TwitterLitter
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Mar 3, 2023 3:06 AM
TwitterLitter
133668
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eggtato
Pie!
IcyLucario
Hero.
Moridin23
kahooki
I'd also choose this someones dead wife.
IcyLucario
It's shocking that this comment has the context to be considered normal and accurate instead of sounding completely deranged.
allenvasher3000
Reminds me of Annie's missing lover video
ToasterDent
CSI tried to hire her for a role, but she... mysteriously disappeared.
MoonMoon89
Rubyrose99
How did OP miss calling it a vageyena?
fedupwithhumanity
The whispering eye
MrRandom314159
#1 Clearopathra, is sincerely GENIUS, a DAMN good double pun.
Anouar76
Yup but my ass is voting for the scoopthereitis....
Anouar76
Song is stuck on my mind
Sonorum
#2 This struck a chord so deep that I got shaking mad just thinking of the dumb DIY shit that's been done to my house
MrWobblyHead
#29 Laugh all you wish. Stupidity should be mocked and called out.
grabyerpitchforks
#4 love Dave Grohl but the fact that his hair isn't tied back or in a net is slightly bugging me
Nofoxlefttogive
In related news, I just bought a strand of Dave Grohl's hair on ebay.
spaceaustin
Seems like a bit of an overpayment, I got one for free at a BBQ.
MassiveMaoMao
#1 “Clearopathra” is the objectively correct choice
xelbi1988
"You're a blizzard, flurry." How they missed that for Harry is beyond me.
WoopDeFrickenDoo
They need to find out who did that I think they found our next Shakespeare.
ToasterDent
They named 8 plows, Clearopathra was one of them!
TheDayTheBrainStoodStill
This. They're all good, but only one is *the best*.
schizznatt
Nah, my favorite is Scoop, there it is.
nobletrex
Blizzo was the winner.
MassiveMaoMao
Shameful.
derrymerbles
So surprised there wasn’t a “Snowy McSnowface” on there. Proud they came up with some gems tho
ToasterDent
I think a previous year's contest had something like that as a winner?
mbus
Plowy McPlowface, yeah. That was 2021. Same year as "Ope, Just Gonna Plow Right Past Ya" and "Plow Bunyan".
JasterMereel11
I love my state ?
huey9k
#39 Who the FUCK is that guy in the middle?
loldongs10000
https://pizzatower.fandom.com/wiki/Peppino
MrSyth
#25 Under da sea, under da sea, you'd not believe but I cannot breathe under da sea! ?
QuitLookinAtMineAim
Sure, just gotta save $50k every year starting at 15 years old. Not make...but save...like extra money beyond living. Ffs
CoBr2
I feel like Motley exists to make you feel bad about yourself so you'll pay them for a solution that doesn't exist.
NotyouGuillermo
It certainly has "needs 10 years experience for entry level position" energy. Like who ever has 50k extra a year? Most ppl don't make that
MinimumContributor
You just have to get a $500k gift when you graduate. Boom, you’re on track /s
WelcomeToMy
By the rate the savings number is increasing by age, 25 has gotta be a typo right? Like it should be 35? Still crazy tho…
PastryNugget
There's some nuance to this. This is talking about things like long term retirement income, ie a 401k. Contributions are pretaxes, and often
PastryNugget
times companies will have a matching/safe harbor program. It’s not literally saving $50,000 a year. Now, I don’t disagree the
PastryNugget
number is stupid. Even if you immediately started a job at 18 making $70,000 a year, contributed 5% of your income to a 401k with 100%
PastryNugget
employer matching, and had an average of 9% return per year, you would have about $69,000 (nice) in your retirement account at 25.
robnorrisradio
#9 What in the everlasting FUCK was that?!
NotSoFastener
Yesterday.
polepolekaz
I can’t believe Better Call Salt did not win.
42underscores
Bit it just plows the anow it doesn't salt it!!
