UpvoteGenerator
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Feb 18, 2024 4:27 AM
UpvoteGenerator
70998
918
80
GravyEducation
Farting on the meal is not a waste
FeloniousMonk13
Keep a jar handy for next time
DippinDerps
Shit. Yell for him to get in there. You just got done baking brownies!
fartharder
Tupperware
LariCheltsy
Turn the oven on and Crack the door. Spreads it real nice.
trayal
One of the rare positive side effects of my colon cancer is that, due to all of the related surgeries and treatments messing around with gut functions, I tend to get some gas buildup during the day that can't fully unload until I lay down. Consequently, I regularly greet the Mrs. with epic dutch ovens when sliding into bed in the evening. I know just how lucky I am that she finds it as hilarious as I do.
CakeIsALie227
My wife did not appreciate my farts this evening
indyjones2010
Honey they were beyond terrible. 😠
Dimension09
You could have put it in a jar
CypherMarz
At least you didn’t get out of the kitchen. (Jokes jokes)
UpvoteGenerator
That was a good one!
thetinymonarch
Best fart I had was after being constipated for a week. It sounded like a wind tunnel and I felt my gut shrink
UniversalTruth2020
fartharder
Uncontrolled flatulence!?
imyourrealdad
Should have done it in a ziplock and put it in his lunchbox.
an0therthr0waway
relationship goals. <3
HoboKingNiklz
This is some true love right here. I want what y'all have.
UpvoteGenerator
16 years and going strong with three kids and a fourth in 2 years. :)
PeebRow
Wrong meme, should have used Flatulence Fowl
TheCunningLinguists
The3rdwheel
ive farted in another room and 10 mins later my wife walked in there and started heaving.. i was very proud of that lingering fart
LucidPariah
I had the opposite of that yesterday. Dropped one so hard in the kitchen my wife angrily yelled What!? From the living room 😁
ExquisiteConundrum
🤣🤣🤣🤣 I nearly shot coffee from my nose. I can totally see this happening in my house.
Gwenx
My dad liked to gass me all the time, he was good at the silent but deadly, when we had to go grocery shopping he would fart right before we paid so everyone had to stand there dying from his fumes lol! It was embarrassing, but fun!
TiddyMcGillicuddy
Sorry. Sometimes the best toots are premature.
Audasity
i had to ask my wife if she was posting on imgur
Munchman347
'Uh, Honey, did you used Durian in the Soup?'...
Roqinn
I had a great one one time! I was in the bedroom with the wife, she was on the phone with her sister. I went into the bathroom to let it out. It was so loud and long that the wife started laughing her ass off. I could even hear her sister laughing on the phone and then ask "Was that a fart?!?" I busted out laughing too.
brendino87
Should have cropdusted throughout the house
FreelanceSpermDonor
abidelunacy
"Hello boys, I'm back!!!:
LetsEatGrandpaCommasSaveLives
shiftingbits
“We have lift off!”
Aeonika
Damn it. You hold that like it's gold and skitter over to deliver the goods.
METROlD
I used to fart on my son all the time and he thought it was funny. Today I went to fart on him and he ran away and hid behind his mom. Almost cried. Farts used to be cool. Now they are traumatic. Kids are so fickle.
nigglemaster
My wife farted on my son. He said "ew," and spanked her.
jesuisgur
Do the granpa trick: "Oh my leg, I've got a cramp, help me, pull my leg, braaaAAAAATTTTTttttt..." It helps set the mood first...
kwyjiboner
Premature flatulation. No wonder your husband is sniffing other butts.
skylardarkfox
Stalse fart.
eoyorre
Should of called him in and asked if he smelled popcorn
nogodsnomastersnopanties
A few weeks ago I came home from work and went into the bathroom and there was this humongous turd coiled up in the toilet. I went to my flatmate and was like "flush your fucking shit you nasty bitch!" and she informed me she was so proud of it she wanted to show it to me. We proceed to spend about 5 minutes looking at it and discussing it. It really was quite amazing. I ended up pissing in the tub so we didn't have to flush it right away. Best flatmate I've ever had.
stereomiljac8888
Pics?
MaxieMooo
This is one of the most disgusting comments i've read in a while. I'm glad you had fun, you absolute goblin
jaggcomputing5
This is probably the most delightfully disgusting post in a long time. I am sure that in the future men will sit around camp fires and sing songs about it.
LucidPariah
Dimension09
DocWino
Should have rescued it and bronzed it for posterity. “What the hell is that? “, “biggest shit I ever made, you can almost taste the smell still”
Skr121
As soon as you bronze it, you'll beat it and have to convince the metallurgy guy to bronze a 2nd turd.
CowboyRooster
FrankensteinsMonstersSweatyBallBag
AbsoluteThunderMuppet
Holy shit
Astramancer
One of my core memories from middleschool was one day someone taped a polaroid to one of the stall doors in the gym mens room, and that polaroid was of an absolutely enormous turd and captioned "The Leviathan." Sometimes you just gotta preserve the legacy.
rwmattShaper
All of us have some version of a Super power.
ErniesWidow