EmmAhGerd
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So three weeks ago I made a post about wanting to be a woman despite have a pretty all around great life.
I had a ton of support! Thank you to those who talked with me, there were a few in particular who really gave me a lot of encouragement.
I told my wife and her reply was “Let’s be ladies together!” She went out and bought me clothing, taught me make up and skin care routines, even going so far as to making a chart tracking how we feel about the subject. She’s literally the best.
We both know I should start HRT and she is encouraging of that.
However I am absolutely terrified about it. I don’t want to be stuck in between and being six foot with broad shoulders and size thirteen feet makes me really worried. r/transtimelines gives me hope but I can’t shake the negative feelings.
I’m also super scared of telling my work and family. I honestly am 90% confident that this will go well, but the conversations so damned awkward. My boss loves me like a son so that’s going to be tough.
The goal is to start HRT by my birthday, July. I just need to dig a well and find the courage.
If you made it this far thank you for reading. I’m so worried and excited. I hope I can do it.
***MOST VIRAL EDIT***
Leave it to the post on a throw away account to be my only post to go most vital. I’m going to try and reply to all the comments which are inspiring. This is giving me courage. Thank you.
You’re all right. My wife is amazing and even telling her has improved our communication. She’s an amazing human being who does not see just how great she is. I’m going to use all your comments to prove it to her. ❤️
Pikkupanda
You weirdo…how dare you be so brave as to fight fears to live happy and true? You’re making us cowardly conformists look bad. :)
cuttysark
You have an amazing wife!
ImCranky
You’re wife ain’t no lady…she’s a full on Dame!! Congrats on your choice!
TeishaTaisha
Growing my own boobs was the beat and hardest thing I've ever done. 5/7 would recommend
SupposablyPersnickity
Oh, good luck on your journey. Hope it’s well received on all fronts!
Frogapus
The prospect of transitioning can be scary. I was daunted when I first began. But what was MORE scary was the idea of living my whole life as a man and never getting to be a woman. That helped me make my decision.
Bloodyvalentine549
If it makes you feel any better, I'm a 5'11 woman with broad shoulders and my feet were a women's size 13 (men's 11.5) wide before they had to be reconstructed. And I was female from birth. Women come in all shapes and sizes. My Occupational therapist is a 6'2 woman too. Amazon queens for the win!
1moreStep2Go
You already have the best and greatest ally you'll ever need IMHO. All else will fall into place with your wife by your side.
TruthJusticeFreedomReasonablyPricedLoveAndAHardBoiledEgg
I'm a cis woman just shy of 6' tall with size 12 feet. Finding feminine shoes will be a hassle. A lot of stores/brands only go up to size 10 or 11, but if you shop bigger websites, they usually have some decent options. Unless a shirt is marked "tall", it's generally designed to fit someone around 5'6" and will fall a few inches short of the intended fit. I usually look for tunic-length. Your wife sounds amazing! I wish you the best for your transition!
Flowerlady0
My daughter wears size 12 and I wear size 11. Thank you for putting pressure on shoe companies to make larger size ladies shoes
Hotsolce
Welcome out of the closet and into the light, sister. You've always been a part of the Family, and we're so happy to have you!
TheGreatAndUndeniableDoosher
Simply put your wife rocks!! So do you, by the way!
angiepai
Thanks for the update OP!! This is so exciting. You should wife your wife all over again after! :) she seems awesome
somethingcleverisuspect
You got this! With support like that by your side, you can do anything! Progress updates please! You are also inspiring to soo many struggling to do what you have done
Eddafred
She's a keeper. Good thing you wifed her already.
FoxyEllie
Now that I've been a member of this community for almost a year, I'd say that what you're feeling is one of the most common things. Myself included! Thinking about starting had me waffling for weeks before I decided to take the plunge. It's a big step to think about! I've been on hrt for a bit shy of 7 months now, and I can still remember every part of that first day, from the appointment to over analyzing every little feeling after I took my first estrogen pill.
Chibidragon
You go girl!
EmmAhGerd
I like this. Thank you.
badgerbadgerbadgermushroommushroom
GOOD. FOR. YOU. - Seriously. You have an awesome spouse. I hope you both live out your days in happiness and peace.
bluebuildings
Hey friend - if it makes you feel any better, I'm a cis lady who's 5'10, has size 11 feet and is built like a goddamn linebacker. If people will accept me as a lady, I'm sure they'll accept you too! And if not... I'll punch 'em in the nose for you.
