thebansheee
79046
2261
107
Dec 20, 2023 2:50 AM
thebansheee
79046
2261
107
bondematt
You know, I never through about it, but I get paid to shit in my own toilet.
Nalianna
I refuse to poo at work, they have shitty paper, and i like to shower after. - Doesn't mean i wont' waste time another way
PoopsMcgee1980
Small victories
braddCommentSmuggler
5 days a week my toilet at home goes unused. I figured out solely dumping at work equals nearly 2 weeks paid poo-cation a year
thegrasstronaut
I did it on overtime once, was making almost a dollar a minute. That was one of the greatest dumps of my career
BohabRex
lucifer63
Is talking about shit funny for people older than 12 years? Cant believe it. Downvoting all the toilet humour at imgur
fallen1092
Not only do you get paid for it but you save money by using their toilet paper and their water.
MajorNikon
Three day weekends are the hardest
SickBound
I had a coworker do this every morning. In the correct setting I wouldn't give a fuck, but working in a bakery or food service its forcing your coworkers to pick up your slack while you're in there shitting.
dingleberrysauce
BucketOfToads
I always poo at work, either when I get in or immediately following my 10 minute break. I like my company, it's an easy job that treats me well and has good benefits, but I'll be damned if I'm going to pass up the opportunity to get paid to shit.
Also, since I'm a food service worker and we're talking about bathroom stuff, a reminder to always wash your hands. ALWAYS.
AngelSanchez3000
This is the way
Hatseflats01
I also go to the hairdresser in company time, after all, it also grows in company time
ps238principal
You're also saving money on toilet paper.
XuncuTheTiger
ChickenBaconAndCheese
CanIGetSomeExtraSalt
getting paid to poop is the daily goal
iabductaliens11
Many poops a day here. Fuck the greedy.
OddlyPacific
I missed a morning poo and had to shit at the job site porta potty
Pyrowolf1
If I did that, I would probably end up pooping my pants in the car
tomascco
adrianontherocks
Just poop at home where it’s comfier, then pretend to poop at work.
ISeeYouMetTheMuffinMan
that's exactly what I strive to do. get my poops done in the morning. then when I get burnt out at work, pretend to shit so I can sit in the washroom stall, looking at memes
SoftKleenex
Win win
weirdnorwegianguy
Guess who's looking at this meme while pooping on company time?
Melkunie
Oh I know this one! It's Melkunie!
weirdnorwegianguy
Well hello there, fellow work-pooper!
RoyDMercer
You're my hero.
MacAndMemes
If you wanted to be this petty you could simply have shit when you needed to and then pretended to shit on company time. Nobody is in the company restroom sniffing your butthole.
Astramancer
Another outrage! >Nobody is in the company restroom sniffing your butthole.
MajorNikon
ChicaFoxy
Thank you, I have many uses for this!
KingWhisky
MetYourMomOnAshleyMadison
BobTheWeak
OneOfTheEnemiesWithin
DanimalRC
Ivalicenyan
I too like to have bits of dried shing clinging to my ass for entire 8-16 hour shifts. On a more serious note, why not lie about needing to shit so you're paid anyways AND have a clean asshole?
BucketOfToads
Either something is seriously wrong with your wiping technique or your company needs to spring for better toilet paper. I really hope it's the latter.
Ivalicenyan
Does your company provide bidets or wet wipes? If not then shut up. No one's wiping technique is so superior that they can *clean* their ass using dry fucking paper. You're not *clean* just because you did a good wiping job.
Agreement2agree
That's just not my lived experience.
Ivalicenyan
Sounds to me that you're some sort of animal person
Agreement2agree
Try to imagine how much I value your opinion.
falsetruefalse
I’ve conditioned my body to poop only at work.
ILike2TouchButts
Mines is conditioned the complete opposite way.
madeejit
You may not like it, but this is what peak performance looks like.
Gargwill
Poop performance
SickSadWhirled
How? I tell my ass I’m not mad, but that I’m disappointed in it when I poo before i get to work. It’s not getting me results.
DrPBizzle
Tie it in with the caffeine routine.
FearOsheema
Too passive-aggressive. Try pepper spray.
falsetruefalse
I wish I knew. My body tends to put itself into routines sometimes. I worked from home for 3 years and was fine. Once I started working away from home I just started almost exclusively going there.
HypnagogicHallucinations
The holidays are going to be a rough time.
Twist1000
Lol!
iWantedAcoolNameButTheyOnlyHadThisOne
But then, the first day at work, will basically be all poop. It evens out.
falsetruefalse
Sadly it is sometimes true, being backed up a few days sucks. Unthankfully, I work the holidays.
TheRicM
Wishing you a Happy Poo Year
WhereIsMyAppleQuava
wolfspirit21
I'm the opposite. I don't like pooping in public.
falsetruefalse
Which is the funny part because I mentally despise it as well.
Grimmrog
yeah some people take hygiene not very seriously, so public or shared toilets can be a lottery of things you do not want. At the same time I am not angry anymore when someone doesn't flush. Having a kid with ADHD forgetting this regulary makes you just wonder of the other person probably has the same issue.
BillHubbard
I work from home. I poop in private during office hours. Right now tbh.
JayL80
One of us.
ILike2TouchButts
Same. I can't. I also go once every 3 days or more. My BF feels out about it.
bangbangbangbangbangbangbangban
Sposed to be once a day. Drink more water and eat more fiber.
ILike2TouchButts
I drink about 2 litres a day, and I eat veggies daily. My body do... what my body do...
Gwenx
That is not true, its normal to poop 0.5-3 times a day, and going one or two days is not dangerous IF thats your NORMAL routine :)
I am indeed a smol stickfigure i roughly poop every other day, but it depends on the foods i eat and how mch my intake is.
Why do i know this? Bc my partner poops 4-5 a day and i got worried for him and myself, both saw a doctor and where told we where just fine, i get somewhat more constipated so i need to eat some pills to help that but otherwise its fine.
ILike2TouchButts
I drink poopy tea.
bangbangbangbangbangbangbangban
How dare you, I'm an armchair doctor don't you know!