Filanwizard
Snow plows also salt. In US lingo the entire vehicle is called generically called the snow plow or a plow truck.
Filanwizard
In the UK they call them gritters I think.
whatsisname
It did, all of those are the winners out of a shitload of submissions, they named 10 plows.
ImAnActionBirb
Scoop! There it is…
Noitisnot
I was ABSOLUTELY disappointed there was no plowy mcplow face
kimmycat57
I came here for this comment thank you
Tuneytunes47
Plowy McPlowface won the first year of the contest ...2 years ago. I was it's nominator. True story:)
whatsisname
You and like 20,000 other people.
Noitisnot
The hero we deserve
crushingbore
#14 Arthur Fleck
YaaDude
#1 clearopathra is fantastic.
Dondarian
#6 how in the hell does her thumb nail have a nipple ring?
Stanistani
The miracle of epoxy.
becauseurwrong
In the 90's we'd hole punch press-on nails and put earrings thru them. Natural evolution of bored girls.
sinskittles
The girl is on 70mg Vyvanse, at that point ANYTHING is possible
MadamPuddifoot
As someone who is on 70mg of Vyvanse and it's not really enough... *shifty eyes*
sinskittles
I know the struggle. You build a tolerance ? You might try asking for it as a 40mg + 30mg, and days that you can afford it, only take ¹
sinskittles
The 40mg or 30mg. It'll help with the building tolerance thing and save 70mg for when you need it. Also let's you stagger. 40mg in the ²
MadamPuddifoot
At one point, in college, I was on 72mg of Concerta in the morning, then another 36mg at like 2...i was doing 16hr days. Lol
sinskittles
Morning, 30mg maybe around 11am. Of course this all depends on your psychiatrist being willing to write a double prescription ? ³
MadamPuddifoot
I'm pretty much screwed regardless. I've been on adhd meds for 30 years, sooo my tolerance is always going to win lol.
MaybeAcat
My dad is from Texas and he eats oranges with the skin on.
SmoeAhsolse
This barely changes the meme.
HUMPTYGUMP
#1 Woo Minnesota!
copperstryker452
#45 Vag-eye-na
Rubyrose99
Thank you.gif
UltraHellboy
#9 - That is actually some pretty good Photoshop on Kamala Harris.
Rogerwilco1974
#33 #FirstClassProblrms
thebansheee
#27 my friend doesn’t get it?
Totallyscrewedinaustin
#11 wonder how this person's night was?
staceyjorgenson31415
Awesome,,,,,,if someone recorded it :)
whatsisname
#1 - Lizzo also stated that this was the highest honor she's ever received.
PMAW
#2 the joys of homeownership
Snooj
I bought my house from a Do It Yourselfer. I'm a full time Redo It Yourselfer thanks to that.
vegivamp
Sure, but that's a tweet from someone who has never built a house. Shit's expensive yo, gotta save where you can.
allenvasher3000
The guy who installed my the inducer pipe right up against the furnace ID sticker can't read any of. Thanks dad.
shmerdaburrdaburr
I’ve got a 60 year old house. I find all sorts of weird shit every time I need to do something.
PhailRaptor
Ah, I love the smell of asbestos insulation in the walls, pipes, around the water heater, in the attic...
vegivamp
I recommend against smelling the asbestos...
shmerdaburrdaburr
We’ve done an assload of asbestos tests and they’ve all come back negative. Lead paint on the other hand…
shmerdaburrdaburr
And don’t get me started on the lack of insulation. I get that it’s temperate in the PNW, but not even a little? Fuck!
Totallyscrewedinaustin
#32 this one's funny, cause the West Side has California, Utah (with all the religiously obligated to be armed LDS), survivalists, and Texas
Relicanth
If the nation splits, it will be north and south again because the confederates are not over it from last time yet.
Totallyscrewedinaustin
I'm just going based on where the line is in the meme, not like a serious answer! But yeah, that would be my guess for CW2
DressSoxForSnakes
Only a fool doesn't fear Florida Man.
