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JupitersWitch
The last company I worked for would sign you up for spam without your permission. They can totally get away with it too.
ElMexicutioner
Reasonably sized dump; didn't spend hours of work this time!
docweird
#1 is getting ready for a date with Captain Kirk, eh?
GamermanRPGKing
suprisingly havent seen many of these
MajesticCheese
#1 used her lush product wrong that's why you turn pink silly goose
jellydonut
She looks perfect if she's trying to be an extra in Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2
CommanderWilliamTRiker
London Underground knows what's up. It's really fucking simple. Plan ahead, people!
Pheonix686
That tuborg comment at O2 academies is real af. Bastards even charge you for water now.
randomoverusedcomment
And they make you queue in an alleyway in Brixton
momocanfly1999
What is that blacked out word in #4???
LordDebuchan
That dog shampoo is awesome. It turned their Labrador into a Fabrador.
squishybaker
i like sarcastic and witty customer service agents.
TechPriest97
#5 is having a hard time doing a mass debate
ninmonkey
Mass debate -- when you successfully argue Pluto is a dwarf planet.
wetfeet
Hotpikachusex I choose you!
tablewindowisalamp
Well, is it?
EJ9utah
+1 for pink dog
Sandwich247
My sister works at lush :P
ICantThinkOfAU
Realtalk, the main reason I want a girlfriend again: So I can go back into Lush shops. I need that shit in my life again.
Sandwich247
The stuff is really good. Smells nice, too.
CrazyCatLadyWithNoCat
What the hell is wrong with Tesco?
cattywumpus
Pink dog probably rolled in red mulch, and shampoo faded it to pink. I had a similar situation with a yellow lab and a neighbor's garden.
fairybug
I feel like I am missing the punchline in #1.
RincewindTVD
turns out it was real, misuse of product, should be diluted. Staff not explaining that it's not soap, just looks like it.
UncleGus
It must hurt to be that stupid #14
BeautifulUniqueSnowflake
I'd really like a response from Lush on #1...I use their products a lot
Lostariel93
It was a bath melt. She was rubbing it into her skin which you're not meant to do. They tweeted back explaining and she was just like
Lostariel93
"Yeah i probably should have asked the employee when i bought it"
BeautifulUniqueSnowflake
Damn she didn't miss a spot either lol
AGroupOfPugsIsCalledAGrumble
Many of these are good, but pink dog is by far the best. +1 for pink dog
jevausie
I accidentally dyed my dog pink once. Was trying to turn him purple with koolaid. Water ran blue, he stayed pink. He was happy though.
AGloomyYou
Pink dog and pink girl should start a support group
mrfirebass
i had to stop when i read the upside down pizza and just think, is my life an upside down pizza?
drsquigglenuts
Agreed. I would laugh my ass off when the dog turned pink, but I would be so mad afterwards.
DoubleNubbin
When you say "be so mad" do you mean "immediately buy a years supply of pink dog formula"?
CityYeti
I wanna know why it made the dog pink
ThankGodIts2017
They ended up proving it was fake. The pink girl was real. She forgot to dilute the product.
nicholcm
can you imagine the mass panic at the company when seeing that though
gamblingpoet
Dog looked so happy. Dogs always look so happy. Dogs are the best.
AGrammeIsBetterThanADamn
He's absolutely rockin' the look. He thinks he looks fabulous. Like when my dog thought "skunk" was just "dispenser of awesome cologne"
DinoKebab
Damnnnnn, Royal Mail rekt that guy.
OnePunchFlan3
Great clips gave #7 the Michael Cera
briar147
I was thinking Scott Pilgrim, especially considering he canonically gets a bad haircut.
drickanderson
"am no a grass"
TickleMeFlymo
Basically he wilnae tell the polis
MagicUmbrellas
Is that European for snitches get stitches?
Blarjgrhgajhfjdfldghuihfb
Not exactly the same phrase, but grass means the same as snitch.
Acefowl
He could be lying, and indeed be a grass! We must investigate!
GingerSwan
see u ya wee cunt all knock yer heed en!
NoSleepTilBrooklyn
God, I heard that in my in-laws' guttural Glaswegian and it make me wince.
scurrytime
Ahhhh the scotts, wonderful dialect
MandaloreTheODST
I couldn't help but think of aliens talking about humans dialects when I read that....
NatashaEubank
*Scots
Rossage99
What if he was referring to the dialect of guys called Scott? I hear their words are almost as good as guys named Steve.
Zarkai
Apparently comes from rhyming slang. Grasshopper = Copper so a grass was someone that told the police information.
Zarkai
I say apparently because it's one of those slang terms I've heard all my life but never thought to look up an origin for until now.
Cheomesh
Cockney does that.
greymaria
Cockney does a brain some idiocy-hoisting petard.
Cheomesh
It's pretty clever, I'll admit. Kinda reminds me a little bit of the Darmok episode of TNG...
DEATHHHHH
When the walls fell
CorneliusCornwall
What's Tesco? Are they like the Wal-Mart of the UK? Seems like they sell everything and in their own brand
ThatsMySecretCapImAlwaysHorny
All supermarket chains have their own brand products in the UK. Usually a cheapo brand and a "best" brand, as well as branded products.
