crossstitchingangsta
143261
9597
211
me irl
Who are we supposed to hire to act as fictional characters?
Front Page Edit: Please send me pictures of cute puppies.
LoveMeAJuicyCupcake
TIL that apparently laughing loudly and saying 'this is such a funny dump" is not appropriate language for a doctors waiting room.
tangledreece
I want that gorgeous man and his pocket puppy please.
CerealFirstOrWaterFirst
I still can't really get over that 1000+ image tumblr dump. i think i'm all tumblr'd out
70Becks
Was debating the upvote but you got me with the beautiful pun at the end. +1
nukkah
Governor Steve Buscemi for president, remember to vote guys
aelita
*fellow kids
SchrodingersApe
I totally would.
NotEvenSupposedToBeHere
Before I realized the guy was trolling her I almost google steve Buscemi governor to see if I missed the boat lol
Sockpuppetmastermind
I would actually really like him to he president
malakim
That spooning one! Joke's on you! I was hard the second you started getting ready for bed, woman.
BigStupidHead
I thoroughly enjoyed this big steaming dump. +1
PieSpie
But... But that's an aligator. Notice the flat, vertical tail
MasterBryan
Thats an alligator ffs
SimonGarfunkle
But...that's an alligator
KillerCaitie
The "towel hat" thing is a skill all chicks are born having. You don't learn it, you just do it.
ELOHELEHLola
Nah, my mom had to show me.
InformalProof
Syng420
Not every parent can afford stuff like that.
BreadyStinellis
It was like $10 for a year's subscription. Also, every waiting room you were in the 80s and 90s had zoobooks and highlights.
Syng420
Great, go back to the past and tell my pos dad to give my mom child support, maybe then I'll get it.
ImgurHasTheBestShitposts
#2 I am a man with long hair and I have learned the secret of the towel hat
40ozinmylapandimfreezinmyjunk
This entertained me +1 Especially for the bagel in a blender post, so true.
HelloMyNameIsEmily
#10 is pretty much me and my current girlfriend. (She was the one dropping hints, for the record. I am not a clever lady.)
Tigorahan
ohfudgemocha
#8 wait why are her knees blurred out
Pouvatsu
+1 for that last image. xD
benadrylbumblebutt
I'm confuse, I've never seen a floating penis. they don't, do they?
Wildgazer
That's an alligator though, the pointed face.
Ippeppe
Salmiakkivodka. Torille!
bardock
why are her knees blurred out?
ilovemynami
It takes approximately three random body wiggles
mirdreams
To get to the center of a Tootsie Pop?
THEBESTUSERNAMEINTHEWHOLEWIDEWORLDEVERSINCETHEBEGINNINGOFTIME
For the tootsie pop to get in the center of you
NachoPete
"Tea you later"? I would have gone back and high fived the guy.
EvilOverlord1994
Ummm that might have been my co-worker he does shit like that all the time.
BillListo
Did he bag that for you? Hope he wouldnt steep down that low in customer service. You must leaf satisfied.
AlmostScientist
if OP was a girl, marry that man because he's a gonna be a dad
tpgreyknight
I would have high-fived him too! Right in the face!
PeopleAreMadeToBeBroken
With a chair?
TkMacintosh
Damn straight! ...Well maybe after I groaned and finished laughing my ass off.
RaRaRaChihuahua
A slap was the appropriate response
zsefvgb
bad puns are like a STEEP cliff, once you make one you brews control and they get worse
marsbaltz
Woah. Did not tea that coming.
DaddySlapper
*high fives your face*
tooncake
I tea what you did there.
danktrees
To tea, or not to tea, that is the question
Jefie
http://gif.co/oHgC.gif
topherrobin
Too soon!
GrumpyoldBear
you meant "two spoons" .... of sugar, of course.
tinkerbug
William - will - Bill. Robert - rob - Bob. Richard - rick - Dick. It's really not difficult.
OryanTheJose
It's not difficult, it's just fucking stupid.
iLoveItWhenMyFingersSmellLikePussy
AppleOfClowns
Cockney Rhyming Slang. That's what started it.
BionicToad
If that were true the Internet's funniest joke would surely be called Dick-Rolling.
EroticZombiePants
Why 'Rick' for Richard and not 'Rich'?
tinkerbug
idk sorry, ask a cockney?
wellthisjustgotinteresting
I've seen about half of these, but the half I've seen, I still enjoyed, and the other half I liked, so I don't mind. +1 for nice dump
myfootyourbutt
WHO FUCKING CARES?????