AlfredDPrince
Bloodyvalentine549
Saaammmmeeeee! I'll ram 'em in the knees with my wheelchair!
Pikkupanda
You. I like you. You are awesome.
bluebuildings
I like you too! I hope you have an absolutely fantastic weekend.
delecti
Transition is a la carte, not a package deal, and doesn't need to follow any timeline but yours. Do as many or as few things as you want, at any pace you want. That includes presenting any particular way. I was on HRT for like a decade before I decided to start presenting publicly, just being on HRT was plenty until that point.
EmmAhGerd
That’s kind of my plan but I hear genetics determines how HRT effect you. If that’s true I may bust out of my shirt and that maybe hard to hide.
delecti
Ha, well very few of us are lucky enough to have that "problem", but it would also make passing sooner a lot easier.
EmmAhGerd
Yeah. A bit worried about it. Also excited? I mean my wife is an academic. We’ve been researching. This for a few weeks now. We’ve landed on how we can in, maximize it.
Diplocrap
A lot of us get a year to a year-and-a-half into it and realize we aren’t even interested in passing anymore. Irritatingly, we pass a lot of the time anyway by that point. Even if we are being clocked, nobody is treating us differently. And that’s exactly perfect.
ScienceHarder
I made that same move 406 days ago. It's scary, and I still worry about how people will react, but I've gotta tell you: Every single step I've made in that direction has made me happier than I've been in years. Good luck!
joinha
Stop counting days, my friend. It's time to start counting years!
asymmetricia
This. There's nothing you have to do or don't have to do. Go where it's warm.
EmmAhGerd
It’s a lot of short term social discomfort for long term happiness from what I understand. Thank you for the encouragement.
fknbastard
You will be surprised at how quickly it goes from fear to joy. I find myself talking to people more, smiling more, my friends say I glow 🥰 congratulations 🎊
Diplocrap
The change is immediate, and your close friends and family will tell you so.
fknbastard
Same - 6 months in 🎉
LoyalToTheEnd
I feel obliged to say “I too would choose this woman’s wife.” It’s awesome to have that kind of support, no matter life’s circumstances. Good luck on your journey!
EmmAhGerd
She’s mine!
LoyalToTheEnd
StabbyMcMurder
Oh hey we're birthday twins, and as your new official twin I just wanna say you got this. You do know there are girls who were born as girls who are 6 feet tall with broad shoulders and size 13 shoes right? Heck I know someone personally like that. She's not quite 6 feet tall but her feet are that big. So you won't even be unique in that sense. I don't know you but if you hesitate and put it off, I have a feeling you'll regret it later. You have way more supporters out there than naysayers, and
GreaseMonkeyOfLove
Is she single? You just described 60% of my exgfs.
StabbyMcMurder
If your boss loves you like a son, then he'll love you like a daughter. Now go out and show the world your colors and never apologize for who you are.
landbaronness42
Bad part is when the boss has to cut her salary 25% 😆 because, you know, company policy…
StabbyMcMurder
Oof
BenderRodriguz1010
DocBeeblebrox
That's amazing that you have such a supportive wife :) PS When I saw your last post, I thought positive things and also "hey that description (age, size) about matches ". And on this post you mention your bday... which matches 's bday! Life's little coincidences eh? Good luck going forward and wherever you end up, live your best life :D
DocBeeblebrox
But more than age and size, life circumstances too- good salary, progressive job... but I guess if you look for patterns/coincidences the brain will make things fit
EmmAhGerd
Oh god. Where is your “friend” from?
BishlamekGurpgork
Shh! Never trust a guy who's been President of the Universe. Those capable of attaining the position are the people least suited to perform it.
DocBeeblebrox
North of England currently, but it'd be chance in a million that you are they tbh! There were details I thought I remembered from the other post, like I was sure you mentioned your specific age and country, but on double checking I don't see them. Maybe there's been another rad/bad-penguin post about a mid-thirties guy wanting to transition recently :D
DocBeeblebrox
Yes, it appears I conflated two posts ( /gallery/uMVPnEQ ) but I'm sure I saw your last one! Good luck on your journey :)
codenameRadical
It is so incredibly, ridiculously common for trans women at the start to insist that they'll never look good. This includes many people you might think look good. The sizing stuff is annoying, more than anything. Beyond that though, there's an old lesbian proverb that says "Tall lady hot".
EmmAhGerd
Haha. I want tall lady hot.
