iwillsimpforcats
218318
12609
274
Jul 5, 2016 10:15 AM
iwillsimpforcats
218318
12609
274
Orion1248
.....and then we get the jews.....
Wuddel
As a German: Get back to work, making memes is not efficient.
plainoldfool
Martina Hill is pretty damn funny
9gagforlife
This is pretty dry humour.
AlpheusSoar
As a German i disagree. I just don't like german sausages, they are the wurst :V
WhereDidMyBananasGo
How do German people shower? We actually offer our showers to the jews first.
666scav
[Something about Hitler's shower]
AFKogi
True German would have gotten it done it 3 frames.
RandAIFlagg
I love that German humor is about how humorless they are
AgamemnonsMemes
Germans have great humour. It just comes after all the work is done.
DatToni
AND ZE WORK IS NEVA DONE!
ninjagaidensigma
McBook
Never.
brickkpunchley
In my experience, the Germans have humor, they just have a terrible love for puns that translate very poorly.
McBook
Yeah, but that's sausage to me
TheGerm4nGuy
matchstickmetropolis
There were zwei peanuts walking down the strasse. One of them was assaulted. Peanut.
skydivingbigfoot
Proper use of a shower is a relatively new development for Germans
TheMovieGalaxyQuest
The fuck you mean, our showers were so great people came in trains
skydivingbigfoot
Okay, you win. Damn.
ineptusMechanicus
I love Germans
lifestooshorttothinkofusernames
The are happy about it unconfortable about their response in regards to your love..
ineptusMechanicus
Oh that's not true......
TwitchFox
"First we get nice and... why isn't there water coming out of the shower head?"
Kaeru34
It's German humor guys. This is no laughing matter
badwolfandtheoncomingstorm
Once again, I find I wish I could favorite comments.
Riddiculous
I love you dad
kamosey
Like their bread, their humor is very rye.
ProvidesYouShittyLinks
truly, truly rye
ScrawnyAssling
I will hear no more lies about ze German people! Sie werden sich hinsetzen! Sie werden ruhig sein! Sie werden deutschland nicht beleidigen!
struuunz
Nicht schlecht Herr Specht
BreadyStinellis
Is no one going to mention what a handsome mother fucker this guy is?
smellyboots
How many Germans does it take to change a light bulb? --- Just one, they're efficient and not very funny.
vjven
None. If it's a German bulb, it doesn't need changing
LtCmdrJo
Except the correct answer is: "9, because many Hans make light work."
papertraveller
Oh man that is great
ilikewobbleboards
What? Not even a little ball sniff?
weefaerie
ew, is that something guys do? sniff your ball stink?
Dominian
Yes and chicks who don't do it stink down there sometimes without realizing it.
ninjagaidensigma
Only when you haven't bathed in a couple of days to measure the amount of funk and subsequent urgency to clean.
rainb0w0range
Only if we are paid several milions to train other milionaires to chase a ball, and lots of people are watching...
Attaroo
Then we invade Poland. Germans love to invade Poland. They are silly that way.
TrapsAreIllegal
Now we just sleep with their women.
LadyWidebottom
They were invited, punch was served. Check with Poland!
LoonyBoBdammitwhotookmyname
NOTHING HAPPENED
techley
Oh god I'm half german and my girlfriend is polish I'm going to say this tonight
VindictiveRidge
This will either be the most awkward sex, or the most awesome sex!
RectalTheory
Then they have something in common with USSR and russian.
flawlesssoul
Bitches love invasions.
skwint
Complain about Jews, abandon old treaties, invade Poland. In the UK we complain about the Poles, abandon old treaties and invade ... hmmm
skwint
Maybe we should have a referendum about who to start a war with?
LadyWidebottom
This reminds me of the "gay bar" clip that was popular in the early 2000's.
VindictiveRidge
I suspect Scotland, Ireland, Wales, and England would each vote to go to war with one or all of the others. For old times' sake.