PikachuOnDeezNuts
#38 Who has even thought of Texans as having a mild accent? They’ve got one of the most stereotyped accent in the whole county, if not world
TheN8
Grew up in the UK watching Foghorn Leghorn on Looney Tunes - Texan was the first US accent I ever noticed.
RobotMenace
I think they mean "mild" as in "mild mannered sounding" and not it's not a strong accent.
BackgroundCharacter
vag-eye-na
HoiPolloiBoi
Waaaaghhumbug
sfrinlan
MadamPuddifoot
She actually acknowledged that she blew it in the first reply tweet, but she was too excited to make fun of it on Twitter lol
ImAnActionBirb
Came down here to say this [stole my line gif]
Rubyrose99
Same, birb
thatsitigiveupimgettinganaccount
mcuhles
Came to the comments to say EXACTLY this! michaelScottThankYou.gif
mymidlifecrisiswasat23
mcuhles
You assume everyone here knows how to do that. I haven’t bothered to figure it out and frankly I cba to learn. Unless you want to tell me?
mymidlifecrisiswasat23
Ha! You’re assuming that I am assuming, “everyone”. That’s a pretty big assumption
Higure
No. The vagina is the inside part, the tube itself. The visible outside part is a vulva.
DerekReidCupcake
True but in the tattoo you see down inside the tube so vagina works too
AlmostHappy
You’re right, but that’s not punny.
Higure
This is true. It degrades the pun to use the wrong word.
BackgroundCharacter
vulva-yeball just doesnt hit right
catamenia
VEYELVA?
Snausagebort
That’s a cheese
reichstein
I reckon in this case comedy trumps accuracy. But hey, if you have a more accurate funny name for this tattoo let us know.
Higure
Not really. But using the wrong word for a pun does weaken the pun.
reichstein
Sure, but a weak pun is still funnier than no pun at all, which is what it seems you are offering.
Higure
I am also correcting a misconception a lot of people have about the names for female genitalia. So there's a PSA aspect to it as well.
vegivamp
#28 I haven't really been following Marky Mark, but if THAT'S the most recent thing you can find, you're reaching. People can change.
QueenOfTheFey
Sometimes people don't change. Sometimes they just have more to lose,so it's not worth it. What has he done for the black/asian communities?
vegivamp
So because _some_ people don't change, _all_ people are condemned forever? Off to the gallows with you.
QueenOfTheFey
Never said that. Said ONE PERSON who has shown no real remorse or reconciliation, just covering his ass, hasn't shown change.
QueenOfTheFey
If Marky Mark had actually changed, he'd actually acknowledge they were hate crimes, and work towards helping the ppl/communities he hurt.
QueenOfTheFey
Like sorry that I think the millionaire attempted murderer with 20+ hate crimes under his belt should maybe actually make an effort.
Moridin23
I mean, it’s not like it was 40 years ago, he was on drugs, and he’s apologized many, many times cant 1/2
MechanicalRomance
Its not like he beat a black man half to death 30 years ago. Its not like in 2014 he applied for a pardon. He's served 45 days. 5 assaults
lucivjov
Yeah the chasing grades fours while yelling racial slurs and getting off after a few months? Doesn’t everyone do that??
YaaDude
By her rationale, she’ll always be a cunt.
Moridin23
People like her see themselves as having the moral high ground and her echo chamber reinforces it. She has no incentive to change
CobraCommander1981
Also, the man has forgiven him.
derrymerbles
Don’t know why you’re downvoted here. The (second) Vietnamese man he attacked forgave him. Source:
derrymerbles
https://www.independent.co.uk/arts-entertainment/films/news/mark-wahlberg-racist-hate-crimes-wikipedia-history-george-floyd-blm-protests-a95
derrymerbles
54191.html hahaha I’m really bad at computers
QueenOfTheFey
One man of MANY victims.He got a civil rights injunction for over 20 assaults.Then he committed the other attack of 2 men he got time for
Youhavinagiraffe
Forgiveness is a good thing but it isn't an entitlement and several people Marky racistly terrorised have declared that they have no...