Emmepathic
This was literally my excuse for not transitioning for 15 years. I knew when I was 19, like I *knew*. It only took a faceapp pic to convince me that I'd prefer to look like a woman, no matter if I was ugly or not. Also 2 years into hrt, having started at 35, I see a woman in the mirror now, I fully believe that hrt is freaking magic.
LezBeeatrice
tzahtman
I wonder what the statistics are for this situation. The few times I've seen it come up on Imgur it would appear that 100% of partners go gay/bi for the transitioning person, which I doubt is accurate. I think it is beautiful that they're going to share the experience together but I imagine it isn't always how it works out.
ThatOtherGirlYouKnow
Love, uh, finds a way.
PJVeddersGirl
My ex is transitioning. I don't know if it was because our relationship wasn't as strong as others, maybe, but I wasn't able to continue being with her. We had "lesbian trysts" I guess you could call them when she was cross dressing (rather than living fully as a woman, as now). But I knew I ultimately wanted to be with a man. However, there was much more to it than that which meant realistically we wouldn't have lasted either way.
GlitterBiscuits
I was always a little queer, but when my partner started her transition, it made me realize that I really was a lesbian all along, just afraid to admit it. Our relationship has only gotten stronger, and we've been able to understand one another better because she's now on the right hormones for *her*. Sadly, this is not often the case (which only proves that sexuality *isn't* a choice, but suppressing it is), so it never ceases to make me overly happy when couples can make it work through it.
Elnauriel
From my experience in the trans support group I attend, there are many instances of spouses becoming uncomfortable with their trans partner changing gender. "They're not the person I married." This often creates tragic consequences for the trans spouse; either live with dysphoria for the rest of your life or transition and lose your spouse, and maybe children, in the process. No win scenario, sadly.
catsaregroundowls
I understand there's going to be a grieving process for the person that was before, even though they have always been that person and transgender, but I personally would be very uncomfortable because of my own gender and would probably get a divorce. I imagine that from the perspective of the trans person, after grief occurred, there'd be a lot of relief and mixed emotions.
Elnauriel
For many of my friends in the support group going through that, the deciding factor was usually how willing the partner was to be supportive and remain as a friend, if no longer a partner. Support and friendship go a long way, even if the marriage dissolves.
catsaregroundowls
Yeah I think that would be sort of the medium for me. I love my husband and I could love him as a woman, but not romantically anymore. And I'd respect if someone wanted space, too, because honestly some people need to grieve with closure and not have a huge, drawn out gradient of separation. Transitioning isn't immediate and takes time and the dynamics in the relationship might shift. Thanks for honoring my thoughts.
Vikingtransgirl
HRT is the tits! It's pretty scary in the initial lead up but it's pretty amazing. Just remember, a transition is a marathon not a sprint. Results are measured over years. Do not compare yourself to girls that already were passing twinks when they started HRT. Get stuffed animals, they help with the sudden onset emotions. Expect to cry at random things.
UnoriginalPieceOfRepeatingShit
Surely HRT makes the tits no?
EmmAhGerd
Also I creeped on your profile. You’re beautiful.
Vikingtransgirl
Thank you very much! I started HRT at 31 and was 6'0 so had lots and lots of hang-ups and insecurities. So keep in mind my picture is a few years of estrogen and good angles. It is Never Ever too late to start.
EmmAhGerd
Oh god. That’s a huge fear. I’m calm cool and collected constantly. I’m called emotionless pretty frequently. It’s clear to my wife I’m just repressing them so that’s part of the reason I’m cautious. My job depends on me being cool.
Heninthefoxden
Can I tell you some advice? As a woman, I am not very emotional. My job also depends on me being collected. But I have learned over years that it's okay to just say how you feel and cry a little with the right people at work. Acknowledging your emotions actually makes you stronger and more empathic at work and in life .
Heninthefoxden
Don't apologize or be embarrassed for feeling more strongly than you used to, about anything. It's all part of the ride!
ADDGirl
From what I saw my friend go through, at first it was literally like puberty. Randomly emotional, getting snippy with her mom, it was a little like she was 13 again. You'll find a way to overcome.
EmmAhGerd
Haha. That’s what I’ve heard. Actually somewhat excited for that because I largely don’t feel. Just worried.
Elnauriel
Can confirm. HRT is like Hobbit breakfast; we've had one puberty, yes, but what about second puberty? As many have said though (and I can attest to), HRT can take years before the changes finally settle. It's slow, so slow that at times, you'd swear it isn't working! And individual results will vary. Some trans people get lucky with spectacular results while others, not so much. But so long as your quality of life is improving, you're moving in the right direction. =)
moricai
6 foot woman with broad shoulders? You just described half of imgur's fetish.
