TheJokerHasGreenPubes
43014
1277
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Sep 19, 2016 5:04 PM
TheJokerHasGreenPubes
43014
1277
74
thecuteocalypseishere
#13 well, i'd argue vomiting can be contagious if it's gross enough
gottalovewastingtime
Orgasms being contagious would be alright
W33DGOD
#13 Imagine if everytime someone pretended to take a dump everyone just felt a sudden weight in their colon
NotMichaelAtAll
#20 only if you use it all at once
thebiglechowski
Ugh it hate sitting on a toilet and feeling someone else's butt heat. Esp since I live alone
Spidey209
I like the Sasquatch one the best.
Surgas
Amazing that we trust our lives to paint on the roads
TygrF
Too many people in this world to not have clearly demarcated boundaries.
Dragonogh
Ones like #1 are just dumb jokes. I hate the idea that stuff like those are, "cool, unusual thoughts".
ConsumerOfStories
#7 I mean, I can reconsider if you like...
WeAreTheNSA
Would you please?
FlightRisk3154
Sure, just make it exciting and fun
LordOfTheDownvotes
Twizzlers are cherry though
TheGladio
Cleaning my skeleton
Roland4343
*Samsquanch
lolsosauras
These... I like these =) Would love to see more!
ourLordJebus
#1 + #13 would make for much more entertaining poker tournaments (from an observers point of course, god help the participants)
InspectorCock
Chemical warfare sounds like a good tactic to use to break others' concentration and spirit at the poker table.
PersonaAuGratin
I assume all skulls with pronounced supraorbital ridges and large nuchal crests are male.
Lickycat
#7 My friend Joey, (now in prison for murder) confessed to me that he was going to kill me, but decided not to because we became friends.
eromitlab
#17 Did you just assume my bones' gender OMFG TRIGGERED
TheRaiderofRandom
#2 Depends. If you get the planning right there are no survivors.
catsofat
#7 is so real! Like who wonders while driving how many people you pass by that have killed someone ever also?
GreedyJungle
#1 is inaccurate 50% of the time if you aren't deaf.
iamOzymandiasLookOnMyWorksDumbassAndDespair
I definitely crossed paths with a murderer, and he decided it wasn't worth it. I don't think he really would have shot me, where I was.
justaporcupine
#18
willowgods
Vomit is contagious
Zachakx
Who's goal in life is to make as many people sad as possible? Quit messing things up for people. :|
TygrF
Not been to many funerals, I take it?
Zachakx
Makes sense in that context but I wouldn't say that's my particular goal in life but very well.
ShiroiKarei
First one would have been funnier if it said "no one would know who dealt it"
ToxicPineapple
The one who smelt it, durh.
morithum
*dealed
ThunderChief00
He who smeeled it dealed it
morithum
Dealted it*
EcstaticBagel
Why assume all skulls are male tho?
fluorescentevanescence
THE PATRIARCHY!
HorseradishIsNotAnInstrumentEither
So what are those? Attack helicopters?
TygrF
Don't like thinking about dead women.
cufa
There's no reason, one just does it.
CorneliusCornwall
Because dead men tell no tales
Teslacshox1
Yeah dead women won't hush.
illegalacorn
male disposability
jiira
#12 is true only if the hour hand has dropped off and it has one which shows seconds.
TheJokerHasGreenPubes
Have you not seen a second hand on a clock?
HenryGR
The thing that bothers me about that one is that RPM is NOT a speed measure unit.
jiira
Well speed is magnitude of velocity which is rate of change of position and it applies to rotational position, so it sorta is speed measure.
jiira
Although angular speed, but nevertheless.
HenryGR
It is a frequency measurement unit.
HenryGR
RPM and rotational or angular speed are directly proportional. But as a unit, 1 RPM does not stand for speed itself. You cannot 2/3
HenryGR
convert it to another speed measurement units. Therefore, it is a different kind of unit. 3/3
HenryGR
Sorry for not explaining. I was on he street and I forgot to add an explanation later. RPM can be related to speed. eg: you can say 1/?
originalBabewiththePower
I have been saying the same thing about #4 for years! It actually infuriates me.
thecuteocalypseishere
Some people repurpose them as lube dispensers. Dunno if that makes you feel better.
originalBabewiththePower
It does..I guess.
cinnamonstyck
If my hands are all chicken-y and goopy from breading raw chicken, I don't want to grab the soap pump and get it all gross, too.
mallywanders
I for one am glad for every instance I'm which I am saved from touching another person's poop.
tardis63
It still reduces the number of surfaces you touch, which can't hurt
curiouscorgs
My 6yo cousin was born with only one arm. His one hand is too little to work the pump and catch the soap, so the auto dispenser is perfect.
originalBabewiththePower
In that instance it makes sense.
RichterCa
Or people who won't touch the toilet handle, like, you're going to wash your hands in 10 seconds.
bobbi21
Same argument goes for wiping your butt with your hands instead of toilet paper for the last few wipes. Doubt many people will be fans.
RichterCa
AltEff4
I think about it like if you were handling raw meat, and then touching the pump. Next time I soap, I don't want to put my hand in salmonella
Nitrobskt
But, you are literally going to be washing your hands in 1 second. What does it matter what you touch?
cinnamonstyck
At that point it's about the yuck you leave on the soap pump. Its going to keep sitting there yucky after you touched it, ew, raw pork germs
WhatsInANameMeByAnyOtherNameWouldBeJustAsLonely
Because bacteria has this horrible habit of multiplying and colonies growing.
bobbi21
Because people often don't hand wash correctly and spots can get missed. Especially with hand sanitizers
bobbi21
Sorry realized we're talking specifically soap dispensers. 1st point still stands.
Nitrobskt
Unless you're calling yourself out for bad hand washing, you shouldn't have anything to worry about though.
cinnamonstyck
Perhaps there are children in your life or other people who might not wash their hands as good as they should.