NotEvenSupposedToBeHere
Seemingly over 300 people
myfootyourbutt
They can all suck my internet dick I have over 300 confirmed kills
insomniax20
You're very generous. You're one very special human being!
wellthisjustgotinteresting
You too. +1
JhericFury
NotEvenSupposedToBeHere
I thought I was pretty much a hundred under a towel, towel there to catch drippiness. Twisting it in there makes a helluva lot more sense
Aerata
I'm 20 with 4 sisters. I just thought it was plopped on your head. Didn't realize the twist had a purpose other than structural integrity.
Badassiel
I remember just one day figuring it out. Nobody told me how, it just sort of happened.
WTBGold
SHE NEVER ANSWERED THE QUESTION OF HOW IT WORKS!
JhericFury
Who? And what do you mean how? It's a towel, it dries things. If you mean the mechanism, someone posted a link in a reply to a reply to me.
WhatYearIsThis
You literally just wrap your hair in the towel, and then twist it so it dries your hair and the towel stays on your head
xuvial
I thought the point was to stop wind from hitting wet hair (can give a cold). Didn't know hair was literally twisted up with the towel!
potatiskatt
I just do it because otherwise the hair will drip on my back forever and if I try to put on a shirt it'll get wet and that's just annoying
Barley426
Ok, but you don't really think cold air hitting wet hair will give you a cold now do you?
JhericFury
I have never left the house with a towel hat. Buy i guess that would be a good reason if you needed to
BreadyStinellis
You don't catch a cold from being cold,it's just something parents say so they don't have to listen to you bitch about being cold in an hour
peppermintpixie
(no it can't)
Phoenalix
Honestly I thought it was just bunched up underneath I'm 20 and just now realised its true purpose
NucularCrisitunity
Don't worry, i'm 37 and also didn't know that.
secretacount32
Wait, can someone tell me it's purpose.
Syng420
The towel wicks the water off your hair.
secretacount32
Much appreciated.
possum33
The towel hat one gets to me. My boyfriend has longer hair then me (mid back), he was dumbfounded when I taught him the technique.
clancysmum
How did he not know? Because, boy? I always assumed it was an instinct that came with long hair.
possum33
Me too. I thought it was quite obvious. Somehow it was this mysterious thing to him
tpgreyknight
As a long-haired guy, I still don't know how to do it. You should make an instructional post.
[deleted]
[deleted]
tpgreyknight
Aw yiss
RicecakesMcgee
Big Hero 6 is a great movie
Skelliton
Saw it for the first time a couple of days ago. I was fucking dehydrated by the end.
RicecakesMcgee
So true
anybodyknowsthat
ohthosefartypartys
My new girl has massive tits and when we go to the beach which is every day they float up and i can't get out of the water for 5 minuteskthx
IAmTheGatekeeper
It's less of a riddle, more of a rhetorical question. We already know, we just want to do it repeatedly to see if we're right.
MyOtherShipIsAPython
Hell, I'm just thinking about spooning, and I haven't even gotten in our imaginary bed, and I'm already hard.
xenoraptor
The reply to that rhyme is "every time"
kahless01
already was when we started
NotEvenSupposedToBeHere
As specially when your in boxers and she's in nice soft pajama pants. Hnnnnnnnnngggg
NotACreeper4345
Bf gets hard whenever we cuddle. Weve been dating for 2 yrs. I get so confused whether he wants some or is just happy and wants to cuddle :/
LoinKing
Por que no los dos?
W4kk0
He's wants to cuddle, but if you took off your clothes and wiggled your booty to indicate YOU want some, he's not going to stop you.
wellthisjustgotinteresting
Basically on contact. Like, eye contact. If guys see something pretty they get hard is what I'm trying to convey here
scruffymarcher
I mean it's not even limited to sight, thoughts are more than enough tbh
SovereignPhantasmia
I'm 21 and still get random boners. Also even thoughts that lead to sexy thought give me a chubby. I'm very horny, is what I'm trying to say
HermanManly
22 and the only reason I wear a belt is to tuck my random boners away.
scruffymarcher
We used to call them BFNR's in 8th grade- boners for no reason
DowntownVegasEddie
I'm 34. The random erections have yet to stop
Fandumb
I feel like Erectyle Disfunction would be a blessing not a curse...
wellthisjustgotinteresting
Misora
Generally true. I shudder to think what's yet to come.
wellthisjustgotinteresting
Romney = McCain minus intelligence. Trump = Romney minus friendly. Next guy = Trump minus what?
GuardsmanMiku
Hitler for president 2020
wellthisjustgotinteresting
Don't you mean Stalin, CommunistPenguin1?
InternationalPhoneticAlphabet
idk, there was bush junior before that. and you sorta elected him.
BreadyStinellis
Sorta being the important word there. Congress elected him, not us. At least not the first time.
InternationalPhoneticAlphabet
you got played, then you played yourself. congrats.