Youhavinagiraffe
...intention of accepting his apology. It's also not like this is affecting his ability to get high profile, high paid work. If all that...
Youhavinagiraffe
...happens is a few disparaging online comments then I'd say he's had near total freedom to change.
QueenOfTheFey
I'll forgive him when his victims do. And for now, one of his victims (who was a 8 year old girl when he assaulted her and her friends) is+
QueenOfTheFey
+still actively and openly opposed to the idea. And since he's faced no real repercussions for his acts, fuck him
zanli
If he was repentant, why did he apply for a pardon for his crimes in 2014? Wouldn't a repentant person accept that they deserved punishment?
vegivamp
Because "repentant" means you accept that you have done wrong? At which point it's not unreasonable to seek forgiveness?
vegivamp
Honestly, what kind of a dumb take was that, dude.
Darkwolf2577
Is that not the point of a pardon..? He has been punished (from what I understand), and, if it can be seen that he has changed and >
Darkwolf2577
improved himself and become a better person, doesn't it make sense to give someone a pardon? They are no longer that person anymore.
magitek
Oh man, you got him! Every apology must have been a lie!
Moridin23
Because he sees himself as a different people who would never do that sort of thing ever again
zanli
That's a decision one should leave to others, not make for yourself.
jackwagon311
It was someone else's decision- a fucking judge. jfc
QueenOfTheFey
You don't get forgiveness for promising not to hurt people again, that's expected, you get it for taking action towards reconciliation
SteepedGardenMrsChen
Because everyone that serves their sentence should be free to get a job.
QueenOfTheFey
Then fight for that. Also, obvious point, he exactly been out of work for that last 35 years
QueenOfTheFey
*hasn't exactly
SteepedGardenMrsChen
He did fight for it. He got the pardon. Obviously Marky Mark is only one with a criminal record. They served their time, they don't deserve
QueenOfTheFey
No, he didn't. His pardon application was withdrawn after the assistant attorney general put out a piece pointing out he didn't actually+
SteepedGardenMrsChen
To be turned down from work because they checked the "criminal record" box on the application.
Moridin23
/2 go letting people change or anything; always define them by the worst thing they ever did as a teenager
PeenanBeenan
Was it during or right after the war, cause while it's not a good excuse. Tensions were high back then
weerdo
Would you be that kind to a rapist 30 years after the rape of your 8 y/old daughter? I think you would still murder him..
Moridin23
Strawman much?
weerdo
?
CliffWestern
Not saying people should be marked forever but if all he did was apologize, don't you think people have the right to question that decision?
CliffWestern
Why do you think he is entitled to speak at that event? Has he done work to actually attone for what he did or did he apologize it away? 2
CliffWestern
Do WE need to really be making sure that a very rich and privileged man gets EVERY privilege they are 'entitled' to? Don't you think it's 3
CliffWestern
Perhaps a little short sighted to focus in on a single statement someone made as being unfair when everything he has he only has because 4
lucivjov
He chased and threw rocks at black children, later had a drug fuelled trip on Asian Americans. Man has unfixed problems covered by money
sfrinlan
+1. If someone shows true remorse and makes real changes that demonstrate that, then we should let them back into regular society.
MechanicalRomance
The worst half dozen things they did as a teenager and the attempt to erase them from his criminal history he did as an adult. Not 1 thing.
YadLladnek
Then how about anyone else but him though? even if I forgive him can it be anyone else that didn’t do that presenting this?
CanuckleheadCan
that sentence structure though.
Moridin23
Literally wtf is that guy trying to say?
thotterpop
I didnt even know about it untill this post. I defined him by his ability to get so many roles despite his terrible acting.
squintish
It’s like his superpower or something.
