I can pretty much guess your age group by the fact of no tv or monitors are involved there lol
Milkea
you clearly don't know enough people then
easytigger
Or I live in a country with a mandatory licence fee and most people just don't want an additional expense when the internet exists.
IIKvothe
How is it even possible that you don't know anyone who owns a tv? EVERYONE owns at least one small one
easytigger
To be fair, I live in Ireland, and owning any tv means paying a licence fee, which is basically a pointless expense at this point.
ThatsAmazingImNotEvenMad
Is there a different license fee for owning a car with a radio than owning a TV? Or are cars not very commonly owned where you live, either?
easytigger
A tv licence basically sends money to RTE so they can keep the lights on and buy American tv shows. Totally different to a driving licence.
GerberLegalTeam
That sounds dystopian. I could see some kind of fee for actually getting a broadcast. But for just owning a piece of hardware? Fuck that.
WizardsCantGetPregnantBecauseTheyreNeverLate
It is for getting the broadcast, you can own a TV without having to pay the license if you can prove you aren't using it to watch public TV.
IIKvothe
Yoooooo I had no idea that happened in Ireland, that's bullshit
Nicodemusthefirst
Happens in Scotland and England as well.
easytigger
They want to bring in a "broadcast licence" that covers EVERYTHING with a screen, which is even worse.
ThatsAmazingImNotEvenMad
Good excuse to upgrade the TV to 4K HDR! The prices are getting really good now, too!
TonyMontanasBalls
The sad thing is I have a 4K hdr tv but my kid is 4 weeks old. I guess by time he is old enough to wreck it - I can upgrade to an 8k TV haha
Nuclearun
I was gonna say the car. but we all have our personal pet peeves.
CaptainHanderpants
taylorsassymylee1
Life goes on in prison....
zombiebatman
The dude abides
MattDude
But fuck the Eagles, Man
LostAmiga
cloudmarusan
All day on this one
NotADodgeBallCannon
Woke up at 2 am to this once. Son pulled his diaper off and painted the walls and his crib. Took about an hour to clean
Treybetrey
He's pooped
markiel
Ah yes the poop pygmy
Himura82
That looks like a crime scene..
Feraltrout
No
BramStocker
damn... i just couldnt
Traviscoletravels
His palette was too limiting.
LostAmiga
He is the Pierre Soulages of poo.
astoldbyanurse
Full grown adults do this too in the hospital. #PoopPainting
sweetlittlebee
Nursing home residents and home clients as well. I've had to clean up both.
madmatt2024
Not just at the hospital. My dad worked at a small grocery store and he told me they let this mentally handicapped guy use the bathroom 1/2
madmatt2024
once (we don't have a public one) and he smeared poop all over the place. After that no customers were allowed to use the bathroom.
Totallycasual
It was a shit show, obviously.
ImperialAceX
Everything here gets an upvote.
TyGoneSexual
Knowledge is power
FeelsGouda
Iunderstoodthatreference.jpg
SpaghettiWalls
The forums!
Totallycasual
Fucking Ion... he's the devil lol
SpaghettiWalls
According to the forums
bbnestea
I’m not ready to be a parent. My first thought was “I’d throw everything out..everything”
ermushko
On second year you'll realise that all this situations aren't important at all. You can be a happy parent wearing a t-shirt with poo spots.
SnappleCactus
Some people can. Id rather die but yknow
ermushko
I felt exactly the same, but there is only one way - try it out! Seriously, there is life with and after kids
ZleckV2
I am a parent and my first thought was "Burn the room"
GitRightStik
Baby wipes. Always have a few packs around.
TheBestRussian
Oh I do. I bought a lot of cheap clothes second hand and when they get covered in poop, that shirt is gone. Made my life so much easier.
blackstoned
My wife thought I was crazy but quality of life has improved since we started throwing away shit covered clothes
TheBestRussian
Yeah my husband told me to and I was like are you insane?? But I agree. It’s so much easier.
MrBoogerPig
Kid included
dm6776
That was the joke.
SirsMadeline
I'm 44 and do not regret for one minute never having kids.
BakaWakka
I am 30 and I pre-regret ever having kids.
thebluestthingsonearth
AlysonWonderland7
My daughter keeps saying she’s never having kids because they’re annoying. She’s 12, and I have a 6y/o son. She’s not wrong, lol.
boatymcboatfaceplant
We also don't regret you never having kids... I'll see myself out ?
TheFrenchGirl
I'm 44 too, mother of 3, and do not regret one minute never having kids of other people, they all terrible. Mine are perfect thought ;-)
TheFrenchGirl
(I lied, mine can be pain in the ass too "like their mother" I was told)
[deleted]
[deleted]
Assfullofbread
Nothing to do with bad parenting, takes seconds for kids to get in trouble and you don’t want to be a helicopter parent either
SirsMadeline
I'm not a parent at all, that's the point.