TheBigCock
Technically ASDA is the walmart of the UK. They're part of the same company. Tesco's just a different supermarket chain.
RoyalSwish
They're the biggest supermarket chain in the UK
Zak57TR
Where is Tesco from and why do they make only Shampoos and provide cell service?
iKon2000
Tesco is a UK super market that sells pretty much everything
Theresmyothersock
So Tesco is like a Walmart
jellydonut
Sort of, but it's closer to a grocery store. No guns and ammo!
Noodlemanny
No, we haven't really got a equivalent of Walmart here. Because Britain isn't sick like America is. Seriously, Walmart is awful...
TheBigCock
We have lots of different Supermarkets. ASDA is more like Walmart because they're owned by it. But there all the same really.
youhavemail
So Tesco is similar to a target?
Daemoos
yep
LongoloidFartExplosion
If you're judging by customer quality then yes it is.
FindYourChillMate
Kinda but less walmarty in terms of customers
BennyHudson
Sounds like someone has never been to the Asda in Farnborough.
ICantThinkOfAU
Well yeah, but Asda is literally owned by Walmart, so obviously it's gonna have walmarty people, it's just Tesco isn't quite so walmarty
theloneponderer
That may be more to it not being American. *shrug*
SirFartsAlot1
It's basically Walmart but UK edition.
MetalGreymon
We also have Wal-Mart. They own Asda which is a competitor of Tesco.
RelevantImgurian
WHERE DO WE HAVE WALMART I WANT TO GO SEE THE AMERICANS?!
Archaon6044
Aldi and lidl are a good shout. If you live in Hampshire; Eastleigh is full of People of Walmart sorts
xVancha
Tesco, Sainsburys, Asda...They all skew more towards food than Walmart does, I think.
Catbab
Let's not forget Morrisons and Co-op
PhotogenicHemorrhoid
M&S food
mikeatike
Wait, there is Domino's in the UK? As an American, I humbly apologize on behalf of my country.
dustygamedev
Went to Boston and got Dominos and it was horrible. However my Dominos at home makes great stuff. Quality is definitely store to store.
Toasterpops
There's a few run by Persians. They make good pizza
Toralar
Ate Domino's for like 3 years on Schofield. Their pan pizza is delicious.
YouAreMyFetish
At my local store the pizza is really good though. I guess it just varies but dominos is one of the best ( in my opinion) in my area
Mobileuserwholikestoberandom
I friggin love Domino's, why don't you?
Arcanum3000
They're actually decent since they reworked their recipes several years ago. Nothing amazing, but ordering from them doesn't make me sad.
CherryEmpress
Bah, Dominos is good when you're hungover.
iKon2000
One in my area is great
Toasterpops
It's probably the better pizzas for delivery here. Pizza pizza tastes like cardboard
AnitaNewusername
We have Domino's in the Netherlands as well. Ours is pretty good!
omgthemuffinman
As an American living in the UK, I can say they are worse here than the US.
Corrosion
My local one is actually quite good. Definitely a hit or miss brand though.
OrwellWaterloo
As an American in Scotland, they seem to be the same quality but with some different topping options. I'll never accept tuna and sweetcorn.
ICantThinkOfAU
... Is this a... Popular, option? In America?
OrwellWaterloo
I've never seen it in the States, just the UK. There are tuna and sweetcorn sandwiches too. :I
ICantThinkOfAU
Weird, lived in Scotland my whole life, never heard of any kind of Tuna on a pizza before... Tuna and sweetcorn in a sandwich I've seen a1/2
Archaon6044
Really? As a Brit, I spent some time in the states and I thought our dominos was streets ahead
TheZulthar
So how good are they in America? To me it's amazing
Morrigi
Overpriced with shitty service.
Lavitzzzzzzzzzz
Their service is shit, pizzas are small and expensive. Tasty; but small and expensive.
TheZulthar
Is that American small or actual small
mikeatike
How the fuck....?
Zarkai
Pizza Hut is legitimately better than them here. Barely. I'd heard Dominos was the better of the two in the US.
Cheomesh
It is.
mikeatike
But not by much, they are both shit.
EzraFell
Do you know how the English make their food taste better? Beer.
jcarn
You've never had a turkey wellington mate
StarkeRealm
No, we just deep fry our turkeys. Like everything else.
omgthemuffinman
They fucked it up even worse somehow and so many people here think it's amazing.
MooseFoxx
Can confirm it's terrible.
ICantThinkOfAU
Good lord man, where are you staying? Up here in the north of Scotland the general consensus is that the pizza bases are made of cardboard
SJSanity
I think it's amazing, but then I had pizza in the US...you guys are on another level.
FindYourChillMate
Because they are still one of the best and most widely known pizza places unless you find a good local store
DarkUranium
Man, I'm glad to live in a country where our town of 10k has like 7 or 8 pizza places, and not one franchise.
misterskeItaI
The Lush one was actually the customer being a dumbass. It was a bath melt, that you put into the tub, she was rubbing it on her skin
somethingnotyettaken
Was it? Or was that just the lie they told to cover up the fact they make their cosmetics from Tesco dog shampoo?
misterskeItaI
As someone who's used said bath melt... I am not a flamingo
heysniz
...yet
misterskeItaI
*Hides lovely pink plumage* NO!