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Awkward bird tax
7oidberg
#23 is a Grim Fandango reference, isn't it?
enobis
This is the funny section. It's supposed to make me smile. The first one made me sad...
KaminoNeko
#35...it bugs me that Gaston, and only Gaston, is the princess from his own movie.
KinokoQueen
Gotta pay that awkward bird tax
hashbaz
#35 all the rest look disgusted to be in a dress. Gaston is just like "I look fucking great!"
thatexplainssomuch
#5 the fishes eye still freaks me out
Falos
I think it's decoy flesh or something, idk I'm no biofishicist.
BirdmanSucked
#2 are those the neighbors?
IMakeLotsOfReferencesAndRemakes
I think this dude thinks Birdman sucked because he too is a birdman. He is the Penguin. Jokes: check. About eating people: check.
isanyofthisrealornot
#32 I would be so unhappy if my sandwhich was made like this. I want a meal not modern art
TailsFurse
#11 You Hope, You Hope, You Hope.
ThatFuccboi
#16 had me like
AmArschdieRaeuber
Those are artichokes
JuanCena
#9 I see you, ditto
suneloon
#1 is actually a fairy tale by Hans Christian Andersen. Sad AF, but awesome too.
JonathanTU
#11 horneytown rd is in NC i have been by it
FiftyShadesOfCauliflower
#22 Reminds me of
World's oldest dildo. 28,000 yrs old. Found right here in Germany. And they call us prudes
FiftyShadesOfCauliflower
http://www.huffingtonpost.co.uk/2015/01/19/stone-penis-28000-years-old_n_6499780.html
kojenk
#1 *sad lich king music* "No king rules forever my son"
Leidiriv
Father... is it... over?
darianzg
As someone who used to work there, +1 for you
flagbasher
#5 "Ho-ly shit!" https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9p7TndMI_hU
JoseDeLaNoWay
THATSATUNABRO!
GoodEveningThisIsWhatAButtDoesPBBPPBBTT
#2 that looks cool and all, but man. So much of that meat is going to be unevenly cooked.
ThaKingLeonidas
#29 welp, no alcohol for me i guess.
ninizcool
Get off my lawn!
Falos
Does seem like the optimal stat dump. Save money.
Constantshits
Erb Derbs had me crying.
Arkenaw
That one gave me a mini-stroke, I had to stop
Affray
That one had me all fucked up too.
CaptainAmazing
Still a better way to spell it than the right one.
Affray
Only in a silly crazy mush mouth reality is erb derb better than the actual French words for appetisers.
ReallyBadMemory
I just like a simple pronunciation and spelling, like ordervs. That’s honestly how I thought it was spelled too
Affray
I can understand that. And given the way language evolves I'm sure eventually orderves will be an actual English word.
SheepOfTheCosmos
#12 No. Who the fuck paints their car like that
proletariatblues
Nice dump ya got there
topgeardog
David Harbour?
MagpieNI
Jack Nicholson.
mizadventures
#4 At least they have soul. But I hope those two chicks were okay. Good meme dump (most of it)
Sciema
Holly shit, if #2 had better quality id set it as my wallpaper
24rex
i respect your opinion.... a lot
AlexCiderson
#16 got him in an artichoke hold
TheChandrian
nevergoingtogiveyouupnevergoingtoletyoudown
It was never a matter of enough space for Jack. It was a matter of enough buoyancy for Jack and Rose to stay out of the water.
iamlurkerllama
#14 Freddie Mercury, Anton Yelchin, Alan Rickman, and Philip Seymour Hoffman
SnepInTime
Albert Einstein?
iamlurkerllama
Sure why not!
SnepInTime
Maybe throw in Nikola Tesla just for fun.
iamlurkerllama
Marie Curie, Mother Teresa, Jesus Christ........
SnepInTime
but... but... one of those isn't dead
iamlurkerllama
one of the these things is not like the other.....
grklein
To let him finish his death ray?
KAMIkindaGIRL
#4 well, this fish is actually upside down
breakingbadmike
You mean #5 ?
KAMIkindaGIRL
Well what do know.. I was wrong
JaromirAzarov
#1: I'm really tinkering with the idea of getting an artificial one next...
JalapenYoBizness
I got an artificial one right after I went to a tree burning party. Those things are bombs.
IStoleALoafOfBread
I have a small tree that I don't even bother disassembling. That way all I have to do is bring it out of the basement and plug it in!
5NoteHalf
As someone with hayfever/allergies, an artificial one is FREAKING GREAT.
MrLunas
I was always against fake trees, but one year my wife talked me into it. Fantastic tree, used it for years. Still use it.
Nikolai5
That's what the majority do in the UK. I'm 24 and we've only ever bought two of them. Just reuse every year.