Lambdafish1
I can't read :(
SirsMadeline
It's ok. It happens to the best of us. :)
twerksforfish
im 45 and my only kid is 22. boyfriend asked it i wanted another. FUCK NO, NOPE, NA, NUHU, NOT HAPPENING. lucky for him he was joking.
twerksforfish
and yes he was joking. he had a vasectomy many years ago and does not want kids. Already has 1
CrazyCatLad
I'm 27 and am dating a 42 year old! She has a 8 year old son. We're both on the fence about wanting a kid (We know health risks)
twerksforfish
right now your son is 8. old enough to go places. cant really take kids places and enjoy it till their about 4.
CrazyCatLad
Not my son but yeah, I'm trying to plan a trip to the Renaissance Faire next month.
Mewmus
37 y/o here, got my vasectomy about 10 years ago, no regrets. (and no kids)
Comet260
(raises glass)
Mewmus
*enjoys all the benefits of life w/the wife and not having to drag around any spawn :)
Comet260
YES! This is my life goal right here! I SO want someone to cuddle with at night with no meat sirens running into our bedroom.
Mewmus
you don't want kids now or just not right now?
Gomizzi
Jw, did your insurance pay/how bad did it hurt
SirsMadeline
You can get them at Planned Parenthood. They usually have a deal on them in March so you can time it with March Madness. :)
ohmplenty
If you're worried about the pain, go for one of those no-needle minimal-cut places like https://www.drsnip.com/all-about-vasectomy/#noneedle
Mewmus
i'm USAF so my Tricare paid for it, as far as the pain....the worst part was the local anesthesia, 3 shots right in the sack. 1/?
Mewmus
stung like a motherfucker, i didn't really feel anything else after it all kicked in, felt them going in and moving stuff around but 2/?
Mewmus
no real pain, until they started cauterizing the ends, it wasnt a heated cauterizer but an electric one, i could see little puffs of 3/?
Reebo808
When I was a kid, I thought rocks were chalk and used one to draw all over the family van. Tried to blame it on my sis but I signed my name.
BungusAmungus
When I was a kid my older brother spray painted our room. He tried to blame it on us by signing our names.
whatmustido
That's when you say she was trying to frame you to get you in trouble. My sister did that shit all the time.
CrazyCatLad
@dobbythehouseelf ....your other half does this too.
Spfeel
You were a clever one
tlk5164
Camelspotting
I did the last one, it's the only time I've ever come close to being hit.
Itschmatsch
Yea thats what I felt. So im not the only one. Let kids be kids.
IWantAllTheCutePuppers
I think this needs to be reversed
bluepopsicles
especially for that last one
Totallyscrewedinaustin
More like?
ProxyPlayerHD
fun fact, a Blue flame is actually hotter than a Red one
maijen0062000
Not judging because Everybody Poops, but how long where those kids unattended?
TheInternetHasRuinedMeForever
Too fucking long.
grapehaterade
At least 5 minutes. #toolong
LateNightBunnyParty
It doesn't take long. Sometimes literally seconds. I can't be everywhere all the time. Sometimes I have to poop.
awkwardbeautiful
Just long enough
Onlyhereforthelaughs
Long enough.
Splosions
unattended next to open buckets of paint.....
MrSpankalot
A visit by the parent to the toilet is enough.
AnnieGitchYerGun
Yes, and not even to poop. Just to pee real quick so I wouldn't the next time I sneezed.
TheBestRussian
Oh high five for stress incontinence
Floridaguysmyfirstcousin
Your judging. Stop it. If you dont have kids enjoy your life and the humor in the lives of those that do.
maijen0062000
Did you read the question? Because I specifically stated I wasn't judging, I'm also a parent.
sweetlittlebee
Believe me kids are quick. Especially toddler/preschool age.
TheArtOfQuietBear929
These things can happen in seconds... :)
Anarchduke
you have no idea how quickly a small child can implement a disastrous idea.
baltec1
Seconds.
Himura82
I walked out of the my office to go to the kitchen and my toddler pulled my TV off the stand and shattered it. Was gone 20 seconds tops.
kmikl
Perhaps only the literal blink of a hummingbirb's eye.
tg2222222
Tenths of seconds
[deleted]
[deleted]
angostura
I often leave my kids playing in the "other room" for more than 10/ 15 at a time while. Not so much when they were toddlers though...
Gremlynn4023
Or put their paints and plasters and shit away.
