Secret Santa 2016

Lassannn Delievers

So I found out I got matched with @Lassannn a few days ago. Apparently, everyone hates him for being a front page troll that makes up stories for free points. I figured I'd jump on that band wagon, post what he got me, and hope for free fake internet poitns too.

That bastard

Bubble wrap, really poorly packaged bubble wrap, that's it? I hate you @Lassannn

Oh wait

A note, taped to the bubble wrap, and maybe more below

Get what you ask for, sort of

So I asked for just random things for Secret Santa, mostly just cause opening things is fun.

A 'historical' note

It reads - "Dear Sir, I have been shown in the emails of Imgur a statement of Martyn Mage ( @MartynMage ) that you are the lover of random geekery, shapr, point things, and muffins.
I feel how weak and fruitless must be any word of mine which should attempt to beguile you from the grief of a gift so paltry as this. But I cannot refrain from tendering to you the consolation of the giraffe you freed from the box.
I pray that @Sarah may assuage the anguish of your bereavement and leave yuo only the cherished memory of the incense, and the solomn pride that msut be yours to have been paired with the most hated Imgurian in history." @'s added for effect.

Well I said I did

I mean everyone likes muffins, right?

Lemon Poppyseed

My favorite how'd he know? Not sure about this lacking artificial colors/flavors though...

I hope these are in the right order

But yeah really, I like muffins.

These muffins have cranberries

That is all.

These ones don't have cranberries.

Double Chocolate

Doesn't that make this a cupcake?

Random bag of what feels like wires..

My post office delivered this with out question, they might hate me.

Bits

So it's a 200mm fan, a hold down plate for a heat sink i dont have, some modular cables, for a power supply I don't have. A 8 pin pci-e extender I don't need, and what looks like a cd-audio cable from the 90's.

Sharp/Pointy things

First, these are offensively potent smelling. They smell like every incense shop you've ever walked passed condensed into stick form. They also say 'pussy' on them.

Note reads - "You said you like sharp, pointy things, so I figured the best thing for you was some pussy"

More incense

Not really sure why, but there's more. A life time supply I'm sure.

Note reads "More sharp, pointy things"

A giraffe

As promised earlier in the 'historical' letter, a giraffe. Now freed from the box. This will probably end up on my desk at work, identifying me to all as someone that doesn't work enough while at work.

You bastard

The note reads "Use this to open the box." it was covering the white handled knife. It was also buried at the very bottom of the box, under everything else. The other knife in the picture is the one I had on hand to open the box with. It's a letter opener, don't judge.

The haul

Displayed in all it's glory, the haul of my Secret Santa 2016. Hope everyone else gets something at least as entertaining.