[deleted]
[deleted]
EmmAhGerd
You’ll always have jerks.
FellaWithUmbrella
Vokrent
Mmmmm baby
blaghart
yea sounds like my sister. My entire family are huge people, proof:
PosthumousExile
Fr, i have a weakness for amazonian looking women who could crush me like a bug
inevermadeone
Candyside
Present
zephyrbell
I'm a woman, and whenever I make female characters ton Conan roleplay, they're tall, wide, and thiccc. Every. Single. Man. Hits on my characters. You're gonna be okay <3
zephyrbell
Ton = in ***
a0b1
I'm 6'6" and have been told by many women i would look great in a dress. Very cis man, who does not want to shave his legs, but sure. Pretty sure OP looks great in a dress as well
DocTanner
Strong girl, farm?
Ryebread91
The other half just don't know it yet.
drbloodbathmc
Obligatory “Snu Snu” joke
InkyBlinkyPinkyAndClyde
My aunt is big like that and found it's generally a turn-off to men. I think imgur is pretty niche in finding it attractive. But OP has a partner already so won't have the problems my aunt had.
Kittynomnoms
I think it depends on the overall shape, but I also think that kind of thing is more interesting to newer generations where sex is often less taboo and you're not expected to like a rather specific set of things and nothing else.
a0b1
Aunt still single? 🤔
InkyBlinkyPinkyAndClyde
Well her husband recently died, so sadly yes. But she's in her 60s and not looking. :/
GreaseMonkeyOfLove
Only half? I thought we had a higher percentage than that.
kadac00
There's dozens of us gif
spinballwizardmtg
Same logic as the 2% that want Katee Sackhoff to sit on their faces. The number is larger than statistics show.
EmmAhGerd
Haha. One of the things I’m afraid of is the attention! I just wanna be a woman alone with my woman!
thebozworth
I'm a 6'1" broadshouldered, broad hipped 100% CIS woman and it don't matter. When I dress up, I wear 3" heals (if I can find them!) because, why not? I'm already one of the tallest in the room. Own it!
hannahbutnotreally
Shoulders back, head high. Us tall girls have to stick together and lift our short queen sisters up.
hannahbutnotreally
As a fellow 6" lady, I can tell you you're going to get attention. Some of it nice, usually from other ladies, some of it crass (snu-snus), from everyone under the sun and some of it downright gross and occasionally threatening, usually from short men. Good luck, and don't let anyone talk you out of wearing your pumps because it makes you "too" tall. That's dumb. Love you.
FormerlySable
The size 13 shoes part (you mean men’s 13s, right?) is going to be the real nightmare. I’m a woman with size 11/12 feet, & it sucks finding good shoes that fit that don’t cost a bazillion dollars.
DrPepper523
Not to detract from this but there is a King of the Hill episode about this. Peggy's shoe size is rather large, she finds a place with a bunch, drag queens think she's one of them and invite her out and everyone's having a great friendly time and then she realizes. Still friends tho, she's just confused at first. Popped in my head and I thought I'd share
LateNightBunnyParty
Hate to break it to you, but constant attention is part and parcel with being a woman. WELCOME TO LADYHOOD! Practice your constant vigilance strategies until they're second nature.
SJBSavageInk
Probably twice as dangerous for a trans woman honestly. Cause hate crimes. They'll probably still rape you but are less likely to leave you alive... at least they're big though so are less likely to attract that particular type of coward.
RoboUnicornFishBalls
SJBSavageInk
I mean, it's true though. The type of people that would attack a woman are cowards. They're gonna go for the easiest targets.
EmmAhGerd
Thank you for the welcome! Good and bad!
Gwenx
Everytime i see a new lady in the making, tall, broad shoulders, i smile to them, and i wish i could give them a hug and tell them how beautiful i find them and how proud/inspired i get by them.. I understand tthat its hard, it can be vunerable, and when u look in the mirror its not the dream look yet, but it takes time, and youll get there and youll be so much happier just in the right clothes and makeup!
Gwenx
Im not trans myself but, i did wish i could change my look or overall expression most of my life, its not the same but i have struggled to find a look where i was comfortable, i still havent found it, but i feel better now then did just 6 years ago! (I have been, a pretty girl, tomboy ish, fancy/buisness, dressy, emo/goth ish, super slack.. I just found that i wasent comfortable in anything but a t-shirt tucked down in my long pants.. The Bi look im told, so it fits me haha!)