Dergen89
He is one of those actors that plays the same guy everytime.
ShadyEsperanto
If they discussed it with the cast first, it's a good example of how people can change and become better. If they didn't, then it feels a 1/
ShadyEsperanto
little different to me...I can't tell them how they should feel about things, y'know? It's gotta go both ways to work; can't force it. 2/2
BigFatFailureTurtle
Unless the crime was committed against them or their family, I don't see why?
ShadyEsperanto
I can't tell you how to feel about things either, so if you want to tell people they need to get over it and forgive, you do you.
vegivamp
I don't agree. If he's honestly been better, he shouldn't be denied opportunities regardless of who holds on to old grudges.
KevinStrexcorp
No one was suggesting denying him opportunities. Just not asking SE Asians to be totally cool with shaking his hand
ShadyEsperanto
And that's an option you have. I can't tell you how to feel about things either.
MmmmmSoup
Right unless they raped or killed someone, let it go
QueenOfTheFey
You do get what a hate crime is right? He was charged with attempted murder, but got a plea deal on assault. Thats not a small thing
MmmmmSoup
I'll be honest I never looked into what he did because I don't give two shits about marky mark
QueenOfTheFey
He had 20+ incidents of minor assault hate crimes, and 1 incident of attempted murder where he beat a man with a 2x4 while screaming slurs.
Beefkins
It wasn't like these were the only incidences, either. He was a big enough piece of shit before that idgaf if he's reformed.
QueenOfTheFey
The judge that let him slide on his first hate charge said she doesnt believe hes reformed,he just doesnt want to deal with the consequences
Wolfshead009
Yeah? The "worst thing" I ever did as a teenager was NOT beating an old guy so badly he had permanent eye damage because he wasn't white.
10thlettersauce
Sad you got downvoted for being right, get mad and beat some Vietnamese people then they will love you /s
Moridin23
Congrats on being better than teenage Wahlberg. What’s even the point if prison if we don’t forgive them when they finish their time? Should
lucivjov
Hey MAGA, why are you brushing off the racism casually with forgiveness?
Moridin23
Imagine being such a bad person that you type out that comment
Moridin23
we just execute people who commit violent crimes since they apparently can never change and rehabilitate?
imshitfacedrunk
I agree with you, but if someone said if I went over the speed limit at all i’d be catching a bullet, i’m driving 5 under always.
MechanicalRomance
He served 45 days in prison for attempted murder. Lets not pretend he was served any form of justice. Like, he wasnt rehabilitated.
Thiccperson
Seriously. This attitude is getting old fast.
huey9k
Right there with you.
lucivjov
Found the MAGA. Easy there white supremacy, actions have consequences and memories should last longer.
Thiccperson
Not even close, sweetheart. And btw, the world isn't goodies and baddies, most people have a lot of both in them. Please touch grass.
lucivjov
I appreciate your wisdom and bides, Sage, but actions have consequences, and the “baddies” depend on your memories fading.
unclesmeatball
Yeah yeah but he's still saying pretentious and problematic stuff now all the time
Moridin23
Like?
Moridin23
I legit mean it as a question; do you have specific examples? I know he’s a health nut but that makes him more annoying than bad
MechanicalRomance
He claimed in 2012 that he would have stopped 911 if he was on the plane (victim blaming). He tried to seek a pardon for his crimes in 2016.
MechanicalRomance
Also there were 5 assaults. Not just the one like you were pretending earlier. Weird that so many people run defense for rich assholes.
Moridin23
The people who do it are some of the worst, most toxic assholes in our society. And the live in echo chambers that call them heroes for it
Thiccperson
MechanicalRomance
He assaulted 5 people, not one, and he tried to erase them from his criminal record as an adult. Hes not interested in accountability.
MechanicalRomance
He claimed in 2012 he would have single handedly stopped 9/11, implying the people on the plane let it happen. Hes not a good guy.