LeadPrick
Dummkopf shall be my favorite word of the day
ninjagaidensigma
Be sure to pronounce it correctly: It's more like "doom" than "dumb" with the "oo" sound pronounced slightly faster.
otiumCatulli
make Donald dummkopf again!
Mulan404Assassin
Was waiting for this joke +1
IronicUsername
I love that "dumb head" is a common insult in German.
McBook
English has "dimwit"
ProvidesYouShittyLinks
"wichser" =wanker Is also a common insult
Benji9563
Top sitcom in German, Winfried and Heimlich. You see, Winfried is very productive, whilst Heimlich, you see, is very very productive
GoldLuckeGuenstigesGold
It ist so funny wenn Heimlich tells Winfried nicht to stop the work!
Vipertooth
I see...
[deleted]
[deleted]
MrMarmalade88
So "stealthy move" can save someone from choking?
Benji9563
Drats, I just thought "Heimlich manoeuvre" and wrote in a panic
GlenallenMixon
Also Winfried isn't a common cliché name, it's either Wilfried or Friedrich.Other cliché names are: Wilhelm, Otto, Walter, Hans, Ernst, Karl
chemenger8
Manfred, perhaps? Like Manfred von Richthofen?
GlenallenMixon
That's acceptable.
ChaoticScholar
Thank you Baron
seloh77
Wow ... is this a funny joke about not being funny !?!
ThePinkMan
You sir, just got downvote out of your own ignorance and profligacy! Enjoy life in Oblivion(Commenter Edition).
heatmaster28
I feel bad about that you've been downvoted, and no one's explained anything. It's a reference from How I Met Your Mother. Season 8, I think
striketwo
Very efficient
SingleNiceFedoraWearingClassyGuycautiondonotfriendzone
Except he didn't use soap or shampoo?
Tellyb0228
They probably wipe down the whole bathroom afterwards too.
TheQuackenbirdt
PRECISION GERMAN ENGINEERING
AFKogi
True German would have gotten it done it 3 frames.
FoxyEllie
nah, that would leave one frame blank. It is more efficient to not waste resources.
OSCgal
Well, it's the only version that makes it to the drying-off stage.
Dramacian
Where is the beer ? And the Luftwaffe ? And the Blitzkrieg ? And the wurtz ? And the kartoffel ? Und die krankenhaus ?
skelitor120
Sounds like somebody took year-one German!
JayDelCor
das Krankenhaus.
Dramacian
Das... sorry... micht bad... wait no... mein... ach !!!!!
rainb0w0range
AUTOBAHN, mein Fräulein! Sauerkraut im Rucksack. Einhandmischbatterie!
iredh
Und einen Apfelstrudel!
Eisegreis
Wurtz? Wurst? And "das" Krankenhaus. D'uh. It's so simple, really. :P
MydeslyxiasFunnyToMe
Where's the 99 luftballons?
Dramacian
Someone downvoted you for the luftballon... Here's a point back for this amazing song.
ScoreQuest
They're fliegen über the Horizont
MarshallDaemon
Höffentlich kein Krankenhaus...
SignHerePlease
Expected something way darker
ShakerGER
gas perhaps? :)
Erveli
Some one should do how jewish people shower...
slappy11
"Forty you get ask nice and wet. Then you turn a the gas!"
stalewaffles
Then we get the jews
leorex
That's interesting. The German shower videos in my collection are all quite golden.
LongoloidFartExplosion
*Golden brown.
Fuzzynubz
Coffee brain took a second too long to get it and that made it that much better. +1 pervert
Elven91
+1 gg
Agent
Then we turn on the zyklon bottles...
Scaramucci
You know, he didn't specify what the soap is made of...
codpeace
Haha I know, reich?
DoctorSquadIceDragon
Omfg
MakeMeACakeOrGrillMeASteak
"Then we get the gas masks"
whitesquare
You misspelled "the Jews."