MagpieNI
Yeah, we've never had a real tree.
itsybitsyspider
We’ve always had artificial ones growing up.
fandsor
My parents have two fake trees. They just keep them decorated and haul them in and out of the basement. It's so easy.
CPSTforfreeyippee
I've had the same artificial tree since 1998!
SummerCampBonfire
A tree could go his whole life without being chosen... (insert disney logo) THIS DECEMBER
nefleb
In some countries you can rent one for a few weeks in a pot. If you take good care of it, it gets back in the plant nursery until next Xmas.
UrsaUrsa
I second this! All the benefits of a real tree in the house, and no chopping involved. Also, they're easy to maintain for those few weeks :)
flj7
So much less of a hassle. I work long hours and don’t want to deal with getting a tree, plus water and cleanup. Just plug it in and go.
LeonardoDaTiddies
We even got a remote adapter so I don't have to stick my face in the pine needles to plug it in/unplug it each time.
flj7
Nice. My folks have one with a button on the cord. You just use your foot to turn it on and off.
spiderqueendemon
For looks, ease and longevity, a recyclable artificial one made of recycled materials is best. But if one owns a fireplace, real is okay.
spiderqueendemon
We have a fireplace, but my husband couldn't bear to kill a poor tree, so it arrived in a little pot. In 2010. We still have it.
spiderqueendemon
Little bitty apartment-sized Norfolk Island Pine, it's about as tall as our kid now, including its' larger pot. Nice soft needles and all.
spiderqueendemon
That little tree has taken us from grad students in a shitty apartment to young professionals to homeowners to parents. It stays.
spiderqueendemon
We have a conventional artificial one to decorate for Christmas. Norfy is kind of above Christmas now. He is our forever tree.
fskn
Well, y'know, natural ones are biodegradable...
governmentgavemeagun
Artificial ones can last so long that it barely matters (if you take care of them). My parents had their last one for over 30 years.
fskn
We have an artificial one at home that has lasted about that much so far... Yeah, I dunno which one's best. >>
fskn
But what i mean is naturals aren't that bad. Except for the part of throwing them out each year.
fskn
I don't remember having natural ones at home, actually. But we had them in the garden when I was a kid (long ago) and they smell soo good.
HotshotRobot
You really making he case for biodegradability and ignoring the whole CUTTING DOWN TREES EVERY YEAR part? Bruh...
fskn
Plastic = bad. Worse than cutting down trees. Not just the plastic itself, but the whole process of making an artificial tree.
HotshotRobot
Average lifespan of 10 years, and they can be recycled. It’s still better than killing a new tree every year.
fr1080f
Artificial is the way to go bro. Get one with the lights already on it.
Imalwaysready
Till they begin to burn out. Mine did in the second year. Couldn't replace them and couldn't find a string to match the rest.
ominousdusk
The Light Keeper Pro. It's an awesome tool that finds the burnt out bulb. Saves Christmas for me every year!!
fr1080f
I'm sad now. I thought my idea was fool proof.
Imalwaysready
Sorry to be the one to break it to you. My pre-lit tree is six years old and I have to string lights on the whole thing b/c they don't work.
ominousdusk
You get the light keeper pro. it finds the burnt out bulb for you. It's friggin awesome
MichiMikey
I dont get why people want real trees, all the hassle of driving to get one, cleaning after and then doing it all over next year seems dumb.
PleasantPeasantPheasant
It's better for the environment.
daguq
Yeah, plastic tree. So cool.
Magpiebones
It's the scent and the details of it. Fakes look miserable to me. I like to repurpose the dead tree, tho. Firewood, for example.
Sparru
It's only once a year. Life gets dull if you try make everything "easy". I mean why have Christmas itself? It's only a hassle anyway...
NubeyTooby
My family puts up 17 trees ranging from 6ft to 14ft. All artificial. There's a lot of work with artificial if you want to maintain them
Imalwaysready
Because they look better, feel better, smell better...and I say that as an owner of an artificial tree.
Magicflutefreddie
BUT...It makes the whole house smell like Christmas!
popejubal
That smell is mold. I'm not trying to be a downer here, but if anyone has any allergies to mold, an artificial tree is the best Xmas present
Magicflutefreddie
I didn't know that.
Imalwaysready
pine smell is not mold, you're thinking of people who say they like the way old books smell. THAT is mold.
popejubal
Not all of the pine smell is mold, but a good chunk of it is. Other parts include isoprene and similar chemicals.
sulfuratus
I'm pretty sure the smell is mostly due to the resin.
popejubal
A chunk of the smell is isporene, but some comes from mold as well. A Christmas tree is the biggest source of mold most people bring home