SomeGeographer
It is amazing what a kid can do in just 1-2 minutes, but all these photos indicate blatant non parental supervision for an extended time.
OneDayWeRodeTheMountainCrestAndIWentEastAndHeWentWest
What do people usually do if they need the bathroom while watching their kid?
maijen0062000
Some parents bring their kids in the bathroom with them, I wouldn't lol but some do.
vulturedoors
Very young kids often get taken into the bathroom too.
Blastergv9
Also, how do people not teach their kids not to touch the TV or Computer?
maijen0062000
My question was mainly inspired by the paint covered big screen, I get it - shit happens. I figured one would catch that kid halfway through
Floridaguysmyfirstcousin
How many dogs do you own
Himura82
You act like kids never disobey...
MarkWatneysVicodinPotato
You act like you've never heard of jumper cables.
concaveUsurper
The thing is, they still do it. I told my brother not to mess with my computer, he used it to secretly change parental controls on his 3DS >
concaveUsurper
> He was ten at the time and old enough to know better. But left the email in my trash can, so I knew what happened.
Totallyscrewedinaustin
None of those were poop.
hydrochlorothiazide
They mean the kids were left alone because the parent had to poop
Totallyscrewedinaustin
Ah, lost a dvd player to that! Toddler filled it with her "credit cards". Never could get it to work after that!
theportablecat
I like these questions, bc I had to babysit my brothers growing up. People seem to think that good parents are hovering over their kids 1/2
theportablecat
24/7, tag-teaming in and out to make food, bathe themselves, etc. No. A 5 year old should be able to play in the next room for 15min.
theportablecat
& honestly, I feel if you're helicoptering to the point that your kid never makes a mess, I wonder how dependent that kid will grow up to be
Floridaguysmyfirstcousin
You will never make some people understand no matter how hard you try. Its simply a way for them to feel superior to others
maijen0062000
If you look at some of those pics, imagine how long it would take for a tiny hand to cover what looks to be a 50 inch TV screen with paint.
maijen0062000
I get parents need time to themselves once in awhile, we're human. Can't help but notice that some of that could have been avoided.
Floridaguysmyfirstcousin
You sweet summer child. You really have no idea do you.
DaierMune
Knowing how quickly todlers operate? 90-120 seconds.
Yddvb76e3000
Ya but they were left unattended with shit they shouldn't have - that's the problem. Who leaves a bucket of paint next to a toddler!?
vulturedoors
If for no other reason than the paint fumes.
JoeT85
yeah, 2 minutes worth of silence is worth at least $200 in damages and 3 hours of muffled rage stress.
Cucumberclouds
YesYouJustLostTheGameAgain
Truest words I've seen on imgur
yeahsurewhatever
Only someone without kids would ask this question.
maijen0062000
I'm a stepfather but I skipped the toddler phase, hence the "not judging" part of my question.
Floridaguysmyfirstcousin
Hahahahaha!
ArchangelTitus
Well no shit lol
Floridaguysmyfirstcousin
Theres always someone asking that question and someone else thinking they know better than an actual parent.
maijen0062000
Are you seriously not considering that some of these could have been avoided? For the record I'm a parent.
Floridaguysmyfirstcousin
Are you seriously taking funny pictures of kids doing what kids as an opportunity to be upset. To find something to be angry about.
maijen0062000
About any of my comments lead you to believe I'm actually upset over kid pictures, you're reaching really hard dude.
Floridaguysmyfirstcousin
Look at all the comments of parents laughing and understanding. 90% or more. Most people get it.
SlasherQuan
I have kids and this was my first thought. Almost none of this could happen without them being unsupervised for quite a while.
SlasherQuan
Except the crayon
bicuriositykilledthiscat
Nope! Not even. My kids can do worlds of damage in literal seconds. I could give 100+ stories from my 10 years of parenting. I’m not /1
bicuriositykilledthiscat
a helicopter parent by any means. But I am a stay at home mom who is really involved with the kids and it’s been a wild ride. /2
bicuriositykilledthiscat
I was potty training my 2nd. We had the front and back door locked up like Fort Knox but the garage door we just had a basic lock up top /3
SlasherQuan
Idk what to tell you, something wrong. If your kids can"literally" do massive damage in seconds they have either too easy access to tools/
SlasherQuan
Destructive items, your house is in disrepair or there's some behavior issues. 20 years of parenting, if time matters, and only writing on
Dontyouknowyoucanfly
My little brother was famous for waiting until mom was distracted and would rush to make the biggest mess he could out of anything
Dontyouknowyoucanfly
Hed smear butter on the floor, mud from outside, spray his urine wherever he could, tear up the newspaper.