MakeMeACakeOrGrillMeASteak
"Then we get the The Jews masks" I'm Sorry
AnthropomorphicMilkshake
As a German, I have nothing funny to say.
thecabagethatjeremyclarksoneatsinS21EO3ofTopGear
A young Jew is looking threw some ashes on the ground. Hitler walks by and asks, "who are you looking for"
thecabagethatjeremyclarksoneatsinS21EO3ofTopGear
The difference between Harry Potter and Jews is that Harry could escape the chamber
Nikolumsen
Going to Germany for a month next week and being a guy who likes to joke around I'm really concerned if I can make any new friends at all.
KarlNapf
Ich auch nicht.
Croaks
German humor is no laughing matter.
UncleGus
Where did you get that preposterous hypothesis?
TK421isAFK
That's hilarious!
Germankipp
I second that
DDDEATH45
vot did one wurst say to ze ozer? nozing, because wurst cant talk.
DanielHanke
Let me add nothing here as well. Grüße
IdeaOfLove
You're funny.
starscape678
Actually, we also use shampoo. Deodorant too, very important.
Cheawing
RadioactiveCanuck
I have nothing funny to reply with. *Grunts Germanically.*
AnthropomorphicMilkshake
How do you grunt germanically? "Ja ja ich habe nichts zu sagen grunz"
KtotheUZGandaUn
I'm assuming "Nein Hitler Sauerkraut Losing World Wars Being Left Alone In Charge Of An Entire Union In Debt"
stufdptato
+1 for FOTC
TheSkeletonWar
As a Dutch, gimme back my grandpa's bike.
ElTbonesteak
Genau.
prometheus48
"A sausage maker buys a box of cereal."
malachitekell
German humor is no laughing matter.
imalittleshifty
Boom boom
JeepersMedia
agermanguy
Where was this from o forgot?
Yeahnoibet
I'm pretty sure this is from the movie The Producers
lordofthedice
Springtime for Hitler and Germany. Winter for Poland and France!
13thDukeofWybourne
Hast du denn keine gute Witze? Vielleicht einen Auschwitz? (so sorry)
ITSMRTORGUEYELLINGSTUFF
That joke was... Führerious *sunglasses"
Kushthegreat
I think it's hitlarious.
pandro
I've never seen someone post a joke that "won't work" in another language. with a translate I got the "joke." thanks for that!!
DatToni
DON'T MAKE FUN OF AUSCHWITZ, MY GRANDFATHER DIED IN THEIR! .... he fell down the watchtower drunken :/
Elmarrr
Zufällig heute in Deutsch gehört.. Das war besser. Oh, und there*^
DatToni
Er ist auch besser in Deutsch, vor allem wenn der Erzähler es glaubwürdig rüber bringt. xD
CyoCyo
.
rezpawner
After translating that, I gotta say, that's the best Auschwitz joke I have ever seen. Also, the only good one.
TygrF
Yeah, it's a real gasser...
David21lva
There are no good jokes about Auschwitz. My grandfather died there.... He fell out of the guard tower... EYYYYY
13thDukeofWybourne
Oh man, the 1st time I heard that one I must have laughed like an idiot.
cptkipard
Don't leave everyone hanging.
DenmarkMoreLikeDankmark
"Do you not have any good jokes? Perhaps an Auschwitz?"
rezpawner
It turns out that "Witze" means "jokes". So it's a play on words.
Britich
You not going to tell the joke about the travelling salesman sitting down in a cafe?
frobert
NEIN NEIN NEIN NEIN
Billis75
https://youtu.be/tQlRX3nK0ww
AnthropomorphicMilkshake
Nein
itseasybutton
Helen Keller walked into a bar. And then a chair. And then a table.
AbstractBettaFish
Will YOU tell it?
Britich
Thats actually the joke, he comes into the cafe and sits down.
C4Vi
Bor anyone wondering: That's a anti-joke. (random fact spewing)
TK421isAFK
Bore, indeed.
TACOARMYWILLRISEANDGETYOURASSKICKED
TygrF
Sehr gut! Der klapper izt German!