TheyCallMeStitches
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Jan 12, 2017 9:18 PM
TheyCallMeStitches
83401
1363
157
Cammo353
Thanks @OP, cleared up those hiccups and got that vomit out!
Ifyoureadthisihadintercoursewithyourentirefamily
The day aftEAR tomorrow (it's cheap I know)
AGirlNamedFred
ilovecosmetics
MaryTylerDintyMoore
redginger2286
Jesus holy mother Mary of Christ!! How do you even stay still for that..
batmanssecretfantasy
irvgaudi
Fuck off ok?!
TimeAndMemeLordOfGallifrey
MattReigns
Fucking flick it off their ear instead of holding the camera, you ignorant cunt.
texangel7
Time to set that ear on fire.
Totsmacgee
The other day I woke up to my fiancé smacking me. I stopped my rage when I saw his hand was covered in spider guts.
MadMikes
That's spider's new home is this guy's butt.
leawettmann
Shouldn't the advice be to not clean your ears so nothing can get in?
redginger2286
Jesus holy mother mary christ!! How do you even stay still for that..
IJustLikeToArgue
They ded
FckMyAssholeWithYourBlood
Frontpage gogogogogogoggogogogogogogogogogo fucking go man
HyperdeemicNerdal
Right?! We shouldn't be the only ones to suffer!
FireWokWithMe
Why don't they grab it??? They just let it sit there after it comes out!!
Dev2020
Arkvoodle
I mean, it is a jumping spider. He was probably just making sure nothing else was in there.
DJSK1D
Seriously. So few people know these are completely harmless. I played with them when I was a kid.
Rathal0n
Spiderbro! :3
TiredOfMyUsernameBeingMyActualNameSoIChangedIt
I know what's gonna happen but I have to watch it anyway
HyperdeemicNerdal
Me: whyamiwatchingwhyamiwatchingwhyamiwatchWHHAAARRRRGGGHWHYAMIWATCHINGWHYAMIWATCHINGNOPE!!!!!!!!
DamnAutocorrelation
Soooo... Ima just wear earplugs like 24/7 now, cheers for that @op
rainmakerab
What?
Thereminista
I had a beetle in my ear. They are STRONG, have hook-like claws, and can't back up. He tore the shit out of my ear canal and drowned... 1/2
Thereminista
2/2 ...in my blood. Horrible. The doc that gently coaxed the spider out did well. Avoided a potential spider-bite by not using forceps.
adaquo
:0
peanutbutterpopcorn
:O
Zultharr
Silymnd
Grab it omg grab it!!!
BanGurHeaD
Omg
imreallyjusthereforthecats
Badgersbadgersbadgersbadgersbadgers
WeaponizedCrumbs
Mushroom MUSHROOM!
MagnusTheRedCyclops
Did.. Did that Badger just jump of a cliff..?
prispris27
.
Zultharr
...he's ok.
ninjaplan
Someone reverse this gif!
krazeeguitarist
.
PloppyTheSlopper
Fuck off! Who do I see about having both of my ears surgically removed? I want to minimise the risk of that ever happening to me.
EarthTourist
google the Van Gogh Institute
HyperdeemicNerdal
Hmm? Pardon? I've had my ears surgically removed to minimise the risk of this ever happening to me.
wellwellwelllookwhoscomecrawlingback
The holes will still be there. I think you mean fill them in.
PloppyTheSlopper
Good point, I'll cut my ears off and then cement fill in the gaping holes that are left. Better to be on the safe side.
buttmagic
CRAWLINGGGGG INNNNN MY SKIIINNNNN
ifistandroidgirls
*ear*
TheHolyPotato0
Imagine it laid 1000 eggs...
DarthFluffy1
combatananana
you gave me the biggest laugh of my day so far
devasto
These wounds they will no-WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT?! IS THAT COMING OUT OF THEIR EAR?!?!?
lordofhouselurker
I think I just shat myself
Justrememberdontblink
That would be a spider. Kind of looks like a jumping spider but what do I know.
TinyPhoenix
I saw an ear and jumped straight to comments. Thank you sir. I'll skip to next post and sleep well tonight!
TheMershedPerderder
THE NOPE IS IN AN EARRRRRRR
MurrToTheMurr
SWAAAAALOWIIING HIS KIIIIIIN
MurrToTheMurr
IS THAAAT WHY HEEEEE IS THEEEEREEE?
BadSpellersOfTheWorldUntie
Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaàaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
BadSpellersOfTheWorldUntie
Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaàaaaaaaaaasssasaaaaaaas
BadSpellersOfTheWorldUntie
*breathe*
BadSpellersOfTheWorldUntie
AaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaAaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
annbrnikol
Same
thunderpant
AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
MaryTylerDintyMoore
Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
mabas9395
But how do you get the eggs that she laid out?
livingamonotonouslife
We wait for them to hatch....
KentuckyFriedChildren
AGENTLEGITNETH
Blowtorch?.....yup....blowtorch it is
dav3nasty
.22 or larger fired through the ear
lahdidah
You couldn't just leave it at that could you?
scampbellucf
Autopsy
HyperdeemicNerdal
Cause of death: self immolation
KentuckyFriedChildren
TacoPrime
Only fire will cleanse the body
NotABadLookingNarcissist
https://imgur.com/4oXFJTv
lahdidah
You couldn't just leave it at that could you?
thedarknesssurroundsme
Decapitation
YouHaveSomethingInYourTeeth
HyperdeemicNerdal
LonLonRanch
I was just showing clips of this special too my gf today. Still one of my favorite stand up specials.
HyperdeemicNerdal
Both Raw and Delerious are great shows. It's been a while since I saw either but I remember loving the bit about Bill Cosby phoning him up.
flassk
that's a male spider.
luckyflavor23
How can youbtell?
bananahungryseawolf
spider dick
flassk
ratio of abdomen to thorax. female spiders have larger backsides to accomodate the eggs.
bananahungryseawolf
spider dick
AngrySlaveASlaveStill
Wait for them to pop and repeat procedure. Suicide by immolation might be a better solution though.
wobbu
fun fact burning to death is the most painful way to die. ever.
jtb1313
How about that guy who got trapped upside down in a cave and after 20 hours he died
JohnnyTitelips
False. Watching "Friday" by Rebecca Black is.